Landris put down the fork, a slow smile tugging at his mouth. “Actually, I just wanted an excuse to get close to you.” He ran his fingers lightly down the curve of her face. “And maybe kiss you. That’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last half hour.”
“Then kiss me,” she replied softly.
His hands moved to her waist, drawing her closer to him. Then he bent his head and put his lips against the pulse beating in her neck. Her fingers curled into her palms as he trailed soft kisses along her jawline to her mouth. His lips were cool, warming as they moved over hers. Faith didn’t have to hope she would feel something. Her insides trembled in response to his touch. Long before she was ready, he released her and stepped back.
“I probably shouldn’t have done that, either.”
His words were like the slamming of brakes in a car, pitching her forward and throwing her back hard against the seat. Before she could respond, a childish voice spoke from behind them.
“Mommy, I’m thirsty.”
Without looking at Landris, Faith swung around to answer Olivia. “What would you like to drink, sweetheart?”
“Apple juice.”
As she walked to the refrigerator, Faith fought to maintain her composure. When she did finally glance his way, Landris was looking at Olivia, his expression unreadable. Whatever his reason for kissing her, he regretted it almost immediately. A pain that was almost physical shot through her. Why had he given her a taste of heaven and then closed the door in her face?
* * * * *
Landris put away the remains of the cake, his mind trying to deny the obvious and his senses taking their time recovering from kissing Faith. Was he trying to complicate things? Did he need reality added to his already vivid imagination? He’d traded wondering what it would be like to experience the softness of her skin and lips for knowing exactly how amazing it was.
Getting interested in Faith wasn’t part of the plan. He needed a mother for Olivia, not a wife for himself. Where was the man who’d said it was as simple as not letting anything happen? All this time he’d fooled himself into thinking that his reactions to Faith were the normal responses of a man to an attractive woman. He’d even been naïve enough to believe he could control them. His mistake had been assuming that the damage Bristol inflicted on him was irreparable and that his heart couldn’t be touched.
After Olivia finished her snack, the three of them drove to Faith’s house to continue the process of packing up the contents. When they stepped inside the door, he immediately noticed the absence of the large wedding picture on the wall. A quick glance around the room confirmed his suspicions. All the photos of Faith and Ian were gone. What had she done with them?
As he worked in the dining room boxing up the china and silver Faith inherited from her grandmother, he wondered what she was thinking and feeling right now. This had to be a bittersweet moment in her life. He didn’t envy her the task of deciding what to keep and what to leave behind. Would it have been easier if she was marrying a man she loved? There would have been the anticipation of a new relationship to help ease the sense of loss. She didn’t have anything like that to look forward to.
Why then had she agreed to marry him? Why would someone whose experience with love had been so positive be willing to live without it? Was it because she thought she’d never love again? It bothered him to think she felt that way which was ironic considering his reasons for marrying her in the first place. Instead of trying to analyze her motives, he should be relieved that he didn’t have to worry about her becoming dissatisfied with her decision.
But he wasn’t relieved. He was anything but relieved. Why was that? A mocking smile flitted across his face. Because in the two weeks since he’d asked her to marry him, Landris had made a startling discovery. He wanted Faith to love him. The quiet serenity surrounding her soothed his tortured soul. When he was with her, he could forget everything else.
* * * * *
On the way back to his house, Landris suggested they pick up dinner from a drive-thru. Emotionally worn out from trying to act as if nothing had happened between them, Faith was all for making things as easy as possible. Once they finished eating, she was only too happy to watch him take Olivia to the backyard to catch fireflies. This allowed her the opportunity to unpack in relative peace. She hadn’t been able to change his mind about the living arrangements. Landris had given up the huge circular room with its king-size bed and antique cherry furniture for a room (and bed) half its size. The walk-in closet where she spent the next hour hanging up clothes was as large as her former bedroom. Her entire wardrobe barely used up a quarter of its ample space.
In the silent room, she couldn’t run away from her wild thoughts. Over and over she relived those moments in the kitchen. Landris had kissed her with an intensity that went well beyond the definition of friendship. Her love for him made it impossible not to respond. For the short time she was in his arms, she allowed herself to hope that this meant he was starting to think of her in more serious terms. His words shattered that illusion like the breaking of a mirror.
The sound of childish laughter reached her ears. Landris and Olivia must be in the bathroom. She’d been so preoccupied she hadn’t heard them come upstairs. In spite of her injured feelings, curiosity drew her down the hall to peer around the corner. Landris was sitting on the edge of the tub combing the tangles from Olivia’s newly shampooed hair. His t-shirt was more wet than dry.
“Which one of you took a bath?” she asked from the doorway.
Landris looked up quickly and met her glance. Was that relief she saw in his eyes? Had he noticed that she’d avoided being alone with him?
“The rubber duck race got a little out of hand,” he admitted.
Faith stepped further into the room. “I can see that. Let me finish with her while you go change.”
“That would be nice. Thanks.” He handed her the comb and then bent to pick up the used towels.
Faith finished Olivia’s hair and then watched as she brushed her teeth. On the way to Olivia’s room, she heard her phone ringing. “I need to see who’s calling me. Go pick out a book to read, and I’ll be right there.”
By the time she dug her phone out of her purse, the ringing had stopped. The missed call was from her mother, most likely confirming their arrival time tomorrow. Her parents were coming to St. Marys to meet Landris and Olivia. To say that they were thrilled about her getting married was an understatement. She just hoped she and Landris looked enough like a couple in love to fool her very observant and decidedly romantic mother.
When she came out of the room, she saw Landris returning from downstairs. “Olivia’s ready for bed.”
“I know you’ve still got some unpacking to do so I’ll read to her.” He looked beyond her into the room. “If you want to rearrange the furniture, let me know. Obviously when Taryn helped me pick out the furnishings, she didn’t know I’d be getting married. Feel free to make whatever changes you want.”
The only change she wanted to make didn’t have anything to do with how the room was decorated. “I like the mint green and the brown.”
“Whoever gets finished first can pick out a movie and feed Napoleon.”
“I was thinking of going home soon. I’m tired.” Something flickered in his eyes. Was it disappointment?
“Can you stay until I’m finished with Olivia? I wanted to discuss tomorrow with you.”
She didn’t want to discuss anything; she wanted to get home where she could cry or scream or whatever in private. For hours, she’d had to keep the disappointment from his comment about kissing her bottled up inside. If she didn’t let it out soon, she was going to explode.
“I guess I can do that. I’ll take care of Napoleon and meet you downstairs.”
He continued down the hall, and Faith returned to the bedroom. As she organized her shoes on the shelves lining one side of the closet, she felt a rush of sympathy for Connor. It wasn’t an enviable position to be the one who cared
more.
* * * * *
As Landris sat beside Olivia reading The Velveteen Rabbit, he had a sinking feeling that he was the reason Faith was tired. Had he ruined everything with those impetuous kisses? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice how quiet she’d become over the course of the long afternoon and evening.
Fortunately for his strained nerves, Olivia only needed one book. After turning on the nightlight, he quietly left the room. When he reached the stairs, he smelled coffee. Did that mean Faith had changed her mind about watching a movie? He poured himself a cup before going to join her. She was sitting on the couch; Napoleon was asleep on her lap.
“What time will your parents be here?” he asked as he sat down next to her.
“Around eleven-thirty.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting them.”
“It’s mutual.”
The short answers combined with her downcast eyes were enough to tell him his hunch was correct. He’d managed to put himself into just the kind of situation that he’d hoped to avoid. Setting his cup on the table, he reached for her hand. “Faith, are you upset about what happened earlier? When we were eating cake?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, a sure sign that he was on the right track. “I didn’t mean to make it so obvious. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions.”
“This is my fault. I’m the one who crossed the invisible line in the sand. I told you I didn’t expect anything from you and then I kissed you like that. There’s no excuse for it.”
She turned her hand over and linked her fingers through his. “I’m not upset because you kissed me, Landris. If you remember, I told you to do it. What bothered me was when you said you shouldn’t have done it.”
“For the reason I just gave you, not because I didn’t enjoy it. The buttercream icing tasted better on your lips than it did on the cake.”
She traced circles on the back of his hand, not looking at him. “Why did you kiss me?”
Because he couldn’t help himself. “Hopefully for the same reason you told me to do it. We’re drawn to each other. I felt it the moment I opened my eyes and saw you sitting up in bed, a scowl on your face and your eyes shooting daggers at me.”
“That’s my normal reaction to waking up to a stranger in my room.”
“Has it happened before? I assumed I was the first.”
“You were the first.”
He touched the ring on her finger. “Are you okay with me kissing you? If not, I need to know.”
Faith looked up at him, a shy smile on her lips. “I’m definitely okay with it.”
He felt an enormous amount of satisfaction from that admission. It was the first sign that Faith thought of him as something other than Olivia’s father. “I’m glad. I was afraid I’d messed everything up before we even got started.”
“You didn’t mess anything up.”
“Good. This is off-topic, but it’s been bugging me all afternoon. What happened to the pictures of you and Ian?”
She shook her head as in disbelief. “You don’t miss anything, do you? I packed them away. It wouldn’t be right to display pictures of me with someone else in your house, and even if you didn’t mind, I wouldn’t want to upset or confuse Olivia.”
Her answer stunned him. She was giving him the respect and consideration of a real husband. “You didn’t have to do that, Faith.”
“Yes, I did. Olivia needs to believe that her mommy and daddy love each other and that we’re a family.”
“When she’s older, you can explain to her about Ian.”
“Someday, yes. In the meantime, we have two people coming tomorrow who will expect to see what we want Olivia to believe.”
“Not a problem. I’ll stick to you like glue.” Landris touched the long braid hanging over her shoulder. “I hope your parents like me.”
Faith chuckled. “They already like you. You’re the man who’s going to rescue me from a life of loneliness.”
“I get the feeling you’re not joking.”
“My mother thinks I’ve taken too long to get on with my life. Maybe I have, but I had to work through my grief in my own way.”
“Parents always want to fix their children. It’s a compulsion. I’ve already found myself doing it with Olivia.”
“You’re going above and beyond what most people are willing to do. Not many men today get married solely to give their child a mother.”
His conscience reared its ugly head. He wasn’t marrying Faith solely for Olivia. Not anymore. Would such knowledge scare her away? “You’ve made a little girl very happy. For that I’ll forever be in your debt.”
Faith shifted Napoleon from her lap to her arms and stood up. “Let’s not talk about debts. We’re doing this for a good reason, and we’re both getting something we want.”
Landris thought about those words as he followed her outside to the Jeep. He’d been right to be afraid of falling in love again. It was going to turn his so-called marriage of convenience into something very inconvenient.
Chapter Eight
Through the window in the kitchen, Faith could see her father, Landris, and Olivia playing croquet in the backyard. Her soon-to-be husband had effortlessly won over her parents. His portrayal of a man in love might have fooled her, too, if she hadn’t known the truth. As it was, he’d given her sufficient ardent glances to keep her in a perpetual state of flux. If that wasn’t enough to deal with, there was the constant light pressure of his arm around her whenever they got close. Faith hadn’t needed the smile on her mother’s face or the looks exchanged between her parents to know what they were thinking.
Landris hadn’t been the only one to garner approval. Olivia had made an even more rapid impression. From the moment she ran into the foyer to introduce Napoleon to her new Papa and Nana, Olivia had Rita and John Coltrain in the palm of her little hand and hanging on her every word.
Faith’s worries about what her sports-minded fiancé and her nerdy father would find to talk about had proven groundless. It turned out that Landris shared her father’s interest in Civil War history. Their discussion of military tactics used during that time period was worthy of a History channel program. It was a reminder of how much she still had to learn about the man she was going to marry. Strangely enough, such knowledge didn’t frighten her. She was merely adding layers to the core values that had attracted her to him in the first place.
“I always thought you’d marry Matt Gibson.”
Her mother’s words startled her, bringing her glance away from the window. “I don’t know where you got that idea. Matt’s like my brother. There’s never been anything romantic between us.”
“Not before Ian died, but you both lost someone close to you. That can sometimes bring people together. What did you decide to do about your house?”
“One of Ian’s sisters is interested in buying it. You remember Jane, don’t you? She’s the youngest and recently got engaged. She wants the furniture and appliances, too.”
“I don’t think you could ask for a lovelier home than this one.” Her mother waved a hand at the mahogany cabinets and gray granite countertops. “This kitchen is like something out of a magazine. I love the touchless faucet and that huge walk-in pantry.”
Faith smiled as she closed the door of the dishwasher. “Me, too. I’ve never had this much room to work in before. It’s amazing how quickly you get used to it.”
“Landris is obviously a good father. Olivia is as sweet as can be and clearly thinks the world of you. In that regard, things couldn’t have worked out any better. Have you had an opportunity to meet his family?”
“I’ve met his sister Taryn several times, and I’ve talked to his parents on the phone. We’re supposed to spend next Saturday with them. Landris’s brother Trent travels a lot so I won’t meet him until the wedding.”
Her mother leaned over and kissed her cheek. “They only have to see you two together to know how much in love you are.”
Faith didn’t
like deceiving her mother any more than she liked deceiving anyone else, but she doubted her family or circle of friends would understand if they knew the truth. “I think it’s time we showed the men how croquet is played.”
* * * * *
Landris grabbed the water bottle from under his seat and took a long drink. It was only eleven in the morning, and he was already drenched in sweat. Yesterday had been much the same. He’d only been gone twenty-four hours and already he was wishing away the next two days until he could get back to St. Marys. His dislike of being away from home was compounded by the fact that there were now two people he missed and worried about.
It was strange to think that this time next week he’d be married. Ever since Faith accepted his proposal, he’d been too busy to think about life after they said ‘I do’. There had been so many things to do in a short amount of time. Now that the moment was almost upon him, he felt all the fears and doubts starting to build inside him. Would Faith, like Bristol, come to regret marrying him?
As much as he wanted to lay all the blame for the demise of his first marriage at Bristol’s feet, there was just enough doubt surrounding his conduct as a husband to make it impossible to do so. Lingering in the back of his mind were questions about whether he could have done something to prevent what happened. Had he become so absorbed in his career that he ceased to put Bristol’s happiness before his own? Had he not demonstrated that she was the most important person in his life? That there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her?
His inability to rule out his culpability had reinforced his conviction that marriage wasn’t for him. It wasn’t long before he convinced himself that listening to his heart had brought him nothing but trouble. Because of those uncertainties, he’d been hiding from love. It found him anyway. Faith slipped into his heart almost without him knowing and healed the gaping hole Bristol left behind. Her presence in his life was a balm to the bitterness and anger eating him up inside, a ray of hope for a man who’d been afraid to let himself love again.
Love of a Lifetime: A Sweet Contemporary Romance (Finding Love Book 3) Page 13