by Stella James
I drive down a bumpy road that leads to a house that has clearly seen better days. I park behind a rusted old truck and grab the small container of baking from the back seat. I’m not sure how I will be received but gran would approve of my effort. I remind myself of that as I drudge through the deep snow and up to the front door, I knock firmly and wait. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the frail old man that looks at me with tired eyes was not it.
“Who the hell are you?” He grumbles.
“My name is Sophie. I know your son.”
“Huh. Yeah, well, that doesn’t explain what the hell you’re doing on my front step now does it?”
I hold up the container of cookies and offer it to him.
“I just wanted to bring you these and see if you needed anything.”
He takes the Tupperware from me with shaky hands and rips the lid off before shoving a cookie in his mouth, crumbs trickle down his dirty shirt.
“You make these?”
“Yes I did. I do some of the baking at Olive’s,” I say proudly. I can tell Hank isn’t much of a chatter, so I decide I better cut right to the chase before I freeze to death on his porch.
“Look, Mr. Meyers, I just wanted to come by and tell you that if you ever need or want help, you can call me anytime and I’d be happy to do what I can for you.”
He throws his head back and cackles harshly.
“Little girl, I don’t know what the hell you were thinking by coming out here, but you’d better just get back in that truck and head home. Ain’t nobody around here looking for no help.”
I hesitate for a second and offer him a small smile.
“If you change your mind, I work mornings mostly. You can call me at Olive’s.”
I turn and head back to the truck. I feel sad for him and sad for Trace but you truly can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves.
“Hey!”
I pause and turn around to face him. He doesn’t say anything but there’s a question in his glossy eyes. I think deep down, beneath the layers of self-loathing, addiction and just plain misery, there’s a father who still cares for his son. Maybe deep down, he needs to know that Trace will be okay, that I will take care of him. I give him a nod and watch him retreat back into his worn out old house.
*
Cole and Lily don’t live far but I have to take the highway and I’m hoping they aren’t too bad at this point. I crank the dials to defrost and make my way to the road that will take me out of town. The pavement is a bit slick and the snow is almost blinding. I think about turning around but I’m already on my way and I really want to get this stuff to Lily. I pull onto the single lane highway and take my time speeding up. My grip on the wheel is tight and my stomach quickly ties in knots when I realize that this was a bad idea. I can’t see more than a few feet in front of the truck as the snow flies down in a heavy white curtain. I’m about to pull over and call Trace when I see a pair of swerving headlights followed by the side of a very large semi- truck headed straight for me. I panic and hit the brakes hard. The last thing I hear is the scraping of metal and the shattering of glass before everything goes black.
Chapter 15
Trace
I sit in my squad car and watch the snow fall while listening to the radio. My patrol is boring as hell today, no one is travelling in this shit. The snow has been coming down steady all morning and is just now starting to lighten up a bit. People in the area are used to these type of conditions but there are always those few jackasses passing through that don’t understand the concept of ice and snow. Sophie is probably home now, unpacking whatever she managed to load up and bring over to our place herself. Our place. I never thought I’d actually see the day that I ask a woman to move in with me. Then again, I never thought I’d fall in love either. Sophie has quickly become the one thing that I find myself unwilling to live without. She’s sweet and sincere yet passionate and sexy, all wrapped up in one very desirable package. I am one lucky bastard to have her love and I will do my best to never forget it.
The snow has pretty much stopped for now. I’m about to pull onto the highway and take the long way back into town to see if anyone got held up in this shit weather when my two way beeps and our dispatcher’s voice crackles through. Apparently there’s been an accident on the stretch of highway leading to Cole and Lily’s place. Probably some asshole texting and driving. They need help directing traffic so it looks like I’m taking a bigger detour than I thought. I see the flashing lights of the ambulance first. As I get closer I notice a semi turned over on its side and another vehicle buried in the ditch. I can’t make out the model but it looks like a truck. I park my vehicle in the middle of the lane and flip on my lights so that oncoming traffic can see that the road is blocked. I get out and see Doyle jogging towards me.
“Hey, what the hell happened?”
I’ll never in my life forget the look on his face and I’ll never remember the words he spoke before he said her name. Sophie. I shove past him and run to where the EMT’s are currently loading a body onto a stretcher. Her body. My Sophie. I look back to the vehicle in the ditch and hardly recognize my truck. Blood stains her clothes, her face is scraped up and starting to swell. Nothing exists in this moment. Not the people shouting. Not the truck driver sitting in the back of the other ambulance getting stitches. Nothing. All I see is the broken body of the woman I love. My feet move without even needing to be told until I am beside her, holding her small hand in mine. I can feel the sting in my eyes as I beg God to please let me keep her.
“Sir? Are you family?”
I shake myself from my daze and look at the woman strapping Sophie onto the cold plastic board.
“Yeah,” I croak. My voice is unrecognizable even to me. “I’m her family.”
“She’s stable for now but she’s got broken bones and possible internal bleeding, you can ride with us if you want but we need to leave now and get her to the hospital.”
I can’t speak but nod my response. I throw my keys to Doyle who answers with look of understanding. I watch them wheel Sophie into the back of the empty ambulance. I climb in after her and don’t leave her side until we make it to the hospital and they physically remove me. I sit in the waiting room, numb and afraid. It took me this long to find her, I can’t lose her now.
*
The minutes pass by like hours. I stare at the clock on the pale beige wall of the waiting room, I can’t bring myself to glance at the watch Sophie gave me. Doyle called me not long after they took Sophie in to see the Doctor. The driver of the truck will be fine. Apparently he hit a patch of ice and lost control of the wheel. By the time he saw Sophie’s headlights he was already swerving and couldn’t avoid her. The side of his rig hit her head on, kicking her into the ditch. The truck rolled several times before it stopped. If she hadn’t been wearing her seatbelt she would be dead. I can’t handle the thought so I push it far from my mind. I manage to call Mona who arrives with Kate not long after. Cole and Lily show up next, followed by Tim and Judy. Olive and Stan come too. Sophie’s entire family is here for her, praying for good news, making small talk to distract themselves and all I can do is stare at the damn clock on the ugly brown wall.
*
“Trace? Wake up honey.” Judy’s voice pulls me from the dreamless sleep I had fallen into. I rub my eyes open and see that the Doctor has finally come in.
“Mr. Meyers, everyone. I know you’ve been waiting a while so I’ll be brief. Ms. Burke has a broken leg, several bruised ribs, a broken arm and a fractured collar bone. Her spleen ruptured which caused some internal bleeding but we were able to get that under control. She’s still unconscious for the time being but should wake up once the anaesthetic wears off. She’ll likely be very groggy for the next few days and will need to rest, but she will be fine. She is a very lucky young woman,” he looks at me before speaking again. “You may see her briefly but visiting hours are technically over so you’ll have to come back tomorrow if you’d li
ke more time. I’ll send a nurse to show you to her room,” he gives me a curt nod and turns back the way he came.
I release the breathe I was holding and blink back the tears of relief that fill my eyes. Judy lets go of the hand I didn’t even realize she was holding as a nurse comes through the door and tells me that she’ll take me back if I’m ready. I follow her down the brightly lit hallway and into a small room. Lying on a white bed, bandaged and bruised is my beautiful little red head. The machines around her beep in a slow and steady rhythm. I reach for her hand as I sit in the chair beside the bed and just stare at her. A few moments pass and I feel the gentle squeeze of her fingers. Her eyes remain closed and her voice is rough but I can hear her as clear as day.
“Trace?”
I gently kiss her forehead.
“Yeah baby, I’m here,” I choke out the words and bring her hand to my cheek. I don’t bother trying to wipe away my tears as they fall.
“It’s okay Trace, I’m going to be okay, right?”
“Yes. You’re going to be okay Sophie, I promise.”
Her breathing remains steady, the grip of her hand around mine softens.
“Good. I was so scared. I waited so long for you and I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”
She falls back asleep just as she whispers the last word.
Chapter 16
Sophie
“Trace I’m fine, you have got to stop fussing over me or I’m going to lose my mind,” I pour myself a cup of coffee and go back to dishing up our breakfast. I’m finally going back to work at the café and nothing is going to stop me. Not even the man I love. For the last several months I have done nothing but rest and heal. I am fully capable of returning to my normal routine. But I can tell by the tense set of his jaw that I’m in for a bit of a battle.
“It’s too soon Sophie, you’re still limping for shit sake.”
“It’s only a four hour shift Trace, and if I don’t get out of this house I am going to go nuts,” I set a plate of eggs down in front of him and sit on his knee. My arms wrap around him and I bring my lips to his neck. “I’m fine. I’ll let you drop me off and pick me up,” I give him my best attempt at big sad eyes and wait for him to relent.
“Fine, four hours and that’s it,” he sighs heavily.
Ahh, success! I hop off his lap and eat my own breakfast before getting dressed. I know he’s just worried but most of my injuries have healed without complication and I need to be useful again. The limp in my leg will go away once I build up the muscle again and everything else is fine. Ever since the accident, he’s treated me like a delicate piece of glass about to shatter and I absolutely hate it. He took time off work to take care of me and of course it was sweet and I was relieved to have the help, but I can’t have him hovering over me anymore. I’m going nuts just sitting around the apartment. If it hadn’t have been for Lily bringing the twins over a couple times a week so I could fawn all over them, I am certain I would have died of boredom. Even Mona told him to lighten up the last time she came over. And don’t even get me started on the fact that he’s hardly touched me, claiming he’s afraid he’ll hurt me. All of that is going to change tonight. I’ve got new lingerie and the determination of a woman who desperately needs to have sex. I’ll tie him to the bed if I have to. Hmmm…
*
1 month later
I pick up the last of my trays and set them in the dishwasher. This morning has been hectic and I’m finally getting caught up with my own stuff after helping with the customers out front. The line has thinned out so I take my chance and head back to the small office. I sit down and move the stack of mail, a bright pink piece of cardstock comes loose from the pile and flitters to the ground. I pick it up and nearly choke on my coffee. It’s an engagement announcement for none other than my dear old pal Melissa and a much older man. I’ve hardly seen her around since that night at the club and I guess now I know why. Looks like she finally found someone willing to tolerate her and judging by his wealthy appearance I wouldn’t be surprised if “love” wasn’t the only factor. Apparently the happy couple will be getting married this fall in a lavish ceremony followed by an extended honeymoon. Good riddance.
I’m just finishing payroll when there’s a knock at the office door. Shortly after I returned to work, Olive and Stan and I sat down and had a chat about the fate of the café. Turns out they’d both been bitten by the travel bug and wanted to get to it before they were too old to enjoy it. They didn’t have children of their own and Stan told me that I was the closest thing to a daughter they’ve ever had, blood or not. I was completely caught off guard and graciously accepted their offer to promote me to manager. They’ve been in Europe for two weeks already and if anyone deserves an extended vacation it’s the two of them. The fact that they trust me with their business is overwhelming but I won’t let them down.
“Come in!”
The door opens and Trace walks into the tiny room. Everything is back to normal between us but the look on his face fills me with concern.
“Trace, what’s wrong?”
He drops into one of the plastic chairs in front of my desk and roughly rubs his hands over his eyes.
“My dad died.”
*
The funeral for Hank Meyers is small and quiet. He passed away in his sleep from a heart attack and was discovered two days later by a young man working for the power company. Trace opted not to speak for him and left it up to the pastor to say what he felt was necessary. I know his emotions are conflicting. I don’t know what to do for him other than be here for him whenever he’s ready to talk. I hold his hand and stand by his side as the meager crowd filters out of the small church. An older man in a suit is the last to leave. He introduces himself as Hank’s lawyer and explains that several years ago Hank had visited him to draw up a will. There isn’t anything in the way of life insurance or money. The only thing Hank owned was his house, which he left to Trace. Apparently he could either sell it or keep it for himself. Either way the place would need a lot of work. We head towards his truck when I notice a woman standing across the street. It seems like she’s watching us but I don’t remember seeing her inside.
“Trace, do you know her?”
“Do I know wh-“
He glances up and stops. The grip he has on my hand tightens as the woman in question comes towards us. She’s older, maybe in her fifties. She’s slim and has short brown hair and she looks nervous. She looks Trace up and down, her eyes filling with tears.
“Trace?” Her voice is soft and timid.
“What are you doing here?” He asks.
She looks at our joined hands and gives me a tight smile.
“I’m Maggie,” she says. “Trace’s mot-“
“My mother,” he says.
“I know you don’t owe me anything, but may I speak to you for a minute? Please?”
I squeeze his hand and give him a quick kiss, “I’ll wait in the truck, take your time.”
He nods but I think he’s in complete shock. I don’t know this woman but I know that she left Trace when he was a kid, and not only that, she left him with the likes of his alcoholic father. Some things in life are too complicated to be forgiven right away, but closure is important and I hope that, if anything, his mother can give him that. Not only for who he is now but for the boy who was left behind.
Chapter 17
Trace
I stare at the woman I hardly recognize and I’m surprised that out of all the emotions I’m feeling, anger isn’t one of them. If I didn’t have Sophie, I’m sure that I would have been. But no matter the case, she makes me want to be better, and I don’t want to be angry at this woman. I want to understand this woman. So I ask her again.
“What are you doing here?”
She gestures to the bench in front of the church. We sit down and I am reminded of how small she is. When I was a kid I used to look at her and wonder why she was even with my dad. I remember thinking he was so big and angry and she wa
s so fragile looking.
“Hank’s lawyer tracked me down after he passed. We never did get a divorce and apparently its standard procedure to let the runaway wife know when her husband has died,” she says the words with a humorless laugh. “I don’t know what to say to you, Trace.”
“Why did you leave? Why did you leave me with him?” I ask.
“I wish I had a straight forward answer for you. But I don’t. When I first met your father he was so full of life. He was kind and caring and I believe that he loved me. But as the years went by, life got complicated, money got tight, he started to drink more than just a casual beer now and then. He drank and he yelled. He broke things. He was so unhappy all the time and nothing seemed to make a difference. The man I married was gone. Your father became a miserable drunk and I was young and selfish,” she sighs and places her small hand on mine.
“I loved you, Trace, from the minute they put you on my chest and even now. But resentment is a strong thing and can cloud even the purest of love. I was so terribly unhappy and lonely. I met Jim, and for the first time in years I felt wanted by a man. I felt free and alive and I was so blinded by my desire to feel anything that I forgot all about being a mother. Eventually when my newfound freedom wore off, as most highs do, I was ready to come home. I was going to pick you up from school and get myself a job and a place to live. I made it more than half way back before shame and embarrassment overtook me and I turned around like a coward. I just couldn’t bring myself to face you. So I kept on running.”
“And why did you come today? Are we supposed to pick up as if nothing has happened?”
“Oh honey, I wouldn’t insult you like that. I’m not sure what I expected to be honest, but you deserved an explanation and I finally felt strong enough to give you one. If someday you want to talk and get to know each other that would be great. And if not, I understand. I would never assume that I have a place in your life, but you’ve got one in mine if you want it.”