‘And maybe he’d have died in the ambulance on the way.’
‘I know,’ Tessa said wearily, massaging her temples with her fingers, closing her eyes against the horrors of that night, but it didn’t work. They’d had this conversation numerous times, gone over and over the awful chain of events, but Max showed no impatience at the repetitive nature of the conversation. He, better than anyone, knew how much she needed to talk, needed to go over the jumble of events until hopefully they fell into some sort of order, and he waited patiently as Tessa sat with her eyes closed, struggling to hold it all together. ‘I know the outcome would probably have been the same whatever we’d done, I know all that. I’m just dreading it.’
‘Look, a day at the coroner’s court certainly isn’t one of the perks of the job,’ Max said with a dry smile, ‘but the further you go up the ladder the more it becomes a part of it. We’re accountable, Tessa, not just for our own decisions but for the actions of the staff under us, and like it or not, as unfair as it may seem, the buck stops here sometimes.’ His hand motioned the two of them and Tessa nodded glumly. ‘It isn’t a witch hunt, it’s about finding the cause of Matthew’s death, piecing together the chain of events and seeing if somewhere along the line something could have been done differently. At worst, the hospital might come in for some criticism.’ He watched as she flinched. ‘And if it does, we’ll deal with it,’ Max added gently. ‘We’ll learn from it and make damn sure that any mistakes that were made aren’t repeated. You know I’ll be there for you.’
‘I know,’ Tessa mumbled, daring to glimpse at the future when the coroner’s court was finally behind her. ‘We’ll have an extra-long lunch-break and dissect the court case over one of Narelle’s muffins.’
‘I meant that—I’ll come to the coroner’s court with you.’
Tessa looked up sharply. ‘But you weren’t even on duty when it happened.’
‘I know, but I figured you could use the moral support, so I’ve pencilled it in my diary. Dr Burgess will cover the department for me. I quite fancy a day out in the city.’
‘I don’t think there’ll be much time for sightseeing,’ Tessa pointed out with a slight edge to her voice.
‘I’m playing.’ Max smiled. ‘I just want to be there for you, I know how worked up you are about this.’
‘Y-you’re sure,’ Tessa stammered, stunned yet thrilled he would do that for her.
‘Of course I’m sure—we’re friends, aren’t we?’
‘You know we are.’ Tessa nodded gratefully then a teasing half-smile crept across her full mouth. ‘Let’s just hope it’s not adjourned, then.’ She watched as Max shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. ‘A few—actually, quite a few—little birds have been telling me that my friend Max has taken a position in London, an emergency consultant’s position, in fact, in a very busy, very respected children’s hospital. Of course, I told them they must be mistaken, I mean, surely my friend would have told me or at the very least hinted that a move was in the air, not just left me to find out on the hospital grapevine.’
‘You’ve been on a course,’ Max mumbled.
‘For five days,’ Tessa pointed out. ‘I hardly think all this was arranged while I was away on a trauma course.’
‘I just wanted to keep it under my hat until I knew I had the job.’
‘Fair enough,’ Tessa relented, but only for a second. ‘But you’ve never even given a hint that you’re fed up.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Then what on earth are you moving to the other side of the world for?’
‘Because it’s a great job—you know how much I love paediatric emergency.’
‘There’s a children’s hospital in Melbourne,’ Tessa retorted, ‘with a massive emergency department. If that was what you really wanted to do then I’m quite sure they’d have taken you on.’
‘I know,’ Max answered uncomfortably. ‘It was just too good an offer to turn down.’
‘Hmm.’ Tess stared across the table, her soft brown eyes still reproachful. ‘So some hospital in London urgently needed a doctor and thought, “Max Slater in Australia would be perfect for the job, let’s ring him now.” Come on, Max, your feelers must have at least been out. You must have applied for it.’
‘So?’
‘So, when did you start to get itchy feet and why didn’t you say anything? I know we’re not exactly bosom buddies, but I though we at least went a bit deeper than discussing Narelle’s latest creation. I thought you were really happy here.’
‘I am.’
‘So why are you going?’ Hearing a slightly needy note creep into her voice and realising she had probably gone too far, Tessa gave a small shrug and feigned a laugh. ‘Sorry, none of my business. I was just looking forward to your wedding—another excuse to go on a diet, if ever I needed one. And I’m peeved because no doubt you’ll whisk Emily off to Gretna Green and I’ll miss out on a great wedding party and my portion of the wedding cake.’
‘Emily’s not coming.’
The coffee that was on its way to Tessa’s lips stopped midway. Blinking a couple of times, she took a sip, before rather clumsily placing the cup back in its saucer. ‘Oh.’
‘It’s just me that’s leaving,’ Max added, and his eyes were avoiding Tessa’s.
Suddenly Tessa wished that she smoked. Not really, but it would be so nice now to have something to do with her hands, to create a tiny diversion while she flicked open a packet and lit up, a few seconds of grace to collect the rampaging thoughts that were stampeding through her brain.
Another ‘Oh’ was all Tessa could manage, though, coupled with a slightly dry smile as she imagined Narelle’s horror if she had dared to smoke in her beloved canteen.
‘We’ve put the wedding plans on hold.’ A smile tugged at the side of his mouth. ‘Aren’t you going to say “oh” again?’
‘Oh,’ Tessa squeaked, her mind working ten to the dozen.
‘Thing’s aren’t too great between Emily and I at the moment, but that’s just between you and me, so don’t go firing it around the hospital.’
‘I wouldn’t,’ Tessa said indignantly. ‘I only listen to the gossip, I never start it.’ They sat in silence again, but this time it certainly wasn’t comfortable. Endless questions bobbed on her tongue, but Tessa bit them back, knowing it was none of her business, knowing Max would tell her only what he wanted to.
‘London won’t know what’s hit them.’ It was a small attempt to break the strained atmosphere, a little joke to desperately lighten the mood that had suddenly taken a massive dive. ‘You’ll have to smarten up a bit.’
‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?’ Max replied indignantly, but he was at least smiling now they were on the familiar territory of his appalling dress sense.
‘Nothing.’ Tessa gave a cheeky wink. ‘For a walk along the beach, anyway.’
‘They’re smart shorts!’ Max protested.
‘They might be if you ironed them, and I can’t really imagine the consultants there wearing T-shirts and boat shoes.’ Tessa put up her hands in mock defence as Max opened his mouth to protest. ‘Just a mental picture I’ve got of London, Max—you know, doctors in smart suits, nurses with starched uniforms and caps.’
‘It’s the twenty-first century, Tess, that all went out with the ark.’
Tessa laughed. ‘I could be wrong, but you’re in a little bay-side town here Max, most of the patients know you already, the staff certainly do. We know that under that scruffy hair is a brilliant medical brain.’
‘Well, I’m not wearing a suit,’ Max shrugged defiantly. ‘For anyone.’
Tessa turned back to her coffee staring dreamily out of the window, images of London dancing through her mind—Piccadilly Circus, the Houses of Parliament, tree-lined streets she had seen only in televised weddings and funerals. So far away it might just as well be on another planet, and Max was actually going to be there, riding on the subway or the tube or whatever its name was, having short days and cold C
hristmases. Her mind danced around London as she sat there. She’d never had any desire to go, it had never even entered her head before. Despite being an eternal romantic, Tessa had her head screwed on firmly enough to realise it wasn’t all going to be rosy-cheeked children singing around Christmas trees and rolling English countryside littered with wildlife. And, no doubt, Max would grumble like crazy about the warm beer and the exchange rate, but London...
‘Maybe I should get some smart trousers,’ Max relented after a few moments’ silence, his mind obviously still on the conversation. ‘I guess I could buy a couple of shirts as well.’
‘A tie even?’ Tessa teased, and Max shuddered. ‘And while you’re at it, you might even get a haircut.’
‘You’re pushing it now,’ Max grumbled. ‘Still, I am going to have to start sorting things out, it’s only two weeks until I go.’
‘Are you excited?’
‘Yes and no.’ Max shrugged but didn’t give any more away.
‘It’s a big move, though,’ Tessa pushed, even though it was obvious that Max wanted to end the conversation. ‘You must at least be a bit nervous. Will you miss us all?’
‘It’s only for a year, Tess,’ he said, but the raw note of urgency to his voice had Tessa convinced he was assuring himself more than her. ‘Peninsula Hospital will still be here when I get back. I’m just taking a year out—things will stay the same, won’t they?’ His face was serious, his hand was back on her arm and Tessa swallowed the lump that had mysteriously appeared in her throat. ‘You’d do the same, wouldn’t you? I mean, if your dream job came up you’d grab it.’
For an age she stared at Max, but it became too hard. Too hard to look him in the eye and tell him she was OK with this. Dragging her eyes away, she drank in the view—the fisherman on the jetty, the endless beach that constantly beckoned her, the jagged rocks full of tiny pools, each one a Pandora’s box of treasures she’d gaze into and dream away the hours as she swirled her hands through the water.
Maybe London was glamorous and exciting, but it wasn’t home.
‘I’ve got my dream job, Max,’ she said softly, her eyes slowly moving back to him. ‘OK, it’s not the cutting edge of nursing, people aren’t going to look at my résumé and shake with excitement, but it’s all I want—Charge Nurse of the emergency department at Peninsula. Enough emergencies to keep the adrenaline flowing and plenty of stunning views to calm me down when it all gets too much. This is enough for me, Max. I thought it was for you as well.’
‘It is, it’s just...’ A long-fingered hand ran through his tousled hair and he let out a ragged sigh. ‘I need to talk to you, Tess.’
‘We are talking,’ Tessa said lightly, a forced smile taut on her strained face.
‘I mean away from here.’ He gestured to the room, his eyes never leaving her. ‘Away from the hospital.’
‘What about Emily?’ Tessa asked slowly.
‘She’s on call tonight.’
Another wrong answer. As the shutters came down on her eyes Max broke in quickly. ‘I don’t mean it like that, Tessa, I just really need to talk to you.’
‘No!’ Tessa said rather too forcefully. ‘It’s Emily you should be talking to about any problem you’re having with your relationship—she’s the one with your ring on her finger. And if it’s an impartial, feminine viewpoint you’re after, believe me, Max, you’re asking the wrong woman.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well...’ Tessa’s eyes darted nervously, wishing she could take back the words she had just uttered and frantically searching her mind for a way to diffuse them. ‘I’m not exactly an authority on the perfect relationship. Look how many dating disasters I’ve endured in my time.’
‘I’m not asking you out for a counselling session, Tessa, I just want to talk to you.’
‘Sorry, Max.’ Tessa gave a vague shrug. ‘I’m a bit tied up at the moment.’
Never had the chimes of the emergency loudspeaker springing into life been more gratefully received and Tessa jumped up, grabbing her pager from the table as Max reluctantly joined her. ‘Come on, it looks like we’re wanted.’
‘Tessa?’ The question in his voice didn’t go unnoticed, but so innocent was the smiling face that turned to him, so wide her smile, that Max hesitated, his pensive expression shifting, his own face breaking into a wide smile that matched hers. ‘Come on, I’ll race you.’
They sped along the corridor, laughing as they did so, Tessa’s long brown hair flying behind her as she tried to keep up with Max’s effortless strides, their pagers shrilling in their pockets alerting them to head to Emergency as other hospital personnel flattened against the walls to let them past.
And to anyone watching, Tessa didn’t look as if she had a care in the world as she burst through the swing doors and headed straight for Resus.
‘Beat you.’ Max smiled before turning to Jane and getting the run-down of the trauma that was about to come through the doors.
‘You always do,’ Tessa grumbled as she ran through and set up the necessary equipment.
‘Ah, but I had an added incentive to stay ahead of you this morning.’ Max grinned as Tessa’s forehead creased. ‘How many eggs did you say you’d had?’
It was a joke, a below-the-belt joke that nurses and doctors dished out almost by the minute, a brother-sister-type tease that normally Tessa would have shrugged off before it had even registered in her brain.
But it wasn’t a normal morning, and there was nothing sisterly about the way Tessa was feeling. Max was leaving, there was no denying it now, she’d heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.
It really was going to happen.
All that talk, all that bravado about being friends had all been a lie—a lie she was so used to living. After five years it came as naturally as breathing. And her excuse to him about not being able to offer an impartial feminine viewpoint had been another one.
Feminine she could readily manage, but impartial, well, it wasn’t even a vague possibility.
Max, with his curly brown hair and teasing smile, had never, since the moment Tessa had first laid eyes on him, been just a friend. Max, with his crumpled clothes and banana-skin humour, who could make her cry with laughter one minute and suddenly be serious the next, was so much more than her work confidant, brunch buddy and sounding-board.
There was nothing impartial about Tessa’s feelings.
Max Slater was the man that she loved.
CHAPTER TWO
‘SORRY to drag you back, guys. The story’s a bit vague from Ambulance Control so I thought it best to be prepared.’
‘No problem,’ Max replied easily. ‘What do we know so far?’
‘Speedboat versus jet-ski.’
‘Ouch.’ Max rolled his eyes. ‘How many?’
‘Three from the boat, two with seemingly minor injuries and one unconscious, thankfully they were all wearing life jackets.’
‘And the jet-skier?’ Tessa asked, mentally assessing the injuries and matching her staff available.
‘He’s not been so lucky, I’m afraid. It would seem he wasn’t wearing a life jacket. The report from Ambulance Control is that he’s got multiple injuries, including a possible broken neck. They were going to take him straight to the spinal unit, that’s why I held off calling you, but apparently he’s gone into full cardiac arrest in the helicopter so they’re bringing him here.’
The spinal unit was only another thirty minutes or so in the helicopter but, given that full resuscitation was in progress, thirty minutes along the bay was too long and Tessa gave a small grimace. ‘Hopefully we can get him there later. How do you want to work this, Jane?’
Technically the allocation was up to Tessa as she was the charge nurse on duty, but Jane was a senior nurse and this morning Tessa had let her be in charge, gradually allowing more responsibility to fall onto Jane’s shoulders, with the intention being that she could soon oversee the department by herself.
‘Well, I’d like
to take the full resus, but I guess if I’m supposed to be running the show I should take the unconscious boat victim and direct traffic.’
‘Good call.’ Tessa’s voice was encouraging, but inwardly she sighed at Jane’s persistent lack of foresight. As good an emergency nurse as Jane was, she had rather too much bravado about her and a noticeable unwillingness to delegate, far happier to be in the thick of things than running the show. It was something Tessa was working on quietly, but with rather limited success. ‘But the boat victim is an unknown entity. You might find yourself just as tied up with him.’
Jane chewed her lip thoughtfully, and Tessa glanced at her fob watch, willing her colleague to hurry up and make a decision.
‘Why don’t you send Kim in?’ Tessa said finally when it was obviously they weren’t getting anywhere.
‘But she’s only a grad nurse,’ Jane protested, itching to pull on her latex gloves and get on with the job she loved.
‘A grad nurse who needs more resuscitation experience,’ Tessa pointed out. ‘First-hand experience is the only way she’ll learn and at least Max is on so he’ll watch her like a hawk. I can oversee them while I deal with the boat victim.’
‘So when I’m in charge I just get to stay in the corridor and direct traffic?’
‘Well, there’s a bit more than that.’ Tessa smiled at her colleague’s disappointed face. ‘You’ll be run off your feet with relatives and us calling for things, but that’s the way it is when you’re in charge, Jane. Someone has to be the chief.’
‘Great,’ Jane muttered as Tessa made her way into Resus, more than happy to be in the thick of things again.
‘Sorry, guys, I was stuck in Theatre. What’s the story?’
Even if Tessa hadn’t recognised the voice, the sudden tension that filled the room told Tessa that Emily had arrived and, more annoyingly, Tessa didn’t even have to look up to know that the sight that would have greeted her would have been one of unruffled, petite beauty.
The Elusive Consultant Page 2