by Mason Sabre
Gemma raised an eyebrow at him. “And what is wrong with me shifting?”
“Because you're a woman, and he’s a teenage boy. You really want to get naked in front of him? How will that work for his focus?”
“Seeing Stephen’s huge, hairy ass is probably the better choice,” Cade said to Gemma, though he realised that Stephen was right. And the thought of a hormonal teenager drooling over Gemma’s gorgeous, naked body had his mind going crazy. Cade could barely control himself at the sight of her naked—she did things to his senses without even touching him. How the hell was a teenage boy going to react? A Human teenage boy at that.
Cade scooped Phoenix up in his arms and stood up. The child’s eyes were half open and his breathing still ragged. He lifted a limp hand as if to scratch another itch, but Gemma grabbed it and gently pushed it back down. He wasn’t fighting now, at least, and that was a good thing. But the itch was still there.
Outside, Cade lay him down on the patch of grass in the back garden. Phoenix rolled onto his side and whimpered.
“Phoenix?” Cade said. “Can you hear me?”
No response.
“Phoenix?” A little louder this time. Unfocusing his eyes so that he didn’t have to close them, and so that Stephen wouldn’t realise he was using the bond between, he tried to connect with the boy. Stephen would start with his warnings about deepening the bond and that it was dangerous for Cade. But it was too late—Cade could feel how deeply they were already bonded. It was like the boy’s life echoed within him. Whether he liked it or not, he was stuck, and the boy was bound to him. “Come to me,” Cade urged.
Phoenix’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, and a mixture of relief and fear washed through Cade as he saw the brightness of the boy’s eyes. The wolf was awake, that was certain. Now they just had to bring him out safely. Would Phoenix make it? Would he live through this? “You have to be strong,” Cade echoed in his mind. “We’re going to help you shift, but you have to come out.”
Phoenix blinked up at him. He opened his mouth as if he was to say something, but Cade stopped him. “It’s okay,” he said. “Just find your way back. You can make it.” Phoenix’s eyes brimmed with tears as he tried to talk, but it was nothing but a raspy growl. “Push your wolf down. Take control and tell it to back off. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply—slow and deep. Control your breath. Feel it go through your body. Feel it in your arms and down to the tips of your fingers. Use it like energy. Breathe for me Phoenix.”
Phoenix was listening, slowly giving in to Cade’s coaxing. It took a few attempts, but his breathing finally started to come out in a more even rhythm.
“That’s it. Come on, you're doing it.”
Gemma rubbed Phoenix’s back and held one of his hands in hers. “It’s working?” she said, glancing up at Cade.
“I think so.”
Phoenix’s eyes closed tight, a tear slipping from one and rolling down his cheek. His bottom lip quivered as Gemma gently wiped it away. “Come on, Phoenix,” she whispered. “You’re doing so great.”
Cade pulled Phoenix into his arms, cradling him. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “We’ve got you. We do this together. All of us.”
“I’m a monster,” Phoenix sobbed against Cade’s chest.
“No, you're not,” Gemma said as she stroked Phoenix back. “The person who did this to you is the monster. Not you.”
Cade let him sit in his arms, giving him as much time as he needed. How he was coping in this world, Cade couldn’t even guess. Most Humans would not have survived this far. Phoenix was a fighter, and he had Cade’s respect and admiration for making it as far as he had.
Taking a long, shuddering breath, Phoenix pushed himself to a sitting position, forcing Cade to let go. His eyes had turned back to normal, but he was still running a fever. Gemma smiled at him, and he didn’t withdraw from her touch when she reached out and brushed his hair from his face. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“Don’t be,” she reprimanded gently. “There is nothing for you to be sorry about. Okay?”
“I don’t know how to be like you,” he said to her, his voice breaking.
“And we don’t know how to be like you,” she said to him, and when he frowned, she added, “See Stephen there?” Phoenix nodded, a hint of fear crossing his features as he stared at the big man standing there studying him. He was taller than anyone he had ever met, and packed with heavy muscle. An intricate tattoo ran down the length of one of his arms, immediately drawing Phoenix’s adolescent curiosity. He looked big all over, and the calm air about him seemed deceptive, dangerous. It reminded Phoenix of a leopard, just waiting to pounce on its unsuspecting prey. “That’s my brother. Looks like he can handle the whole world, right?” Phoenix swallowed hard and nodded again. “Want to see how he’d cope in your world?” she whispered conspiratorially. “He isn’t even housebroken. We have to send him outside for bathroom breaks.”
Shocked, Phoenix wasn’t able to stop the abrupt laugh that burst forth. He glanced up at Stephen in fear, worried what that laugh would cost him, but Stephen simply grinned and gave him a small salute. Phoenix felt a tremulous smile form on his lips, and lifted his own hand in a weak wave.
“No more monster talk, okay?” Gemma was scowling at him, but there was a smile on her face.
“Okay.”
Cade helped him to his feet, and then let him go with great reluctance. “Am I sick?” he rasped.
“No,” said Cade. “You need to shift. Your wolf wants out and it has been too long.”
“Does it hurt?”
“It isn’t the most comfortable thing,” Stephen said bluntly in the end when no one else spoke up. “Feels kind of like when you have been sitting in one place for too long, and then every bone aches like a bitch with a temper when you try move.”
Phoenix nodded slowly, seeming to accept this information. “How do I do it?” he asked after a moment.
It was the oddest question, yet it was the most reasonable. The three of them exchanged totally bemused looks. How did you explain something that was as natural as speaking?
“I’m going to shift,” Stephen said decisively. He was a man of action, and standing around trying to find solutions had never been his strong suit. “You can watch. It should, we hope, bring your wolf out. You’ll start with that itch again. Don’t scratch it, okay?” Phoenix nodded solemnly. “When you feel it, close your eyes and picture your wolf. Have you seen him before?”
Phoenix absently rubbed at his arm. “Yes. He is grey and blond.”
“He is you,” Cade said ardently. “You share the same characteristics because you are one really. We talk about the wolf as if it is separate, but he is part of you now, and that’s what you have to accept. When Stephen starts to shift, you have to let your wolf come out. When you feel it, get down on the ground and picture him. Invite him in.”
“He’ll do the rest,” Gemma added gently. “Do you think you are ready?” Phoenix fidgeted nervously as he glanced at them. His gaze trained on Gemma, perhaps needing her soft reassurance.
“What if I do it wrong?”
She reached over and placed her hand lightly over his. “There isn’t any wrong in this. If you can't shift tonight, we try again tomorrow. That’s all. That’s the worst.”
No, thought Cade, that isn’t the worst. The worst was if he didn’t survive the shift. The worst was if he fought too hard, and the wolf tore his body to pieces and took his life with it. Boy and wolf fighting each other for the same body—that would be the worst. Cade quashed that thought down, refusing to even imagine it. That kind of shit had no place here today. He ran his hands through his hair and cursed inwardly. Gemma reached over and placed a comforting hand on his arm. Cade stiffened as electricity shot through him at the touch, his wolf sitting up at attention.
“That is the worst.” She smiled reassuringly as if she knew what Cade was trying not to think about.
“Shall we do this?” Stephen asked and Cade nodded, not tr
usting himself to speak in that moment.
“When it starts to take hold, I’ll move back,” Cade said to Phoenix. “Gemma and I will shift right after you.”
Cade could hear the heavy drum of Phoenix’s heart as they stood waiting for Stephen to begin the shift. Cade’s own heart stuttered as Gemma reached behind him and slipped her hand between his as he held them clasped at his back. He gave it a quick squeeze and held on tightly, the need for her touch greater than anything he had ever known.
Stephen turned, revealing a back shaped and sculptured with muscles. The tattoo that covered his arm ran across the back of his shoulders and down his spine in a Celtic twine. Phoenix’s eyes were riveted on the impressive sight, his mouth parting slightly in wordless wonder. Cade was grateful for the momentary distraction the tattoo seemed to have caused the boy. Stephen removed the rest of his clothing, and when he was naked, he crouched down on the ground. He had one knee on the grass and the other up against his chest. He placed both hands on the ground, fingers splayed out, as if he were about to set off running.
Phoenix’s eyes were wide as he stared at Stephen. Would this work? Cade tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. This boy meant nothing to him really. A week ago, they didn’t even know each other. But maybe it was the bond between them, because Cade felt as anxious as hell.
Stephen closed his eyes and after a second or so, his hands began to move—more like the bones beneath rippled lightly under the skin. The undulation spread up his wrist, up along his arm and shoulders, and down along his back. The tattoo moved as if it were alive and when he opened his eyes, they were gold and green, the pupil now oval-shaped. Phoenix gasped and stepped back.
“It’s okay.” Cade voice was deeper now. Watching Stephen shift was making his wolf claw at him, bringing him to the surface with a demand to be allowed to emerge. He tried to rein it in, but his own eyes were shifting and his shift was coming on abruptly. It had been too many days without shifting. He reached for Phoenix, but Phoenix pulled his arm away, shaking his head in terror as he watched Cade with frightened eyes. Stephen’s mouth and jaw had transformed so as to accommodate a full set of tiger teeth.
“He’s not wolf,” Phoenix cried as Stephen let out a deep growl. It echoed into the darkness of the empty night around them. Phoenix backed up.
Cade shift had begun and it was impossible to stop a shift once you had let it start.
Panic mingled with the need to shift and the need to protect the boy. Cade fought his wolf as he tried to push through the slightly open door inside his mind. Phoenix’s shift hadn't even started yet—his eyes weren’t shifting, his teeth hadn't begun to come down.
“It’s okay,” Cade panted. “He’s tiger.”
Stephen reeled back on half-bent legs that were a combination now of tiger and man. His body was somewhere in the middle of the shift, but he stood like a deformed creature.
“I can’t,” Phoenix shouted, shaking his head vehemently. “I can't. I'm not one of you.” He cast one last frightened glance at Stephen, and then turned and fled, stumbling in his haste to get away. There was nothing Cade could do to stop him—he was shifting fully now. His clothes tore under the change from man to wolf, shredding into pieces.
He fell to the ground and landed on paws.
Chapter Nineteen
Phoenix couldn’t run fast enough. He made it to the road, his chest tight, his legs aching and the itch inside his skin alive with a fury he had never imagined he could feel. He sprinted along the road, his feet pounding on the tarmac. He had to get away from them, away from those monsters and what they were turning into. He wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t like them.
How could they change like that? It was like something out of a horror film. His dad had been right. Always right. All along. They were unnatural. They didn’t belong in this world. No wonder his father had rejected him … because he had known. He had known what his son would become.
Unable to run anymore, he came to a halt somewhere down the road, panting and gasping for breath. He didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t care—he was away from them. He bent over, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to regain his breath. He stared into the darkness he had just come from, praying that deformed thing wouldn’t come running after him. He tried to push the images from his mind. That man—Stephen—how could he stand it? He wasn’t even wolf, he was a tiger. What did that even mean?
The itching bubbling under his skin was a reminder to Phoenix of what he was now, too, and what he was never going to escape.
He sank down onto the kerb and hugged himself, his eyes glued to the darkness, ready to run at the slightest sign of movement. He glanced the other way down the road—both ways, it didn’t matter which way he looked, were dark and hopeless. No one was looking for him and no one wanted him. It wasn’t meant to be this way, he thought, a sob tearing from him. It wasn’t meant to be this way at all. He started to cry in earnest now, huddling into a tight ball. He was so sorry. He didn’t mean any of it. He hadn’t meant to cause it. If he could just go back ... His head was bursting with the pressure of all the pain inside, what he had done to his family, what he had become? The itch still crawled under his skin, the images of what he had just witnessed. He clasped his head in his hands, pushing away the thoughts. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do any of it. His stomach lurched and he was sure he was going to vomit again. He swallowed hard, determined not to let it beat him. Slow, that was what Cade had said, wasn’t it? Slow and deep. Bringing to mind how he had shown him to, Phoenix took in deep lungfuls of air, breathing in deep and exhaling slowly.
When his body had calmed somewhat, he sat there rocking himself. The clip of claws on the road brought Phoenix’s head up sharply. A large wolf padded towards him slowly, eyes watchful as he approached. Phoenix just watched him—he knew it was Cade. The wolf’s fur was the same brown as his hair, the blue eyes that watched him familiar. Phoenix found himself spellbound by the animal’s beauty. He stopped just out of reach and surprisingly, Phoenix felt no fear at all, even though the wolf was big and, no doubt, dangerous. He realised that it wasn’t fear he had felt before as Stephen had shifted, either. It had been more what it meant for him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to run like that.”
The wolf titled his head to the side, listening, but made no sound in response. Phoenix swallowed hard and shuffled along the kerb to get a bit closer. He had the strangest urge to reach a hand out and touch the magnificent animal, but fought the impulse and tucked his hands down into his lap.
“I’m never going to be like you, am I? I won’t ever manage to shift like you have.” He scratched at his scalp, the itch moving with new irritation, but it didn’t disappear when he scratched, and he dug his nails in harder. “Does this ever stop?” The itch moved and he followed, scratching as it went. “How do you stand this?” he said, gritting his teeth while scratching his arm. The wolf made no sound, just stood there quietly, watching and listening. Maybe it was normal to them. Maybe they just got on with it? But it wasn’t normal to him, and maybe it never would be. Maybe he would forever be the outcast on both sides—Human and Other. He should have died with his mother. The thought brought new tears to his eyes and another sob tore from his throat. He pushed down all the pain, refusing to give in to it. He had no right to mourn. He had no right to cry. Like his father had told him, it should have been him. As he stared at Cade, he knew that he was just another person he was going to disappoint at some point.
He wished he could go home. He closed his eyes, images of his brother and sister flooding his mind. Did they miss him? Did they care he was gone? What had his dad told them about him? Maybe they were all glad he was gone. When he opened his eyes again, Cade hadn't moved. Phoenix blinked and dug his fingers into his forearms until the itch was replaced by pain. “I'm so stupid,” he whispered. “I can't do anything.”
Phoenix had nowhere to go and no one who wanted him. He had nothing. He had ruined everything. But
as he stared at Cade and Cade stared back, he realised he had not turned him out, hadn’t left him to his own fate or to die in the forest. Even now, he had come after him and was waiting patiently. Phoenix stood up and wiped away his stupid tears abruptly. He didn’t touch Cade as he walked past him. He didn’t say anything, just marched down the street, his feet moving faster with each step until he was running again. He ran all the way back to the house, paying no heed to Gemma or Stephen as they emerged from the side of the house, fully shifted to tigers. He ignored them both and raced into the house, slamming the door to his room shut, he threw himself down onto the bed and screamed into the pillow.
Cade swore at himself as he stood outside the back room with the closed door staring at him. Why had he been so stupid? Of course the boy would run. He was fucking afraid. What had they expected? Now he was hiding in the room and probably scared out of his wits, and it was all their fault because they hadn’t prepared him for it. Here you go, watch Stephen turn himself inside out and then you can do the same. Idiots. Cade knew that if he had been in the boy’s shoes, he would have run, too.
Cade knocked on the door lightly, then a little louder when he got no answer. “Phoenix,” he called out. Nothing. He sighed and hung his head, hands on his lean hips. He couldn’t blame him for not wanting to speak to him or see him. He was just thankful that Phoenix hadn't bolted the other way. “Phoenix, please open the door. I'm sorry.” He was sorry, truly, and what surprised him most of all was the fear that he had felt when Phoenix had run. He had raced after him the moment his shift was complete, catching up to him in minutes. He had hung back, though, and waited. He hadn’t wanted to scare him off any more than he already had. It had been such a relief when Phoenix had finally given up and sat down on the kerb.
Cade tried the door handle, but the door was locked. “Please, Phoenix,” he begged. “Come on. Open the door.” He crouched down and peered through the keyhole, but the key was in the lock on the other side and he could see nothing. Sighing, he got back to his feet and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the hard wood. Phoenix was in there, his presence a comforting warmth on Cade’s skin. He was thankful to their bond for that. He didn’t want to leave him, he didn’t want to go back downstairs, but Phoenix wasn’t going to answer. And there was nothing he could do about it. “I’m sorry,” he whispered once more before reluctantly turning away to head back downstairs.