by Fleur Smith
If he was able.
Following the sound of Aiden’s voice, I braced myself and went in search of answers.
“Why on earth would the two of you travel to that place?” When I found Aiden, he was in the middle of an angry rant. “If you had taken a single moment to gather some intelligence, which you clearly needed, I would have told you to send anyone else up there in your place. It is too—”
He stopped as soon as he realized I was behind him. I held out my hands for the phone now that he was no longer talking to Ethan.
“Lynnie would like to converse with you again,” Aiden murmured into the phone before passing it over to me without waiting for a response. As soon as I’d taken the phone back, he ran both of his hands through his long, dark hair before allowing it to fall back over his high cheekbones. “I shall be back momentarily,” he murmured before leaving.
“Tell me what happened,” I said, infusing my voice with a peace I didn’t feel. I knew Ethan well enough to know he wouldn’t tell me the truth if he didn’t think I was in a position to hear it, but he wouldn’t bullshit me if I appeared calm and in control when I asked.
“From the moment we arrived, we realized something was wrong. And not just the something we were investigating.”
I was right about one thing, he seemed to have more confidence dealing with me while I wasn’t hysterical, so I worked as hard as I could to remain calm—if only for my little girl—as he told his story.
“The thing is, once we were here and had interviewed the past victims, it was clear that the thing hunting tourists was a púca, the shapeshifter that Clay told you about. It was on the list of possibilities so we were prepared for it, but it was strange because they’re not usually found here. We found it fairly quickly and saw that it had taken the form of a massive black stallion. Clay saw its true form though and understood what it was immediately. When it looked at us, I saw the gold eyes and knew he was right.
“We hunted it deep into the valley, but it didn’t attack. Clay followed it without difficulty because of his sight and it just seemed to lead us further into the canyon. I didn’t think anything of it, neither of us did, we just followed it along as we tried to assess whether it was definitely the danger and not just an innocent caught in the crosshairs. Clay followed the thing like a bloodhound. To be honest, I think he was just desperate to find out what the hell was happening so that he could go home.”
Even as Ethan said the word, a pang of hysteria rush through me knowing that Clay wasn’t coming home.
He will. Just give him time! This time tomorrow, he’ll call to let me know he’s okay and we’ll both be able to laugh about this.
“Just before the Lethe River, it snared Clay and bolted away. About halfway across, it dumped him into the river before shifting back into human form and holding him under the murky water.”
A sudden dizzy spell that hit me reminded me that I needed to breathe regardless of how desperately I needed to know the rest of the story. I inhaled sharply. The air burned its way into my lungs. I had to keep reminding myself that Ethan had told me Clay was alive.
Despite what Ethan was saying, Clay hadn’t drowned.
He’s not dead.
“I ran as fast as I could to catch up to them, but as a horse, the púca had covered so much ground so swiftly. When I finally reached them, the púca had already run off and Clay was motionless on the side of the river. For a minute, I was worried he’d drowned, but when I offered him my hand, he smacked it away.”
Despite the horror that still raced through my body, a small chuckle escaped me as I pictured Clay fighting away his brother’s helping hand.
“But then . . . well, I don’t know. He pulled himself out of the river and stood slowly. When I asked him if he was okay, he just . . . looked at me for a moment and then . . . he ran.”
“Why?” I asked. “Did he go after the shapeshifter?”
“No,” Ethan said. “That’s what’s so weird about it. He just ran off in another direction. It was almost like he was running from me.”
“But why?”
“I don’t know, but, Evie, in those few seconds that he looked at me, it was almost like he didn’t recognize me.”
“Could that have something to do with the púca?”
“It’s not something they’re known for. They can be tricky little devils, and they can cause some damage if they want to, but they’re not known for causing amnesia.”
“Maybe he hit his head?” I asked. The words tasted wrong in my mouth, and I wanted to spit them out. If that had happened, if he’d hit it hard enough to cause amnesia, even temporarily, he must have surely done additional damage. If he’d run off alone into the wilderness with a concussion . . .
I couldn’t even consider the possibility.
Squeezing my eyes tight, I tried to force oxygen into my body. It took everything I had not to hyperventilate as panic rushed through me.
“I didn’t see him hit anything, but I don’t know. I just can’t explain it, and since then I haven’t been able to find him. I ran after him, but it’s like he’s covering his tracks and using all of his knowledge of moving around undetected on me. I think he might have even slipped onto the ethereal plane. And the weirdest thing is that the púca hasn’t attacked again either. None of it makes sense. I hoped that whatever had happened to him, he would recover and return to base camp. That’s why I came back here. Well, that and to let you know what happened. I know he’s still alive. I just know it. I’m sorry I let you down, but I promise you, Evie, I’ll fix this.”
The thought of Clay being out in the wild by himself terrified me. The fact that he’d fled from his brother like he didn’t know him twisted my stomach into sickening knots. What could have caused that?
The words Aiden had said before I interrupted the phone call came back into my mind. He’d told Ethan they were fools for going up there. Why? Does he know something?
“Eth, what did Aiden say to you?” I asked.
“He wanted to know what happened and exactly where we were, why?”
“I think he might know more than he’s said.”
“Ask him what he knows and call me back. I’m not leaving Alaska until I find Clay. If you can’t reach me here, leave a message with Terry. He’s a ranger up here and was the one who called in the trouble initially.”
“Okay,” I said quietly. “Just . . . take care.”
“Always. You too.”
“And Ethan?”
“Yeah?”
“Bring him home to us, please.”
I hung up the phone feeling bereft. There were thousands of miles between Clay and me, and I was completely unable to help. I wondered whether Aiden could help get me to Alaska via the fairy rings despite the ban. It wasn’t technically Rain use after all, not if it was to help out a member of their court. Surely Aiden could have a dozen fae up there to comb the area for Clay in an instant.
In fact, that’s probably why he left, to arrange a search party.
Feeling slightly buoyed by the fact that Aiden was no doubt already on the case, I held myself together even though I still wanted to fall apart. I waited for his promised return, pacing the living room again and again, wearing a path in the carpet in front of our small sofa. I couldn’t imagine the rest of my life in that space without Clay at my side.
He is going to come home. He has to.
Between Aiden and Ethan, they would make doubly sure that Clay found his way back to me. I was certain of it.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BY THE TIME Aiden returned, I’d gone back to a seated position as my constant pacing was causing aches in my legs and back. The instant he knocked on the door, I raced to it, tearing it open only to be greeted with an extraordinarily worried look.
The serious expression sat strangely on his features, but I tried to force the concern it caused within me from my mind because he was bringing good news. He had to be. Leading him through to the living room, I prompted him to tell me
everything about the rescue I was sure the fae had mounted while he was back at the court. I was beyond shocked when he said there wouldn’t be one.
“What do you mean no search and rescue?” I asked incredulously, twisting to see whether it was some sort of joke. Surely no one could be cruel enough to joke about that.
“It is simply impossible, Lynnie. Our hands are tied on this matter.”
“You do realize that it’s not just anyone that’s lost, don’t you? It’s my husband we’re talking about. Your cousin and friend. Fiona’s son. How can you just abandon him? He’s got his wedding ring with him; surely Fiona can search her magic?”
Aiden’s eyes flashed with a rare ferocity at my words. “Do you honestly dare to assume that any of us want to leave him in Alaska? Even if he was not the son of our queen, even if he and I had not become friends, even if I was completely unable to tolerate his very presence, do you honestly believe that I would allow you to suffer the pain of losing him again?” His voice was low and dangerous, so much so that I actually took a step away from him.
I shook my head, knowing that Aiden would do almost anything for me—just as I would do for him. Since his reappearance in my life six months earlier, he’d been nothing but an exemplary friend. Surprisingly—or maybe not so surprisingly given the way they’d come together for the attack on Bayview—he and Clay had quickly attained the sort of relationship only cousins could have—stronger than friends but with less arguments than brothers.
They were so close, in fact, that I felt guilty for shutting him out for so many years just because he wasn’t able to be the man I’d wanted.
Knowing what I did about him, sharing the relationship we had, gave me the strength to firmly stand my ground against him.
“Then why don’t you have guards heading there already?” I cried. “Take the ones from here if you’re short of people. I need Clay back here, alive and unhurt, more than I need any protection.”
“It is not a matter of insufficient numbers, and neither is it anywhere near as simple as what you appear to be suggesting.”
“Why not?” I challenged, my chin set in a way that I hoped showed I wasn’t willing to back down. How could they abandon him?
“Because the Valley of Ten Thousand Smokes is a forbidden place to all fae,” he shouted back at me. “If those two gormless fools had bothered to inquire with any member of the court guard about their journey, they would have been told to send other Rain operatives; any other ones would have been a better choice than Ethan and Clay.”
His rage disarmed me, and my voice was barely more than a whisper. “Why?”
“The two of them have the blood of the fae surging through their veins. They receive some of the benefits of that, but it also causes them to be susceptible to all of our vulnerabilities. Clay most of all.”
The cries of pain that had poured from Clay when he’d encountered anti-fae protections in the Rain headquarters still haunted my dreams, so I knew exactly what Aiden meant. “I don’t understand though. Ethan knows how to break any protections, so why would you want them to avoid Alaska just because of that.”
“That valley is well known to fae-kind. Every fae child is warned away from it, along with similar places around the world. There are no fairy rings that lead there. There have not been for over one hundred years. To make one is a crime, and not something that even Fiona can do without consequence.”
I stared at him as I waited for him to elaborate.
“To our kind, it is not commonly known as the Valley of Ten Thousand Smokes, instead it is the Valley of Lethe.”
“That’s the name of the river Ethan mentioned,” I murmured.
Aiden focused on me, his eye narrowed and serious. “What did Ethan say about the river?”
“He said Clay was attacked near it, but I don’t understand what that means.”
He sighed as he realized he was going to have to go back to basics for me. It might have been common knowledge among the fairy courts, but it wasn’t to me.
“Over one hundred years ago, an Unseelie court tried to raise Hades. The attempt was for no other purpose than their own petty amusement. They were very nearly successful, having actually managed to bring the hell and brimfire to the surface, as well as one of the rivers. Twenty of the most-powerful Seelies from courts all over the world banded together and were able to manage to halt the progression and return Hades to the underworld, but the waters of the existing river were tainted by the River Lethe and the resulting smoke blanketed the area for almost fifteen years. As is usually the case, the humans declared it a natural disaster and determined it to be the result of a volcanic eruption.”
“I still don’t understand,” I admitted. “I mean, I get that something bad happened there, but that was over a hundred years ago. Why does that make it dangerous to you now? And why the hell does it stop you from helping me to find Clay?”
“The river that was released, the River Lethe, was once known as the river of oblivion. In Hades, new arrivals were forced to drink from its waters to erase all of their memory and clear away all remnants of the life they left behind.”
Ethan’s words about Clay’s reaction after being in the water rang in my mind.
“It was almost like he didn’t recognize me.”
Had he forgotten his past? Had he forgotten his family?
Has he forgotten me?
I was horrified. “If that river is so dangerous, why isn’t the whole area blocked off to the public then?”
“The majority of the public will not be affected by the waters, because it runs from Hades on the ethereal plane. Its effects are felt only by those beings that exist on the higher planes of being. Primarily, that mean it affects—”
“Fae,” I cut him off.
He nodded. “Now do you see?” he asked. “Do you understand the danger? If we send search parties to Alaska in an attempt to locate Clay and even one of them was infected by just the smallest amount of water, we would have an amnesiac fae warrior on our hands. The consumption of just one single drop would be enough to damage their memory.
“Affected fae would have the magic and strength to inflict untold damage on anyone they considered to be an enemy but none of our teachings to guide them to make the right choices. If Clay went anywhere near the water . . .” He trailed off, no doubt as the consequences of that sequence of events ran though his mind.
I imagined it myself. Even though Clay had settled into a routine with me and no longer hunted every supernatural creature ruthlessly, he was nonetheless a skilled fighter and a formidable threat, especially if his memory and conscience were wiped clean. I realized Aiden needed to know exactly what had happened.
“He was pushed under the water and held in place,” I explained, each word feeling like a lead weight on my tongue. The true horror of the situation was beginning to settle over me. “Ethan thought he was going to be drowned.”
Aiden’s gaze flashed to mine, fear running rampant across his features. I’d rarely seen him so shaken and it made my own heart beat faster. My breath caught in my dry throat.
“If that is the case, then this is truly as horrendous a situation as it could possibly be,” The depth of concern in his cerulean eyes pierced straight into me and made my blood freeze in my veins.
I closed my eyes to block out the intensity of his gaze, but it was no good, I’d already seen just how dreadful his assessment of the situation was.
“Any fae affected by the water, including those who are only partially fae, will lose their memory.”
“What if we can get the cure to him?” I asked, hope bubbling in me that there might be a way to fix this. We just needed to find Clay and apply some fae magic. It had brought me back from the dead, after all.
“There is no cure,” Aiden said, his sorrow-filled gaze dropped on me like a weight. “In all of our recorded history, there is no mention of any way to restore those lost memories. Many years ago, there were rumors of a second spring in Hades that re
stored the memory of all past lives, but the gates to Hades are now permanently sealed. If Clay truly fell into the waters of the River Lethe then his memories, his very personality, are lost forever.”
Lost forever. The two words leapt out at me with almost enough ferocity to force me from my feet. I held my stomach tightly, reminding myself of the one reason why I should try to remain calm and not panic as I sunk back onto the sofa.
Could he really be gone?
I couldn’t believe it—I didn’t want to believe it—and yet Aiden was certain that it was Clay’s fate for falling into the water. Despite my struggle not to panic, Aiden’s words and the concern that accompanied them was too much for me to handle. Tears began to spill from my eyes, rushing down my nose and falling heavily against my stomach.
“What will we do without him?” I asked my bump. Logically, I knew I was strong enough to survive even without Clay by my side—I could certainly raise our daughter the same way my Dad had raised me—but emotionally, I couldn’t get past the fact that I might never again be pulled from my nightmares by Clay’s whispered assurances. That I might never see his smile, feel his touch. That he might never again know who I was or what I meant to him.
Or worse, that I might not ever see him again.
Maybe Ethan was wrong about where Clay fell? Maybe it was a different river?
Hope bubbled within me as I grew convinced that Ethan was wrong. He had to be. It was all just a coincidence. There wasn’t any guarantee that the waters Clay had been forced into flowed from the River Lethe in Hades. Clay was probably just dazed because he was held under the water; it was nothing more sinister than that. I was certain that if I could just see him, we would be able to sort it out quickly and he’d be back with me in no time.
“I want to go there,” I said.
“No. I simply will not allow it,” Aiden said. “And I know with absolute certainty that Ethan will agree with me if you try to make the same request to him. Without a doubt Clay would want you out of harm’s way as well.” His eyes finished his sentence for him, “if he still had his memories.”