by Sarah Price
“Amanda!” Anna called out.
Amanda recognized the large dark-olive-green boots on her feet as the kind her father used to wear when mucking the dairy. Over her head, Anna wore a plain navy knit scarf that was tied under her chin. Amanda glanced at the clock in the rented SUV and saw that it was almost one o’clock. Her sister must have just returned to the house after working in the barn.
“Is that really you?” Anna said, still smiling despite the tired look on her face.
Amanda glanced at the open car door and saw that Alecia was struggling to help Nicolas put on his coat, while Sofia and Isadora waited for Alejandro to put away his phone and get out. Amanda decided not to wait for them and quickly walked toward her sister. Her heart felt as though it would burst with joy. She had only met two of her nieces, Hannah and Rachel, just after Anna gave birth to Sylvia. Now, Amanda couldn’t wait to get to know her other niece and her nephew. Still, the years had passed far too quickly and Amanda realized that one week wouldn’t be enough.
“Hurry along, then!” Anna said in a cheerful voice, gesturing with her free hand, the shawl slipping over her shoulder. “It’s cold enough out here!”
And then Amanda paused, frozen in place for just a moment. Even from a distance, the large shawl draped around Anna’s shoulders could not hide the fact that she was pregnant. Very pregnant. Why hadn’t her mother mentioned that in the letter? Six children in eight years was a lot for anyone to handle. No wonder her sister had dark circles under her eyes.
Amanda reached out to embrace her sister. “Oh, Anna! I can’t believe we’re actually here!” she said.
“Oh, ja, we can’t, either!” The thick Pennsylvania Dutch accent on her sister’s words caught Amanda off guard. It sounded so singsong, a little lilt at the end of every other syllable. Amanda had forgotten about how pretty the Amish accents were.
She had also forgotten the Amish disinclination toward physical affection. While her sister’s face and words expressed joy at seeing Amanda and her family, Anna didn’t return her embrace.
Amanda pulled back, embarrassed. Hugging her sister had seemed natural to her. Her years of living among the Englische and dealing with adoring fans had clearly changed her. Embracing other people was so much a part of her life that she barely remembered her youth and how her parents rarely hugged her.
The screen door moved as Sylvia nudged it with her bare feet. The movement caught Amanda’s attention. “Oh help!” Amanda laughed as she hurried to the porch and gently touched the smallest girl’s head. “Who have we here? I don’t recognize any of these lovely young ladies!” she teased.
“Those are your nieces!” Anna gave a little laugh. “And your nephew, Samuel! Let’s go on inside,” Anna said, waving her hand toward the house as she stepped toward the door. “Save your greeting for the warmth, ’Manda. It’s too cold for hellos out here.”
Upon entering the house, the first thing that Amanda noticed was that the main room was cloaked in darkness. There were no kerosene lamps burning yet, and the hunter-green shades were drawn down to the middle, allowing only enough light into the room so that it wasn’t completely dark. As her eyes adjusted, Amanda quickly glanced around and noticed how untidy the house was. The counter was covered with dirty pans and bowls, and the table looked as if Anna had been starting to make bread.
Hadn’t Anna known that they were coming? she wondered. While they were growing up, her mother insisted on keeping the house tidy, saying there was no excuse for a messy or dirty house. Anyone could have stopped in, expected guest or surprise visitor, and that kitchen would have been spotless. Clearly, Anna didn’t follow their mother’s practice.
“Now, don’t you mind the mess in here,” Anna said, as if she read her sister’s mind. “I wasn’t certain of what time you were arriving and needed to make some more bread for church tomorrow.”
There was no malice in her sister’s voice, but Amanda knew that she had been caught judging the condition of the kitchen. Embarrassed, Amanda felt the color rise to her cheeks and was thankful that the room was not illuminated so that her sister couldn’t see her reaction.
“Go on and sit down.” Anna smiled as she took the baby from Hannah and sat in the rocking chair. “We have all day to clean up, don’t we now?” She addressed this last question to Hannah, who grinned and nodded. “There’s an awful lot of catching up to do, and that’s much more important!”
Quickly, Amanda turned her attention to the children.
Each of them wore the same style of dress but in a slightly different shade of green. Not one of them wore aprons, another surprise for Amanda since Lizzie had always insisted they wear something to cover their dresses. While Hannah’s and Rachel’s dresses were clean, the smaller two girls’ both had stains down the front. Despite it being winter, their feet were bare and dirty, typical for an Amish child. Only the little one wore a sweater, the buttons mismatched with the buttonholes.
And they were shy. Amanda couldn’t help noticing that, except Hannah, they all stared at her with large, dark eyes from round faces that could use a good washing. They tried to hide behind each other, Hannah winding up in the front with the younger three peeking around her at the strange woman who stood before them.
“Let me see,” Amanda said. She focused her attention on Hannah. “I bet you don’t remember me,” she said. “The last time I was here, you were just about the size of your younger sisters. Do you remember that, Hannah?”
She smiled and shook her head.
Kneeling down, Amanda faced the younger girls. She reached out and touched one who looked to be about seven years old. She surmised that she was only a few months older than Nicolas. “You must be Rachel.”
At the sound of her name, Rachel seemed to brighten, just enough to nod her head. But there was something in her large chocolate-brown eyes that, despite looking so much like Anna, made Amanda see herself. The little girl had an energy about her that shyness could not hide.
“You’ve grown into quite a big girl,” Amanda said, and Rachel giggled.
As Amanda talked to them, pausing to make a fuss over five-year-old Sylvia and three-year-old Elizabeth, she felt their uneasiness slowly shift to genuine curiosity. Amanda remembered well her own fear of strangers when she was a child, especially of people from outside the Amish community.
Englischers, she thought. Like they think I am.
The thought startled her. She hadn’t considered what her nieces would think of her—their mother’s sister who had refused to accept baptism and join the Amish church, instead marrying Alejandro. The aunt who had traveled the world in order to help build her husband’s empire. The woman who stood before them now in a simple black wool dress with pearl jewelry adorning her throat and ears.
When Amanda was a child, her parents tried to shield her from the Englischers who stared at the Amish people, pointing fingers and taking pictures with their bulky cameras. She had been sheltered from the outside world, just like Anna’s children were. It was so very unlike her own children. They barely noticed—and in some cases expected!—turned heads and stolen photos whenever they were in public.
The loud noise of yelling from outside and then stomping on the porch stairs broke her train of thought.
“Ach,” Anna laughed. “That must be your Nicolas!”
Amanda glanced toward the door. “He’s a ball of energy,” she said. “And all boy.”
When the door opened, Jonas walked in first, carrying one of the suitcases. He looked across the room and saw Amanda kneeling before the children. With a broad smile, he raised his hand and greeted her, almost as if she were a regular visitor at the house. “Hello, there!” He paused and kicked off his muddy boots. They landed to the side of the door, leaving a few clumps of dirt on the floor. “I found some people that belong to you!”
Quickly, Amanda stood up and crossed the room to give him a proper greeting. But she didn’t care; she embraced him anyway.
Behind him, Alejandro entered,
his tall frame filling the room, especially when he stood next to Jonas. He set down the luggage that he had carried into the house. “Anna. Good to see you,” he said as he removed his sunglasses and hung them on the front of his shirt, barely visible under his black leather coat. He walked over to her and leaned down and forward to press a kiss on her cheek. “Merry Christmas.” He paused.
“Why, I don’t think you’ve changed at all!” Anna said, her eyes glowing with delight. “It’s so right gut to see all of you! I just can’t believe my eyes!”
“And I see you’re expecting!” He glanced at Amanda and raised an eyebrow. “You never told me, no?”
“Had I known, I would have,” Amanda said, wondering if he was thinking about their small family. While the decision to not have more children had been mutually agreed upon, he had been the driving force behind the matter. She wondered if he had any regrets. Seeing Anna cuddle Samuel in her arms made Amanda long for the sweet smell of a bundled baby.
Jonas leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. Like Anna, the joy on his face was unmistakable. “I reckon Anna was keeping it a secret from all of you!”
Anna laughed as she waved her hand at him, as if dismissing what he said. “Oh now,” she said in a teasing tone. “I don’t have no secrets! You know that, Jonas.” She looked at Amanda. “He’s just playing with you.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
Anna shrugged. “Why, you both have so much going on. I didn’t even think to bother you with the news until the baby comes!”
The door opened once again. This time, Isadora walked in with Sofia and Nicolas struggling to push past each other. When Nicolas squeezed through, he tumbled inside and tripped over the wayward boots that Jonas had kicked off.
“Nicolas!” Amanda hurried over to him and helped him back to his feet. He was a mess already, with dirt on his knees and his shirt untucked. Quickly, Amanda brushed off his pants and ran her fingers through his hair. “Children,” she said, pausing to give him a warning look, “come meet your cousins.”
Grudgingly, the three walked into the center of the room, staring at the four little girls in their plain Amish dresses. Each group of cousins stood in a line, waiting for the others to make the first move. For a long moment, no one said anything. Amanda could see that they were sizing each other up, wondering about these strange relatives looking at them.
Nicolas took a step forward and squared his shoulders. Amanda thought he was going to extend his hand and shake hands like he had been taught. Instead, he hooked his fingers under his belt and tugged his pants upward. “Well, howdy, y’all!” he said in a silly voice and then scampered away, shuffling his feet like a penguin.
Horrified, Amanda’s mouth dropped open, and Alejandro stepped forward before Amanda could say another word. “Nicolas!”
Before Nicolas could be reprimanded, Sofia turned and looked at her mother. “Mami, there’s a three-legged baby cow in the barn! He can run darn fast!”
This time, it was Amanda who cried out. “Sofia!”
“What?” Sofia blinked her eyes, genuinely confused as to what she had said that was wrong “It’s true. Oh, and Nicolas stepped in cow poop.” She jerked her thumb in the direction of her brother. “He smells terrible now.”
“Aw, that’s not me. It’s the barn!” Nicholas pinched his nose. “It stinks something awful!” he said, waving his hand in front of his face.
“That’s it!” Alejandro said, using what Amanda recognized as his I’ve-had-enough voice. The muscles along Alejandro’s jawline twitched as he clenched his teeth. His hand came down on his son’s shoulder. “You, young man, help me find Abuela. I think she was headed toward the barn when we came inside.”
Nicolas scowled as his father dragged him back outside.
Appalled at the scene just created by two of her children, Amanda didn’t know what to say. She stammered as she tried to apologize. “I . . .” The words wouldn’t come. She bit her lower lip and felt a tightness in her chest. Her mother and father never would have accepted such horrid behavior! How on earth had her own children become so ill-mannered?
“Aw, don’t you worry none,” Anna said, obviously noticing her sister’s discomfort. She gestured for Hannah to take the baby so that she could get up. “They’re probably just excited, ja? Now, let me see Izzie.” Walking across the room, Anna stood before Isadora. She gave a little gasp as she examined her oldest niece. “Oh help, girl! Look. At. You!”
Isadora smiled and lowered her eyes.
Anna clicked her tongue. “Why, I don’t believe what I see! Where is that little girl who loved sugar cookies so much that I had to make them every day?”
“I . . . I think I remember that!” Isadora whispered in a soft voice. When she looked up, there was a quizzical look on her face, as if she were trying to fit the pieces left to an unfinished puzzle. “I stayed here a lot, didn’t I?”
Delighted, Anna clapped her hands. “Ja, you sure did!”
“While Papi and Mami traveled?”
Anna reached out and pulled Isadora into her arms, giving her a quick but warm embrace. “What a special time that was for us! Wasn’t it, Jonas?”
“It was, ja!”
Outside, Amanda could hear Alejandro talking with Alecia in Spanish as he helped her into the house. With such a disastrous beginning to their visit, Amanda wondered what else would go wrong. She shut her eyes and quickly said a prayer that Alecia would behave herself in Anna’s house.
“Mami,” Alejandro said when they finally entered. “This is Anna and Jonas.” He guided her over to greet them, his hand gently pressed against her back. “And this,” he said, gesturing to his mother, “is my mother, Alecia.”
Alecia appeared to stiffen as she accepted their handshakes and leaned forward to kiss their cheeks. Her eyes took in Anna’s enlarged stomach, and she raised an eyebrow at Alejandro. And then she began to look around the room.
“¡Ay, Dios!” she mumbled, making the sign of the cross with her hand, and Amanda braced herself.
Anna did not give Alecia a chance to say anything. Still smiling, Anna addressed her husband. “Mayhaps we should let them get settled in.” She turned to Amanda. “Mamm thought it best if Alecia stayed in the grossdaadihaus. It’ll be quieter over there, you know. And we have your old room made up for the two of you. Jonas even painted it when we heard you were coming!”
Amanda caught her breath. “My old room?” In the past, they had always stayed in the grossdaadihaus. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had been upstairs in the main house, never mind to stay in her old bedroom. “Oh, Anna . . .”
“And the kinner,” Anna continued, visibly pleased with Amanda’s surprised reaction but not wanting to give her a chance to fuss, “they’ll stay in Aaron’s room.”
“Who’s Aaron, again?” Sofia asked.
Isadora nudged her. “Mami’s brother,” she hissed under her breath. “He died, remember?”
For just a moment, a shadow passed over Anna’s face. Amanda wasn’t certain if it was because she was remembering their younger brother or because she was thinking about the dark period of time following the accident in the barn.
Alejandro cleared his throat, reaching for Amanda’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Amanda’s eyes met his as Alejandro nodded, letting her know he was right there beside her.
The shadow disappeared, and once again, the smiling, happy Anna returned. “Rachel, you go on and show your cousins to their room, ja?”
Amanda let Alejandro take his mother next door. Amanda had suggested that Alecia “freshen up” and unpack, although she suspected her mother-in-law would waste no time calling her friends in Miami to tell them all about the farm and the living conditions she found herself in. It was a conversation that Amanda was glad she wouldn’t overhear. It was one thing to imagine what Alecia thought of her family home; it was quite another to hear the actual words spoken.
Once everyone dispersed in their
separate directions, Amanda stood in the center of the kitchen with her sister. An awkward silence fell over the room, although they both could hear the noise of the children walking on the hardwood floor. Nicolas gave a shout and, from the sound of it, had jumped on the bed.
Looking at the stairs, Amanda took a small breath. “I should check on him,” she said softly.
“Now, now, ’Manda. Don’t you worry about him.” Anna redirected Amanda’s attention away from her unruly son. “Remember how Aaron used to do such things? That’s boys for you.” She motioned to Amanda to join her in the sitting area of the kitchen. “Kum, schwester. Let’s visit while we have a moment, ja?”
Amanda joined her in the sitting area, taking a spot on the sofa. “Let me hold your sweet Samuel,” she said, reaching out for the child. “I didn’t even spare him a glance, did I?”
Happily, Anna handed her the sleeping child.
Amanda gazed down at her nephew. His one-year birthday had been in early November, and, having been born premature, he was small for his age. But he was a beautiful boy, reminding Amanda of their brother when he was a baby. His hair was light brown, almost blond, and hung in long waves over his forehead. “Oh, Anna, he’s just precious, isn’t he?” Amanda whispered, doing her best to fight back the tears pooling in her eyes at the thought of Aaron.
“He is my special gift from God,” she replied, beaming with joy. Just then, a chorus of mischievous screams came from upstairs.
“All this noise!” She glanced up at her sister. “I’ll have to remind Nicolas to keep his voice down.”
“Pshaw! Not to worry. Samuel sleeps through everything.” Anna leaned over and stared at him. If Amanda hadn’t known better, she would have thought she saw a look of pride on her sister’s face. “Besides, he sleeps downstairs in our room.”