by Robyn Nyx
Madison placed her satchel in the seat beside her before settling in her chair. She checked the Find my Friend app and was glad to see Elodie was still at her mansion. She liked that Elodie wanted to know where she was and that she could check in on Elodie in return. It wasn’t a trust issue; it was comforting to know Elodie was that interested and that she wanted her to feel safe as well. And even though Elodie was joking about being able to find Madison’s body if any of the dangerous assignments she undertook went wrong, it did make Madison feel a little safer knowing someone was looking out for her, that someone cared enough to have her back.
“Maybe I’m coming around to the idea that L.A. isn’t that bad after all.” Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Have you finally been Californicated? That may make this offer easier to sell to you. And here I was thinking I might have a fight on my hands.”
“Sounds nasty. Have you trademarked that phrase?”
“Maybe I should, so don’t steal it in the meantime, girlie.”
“So what’s this offer that couldn’t wait a few days? I’m supposed to be busy doing nothing for a few weeks.” Madison thought of Elodie. She’s not exactly “nothing.”
“Okay, so Troy Donovan wants you to write his biography.”
Madison was both intrigued and wary. “Really? Isn’t he a little too young for a biography?”
“I think you’ll agree he’s already lived quite the life. The popularity of your feature vouches for the hungry readership out there wanting to know more. It’s still one of the L.A. Times’ most viewed articles. It’s a good new direction for you, girlie, and you’re his first choice.”
“First choice? He has a list?” Madison felt indignant and then uncharacteristically and guiltily egotistical. It wasn’t like she had a New York Times best-selling pedigree. She was lucky she was on such a list, let alone top billing.
“There’s always a list, girlie, don’t fret. In Hollywood, your favorite is very rarely available, unless you’re prepared to wait, and there’s a distinct lack of patience in this town. The point is, and the thing you should be concentrating on, you are his first choice. He says you understand him, and he’s comfortable with you. It’s a six-figure deal, and it adds another string to your bow. And it would mean no war zones for a while.”
Dom was clearly excited at the prospect, and Madison was glad it was for reasons other than a hefty 10 percent agent’s fee from both parties. However, she couldn’t help the quiet nagging at the back of her mind that a second celebrity piece following so closely to Elodie’s interview might be perceived as her joining the dark side. Will I lose the respect I’ve worked so hard to earn?
“My two favorite clients collaborating on a project that has the potential to influence and change lives—I’m in agent heaven. Say you’ll make it so.”
A project that could influence and change lives. Exactly the reasons she’d taken the path she had in her career. “What exactly would it involve?” Madison had written books before—well, she had around five in her virtual bottom drawer—all stuck around the thirty-thousand-word mark, where she always got bored, or disillusioned, or began to question her ability. So she sort of knew what it took to write a novel, but not to actually finish it. Journalism was a different beast altogether. At least reality was a little closer to home.
“A lot of one-to-one meetings. He says he has notes, journal entries, ideas, but he trusts you to do whatever it is you need to get the job done.”
“I’d need three-hundred-sixty-degree access with no boundaries. And no censorship. If this is a story that needs telling on this scale, it has to be warts and all. I can’t be involved in some fluffy rainbows and unicorns account of the transgender journey. He has to be one hundred percent honest with me about everything. Kids going through this have to know the bad, the ugly, and the painful.”
“He said you’d say that, and he said go back and listen to the New York interview.”
Madison recalled that particular interview for her feature. His truth was beautifully brutal. He gave her everything she asked for that night and more. They’d both ended up in floods of tears and a sea of vodka.
“He wants to make the extended book version of your Pulitzer feature, with a photo-journal, if you will. So he wants Geva Doyle involved too, but I’m having real trouble tracking her down. She’s a friend of yours. Do you have any idea where she is right now?”
“She’s in China with the pandas, but I can get in touch with her. I think she’ll be interested.” After the Russian assignment and being ejected from the country with a mere slap—across the face rather than on the wrist—she felt pretty lucky it wasn’t worse. Maybe Geva would appreciate a break on non-volatile soil too.
“You two are his dream team. So you’ll do it?” Dom pulled out a sizeable chunk of paper and placed it before Madison on the table.
She couldn’t help but laugh when she realized it was a contract with her name on it. “Isn’t that a little presumptuous?” She thumbed through it nonchalantly but had no intention of signing it just yet.
He looked smug but pleasantly so. He was one of the few agents who were actually likeable characters.
“You know I’m a big believer in being prepared. My lawyer drew it up a few days ago. I was almost certain you’d go for it. You need a challenge, Madison. You don’t need a few weeks’ break. You’d be bored within three days, if that. I know you. If your fingers aren’t dancing daintily across a Mac keyboard, all is not well in your world. If you’re happy in Hell A for a little while, this is the perfect solution. You can indulge your newfound Californication, and do it without worrying about bombs or militia.”
Madison felt a little mercurial. She’d had a career path in mind since she’d started with serious journalism, and yet here she was, fresh from writing one of the best-selling print celebrity pieces in a decade, and seriously considering writing a biography. Who am I? “I need to meet with him before I sign anything. Who else is on his list for the photographer?”
“Terra Gibson. And he said you’d say that too, so he’s joining us.” Dom checked his watch. “He should be here any minute now.”
He’d barely finished the sentence when Madison spotted Troy emerging from the elevator. He was wearing a white tee and black jeans, and Madison noticed how much more muscular he’d gotten since the feature. Geva had taken shots of him at the gym and pool as he’d worked hard to rid himself of the feminine curves he’d inherited from his beautiful mother. He told Madison he wanted the perfect male form: the six-pack, the V-shape upper body pointing to his brand-new penis, and the biceps to be able to hold a woman with her legs wrapped around him while he fucked her. The last part resonated with Madison. It was one of her fantasies to be fucked standing up by a dildo-toting woman with big muscles. After this morning, she was already wondering if Elodie was strong enough. Would she even wear a cock? What her hands were capable of was magic enough, and Madison struggled to remember having that many orgasms in a month, let alone one morning.
“It’s so good to see you again, Madison. Thanks for taking this meeting with me.”
Madison took his proffered hand, and he pulled her into a gentle hug. His chest felt rock solid against her soft breasts, and she compared it to their last hug in New York and the conversation Dom had referred to. Troy had probably thought she wouldn’t meet him because of his clumsy attempt to seduce her that night. He’d mistaken Madison’s empathy for something else and made his move. She was stunned at first, the vodka and the deep discussion about gender identity had muddled her brain, and she wasn’t sure at that exact moment if Troy was male or female. His lips were soft, his touch on her breasts practiced, and it had felt like the touch of a woman. In that, he already had a big advantage on most guys. Realization had kicked in, and she’d pushed him away firmly before leaving his hotel room. They’d spoken briefly on occasion since but had never revisited that night. He was obviously nervous a
bout how she might receive him now.
“It’s good to see you too, and I’m always interested in talking about new projects, Troy.” Madison didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, so she neglected to say she’d had no idea she was taking a meeting with, or about, him.
“And are you still interested now that you know what it entails?”
His tone was hopeful, and Madison could hear how important it was to him. She began to feel a little privileged that she was his first choice. “I am, yes. But I have a few questions.”
“Color me surprised. Shoot.”
The waitress brought Troy’s drink and their refills. She lingered as she handed Troy his beer, and he made sure their fingers touched. It made Madison smile when the girl blushed slightly, and she wondered if she knew Troy’s history. In the limelight, could he ever be free of it?
“What are you doing this for? It seems a little early for a biography.” Madison didn’t ask the blunt question she had in mind: Is this just for a quick payday?
“I’m seeing it more as a memoir than a biography. I want to tell people about my journey into manhood, now that I feel like it’s complete. Now that I’m accepted.”
“Do you accept yourself now?”
He took a slug of beer before answering. “I believe I do, yes. It’s been a long trek, but I think I’m there…so does my therapist!”
They all laughed.
“That’s unusual,” Dom said. “It’s not like a Hollywood psychiatrist to deny themselves a lifetime’s paycheck.”
“He hasn’t. He still wants to see me, and I want to see him. I’ve got issues beyond my gender, just like any other Hollywood darling.”
Madison had always appreciated Troy’s sense of humor. He was grateful for where he’d gotten to in life, but was still very aware he was a work in progress. “And you believe America’s accepted you?”
“For the most part, I do. And not just America, in Europe. England especially.”
“That’s not the experience Brad Carlton had when he came out. How does your situation reconcile with a Hollywood that sees fit to cancel contracts on the basis of sexuality?”
“I can’t comment on that. Maybe it’s more about his relationship with Hollywood than his relationships with other men that put paid to his career.”
“So you think you’re different? Special?”
“No, I didn’t say that. I do think Elodie Fontaine did the groundwork in many ways, and I hope to emulate her success. She had an alternative lifestyle, and she made the world love her regardless. They don’t see her as queer first. They see their beloved movie star, they see her as a great actress, and now they see her doing amazing humanitarian work. Her sexuality and her sex life are almost a side note. Or at least they would be if she weren’t so promiscuous!”
Madison thought she’d blushed slightly at the mention of Elodie. With Troy’s last comment, she stiffened, uncomfortable to be reminded of Elodie’s prolific reputation and what she was competing with.
“I think this book could educate people: parents of transgender kids, the kids themselves, and anyone who wants to understand what transgenderism is.”
“Do you not think you might be preaching to the converted? The people who want to read your book are the ones halfway there. Isn’t it more important to educate the ones who wouldn’t dream of picking your book up off the shelf?” Madison was being argumentative and playing devil’s advocate, but she wanted to be sure Troy was doing this for the right reasons. If she was going to venture into this world, she wanted to be sure it was for the right project. She wanted to do it, and she was excited at the thought of working with Geva again, but it was a huge commitment and a big career move. It had to be perfect.
“I think I have to take this one step at a time. The ones I’m most concerned about are people like me. If I can help just one transgender guy on his journey, if I can make it better in any way, and show that you can make it and all the pain and suffering is worthwhile, I’ll be happy.” Troy took another swig of his beer and all but slammed it back on the table. He laid his hands on either side of it more carefully and stretched his fingers out. “This isn’t a vanity project, Madison. You can be sure of that.”
“Is it all about FTM for you, or are you aiming it at all transgender people?” Madison wanted to be sure he could handle the tough questions.
“Not at all. That’s just what I know from experience, sure, and I can’t begin to know what it’s like for a MTF, but the loss is the same, as are the gains.”
“So, Madison, are you green-lighting this project or no? I think you’re a match made in heaven.”
Madison cringed a little at Dom’s phrasing. She didn’t think Troy still had a thing for her. In fact, she thought it was probably just the alcohol that fueled his ardor that night, but something still felt slightly uncomfortable.
“Maybe you could give us a minute, Dom?” Troy suggested, and Madison wondered if he was thinking the same thing.
“Of course. I’ll grab a quick puff of fresh air.” He smiled as he picked up his Camel Lights and headed for the smoking area. When he was out of earshot, Troy took Madison’s hands in his.
“I’m sorry about what happened in New York, Madison, and I’m sorry I’ve never had the courage to apologize before and clear the air. I was drunk, and you’d been exceptionally kind to me. I took your kindness for something sexual, and I’m so sorry for that. You’d been nothing but completely professional, and I disrespected that. Will you forgive me and work on my book with me? It has to be you, Madison, you and Geva. It wouldn’t feel right any other way.”
Madison smiled. “There’s nothing to forgive, Troy, you were vulnerable and needing something…something I could never give you, but something. I’d love to work with you again.” She appreciated his words, as rehearsed as they sounded. It put the past to bed and made up her mind to go ahead and give it a try. With a contract, an eager audience, and the fact that it was closer to the real-life work she did than the fiction she’d attempted, there was little chance she’d get to thirty thousand words and give up.
“You won’t believe how glad I am to hear that. Thank you so much.” He released her hands and finished his beer while Madison sipped at her peach iced tea.
“When do you want to get started?”
“Yesterday! Last week! Whenever you’re ready. I’m filming a pilot for a TV series right now, so I’m in L.A. all the time. Does that suit you? Dom said you were staying in the city for a while.”
“Did he? I don’t suppose he told you that I was taking a break from work, though?”
“If I’m honest, I wouldn’t have listened even if he had. But I will wait if you want to delay starting the project. If we can get Geva on board, I could start with some photos while you enjoy your break?”
It was sweet of him to offer, but Madison could see he was desperate to start and was hoping she wouldn’t take him up on the offer to delay. “No, it’s fine. I don’t think I’m programmed to actually take vacation time.” Madison thought of Elodie. It’d be good to have something else to concentrate on, or she felt she might easily end up spending the next month or so in Elodie’s bed, existing on nothing but sex and pizza, with nothing to do but wait around for more of the same when she came home from rehearsals. That might have been a no-brainer in her early twenties, but now it seemed decadent and irresponsible. It was important to Madison to maintain her sense of self through her work, because falling into Elodie’s bubble was a very real possibility.
“Have you signed the contract, Madison, or are you still grilling our brave hero?”
Dom’s return to the table was well timed. She wanted to get back to Elodie but didn’t want to leave Troy alone. She thumbed through to the first section with a bright pink Post-it note. Dom offered her a pen but she waved it away and retrieved the one she’d bought herself when she’d won the Pulitzer.
“That’s a beauty. Is that a Caran d’Ache?”
&nbs
p; Troy’s interest reminded her he had a collection of rare and antique pens, from ones used by presidents to Hemingway.
“Good spot, Troy. It was a gift to myself.”
“Quite the gift. Is that platinum casing?”
Madison felt herself flush. It was the most extravagant item she’d ever bought herself, and it still made her feel guilty to recall how much money she’d spent on it. “It is.” She signed her name in the requisite places as Dom and Troy exchanged friendly, mocking “oohs.”
Dom raised his glass. “A toast to my two favorite clients and the beginning of a very exciting project.”
They clinked glasses and sipped their respective drinks.
“I hate to cut this celebration short, but that’s exactly what I have to do.” Madison pushed the contract toward Dom.
“You’ll call Geva?” Troy asked as she stood.
“Of course. I’ll get back to Dom as soon as I get hold of her. She’ll probably want to meet you again, and it could be she’ll take some convincing. This is a far cry from her usual assignments nowadays, but you might be in luck.” Madison thought again of their Russian “adventure.”
The men stood and took turns to hug Madison good-bye.
“It’ll be good to have you in L.A., girlie,” Dom whispered in her ear.
Madison grinned. It’ll be good to keep having Elodie in L.A.
Chapter Twenty-two
“This bitch ain’t playing around, Dee. She runs an international trafficking ring worth millions, and they’re not gonna be gentle if they find out your girl is writing an exposé about their fucking operation. If they know about the package she received and come after her, it could get real messy, real quick. Does Madison even realize who these people are? Every fucking government agency wants a piece of her, but no one has been able to prove anything yet, and every time they think they’ve got someone to talk, that person ends up in pieces or baked in a car or some shit.”
Ice was pacing the kitchen floor, and it was making Elodie nervous. It was something she knew Ice did when she was on high alert or irritated. Right now, she seemed like she was both.