by Sarah Price
Leaving her daughter at a loss for words, Lizzie quietly walked away to go assist the other women who had busied themselves in the kitchen, setting the food into the dishes that would be passed around during fellowship. Amanda stood there, amazed by her mother’s words and pondering what message, exactly, the bishop was sending.
Chapter Twelve
In the early-morning hours, the only light in the room came from the small kerosene lantern that Alejandro had lit when he’d first woken. The flame flickered, creating a warm light that barely filled the room. The sun was not due to rise for a while, but already Amanda could hear and smell the stirrings of a new day on the farm. There was the faint scent of coffee, which meant Anna must be already up, and the distant mooing of the cows anxious for their morning milking.
In Miami, even with the endless succession of late-night concerts or recording sessions, it wasn’t unusual to see Alejandro rise early. He was a night owl by necessity, up all hours of the night and well into the early dawn hours until he would finally be able to rest his head on a pillow, hoping for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep before the cycle would begin all over again. Sometimes it caught up with him, and he’d sleep for almost an entire day.
Amanda would have thought that Alejandro would have used this time away from Miami and his crazy schedule of work to sleep in. Instead, Alejandro had been one of the first ones up, eager to start each day with this new routine—one he was not accustomed to but seemed to embrace with apparent enthusiasm. Amanda was coming to the realization that country life suited him, and she even wondered if he would ever consider giving up all of his fame if offered the chance to lead the unrushed plain life of a farmer.
Alejandro stood by the side of the bed as he quickly slipped a work shirt over his white sleeveless undershirt. Amanda sat, her pillow pressed behind the small of her back against the very same wooden headboard she’d had as a child, and watched him, curious as to what he was thinking. The previous evening he had been especially jovial and had even played a few rounds of checkers with Hannah and Rachel after supper while Amanda and Anna were busy cleaning up the dishes. During her youth, Amanda had been especially fond of these quiet moments after everyone had eaten and wound down for the night. They would stand at the sink, Anna washing and Amanda hand-drying the dishes while their parents talked about the day’s events. Last night, however, while they worked, Anna and Amanda had shared stories of their childhood. Sometimes one of them would laugh out loud, and Alecia or Lizzie would look up and smile. It was so nice to have everybody under one roof. Amanda could hardly remember the last time she had been with all her children and Alejandro in the same house, let alone the same room, just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company.
Now, however, Alejandro appeared deep in thought.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Amanda?”
The question caught her off guard. “Tell you what, Alejandro?”
“About Samuel,” he said as he finished buttoning his shirt.
Ah, she thought, Anna’s son. That was the reason why he seemed so serious. She wondered if he had been more insightful than she had, whether he had figured it out on his own or if Jonas had told him. After all, the fact that Samuel rarely cried, slept a lot, and kept silent for extended periods of time had not struck Amanda as odd. At least not at first. When they’d arrived, she hadn’t even noticed that he wasn’t sitting up on his own, at least not without support, because he was always in the arms of his mother or one of his older siblings.
“She only told me yesterday morning before church,” Amanda replied, lowering her voice so that no one might overhear her from the other side of the bedroom door. “We were both so tired last night that I didn’t have a chance to tell you.”
Alejandro gave a slight nod of his head as he grabbed a gray knit sweater that hung on a wooden peg on the wall, near the door to their room. “It was a busy day, sí?”
And today would be no different, she realized.
Despite being so far along in her pregnancy, Anna certainly kept busy. The more time that Anna spent with her, the harder it became for Amanda to remember the sister of her youth. She had changed so much since Amanda last saw her.
“I noticed something about my sister,” Amanda went on, lowering her voice just in case anyone was awake on the second floor of the house. “She’s just so”—Amanda tried to think of the proper word—“content.”
Alejandro frowned. “She was always content, no? I don’t recall her ever being unhappy.”
Amanda shook her head. “You didn’t know her after Aaron died. She was so quiet and withdrawn. And then when she returned with Jonas, she was happy, Alejandro, but not like this. Not the way she is happy today.”
He questioned her silently, with the raising of his eyebrows.
“And about Samuel,” Amanda continued. “I thought it was so sad when she first told me. But her attitude about it is so . . .”
As she struggled to describe what she had observed, Alejandro finished the sentence for her. “Inspirational, sí?”
That was not the word Amanda would have chosen. Hearing it from Alejandro, she was taken aback. After so many years of inspiring millions of people through his own music, his comment made her realize that he, too, needed moments of motivation from others.
“I was going to say positive and so optimistic,” she said slowly. But Alejandro was right. Inspiring seemed to be much more fitting. “It makes me realize how much people take for granted. If a person truly has faith, he or she knows that God will never give us a burden too heavy for us to carry.”
Alejandro slipped the sweater over his head. “¡Exactamente!” He ran his fingers through his hair and straightened the front of his sweater. “And that, Princesa, is why I find it inspirational.”
He sat down beside her on the bed. Amanda reached out to gently pluck a piece of lint from his sleeve. She was suddenly struck by how handsome her husband looked in his simple clothes. He didn’t need all of those fancy designer suits or the dark sunglasses. To her, he was always attractive, but even more so here, in her childhood bedroom, under the glow of a simple kerosene lantern.
“I reckon you’re right. It is inspiring. We have so much that we take for granted, we forget to take joy in the precious little gifts that God gives us along the way.”
Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against her forehead. “Indeed, mi amor. It’s refreshing to forget all of the stress and just . . .” He paused, thinking of the right word. “Just be. No schedules. No tours. No frantic phone calls. No interviews.”
She smiled. “It suits you very well actually, you know.”
“When was the last time we did this? Just escape from everything?” he asked, his forehead furrowed in thought.
She tried not to laugh. “Have we ever done this, Alejandro?”
He made a noise deep in his throat and stood up. “We need to do it more, then,” he replied absentmindedly as he started to walk toward the door. “I’ll see you at breakfast, Princesa, after the morning milking, sí?”
This time Amanda did laugh out loud, and Alejandro stopped.
“What is so funny, Princesa?” he asked.
“Oh, Alejandro, if all of your fans could see and hear you right now, getting ready to go milk cows in those clothes, they would laugh, too. That’s for sure and certain!”
Turning around, his hand on the door handle, he gave her a big wink and quipped, “Got to go milk my cows, Princesa, because they can’t wait. But you sure can, that’s for sure and certain.” And with this, he made his exit, leaving Amanda with a smile on her face.
Anna and Amanda stood side by side in Hannah Zook’s kitchen. The children were next to the kitchen table, their eyes eagerly staring at the large piles of cookies and brownies that adorned the different plates and serving trays. But first, they had to wait for the end of the silent prayer.
Most of the children were younger than Sofia and Nicolas, as the older children were still in school. The girls Isadora
’s age had finished their eighth-grade studies, and they stood in the background, waiting to help their younger siblings if needed.
“I haven’t been to a cookie swap since . . .” Amanda paused as she tried to remember. “Why, I don’t even know when the last one was, I reckon!”
Anna rubbed at the small of her back. “Probably when Aaron was still alive, ja?”
The casual way that Anna mentioned their deceased younger brother surprised Amanda, especially since that tragedy had triggered so much pain in their family. And it was even more surprising given that they were standing in the kitchen of Hannah Zook, the young woman who had married Anna’s former suitor, Menno.
Just thirty minutes had passed since they had arrived at the Zooks’ farmhouse and Amanda hadn’t known exactly what to say when their hostess greeted her. After all, besides marrying Menno Zook, Hannah had also been rude to Amanda during one of her visits back to Lititz after she’d left the church and married Alejandro.
But Amanda sensed no animosity between Anna and Hannah Zook. Instead, they greeted each other as if there was no unhappy history to connect their pasts. Whatever feelings Anna may have previously harbored against Menno and his wife, Amanda could sense nothing amiss between them now.
Of course, she reminded herself, Menno broke off his engagement to Anna over ten years ago. Time had a way of healing old wounds, she reckoned.
To Amanda’s relief, Lizzie interrupted them. “Your back hurting you again, Anna? Mayhaps you should see that doctor before the holiday weekend begins. You know how those Englische doctors disappear during Christmas.”
“It’s fine, Mamm,” Anna said. “Just aches from church service yesterday. Those benches and this baby don’t seem to care much for each other. You worry too much.”
“That’s what mothers do, Anna. Worry,” Lizzie said in a point-blank manner, looking from Anna to Amanda as she spoke. Alecia nodded her head in agreement and put her arm around Lizzie’s waist, which caught both Amanda and Lizzie off guard. Amanda had never thought of Alecia as particularly motherly, though being a single parent must have left her with plenty to worry about. Amanda knew that during Alejandro’s youth, her mother-in-law had struggled to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads. Like any woman with a strong maternal drive, Lizzie or Alecia would do anything for their children and grandchildren.
“Sí, Amanda, your mother is right. Mothers always worry about their children, even after they are all grown up and have lives of their own,” Alecia said.
Amanda understood that the words her mother spoke were meant for her as much as for Anna. Amanda nodded and smiled at both her mother and Alecia. She was more appreciative of what her mother meant now that she herself was a mother. She thought of Sofia, Nicolas, and Isadora. Not a day went by without her praying for them. There was nothing a mother wanted more than for her children to be safe, healthy, and happy.
When they were finished swapping the cookies, Anna and Amanda gathered all the children together to leave. Everyone, even the littlest ones, carried a small tin in their hands, filled with all sorts of delicious holiday cookies to take home. There were bound to be visitors dropping in for a visit over the next few days, and the cookies would surely come in handy.
It was a short walk back to the farm, but it was cold outside, colder than it had been in the last few days. A few flakes of snow had begun to fall as they bundled themselves up and made sure all the children had the mates to their mittens. When Amanda looked behind her as she walked down the road holding the youngest ones’ hands, she saw Lizzie and Alecia lagging behind, their heads closer than usual as they chatted for the rest of the way home.
Chapter Thirteen
Nicolas clung to Amanda, his arms thrown around her neck as she held him while he sobbed into her shoulder.
They sat on the sofa in Anna’s kitchen, Amanda attempting to calm down her son while feeling too aware that Sylvia and Elizabeth were watching the unfolding and far-too-dramatic scene with a mixture of interest and concern. Thankfully, Anna was in the master bedroom tending to Samuel’s needs and was not privy to Nicolas’s meltdown.
“Please, Nicolas,” Amanda pleaded as she rubbed his back. “It’s only for a few hours.”
But he remained inconsolable.
Sofia bounced down the stairs, the small heels of her little black boots slapping against each wooden step. Behind her trailed Isadora.
“What’s wrong with him?” Sofia asked when she reached the bottom step.
Amanda gave her a warning look.
Reading her mother’s thoughts, Isadora quickly walked over to Sofia and put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Did I show you where Katie Cat used to sleep?” Her eyes shifted to where Sylvia and Elizabeth stood. “Want me to show you?”
As Isadora led her sister and two cousins outside, pausing to make certain they put on their coats, Amanda sighed in relief. Her daughter’s gentleness with the younger cousins was becoming such a blessing, especially when Nicolas was so out of sorts.
For a few moments, she held her son and rubbed his back, hoping that he would calm down before Alejandro returned from helping Jonas with the horse and buggy. Without an audience, Nicolas’s theatrics began to dissipate and were far less embarrassing by the time Anna emerged from her bedroom, carrying Samuel in her arms.
“Wie gehts?” Anna asked, moving to the rocking chair next to the sofa. Noticing the boy’s sullen face, she settled Samuel onto her lap before reaching out to gently touch Nicolas’s leg, which hung over Amanda’s lap.
“Someone doesn’t quite want to go with us, I reckon,” Amanda said as she met her sister’s inquiring eyes.
Anna clicked her tongue and shook her head in a lighthearted manner. “Such a big boy like you? Crying over something like that? Pshaw!”
With a sloppy sniffle, Nicolas moved his head so that his face was no longer burrowed into Amanda’s shoulders. Just from the way he was turned, Amanda could tell that he was peering at Anna with those big blue eyes.
“Why, I heard Jonas telling your papi how he wanted to ask you to help them this afternoon in the barn after we return home from the quilting.” She pretended to look disappointed as she shook her head. “Reckon Jonas will see you fussing and mayhaps he won’t ask.”
Curiosity got the better of the boy. “Helping in the barn? With what?” he asked, his voice betraying a mixture of disbelief and anticipation.
“Oh, things that only a big boy can help with!” Anna nonchalantly replied, knowing only too well that she had piqued the boy’s interest. Then, leaning back in the rocking chair and repositioning Samuel so that his back was pressed against her chest, she gestured toward the child. “Why, you don’t know how much your onkel was excited about you being here! He couldn’t wait to show you how to milk the cows and feed the horses.”
“He was?” Nicolas asked with a tone of incredulous but guarded excitement.
Anna nodded her head in an overly exaggerated way. “Oh ja! That he was, for sure and certain.” She paused as if pretending to think. “Why, I even recall him mentioning letting you hold the reins of the horse and driving the buggy!”
Amanda felt Nicolas draw a deep breath.
Waving her hand in the air, as if dismissing the subject, Anna continued. “But no worries, Nicolas. Jonas can make do on his own.” She sighed. “Just such a shame, seeing how much he was looking forward to it, seeing that he doesn’t have a son to help.” Another pause and then she added, “At least not a big one that could be as helpful as you.”
Nicolas straightened up and let his eyes drop from Anna’s to study Samuel. “He’s gonna have to wait a long time for Samuel to help out,” he remarked in a serious voice.
“That’s right.” Anna nodded thoughtfully.
Amanda glanced at her sister’s face and was surprised to see that there was no sign of sorrow when she agreed with Nicolas. Anna’s acceptance of Samuel’s affliction surprised even Amanda. After all, with the new baby being a girl, t
here would be no future sons to help Jonas with the farm. That responsibility would be left on Jonas’s shoulders and those of his daughters until they were married.
“But you’re having another baby, I think?” Nicolas’s eyes cast down to Anna’s waist.
Anna let her free hand fall onto her enlarged stomach, barely able to contain a smile. “Ja, I am.” She leaned forward, forcing a very serious look on her face as she motioned for Nicolas to come closer as if she wanted to tell him a secret. “But it’s a girl baby. So Jonas was really looking forward to having a big boy helping him in the barn.” She sat up straight and gave a little shrug. “But big boys don’t sass their mamm, that’s for sure and certain.”
Nicolas remained quiet, his one hand still on Amanda’s shoulder, but his grip loosened. He seemed to be contemplating Anna’s words. “Well,” he started slowly, “as long as I only have to go for a few hours . . .”
Amanda patted his back and kissed the top of his head. “That’s a good decision, Nicolas. Your uncle will be so pleased.”
He seemed to straighten his shoulders at her compliment. “Even though those cows sure do stink.”
“Nicolas!” Amanda tightened her hold on his waist, horrified at his words.
“And no more girlie cooking things?” he asked, not heeding his mother’s reprimand.
Anna laughed, her eyes crinkling. Once again, Amanda was struck by the thought that her sister looked truly joyful and at peace. Such a difference from the years immediately following Aaron’s death, when Anna had fallen into a depression.
“We can color instead, ja?” Anna said to her nephew. “While your cousins are at school.”
That activity seemed to satisfy him much better, and he nodded his head empathically.
Now that he had calmed down, Amanda suggested that he run outside to find the others and see where Katie Cat had been born in the barn. Eager to escape the confines of the house, and clearly having forgotten about having been upset earlier, he scampered down from Amanda’s lap and ran as fast as he could toward the door.