by L. Divine
“Consider it our little secret,” Nigel whispers back, swaying me from side to side. I miss his hugs. He’s always been a cool big brother, just like Chance. We untangle ourselves just in time for the warning bell. We hurry over to the vending machines to say a quick good-bye to my girl. KJ, who’s now sitting, gets up as if he’s about to leave, and that’s just fine with me. I’ve had enough of him for today.
“Nigel, have you met my girl Nellie?” I ask, unsure if they’ve actually been introduced. I know he’s met KJ, who shakes his head at me and nods a “what’s up” to Nigel before heading off to class. I’m sure there was an unofficial meeting for the athletes on his first day here.
“No, not really. I just noticed her fine ass in class,” he says, putting a smile on Nellie’s face like only Nigel can. I told her there was something special about the brothas from Westingle. They’re nothing if not bold about their shit because they have it like that. And Nigel, like most of the brothas up there, is fine. About 5’11” and built like he just got out the pen, he’s a magnet for girls with any kind of attraction to an intelligent thug.
“Well, thank you,” Nellie says. I think she’s already sprung, with my safety date bouncing away right along with her.
“Alright, well I have to get to class,” I say, feeling a little uncomfortable. They look like they want some privacy.
“Yeah, me too. Can I walk with you?” Nigel asks.
“Don’t y’all want to vibe?” I say, stating the obvious. They really look taken with each other and I don’t want Nellie to think I’m blocking. Besides, they’re going to the same class.
“I’ll see you in class, Nigel. And, nice to finally meet you,” Nellie says, taking control of the situation. “I’ll see you at lunch,” Nellie says to me, still smiling, but a little less enthusiastically.
“Alright, Nellie,” I say, going with the flow. Maybe Nigel wants to get the 411 on my girl before making a move. I lead Nigel in the direction of my government class, walking hella fast. All I need is to give Mrs. Peterson a reason to say something to me today. I can’t deal with anymore archaic punishments like handwriting the constitution again.
“So, what’s up with your girl?” Nigel asks, as predicted.
“Nothing. She’s feeling you and y’all would make a cute couple,” I say, gently nudging him with my elbow. “You should holla,” I say.
“I’m already part of a cute couple,” he says, looking down at me and smiling slyly. That’s another not-so-charming characteristic of Westingle brothas: They’re dogs.
“Besides, I get the feeling she’s a little stuck up. But, that other friend of yours is more my style,” he says, referring to Mickey. She usually is most dudes’ style: fine and unavailable. “What’s up with her?” he asks, sounding like a kid in a candy store.
“Nigel, she’s taken,” I say, looking at him in disgust.
“So am I. My girlfriend’s in college. We’re perfect for each other.” Now he’s put me in an awkward position and I don’t have the time to tell him off right now.
“I’ll talk to you later, fool,” I say, rounding the corner of the social science wing, where my government class is.
“Hey, Jayd, why the secret?” he asks, referring to our weekend rendezvous.
“Because, no one needs to know what I do on my off time,” I say. I hope he understands.
Since I have to meet up with Nellie at lunch to make fliers, and Jeremy after school, I won’t be able to talk to Ms. Toni until tomorrow morning. With all that’s been going on, I haven’t had a chance to fill her in on me and Nigel’s association, Nellie’s campaign, KJ and Misty going to the dance together, or Jeremy’s avoidance of any function Reid throws. I need some school advice and she’s the only one who can help me.
8
A History of Hatin’
“You ain’t a friend of mine/ You ain’t no kin of mine.”
—50 CENT
It’s only Tuesday and I’m already feeling the pressure of being Nellie’s campaign manager. Reid has been on my jock hard since yesterday when he saw Nellie and I putting up posters around campus. We’re also going to Kinko’s tomorrow after school to make some buttons and pamphlets to pass out on Thursday. She’s taking this campaign hella seriously, and I’m starting to catch her fire. It’s a good diversion from the drama with Jeremy, though. Yesterday during government I asked him about the real beef between Reid’s family and his family and he said it’s ancient history. Well, if that’s so, then Ms. Toni should know most of the details.
When I walk into the ASB office, I see homecoming crap all over the place. It’s break and unusually crowded in here. The cheerleaders and athletes are sharing the ASB headquarters because both clubs are in charge of the homecoming festivities next week. Some are even rehearsing their performance routines for homecoming week in here. At their finger tips they have everything needed to run a successful campaign. Anyone associated with either of these cliques has a clear advantage for victory.
“Jayd, what a pleasant surprise,” Reid says, looking prematurely triumphant, as usual. “Have you finally come to your senses and decided to rejoin the winning team?”
“I’m on the winning team. But, thanks for your concern,” I say, passing Reid and his little helpers as I enter Ms. Toni’s office, the calm away from the storm. It’s so tranquil in her little hideaway at the back of the ASB room. She’s even got an electric waterfall in the corner behind her desk. I just need a few minutes in her world to know everything in my world will be alright.
“Good morning, Ms. Toni,” I say. She’s seated behind her desk and I walk over to her for a hug. She’s so thin I feel like I’m crushing her with my heavy backpack on my shoulder weighing me down.
“Have a seat and fill me in, girl,” she says as I sit down in the chair across from her desk. “How’s Nellie’s campaign going?” she asks, offering me some cashews, which I accept. She always has the best snacks from Trader Joe’s.
“Slowly, but we’re picking up some steam,” I say. “I’m her campaign manager.”
“Really? And, that’s OK with you? Being a campaign manager is just as political.”
“I know. But, she promised to get off my case for the rest of the year. Not that I expect her to keep such a promise,” I say, recollecting her recent slip ups. “But I can hold it over her head and that’s priceless.”
“Good reason to help your friend, Jayd,” Ms. Toni says sarcastically. “What’s she on your case about now?”
“Well, a couple of things actually. The main one is that Jeremy won’t take me to the homecoming dance,” I say, not surprising Ms. Toni at all.
“I thought you might be the one to get one of those boys to a dance after all,” she says, a little amused at the turn of events. “But, I guess not.”
“What am I missing here?” feeling like there’s a common-knowledge story I missed the one day it was told.
“Girl, the Weiner and Connelly family feud goes way back before Jeremy and Reid,” Ms. Toni says while separating the stack of paperwork on her constantly full desk. “I believe it started with the two older brothers over a girl, I’m sure.”
“Why is it always over a girl?” I ask, already knowing the answer to that question.
“Well, I don’t know all the ins and outs of what happened and when. But, I do know I’ve never seen any of them attend any school function, not even a football game.”
“Really?” I ask, shocked at their devotion to a grudge.
“Really, Jayd. Those boys are serious as a heart attack about whatever went down between Michael and Ted, Reid’s eldest brother,” Ms. Toni says, offering me more nuts, which I gladly accept. The bathroom at home is still a slight mess and the kitchen has become a waste haven for everyone, not making it a pleasant place to eat breakfast.
“But, why carry it over into school functions? I just don’t get it,” I say. “This just all seems so insignificant, something you get over and talk about as a distant high school memory
.”
“Don’t let Jeremy’s aloof behavior fool you, Jayd. Those Weiner boys are very territorial. And, so are the Connelly brothers,” she says, sounding as if she’s warning me without knowing against exactly what. “You know Reid thinks of you as still a part of ASB, since you two made such a powerful debate couple and all, that is,” Ms. Toni says, reminding me of my brief stint as an ASB member. Reid and I would go back and forth about all kinds of political hot topics: abortion, welfare, affirmative action. Whatever I was for, he was against. Not much has really changed between us, I guess.
“But that’s insane,” I say, rising with the ringing bell. We have a quiz in government this morning and I want a little time to look over our review questions before class begins. “I have no loyalty to ASB.”
“Yes, and Reid does. He takes Nellie’s campaign as a personal affront. And, the fact that you’re dating his archrival doesn’t help,” Ms. Toni says, taking a sip from her coffee mug.
“Thanks for the warning,” I say before heading out the door. I didn’t get to tell her about Nigel. But, that can wait until another time.
What exactly happened between Michael and Ted, I wonder? I bet someone stole someone’s girlfriend and the other person never got over it, or something like that. I guess I’ll just have to ask Jeremy when we get a moment to chill. With Nellie’s campaign taking off, I’ve been too busy for anything else, including my man or my spirit work.
Before I left this morning, Mama left a note on my jacket saying to meet her at Netta’s after school and to bring my spirit notebook with me, which I forgot this morning. I know she wants to know if I read Maman Marie’s entire story yet. I’m sure if I’d finished it, I’d know more of our own history of haters.
On my way home to retrieve my spirit notebook, I receive a text message from Raheem, saying he’s missing my energy and hopes I can make it to the session this weekend. What am I going to say? I can’t keep lying to Jeremy about my new Friday night habit, which I’m considering making permanent. I miss being around Rah and Nigel, not to mention the lil homey Kamal. But, I also don’t want to rock me and Jeremy’s already shaky boat. Maybe if I could bring him along once or twice, he wouldn’t have a problem with me going. Rah and I can be friends, right?
When I approach the house, I can hear Bryan talking to someone on the porch. It’s his cute friend from the radio station, Tarek. I like Tarek’s whole vibe, especially the mellow tunes he kicks out on his show, Underground Bridge. Like Bryan’s show, his theme is all about acknowledging the deeper roots of hip hop and Black folks in general.
“Hey, Jayd,” Bryan says as I walk up the steps where they’re sitting, making sure Tarek catches my smile. He’s way out of my league, yet I can’t help but flirt.
“Hey, Bryan, Tarek. What brings you by?” I say, making small talk I don’t have time for. I already know Mama’s going to be pissed I left my notebook at home. I don’t need to irritate her more by being late.
“Your uncle owes me some vinyl,” Tarek says, meaning Bryan’s habit of “borrowing” music. From what Bryan’s told me, Tarek has an impressive collection. His weekly, two-hour radio spot only allows him to show it off a little. Tarek must have walls full of music at home.
What’s hella bomb about Tarek is that he’s not even from here. He was born in Libya and came here as a teenager. He’s from a strict Muslim family, like Raheem. I love when he comes by. Too bad I can’t chat longer today. I’m already late for my date with Mama and Netta.
“Well, I wish I could stay and talk, but I got to meet Mama at Netta’s,” I say, opening the front door and going straight to Mama’s room, dropping my backpack on my bed and quickly retrieving my notebook before rushing back out.
“Send your grandmother my greetings,” Tarek says as I pass by them by again and rush up the street.
“Will do. And, Tarek, I listen to your show every Tuesday,” I say, walking backward to flash a final smile.
“I’ll send out a special dedication for you next week,” he smiles back as I head up Gunlock to Netta’s Never Nappy Beauty Shop. Before I turn I catch Bryan shaking his head and grinning at my shameless flirting. That’s one part of our legacy I’ve got down pact. It’s everything else I’m not sure about.
When I get to the shop, Mama’s already sitting in Netta’s chair, getting her weekly french twist.
“Where the hell have you been?” Mama asks, impatient with my tardiness, as anticipated. Netta’s giving me a look that says, “Jayd, you better have your assignment done or your Mama’s going to have your ass in a sling.” Ever since Daddy let the plumbing get backed up, Mama’s been in a foul mood. She gets like this from time to time, when it all gets to be too much for her.
“I left my notebook at home,” I say, knowing my negligence will only infuriate her more. But, it’s better than telling her that Jeremy dropped me off a little late, and I had to take a minute to flirt with Tarek.
“Well, you’ve got it now,” Mama says as Netta cocks her head to one side, a little rougher than necessary. She’s a good buffer from Mama’s fire.
“Watch it, Netta,” Mama says.
“Well, you need to calm down. You didn’t even let the girl get in the door good before laying into her,” Netta said, defending me.
“Read me your notes from Maman’s story,” Mama says, while Netta brushes and sprays Mama’s smooth, black hair. Noticing my extended silence, Mama looks up at me, completely vexed.
“Jayd, did you finish reading Maman’s story?” Oh, shit. Now I know I’m in for it. I’ve only read some parts here and there, but not from beginning to end. Nor have I written down any of the lessons I’ve learned so far.
“Well, I didn’t know I needed to be finished with it by a particular date,” I say, trying to buy myself some sympathy. But, Mama’s not falling for the ignorant act this afternoon.
“Jayd, you know better than to play with me, girl,” Mama says, allowing Netta to continue her styling, although I can tell Mama wants to jump out of her chair and choke me. I reposition myself in my seat across from Netta and continue with my excuses.
“Mama, with all that’s going on at the house and school I just haven’t had time to read it. But, I have skimmed through and I’m learning a lot,” I say.
“Skimmed through? Netta, did she just say she skimmed through my mother’s history?” Mama asks, now looking me dead in my eyes. Netta’s momentarily given up trying to control Mama’s head. I have a feeling it’s been like this, to some extent, all day long.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I say, realizing I’ve hurt Mama’s feelings. “But, I’ve been overwhelmed with Jeremy and Raheem.”
“If I recall correctly, Jayd, reading Maman’s legacy is a prescription to help you with your little boy troubles,” she says. “You need to take your history more seriously, Jayd. Everything you need to help you in this life has already been lived and figured out in the lives lived before yours.” Mama, looking somewhat defeated, relinquishes control of her head, again following Netta’s lead.
“Well, some of the lessons I’ve learned have been helpful,” I say, only vaguely recalling my readings. But, so far I’ve been falling right into Maman’s downfall instead of learning from her mistakes.
“Without writing it down the only person you’re hurting is you. Make sure and ask your Mama about the repercussions of doing half-assed work. And Jayd, I want my assignment sooner than later or you won’t be going out with any of your little boyfriends for a long, long time,” she says. With that kind of threat, I better make the best of this weekend. I’ll just have to wait until Friday to talk to my mother about Mama’s warning. She’s never been this upset about me not finishing a lesson before.
Well, come hell or high water, I’ll have it done by next weekend. If for no other reason, than to help me with this Raheem and Jeremy mess. I can still feel Raheem’s lips from my dream about us kissing. Lord knows I don’t want to go through no more drama with his ass. But, I do want to keep him aro
und as a friend. He and Nigel are just cool peoples who’ve known me and loved me from way back. And, I don’t want there to be any negative energy between Jeremy and them. I’ve already seen how Jeremy handles his enemies and I don’t want him to have any more on my account.
After yesterday’s drama with Mama, I’ve been walking on eggshells at home. As a diversion, I’ve decided to completely throw myself into Nellie’s campaign. After school, the Drama Club will have a brief meeting to decide what to do with our performance day during next week’s homecoming festivities. I’m glad Jeremy takes me to Compton every day. It gives me free time in the afternoons that would normally be spent on one of the three bus rides I would take home. And today, I’m in no rush to get home.
Finally deciding on a grassy spot outside the drama room to hold our meeting, Alia, Leslie, Matt, and Seth sit opposite me, Jeremy, Nellie, and Chance. Alia tries to hide her feelings for Chance by not sitting next to him. But, everyone knows she’s got it bad for him. Too bad Chance is only interested in Nellie at the moment. He’s let all his White girls fall to the side for now, hoping he can when Nellie’s favor by spending more time with her during the campaign.
Nellie’s the only homecoming princess candidate out of our four at the meeting. All of the candidates were chosen by Seth with Matt’s approval. And, quite naturally, he picked only divas, like Tania and Nellie, to be our nominees. Normally, none of the candidates would be here. But, because she’s my friend, no one minds her being present. Our meetings are much more laid back than ASB or any other club, I’m sure.
“So, what’s the good word, people?” Matt says, officially calling the meeting to order in his own way. He’s our president and Leslie’s the secretary. We don’t have any other officers because we don’t need them. Mrs. Sinclair, our teacher and sponsor, keeps all of our money so there’s no need for a treasurer, and who cares about the vice president anyway? “We’ve got twenty minutes, so let’s get going. Leslie, are you writing this down?” Leslie’s too busy puffing on her Marlboro Light to write anything down.