by Jahquel J
“Here’s a thought… be honest. Stop lying and sneaking and just be honest with him. He has had enough lies when it comes to his children. You not telling him about the twins and then Shakira lying about him being Summer’s biological father. Why don’t you be honest and tell him what’s going on? I can’t see him being mad since you both weren’t even together when you fucked Zoe.”
Justice was right. I had lied to this man so much that I didn’t think I had anymore lies in me. As a grown woman, the thought should have passed my mind to sit down and have the conversation with him. Still, I was so nervous and worried about what he would feel. We were in a good place and I didn’t want to ruin it with the news I was about to lay on him.
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I just need to decide how I’m going to tell him,” I sighed and continued to munch on the piece of bread. “Anyway, what’s going on with you?”
“Me and Priest are roommates,” she smiled and grabbed a piece of bread. “What is that look, Freedom?”
“I’m just saying, you can’t be roommates if you’re sharing the same room and fucking,” I laughed. “And didn’t you just say I was moving too fast… what do you call what you’re doing?”
“Actually, I’m staying in his guest room.” she shot back. “I couldn’t afford my apartment and had to give it up. Mommy said I could stay with her and I was, but I knew that she didn’t want me back home.”
“She would have welcomed you home with open arms.”
“Free, me and mama are in a weird place and I accept responsibility why we are. Still, going home was the last thing I wanted to do. Priest offered and I accepted. Yes, we’re dating and fucking, but we stay in different rooms.”
“Jus, as much as I complain I would have continued to help you pay your rent.” I reached over and grabbed her hand.
“Free, I’m grown. I shouldn’t have you paying my rent especially when you have my niece and nephew. Your priority should be them, not your grown ass sister.” She sighed. “I’m happy staying at Priest’s house. I’m working on my business plan for the tutoring center and just putting my energy all into me.”
“About time,” we both turned and saw Liberty standing there. She plopped down next to Justice and slumped back in the seat. “I came since you wanted to throw threats.”
“You know it was time for us all to sit and talk,” Justice removed her hair out of her face. “We’ve missed you.”
“Missed y’all too,” she warmed up.
The waitress came and put more bread on the table, took our drink and food order, then quickly went to put the orders in. “You care to fill me in on your son? Why did I have to find out that way? We tell each other everything… Me and Justice are hurt.” I saw Justice’s face and knew I had been the only one who wasn’t put on to what had been going on. “You knew?”
“Free, I told her she needed to tell you and mommy. She refused so I stepped back and decided to mind my business.”
“You’ve met him?”
“Once when he was a baby, Free. What is with the twenty questions?” Liberty smacked her lips and took a sip of the water that was provided. “I didn’t tell you guys because I was ashamed, embarrassed and didn’t want any of you judging me.”
“Wow. If you don’t know me by now, then I don’t know what to tell you. When would I have judged you? I love you and just want the best for you. If you would have told me I would have been there for you like you have been there for me.”
“Chance has down syndrome. I blame myself because I smoked through his pregnancy. I should have stopped, but I couldn’t.”
“You don’t know that, Liberty.”
“I’ve been smoking since I was sixteen, Justice. I basically have the side of the cigarette carton memorized. Smoking or drinking while pregnant causes birth defects and I was smoking like I didn’t have a life inside of me. I’m the reason my son has down syndrome and don’t tell me otherwise.” She looked at both me and Justice.
“When can we meet him?”
“Why do we have to do all of this?”
“You just fucking told me that I have a nephew and you don’t think I want to meet him?” I raised my voice slightly. When people started to stare, I lowered my voice, but continued to keep my eyes on my twin.
“For what, Free? So, you could go and compare your perfect set of twins to my fucked-up child? Why do you need to meet him?” she blurted, and I was taken back.
“Don’t say that, Liberty. Free isn’t even like that.”
“You know what, fuck the both of y’all. I need to get the fuck out of here, I’m fucking hot and tired of this conversation anyway.” She stood up. “Neither of you better mention shit to mommy either,” she replied as she walked out the restaurant.
“Something isn’t right with her.” Justice took the words right out of my mouth. “She seems real agitated and off.” She continued.
I didn’t need to reply because I pulled my phone out and dialed Staten’s number. He had to be the reason for the shift in her mood. He answered just when I was about to end the call. “What’s good?”
“You did something to my sister?”
“The fuck you talking about? You fucking my brother not me, so don’t call my jack going off about my girl,” he scolded. “The fuck you talking about anyway?”
“Liberty seems real different and I know it has to be you that did it. Did Chanel do something to her… what’s going on?” This woman sitting in front of me wasn’t my sister and it scared the shit out of me.
“Stop fucking going off on me. Your sister is a damn coke head and she needs a hit. You blaming me for something that I stumbled into,” his words hit me like a ton of bricks. He was so loud that Justice heard him from across the table.
“Liberty smokes cigarettes… she don’t do no damn coke,” I argued.
“Okay, so maybe I got shit wrong. She’s shoving old mash potatoes up her fucking nose then,” he barked. “You could sit here going back and forth with me or we can both help her.”
“I can handle it. I don’t need you,” I shot back.
“Damn, Liberty is on coke and you’re doing crack… shit.”
“Staten, what are you talking about?” I was so confused.
“You must be smoking fucking crack if you think I’m not going to help my girl get the help she needs. She running around here on fucking edge, you think I want that shit for her?”
“Whatever. What should we do?”
“I found this rehab in Jersey. It’s real nice and shit and they helped a lot of celebrities. I got her in and it’s for one month. If she needs more time that can be added, but the counselors told me all she needed was one month to detox.”
“Okay, how much? I can pay for it.”
“Free, I’m trying real hard not to curse yo ass out. We’re not focused on the fucking financial part. Even when we do, it’s nothing for me to drop the bread to make sure she’s good. I just need you to be on board because she’s not going to go quietly.”
“Whatever needs to be done, we’ll do it. Let me know when you want to do it,” I told him.
“Bet.” He replied and ended the call. I knew I wouldn’t be able to think about anything except my sister. Me and Justice continued lunch and tried to keep our mind off Liberty.
After I finished lunch, I tagged along with my assistant to some client’s homes. We were checking in on the progress of what was being done. It felt good getting my feet wet back into the design world. Interior design was my entire life and passion. When I was sad it made me happy, when I was happy, it made me rich. With how long it took me to build this company, I’d be damn if I let it take the back seat. When I finished tagging along and making sure things were running how it was supposed to, I headed home. When I entered the house, the sneakers and backpacks that littered the foyer wasn’t there and it smelled like food. The smell of the food caused me to float all the way to the kitchen where Marisol was cooking. When she saw me, she rolled her eyes and continu
ed to cook like I hadn’t entered the kitchen.
“Hey,” I dryly greeted and went into the fridge to grab some water. “It smells good, what are you making?”
“Fried chicken, rice, beans and plantains,” she replied back.
Being that she was here at seven at night when I hadn’t seen her for the past few days, I knew Ghost had gotten in her ass and she wasn’t happy about it. “Sounds good. The kids did their homework?”
“Uh huh.”
“Marisol, if you have an issue with me you can just say something.”
“I had to put up with that bitch Shakira always on my ass and trying to get G to fire me. Now, I have to deal with you moving into her home doing the same thing. I do have a life and things I’m dealing with.”
“First of all, I don’t want to get you fired. If you have family issues going on, that’s fine. However, you shouldn’t be paid when I’m doing your damn job or having to consider hiring someone to do it. G treats you like family and that’s fine, but it becomes an issue when you’re taking his kindness for weakness.” I turned and left out of the kitchen.
I found the kids in their bedrooms watching TV until dinner was ready. Rain and Somali ran to hug me when they noticed me standing at the bedroom door. “Hey girls, how was school?”
“Tiring. I’m just glad to be home.” Somali swung her long tresses over her shoulders. She reminded me so much of myself whenever she did that.
“Fun! We made slime for science,” Rain smiled as she informed me. I rubbed her curly hair and smiled at her.
“I’m glad you girls had a good day. Go wash up for dinner, okay? Somali, help Rain too.” I told her and she nodded her head.
“Okay, Mom.”
I headed down the hall and found Ghost and Samaj playing video games in his bedroom. The rooms weren’t decorated the way the kids wanted, but they would have to do for now. Both Somali and Samaj were staying in the guest rooms for now and Rain slept with Somali.
“Hey guys,” I spoke, and Ghost looked up at me and smirked when he laid his eyes on me. “I see you got Marisol to come into work.”
“She said she was having personal issues and she apologized and said it wouldn’t happen anymore. I’m going to make shit easier on you, I told you that I would.”
“Explains why she gave me attitude when I came in.”
“Damn, every woman that takes over this crib got a problem with Marisol,” he chuckled, but I wasn’t joking. Marisol had said exactly what I had been feeling since coming to stay here.
“We need to talk about living here.”
“What we need to talk about?” Samaj was so into the game he wasn’t paying our conversation any attention.
“I don’t want to live here anymore.”
He looked hurt. “You sa—”
“I don’t want to live under this woman’s roof anymore. I don’t give a damn who owns the house, it was her home first.” I stormed out the room.
He followed me into the master suite as I tossed my heels onto the floor and sat down on the couch. “Ma, if you want to move then we can move. It’s not a problem.”
“I think I want to move back down to Atlanta, Gyson.”
It was something that I had been thinking about for a while. Maybe moving back home wasn’t for me. There was a reason I left home in the first place. Since being back home so many things had transpired that I just wanted to get my kids the hell off this island and back to Atlanta. I also knew that it would hurt Ghost and he would never allow it to happen. I felt like we were sitting ducks waiting to be plucked off sooner or later. Nobody wanted to live their life like that and that wasn’t a life I wanted for my children. Hell, part of me wanted to take Rain too because she didn’t need to live a life like that either.
“Atlanta? You can’t take my kids from me again. What about me and Rain? Fuck us?”
I touched his face because I could see that he was hurt by what I had just revealed to him. “Doesn’t have to be that way. You and Rain can come with us. Babe, we can get us a big ass house down there and start over. My business is down there, and the kids miss home too. I don’t feel safe anymore and Atlanta means safety to me.”
He sat down beside me for a second before he spoke. I knew it was a lot to throw on him, but I missed being in Atlanta. This morning I was excited about building an expansion in New York and now I wasn’t. All I wanted was to get on a plane and head back to where it was safe for me and my children.
“Rain would love it. The schools are amazing, babe. She needs something new, the both of you do. You don’t even allow her inside of her old bedroom because it hurts you too much. You have many good memories in this home, I’m sure. But, it’s painful for you to live in the house where Summer is just a memory. I see it on your face, you don’t have to tell me.”
“We can do it.”
“Is this a joke? Are you serious?”
“Nah, maybe it is time for me to move out of New York. I’ve been thinking about leaving the game a lot since Summer passed.”
“Seriously? Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
“Cause it was a thought. I figured it would pass, but it hasn’t. If you want to move back to Georgia, I’m down. I know I don’t want to lose you or my kids again. I don’t want to break Rain’s heart losing Somali.” I straddled him and kissed him on the lips. He held my face and kissed me again before I looked away. “What’s wrong now?”
“I’m pregnant, Gyson.”
“You serious?”
“Yes.”
He held onto my waist as he kissed me on the lips. They were deep and long passion filled kisses. “Damn, I feel like God blessed us with this baby on purpose.”
“Gyson, I don’t know who the father is,” I admitted. I was taking Justice’s advice and if it didn’t work, I was gonna beat her ass. “Me and Zoe hooked up once more before me and you did. I didn’t plan on me and you fucking in Jamaica.”
I studied his face. He didn’t look hurt, but his excitement had left his face. “Damn.”
“We can do a DNA test before the baby is born. I just want you to know. I know I’ll love this baby because it’s mine, but I don’t want you to feel ob—”
“Like my Summer was, that baby is innocent. If it’s Zoe’s baby or mine, I’m going to raise that baby he’s mine… just like you do with Rain.”
“He, huh?”
“Hell yeah, we outnumbered in here… we need a boy.” He laughed. “On the real, we can do the test when the baby is born. We don’t need to rush and do it now, ight?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being there for me. I love you for it even more. I was scared to tell you.”
“I’m glad you did, and I didn’t have to find out from someone else. Keep it real with me and I’ll do the same. If we do that, we’ll both be good.”
“Okay,” I smiled and kissed him. I sat on his lap as we talked about our move. There was a lot for us to wrap up before we could move but knowing that he was down with the move made me feel that much more excited for our new start. I just needed to make sure both my sisters were good with this before I went back to Georgia – especially Liberty.
7
Ghost
All night I tossed and turned thinking about what Freedom had told me. Pregnant. I wasn’t expecting her to hit me with that. Then she tossed in wanting to move back to Georgia. At first, I was fucked up in the head because she wanted to leave and take my kids from me again. Rain had gotten so comfortable with Samaj and Somali that it would fuck with her. I was trying hard to make shit work and make sure my baby didn’t have to feel the pain I felt every day when I thought about Summer. I knew she would always wonder why her sister died and I would eventually have to have that conversation with her when she grew older. Yet, right now I didn’t want to have that conversation with her. I wanted Rain to remain an innocent child for as long as I could keep her one. One day she was going to grow up and want to take on the world with
out my guidance. It was kind of what Priest was going through right now. He raised Kiss like his own daughter and only wanted the best for her. My worst fear is having Rain grow up and resent me for the death of her little sister. The pain from losing Summer was enough, but the pain from having Rain hate me and blame me for it was too much to bare as a father. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to mourn the death of my daughter. Our kids were supposed to bury us, not the other way around.
Free had got up early to go over to her mother’s house so it was just me and the kids in the house. Marisol was running late, so I fixed them breakfast and helped them clean up their toys in the sitting area. Marisol had been on some shit lately and after my text she finally showed her ass up to work yesterday. As much as I tried to ignore Free’s complaints, the proof was right there. I knew she was pregnant with Priest’s seed and shit, so she was going through some shit, but that didn’t mean she could slack off on some of the shit that I needed her to do. If she couldn’t do the job, she needed to let me know so I could hire someone that could do her job. I climbed the stairs and entered the bathroom where I poured more bleach into the toilet. The way Free was throwing up this morning, it was like she was possessed. I had hopped up to piss real quick and she was kneeled over the toilet emptying her guts. I held her hair and did my part, but it was then that everything hit me; she was really pregnant.
What if the baby ended up being Zoe’s baby? Could I love a baby that had the same blood of the man that was responsible for taking my daughter’s life? I knew it wasn’t the baby’s fault, but my feelings wouldn’t let me ignore it. On the bright side, it could be my baby and lord knows I was praying for it to be. It was like we were getting a second chance to raise a child together. I would be able to experience those pregnancy cravings and mood swings. I would be there to see my baby take its first steps. For some reason I felt like it was Summer blessing us with a piece of her. I never saw myself leaving Staten island. I mean, why? This was home and it would always be. I had too many memories scattered around this island to leave. Hearing how Free craved to go back made me want to experience what she had. I overheard the twins talking about home and it made me sad for them. In reality, Staten Island wasn’t their home, Georgia was. The truth was that me and Rain needed a new beginning. Shakira was nowhere to be found and I don’t think she would give a fuck if we picked up and left. How could a mother just disappear on their child? She didn’t call or say shit, she just got her shit and dipped.