“You are the most gentle man I know. It is what I love best about you.”
Had he misheard her? Had she said she loved him? No. His mind must be playing tricks on him. With his thumb he found the pebble again, lifted her foot to an angle where he could see the offending foreign matter, and before he could think too much about hurting her or her loving him, he used the small silver knife to pry loose the stone.
Her high-pitched cry was stifled the instant after it escaped.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He clutched her foot with a gentle hand and pressed a kiss to the top. The pebble lay on the towel in his lap and her foot trickled blood anew. Putting the knife aside, he washed the wound before wrapping it in a clean bandage.
He felt her gaze on him before he looked across the chaise to find those crystal blue orbs following his every move. “You are an extraordinary man, Garrett.”
“I only did what anyone would do who found you injured.” His heart pounded, sending blood rushing to his head.
Leaning back, she smiled and closed her eyes. “I think you overestimate what people do for each other. I have a very close circle of friends, and while over the years the circle has grown, we are very careful about who we allow inside. People are not nice. At least, not many are truly good.”
Rubbing circles around the top of her bandaged foot, he couldn’t bring himself to break the contact. “I hope you count me among your growing circle.”
Then she was staring at him again. “You have been my most trusted friend even before there were Wallflowers.”
“Thank you.” He held his breath, though he couldn’t think why. Shaking off the effects of being so close to her and listening to her voice, he stood. “I’ll take you up to your maid. She will see to you.”
In his arms again, she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. Her breath tickled the skin at his neck. He would give almost anything to stay with her, but not like this. Not when she would likely remember nothing in the morning.
Halfway up the steps, she said, “I do love you, Garrett, you know that.”
Mid-climb, he stilled. Everything inside him froze, wishing there were truth in her words. “I think in the morning you will feel differently, dearest.”
A low sigh blew from her lips. Her voice was dreamy and slow. “No. I won’t, but I’ll keep my feelings to myself when the punch wears off. I always keep my feelings to myself.”
At the top of the stairs, he didn’t know which way to go. His body was on fire and his heart shattered into a million pieces. Part of him wanted to run back down the steps and carry her away with him. However, the part of him that was the Duke of Corwin drew a long breath and looked down the hall both ways. To the right, a door stood open with light pouring out. He turned and carried her to the open door. Inside, a young maid waited to take over his duties.
With the briefest instructions about Aurora’s foot, he left her, sitting on the edge of the bed with glassy eyes, and little hope she would remember anything she’d said or done.
Chapter 20
Mercy, Faith, and Poppy all arrived just after eleven the next morning. Aurora’s head still pounded despite several remedies sent up by Cook. She judged her poor health as punishment for bad behavior.
Every moment of the day before played over and over in her head. Why had she let Mary Yates turn her into a drunkard? Why did it have to be Garrett who’d found her and took her home?
Of course, the Wallflowers only came to make sure she was alright. They had been wary of Garrett being her chaperon, but there had been little choice short of alerting the entire ballroom to her state of inebriation.
They demanded full disclosure of the events after she left the ballroom. She could have said that she was too drunk to remember, but once she began the tale from Mary’s badgering in the dining room, she couldn’t stop herself.
“So, Garrett brought you home and tended your wound?” Poppy cocked her head and pointed to Aurora’s bandaged foot.
“As I said, he got a stone out of my heel, washed and bandaged my foot before taking me up to Gillian.” Inside, Aurora cringed at the memory of the things she’d said to him as he carted her to bed. Why on earth had she told him she loved him? It did no one any good and probably only hurt him in the long run.
“And you let him go?” Faith threw her hands up in the air and let them fall.
“What would you expect me to do?” Aurora had no idea what Faith was about, but she doubted she would like it.
Crossing her arms, Faith shook her head. “I fear what I might say would be unwelcome.”
Poppy jumped up, crossed to the door, and bolted it. “Then I will say it. Have you lost your mind, Aurora? That man loves you to distraction. Why would you not give yourself a chance at happiness? I know for certain you wish to have children. He is your chance for both of those things. Why do you insist on pushing him away?”
“You know very well why.” Aurora’s hold on her emotions was slipping. “You saw me all those years when Radcliff controlled my life. You tended me and called for the surgeon when I was near death. How can I ever let my person fall into the control of another again?”
All three stared at her with wide eyes.
Mercy asked, “Do you believe there are similarities between Radcliff and Garrett?”
“No! What kind of similarities could there possibly be?” Aurora raged at the notion that anyone could make such a comparison.
“You tell us, Aurora.” Mercy’s voice was soft and steady.
“Radcliff was a monster. Garrett is the kindest man I know. He would never harm anyone.” She would defend Garrett to the death if necessary. How dare anyone doubt his goodness. Her heart pounded and roared in her ears.
Faith raised her brows and leaned back in the chair. “Then Garrett is the type of man who would limit a woman’s ability to make her own choices.”
The notion was ridiculous. “You know perfectly well that Garrett is fond of independent women. He brought Helen to me. He respects that a woman may be a sensible and often resourceful person perfectly capable of knowing what is best.”
Poppy took a biscuit from the tray and sat on the end of the chaise. “Then certainly Garrett would restrict the movements of any wife he might take. He certainly wouldn’t wish his wife to have interest beyond keeping his house.”
Standing, Aurora looked down at the three of them as if they’d lost their minds. “Garrett Winslow would be proud of his wife’s accomplishments, and if she had a talent for something, he would support her fully. Any woman would be lucky to have his attentions.”
They stared back at her.
All at once Aurora’s heart crumbled into a million pieces. She sank to the settee and tears poured from her. Face in her hands, she tried to speak, but the sobs just kept coming. She’d chased away the only man she would ever love. She sent him right back into the arms of someone like Mary Yates.
Poppy sat beside her and held her around the shoulders. “It’s good to see you let this all out, Aurora. You’ve been holding in so much for too long.”
After several moments of sobbing, it became clear what Aurora must do. “You’re right, Poppy. I have always wanted a child. It’s not too late for at least that. I shall find a man who is amenable to an arrangement where I live separately once an heir is born. Surely there are many men who need an heir but would prefer the company of their mistress.”
Faith looked about to jump across the table. “What are you talking about, Aurora? I thought we were discussing Garrett.”
Shaking her head, Aurora dismissed the notion. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a napkin from the tea service. “Garrett is my dear friend. He would never suit. He deserves a proper wife who will nurture their marriage. I only want children and nothing more. It would be unfair to drag him into such an arrangement knowing his feelings for me.”
“Hera’s curse.” Poppy threw up her hands.
“It’s official, you have lost your mind.” Faith got up and pulle
d the cord for Tipton before unbolting the door. “I’ll not sit here and listen to any more of this.”
Tipton arrived a moment later.
“I require my gloves and pelisse, Tipton.” Faith narrowed her gaze on Aurora. “I hope you regain your senses, Aurora.”
With a nod and an even deeper frown, Faith exited the parlor presumably to wait for her things in the foyer.
Mercy sighed. “I know what you’re attempting, Aurora, and I understand.”
“It is doomed to fail.” Poppy leaned back and put her hands over her stomach. “It’s a great thing to want a child, but you do not have the right demeanor for a loveless marriage.”
“Don’t I?”
“No. You don’t.” Mercy agreed with Poppy. “You have endured more than anyone should have to with regard to a bad marriage, but to go into the commitment without any hope of love, or even contentment, seems far too cold.”
Aurora shrugged off the assessment. “You had several offers of marriage, Mercy. You must have considered some of your offers from men such as Mr. Garrott or Mr. Baker.”
The blush that pinkened Mercy’s cheeks told the truth of it. “I had few options and was a burden on you and my aunt. However, despite my consideration of such men, I never agreed to marry anyone who I didn’t feel I could have a loving marriage with.”
“That’s just my point. One can be content without love. I must find someone who will be just as happy to make such an arrangement and has no expectation of personal attachment.” Aurora began to make a list in her head of eligible men of the ton.
“Hades’ fire,” Poppy said. “We can’t have you searching for such a ridiculous thing on your own. Who do you plan to court?”
Rolling her eyes, Mercy gave a nod. “Do not think that I approve, Aurora. I’m as put off by this notion as Faith, but I agree with Poppy. We can’t let you undertake such a process on your own. Once Faith has thought it through, she will likely agree and join the cause too.”
A great weight lifted from Aurora’s chest. She knew it would all turn out right with her friends behind her. “The gossips say Lord Belham is looking for a wife.”
Poppy made a face. “He’s quite a bore. Harmless though. If you don’t plan to spend any time actually having to speak to him, I suppose he’d do.”
They were less than enthusiastic assistants, but by the late afternoon, they had made a list of three eligible men for proper investigation.
“I’m certain Belham will be at the theater on Wednesday, if you wish to speak to him. I can invite him to the box with Rhys and me if you wish to join us and make out his character.” Poppy sighed and toyed with a bit of torn fabric at the edge of her bodice. Perhaps Mercy can invite Lords West and Potsum to her dinner party next week.”
A crease formed between Mercy’s eyes. “I was planning to invite Garrett. Won’t it be awkward if we invite an extra few men?”
The strangeness of the conversation wasn’t lost of Aurora. It would be uncomfortable to be courting other men with Garrett present, regardless of the unevenness of the table by sex. Swallowing down her true thoughts, she said, “Garrett will have to learn to live with my decision at some point. It may as well be at your dinner party as far as I’m concerned.”
“You’ll have to invite a few extra women, Mercy.” Poppy bit her lip. “I’m sure Geb will be invited, and you don’t want to have three extra men. Is Aunt Phyllis in town?”
Mercy nodded. “I already had my aunt included. Your mother would be thrilled with the notion of you searching out a husband, Aurora. Shall I invite her?”
“Good Lord, no. After how she treated you before you became a countess, I’d not think you’d ever want Mother in your home.” Aurora’s mother had always treated Mercy like a servant fit only to play her collection of expensive instruments and entertain the guests at her parties. Of course, once Mercy became a countess, that all stopped, and a sudden warmth of respect always fell from Mother’s lips. However, the past still shone, and Aurora wouldn’t wish for Mercy to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.
Mercy’s shoulders relaxed. “I could invite Mary Yates to keep Garrett busy and entertained.”
A knot formed in Aurora’s gut.
“Would you want Mary in your home?” Poppy pulled a face as if she’d eaten bad meat.
“I could just marry Malcolm Renshaw and be done with it. He’s not titled but comes from a lofty enough family.” Aurora stared out the window thinking of other options.
“Malcolm!” Mercy gave an uncharacteristic shout. “Need I remind you that I had to stab him once, and you threatened him not a fortnight ago.”
“He can be reasoned with, and he will eventually need a wife,” Aurora shot back.
“No.” Mercy crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Just because I have forgiven Malcolm for his transgressions, does not mean I want my dearest friend married to a man who will sneak and connive to gain what he wants. Even this business at Whickette Park was underhanded. He could have just come forward and asked about the missing treasure he seeks, but instead, he wove a lie about being in the neighborhood and implied he wished to court you. He is not the kind of man who will honor his vows.”
Shrugging, Aurora tucked her feet under her skirts. “I don’t want a man to be faithful. I just want one to give me a child and then leave me alone. Malcolm might suit.”
Poppy looked back and forth between the two, and with a heavy sigh, put stop to the debate. “We can put him on the list as a last resort. The other three are titled and have no bad habits we know about. We shall see if you trust one of them enough to venture further, Aurora.”
“Prudence Mayweather is out of mourning. I will see if she’d like to join us. She could use a bit of company.” Mercy’s mention of their schoolmate who lost her husband in a carriage accident brought the conversation to a halt for several long seconds.
“She’s Lady Harcourt now, is she not?” Aurora thought of the skinny girl with wide brown eyes and realized she’d not seen the baroness since they were all in Switzerland.
Mercy smiled. “Yes. She has a very nice home here in town and a cottage in the country. I called last week, and she seemed a bit bored.”
“Who is bored?” Garrett asked from the parlor door.
Tipton stood beside him showing only the merest annoyance. “The Duke of Corwin to see you, my lady.”
Despite her pulse rate tripling, Aurora couldn’t help her amusement at Tipton’s expense. “Thank you, Tipton. I can see him clearly enough.”
“Shall I call for more tea, my lady?”
Her head still ached. “Yes, please, and maybe a few canapés Tipton. I could eat something.”
“Of course.” Tipton bowed out of the room.
Garrett bowed as the ladies stood to curtsy. “I’m sorry to interrupt, ladies. I wanted to check on you, Rora. How is your foot?”
“It’s nothing,” she said. “A bit sore, but nothing to signify.” She sat and tucked the bandaged foot under her skirts. “Will you sit?”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He sat in the chair closest to her. “I worried I’d failed to clean the wound properly.”
Mercy stood, as did Poppy, forcing Garrett up again. Smiling, Mercy said, “We must go. We’ve been here long enough, and now that you have more company, we’ll not worry over you.”
Narrowing her eyes on her friends, Aurora saw they were plotting to leave her alone with Garrett. Not that she worried overmuch. She would have to see him eventually, though she thought she’d have more time to conjure up what to say. “Thank you for checking on me. I shall see you at the theater.”
Poppy did a poor job of hiding her amusement. She practically bounced with mirth. “Yes, of course.”
They curtsied and quit the West Lane house.
Garrett stared after them a long moment. “That was strange.”
“They are just amusing themselves. Thank you for checking on me, but I’m fine, Garrett.”
He sat beside
her. “I have no doubt, but as you were under the weather last night, and we are friends, I wanted to see for myself that you have recovered.”
“Very kind.” In the light streaming through the window, his light brown eyes shone with flecks of gold and amber.
“Who was Mercy saying was bored?” The tea arrived, and before Aurora could move, Garrett poured for them both and placed two treats of cucumber and salmon on her plate. He met her gaze directly.
Swallowing down the urge to kiss him, she took the offering. “Thank you. We were discussing who Mercy will invite to her dinner party. Lady Harcourt is out of mourning, and Mercy will ask her to join.”
“I see. You are acquainted with the baroness?” He sipped his tea.
“She attended the Wormbattle School for Young Ladies while we were there. I’ve not seen her since, but she was a kind girl, and Mercy has kept in touch.” Lord, if her heartbeat didn’t slow, she would show signs of distress before long. She ate a canapé, made a deliberate effort to chew slowly so she wouldn’t have to speak for a few moments, then took a sip of tea.
“I wonder if you remember the events of last night, Rora?” He watched her intently but there was no judgment, only calm inquiry.
Aurora swallowed down the lump in her throat. Lying was a perfectly sane option, but there had never been any lies between her and Garrett. The idea of starting falsehoods now made her stomach even queasier than her bad choices of the night before. “I remember.” She couldn’t meet his gaze and stared into her tea.
“Then you recall what you said to me on the steps?” He put his tea aside.
Placing her own cup and saucer on the table, she met his stare directly. “I can only put the incident down to too much punch. I apologize if you thought it more than that. I care for you very deeply as a friend, of course, but it will never be more than that.”
Pain lanced through his eyes and struck her directly in the heart. It was bad enough to break her own heart, but to break his as well was too much to bear.
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