by Jahquel J
“That’s your sister, you can go take her home. I’m fine, Justice.” She sniffled and wiped away her tears.
Taking her hand, I led her over to the couch. “No, I’m gonna stay here for however long that I need to stay. You fucked up, but I love you and I’m not writing you off.” I hugged her tightly. “We’re family and yes we will go through things, but we’re forever.”
“I love you, Jus,” she said as she laid her head on my shoulder. My head turned and I saw Free walking back into the apartment. She sat on the couch, leaving Myla in the middle.
“I’m so angry with you, but I love you.” She hugged her. “It’s going to take me some time to get over what you did, but don’t ever think that I don’t love you, loco,” she cracked a smile and Myla laughed.
Myla went through this stage of transition when she hung out with these Puerto Rican girls. She spoke like them and everything. We celebrated when she stopped hanging with them and stopped calling us loco.
“I love you girls too.” She hugged us both. “I wish Libby was here.”
“She’ll be home soon.” I smiled. Because I knew how lonely my cousin could get, I kept in contact and told her everything that had been going on. “In the meantime, you need to pull your life together and move on with life. Zoe is dead, not you. You have a life, sweetheart and you need to live it.”
“Yeah, and air this place out. Smells like corn chips and vodka,” Free scrunched her face up. We all laughed and hugged again. I knew it would take a lot for Free and Myla to get back to where they once were, but I knew with time that they could.
12
One month later…
Free
I laid in bed thinking about everything that was going on in my life. Here I was pregnant with another baby, moving back to Georgia, trying to raise three kids, and running my business. It was a lot at times, still I was blessed to have something to keep me busy. Ghost had been trying to handle everything before we moved. Since the kids were in school, we decided to let them finish out the school year and then move back over the summer. I didn’t mind staying a little bit longer since I would miss my sisters and mother. My mother hated that I was moving back. She didn’t understand my reasoning. Georgia was my babies’ home. They had been born and raised there and loved everything about their hometown. As much as they loved being in New York, I could tell this wasn’t home for them like it had been for me. As a mother, I couldn’t do what I wanted, I had to do what was best for them. Samaj wasn’t making as many new friends as I thought he would when we moved in with Ghost. His only friend he had was the one in our old neighborhood and he went to a different school.
Then, with the shooting happening his mother didn’t want him playing with Samaj. I was crushed when I found that out and wanted to beat that woman’s ass. Then, I thought about how I would feel if one of Samaj’s friends’ houses was shot up. I wouldn’t want him going over there either. Somali had her little friends in school, but she hated her dance class. As much as I tried to push it on her, she didn’t like it. Staten Island wasn’t big on dance like Georgia. There were dance teams galore in Georgia. In Staten Island there were a few, but they were all cliqued up, so I stayed away so I didn’t beat anybody’s ass behind my daughter. It took a lot for me to see that my children were missing home. And, because my kids were so awesome, they hid how they felt for the sake of me. With Ghost and Rain moving to Georgia with us; this time it was going to be different. Here was a man that was used to corner stores, heroes, and a good trip to BBQ Dallas in Brooklyn when he was in the mood. Georgia would be an adjustment for him, and I couldn’t wait to see it.
“You lying in bed like you don’t have to go and get your sister,” Ghost came in the room with shaving cream on his face. “What time is she being released out of there?”
“It’s not a damn prison, Gyson. She can leave whenever, but she’s waiting for me and Justice to go and pick her up.”
“Damn, I thought it was times and shit. What time are you leaving?”
“I’m supposed to leave in an hour.”
“You mean six hours? You not gonna be done in no damn hour,” he called me out. As much as I couldn’t stand him right now, he was right. If I didn’t climb out of this bed right now, I wasn’t going to make it.
“Shut up and mind your business. What are you doing today?” I walked past him and went into the bathroom.
“Gonna take the kids to school and then go and spend some time with moms. You know she pissed about us moving, right?” He turned his attention to me. “Oh, you saw my toothbrush? I had to grab me a new one from the hall closet,” he questioned.
“No, it’s usually next to mine,” I replied. “And, everybody is pissed. My mama told me she’s gonna keep the kids and me and you could move.”
“Damn, and I thought Lolita actually liked me,” he chuckled. “On the real, you sure about this decision?”
“For my kids, yes. The twins miss home, and I don’t want them to resent me because I chose to pull them from their home.”
“I feel you.”
My face grew serious and I looked over at him as he shaved. “How are you doing? You know, with the whole Shakira shit?”
He sighed and continued to shave. “I’m good.”
“You’re not good. I hear you mumbling in your sleep.”
“Free, do you think I’ll sleep good after I murdered my daughter’s mother? If Rain ever found out about that shit…” he allowed his voice to trail off. “She would hate me for the rest of her life. Shakira wasn’t shit as a mother, but that’s not what she will remember about her mother. I couldn’t stand Shakira, but I didn’t want her dead. And I damn sure didn’t want to be the one that pulled the trigger.”
I hugged him from behind and laid my head onto his back. “Think about all that you’ve said. So much blood has been shed and so many families have lost their loves ones. How do you think Kiss feels about Zoe?”
“Fuck that nigga. She was better off without his shit head ass.”
“You can’t say that babe. Just like Rain would feel if she ever found out about you killing her mother, how do you think Zamari might feel? Put your hate that you have for Zeek and Zoe aside and think of the families. Their mother lost all three of her children back to back. Imagine Mama Rae having to do that?”
“I’m not even imagining that shit because it will never happen. We move way too smart to even get caught up like that. I get you want me to sympathize with them, but they took my baby girl. Her life was ended prematurely because these niggas were in their feelings. As much as you want me to see things their way, I’m not. Fuck em.” He used his warm wash cloth and wiped the remaining of the shaving cream off his face.
“I tried,” I sighed and started to get myself together.
“Yeah, and I appreciate you for that. I’m just not ready to give a fuck about their mother or their lives that were lost.” He added and headed out the bathroom.
Once I finished getting myself together to meet Justice, I went to go peek in on the kids. Somali was giving Ghost a hard time with her hair. She always seemed to give him a hard time when it was his morning to get them ready. She was becoming a little lady and her hair had to be right. Samaj was sitting at the counter with Rain eating their breakfast.
“Somali, you better hurry up out that bathroom. I’m not letting you make us late,” he knocked on her door once more before he came down.
“I can’t wait until this little one puts you through it too.”
“I’m gonna have more damn gray hair.” He grabbed a mug and poured him some coffee. I kissed the kids and headed off to pick Justice up.
When I thought about Justice and Priest, I smiled. I was so happy that she found someone to love the hell out of her. That man loved every little thing about Justice. He acted like it was a privilege being with her and not the other way around, like how Todd acted. I was so happy that they were building a life together. Justice and my mom were still in this weird place and I kn
ew it would be like that for a while. Neither of them wanted to take the step to try and repair their relationship. When we drove to the rehab to meet Liberty and Staten the day she was admitted, they argued about the smallest shit. It was clear that there were some deep-rooted issues and they both were avoiding sitting down to talk about them. When I pulled up to the house, Justice was already waiting outside.
“You’re almost always late,” she got into the car and buckled her seat belt. “You excited?” she asked with a big smile on her face.
“I’m so excited. I’ve missed the hell out of her, and she’s been gone a month. You think she’ll be different?”
“Not much can change Lib, but I’m excited that she’s sober. This is just the beginning of her journey.”
“Yep. You think she’ll talk to Staten? She was so hurt that he tricked her like that.” Staten was selfish, rude and didn’t give a fuck about anybody. With Liberty, he was a different person. When I saw tears fall down his cheeks when she screamed that she hated him, I knew that he was in love with her. He could have ignored that she doing drugs and continued with his life, but he made it his mission to make sure that Liberty got clean.
“She was upset, and I understand why, but I don’t see her being mad at him. As much as it hurt him, he did what he had to do.”
“Yeah. I don’t want her to push him away because his feelings are deep for Liberty. He doesn’t even know that she’s getting out today.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh. Liberty didn’t want anyone to know. Mommy doesn’t even know,” I added. Liberty told me that she wanted her release to be a surprise. The only reason Justice knew was because I didn’t want to drive alone.
“Wow.” She took a sip of her water. “I’m pregnant,” she announced, and I looked at her shocked as hell.
“Are you joking or are you serious?”
“No, I’m serious.”
“Whaaaaaaaaat? Why didn’t you tell me!” I squealed.
“Bitch, I just told you.” She laughed.
“Oh yeah, sorry I’m just so excited. How does Priest feel?”
“He’s excited as hell. He prays over my stomach every night and morning. You know my history, Free. I’m honestly scared shitless.”
“We’re going to be bump buddies,” I smiled. “I know what happened with your past pregnancies, but you were with an evil soul. That pregnancy hits different when you’re with someone who has a beautiful spirit. Priest has a beautiful spirit and aura around him. The way he loves his nieces, loves you and is still able to be this street nigga is amazing. Don’t think about it,” I told her. She couldn’t let her past interfere with her future. God blessed her with a baby for a reason. Justice didn’t need to question why, all she needed to do was embrace the blessing that was given to her.
“Thanks, Free.”
“Always. I spoke with Myla the other day.” I switched subjects. As much as I hated what Myla did, she was my cousin. I couldn’t turn my back on her. We had so much to work through before we were back to how we used to be, but I called to check on her every couple of days. My life would never be the same if something happened to my cousin. As much as I disliked her right now, I knew that we were all the family she had.
We pulled into the gates of the rehab and killed the engine. Each time I visited Liberty, I would bring her something up. She had a bunch of books by Trenae, Treasure Mailan and Quiana Nicole. Even though Staten was blocked from coming to see her, that didn’t stop him from sending her books from Urban Chapters Publications. Liberty loved to read and spent hours doing it. I knew with her downtime that she had probably finished all of those books I brought, and Staten had shipped to her. We signed our names on the iPad and went to the sitting area and waited for her to come.
“I’m so excited for her to be home. Thank God Liberty never took off from work. She was able to use a bunch of sick and personal time from work,” Justice said as she held my hand.
“She works too damn much. I bet she gets back to work and racks those days up in a week,” we both laughed. Liberty loved to work, and everyone knew that.
Fifteen minutes passed before we saw her get off the elevator with her bags. Me and Justice left our purses on the chair and ran over to her. “Sisssyyyyy!” we both screamed and jumped all over her. People in the lobby looked at us weird and we didn’t give a shit.
“Bitches!” Liberty yelled and we embraced each other in the lobby for a minute too long. “I got my walking papers out of this bitch.” She waved the papers in her hands.
Everything about her seemed different. I could tell from her body that she had put on a little weight. Still, it looked good on her. Her face was slightly chubbier too. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she had not one lick of make-up on her face.
“You ready to get out of here?” Justice asked.
“Bitch yes. I’m ready to never see this place again,” she picked up one of the bags she brought down. Me and Justice grabbed the others and our purses before we left.
While speeding out of the gates, Liberty took the band off her wrist and let it fly through the air. “Where do you want to go and eat?”
“Honestly… I just want to go and see my son,” she admitted. “Take me to see my son, Free.”
I nodded my head and put the address she gave me into my GPS and headed to my aunt Betty’s house. I hadn’t seen my aunt Betty in years. During the whole shit with her and Myla, I chose Myla’s side and stopped fucking with my aunt. How did you disown your own child? It was one thing to think that way and then come around later on, but Betty acted as if Myla didn’t exist.
“I have to be honest, Lib. I’m nervous to meet him,” I admitted.
She smiled. “He’s so sweet. I missed him so much when I was in that place. He’s all I want to see right now.”
“What about Staten?”
“Him too, but he can wait.”
“Oh, so you’re done being mad at him?” I giggled. “I’m glad. He’s a good look for you,” I made sure to add.
“He lied to me, but I know he did it because I needed the help. When I was in there going through therapy, I learned so much about myself. Instead of discussing shit, I self-medicated so I don’t have to deal with the issues.”
“Damn,” Justice said from the back.
“Yeah. I had so much shit on my shoulders that I was trying to forget about it all. All I ended up doing was fucking my life up. I almost lost my career because of that shit, man. I still have cravings and I’m gonna be dealing with this shit for a while, but I’m gonna keep going to therapy. I gotta be here for my family.”
“We’re so proud of you and love you so much.” I rubbed her hand as we continued to drive.
It took us two hours to make it to my aunt Betty’s house. I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t nervous to come face to face with my aunt after all these years. Then, adding my nephew on top of that and I was fucking terrified. What if he hated us? I understood how Ghost felt about me hiding the twins. Liberty robbed us of time with our nephew by keeping him hidden. I couldn’t fault her for her past. All we could do is make new memories as a family. Liberty knocked on the door and me and Justice stood by the car. The door opened and our aunt Betty pulled Liberty into a hug. It was so crazy how much she and my mother looked just alike.
“I’m glad they got that devil’s juice out of you,” she said as she continued to hug all over Liberty.
“Devil juice?” Justice whispered. “Now she just making shit up,” I stifled my laugh and looked at the two embracing. Betty looked over toward us and stopped hugging Justice.
“I haven’t seen you girls in years… come over here and give me a damn hug,” she clapped her hands and hugged both me and Justice so tightly. “I hate everything between me and my son pulled us apart.”
I wanted to correct her, but I chose to keep my mouth shut. Right now wasn’t the time for me to correct her about Myla. The goal was to meet Chance and that was all my mind was on. We
walked into the house and I was impressed by the size of the place. I knew the house she used to live in was small and was in the hood.
“Hey Aunt Betty,” Justice smiled and continued to hug her. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Getting by and praising my Jesus, that’s all I can do.”
“Amen,” I added.
“Where’s my baby?” Liberty was anxious.
“You really must have missed him because you’re never this anxious to see him.” She chuckled. “Chancy-poo come here!” Betty yelled. “I’m gonna fix us some food. Come in and make yourself comfortable.”
We took our coats off and sat in the living room. A little boy came around the couch and saw Liberty. His face lit up and he ran right over and hugged her tightly. I smiled because he was Liberty’s twin. Not an ounce of Pook was in that boy. He hugged her around the waist and Liberty played with his ears as she stared down at her.
“I’ve missed you so much Chancy.”
“Why did you go away?” he asked.
“Mommy had to get better. I was very sick and needed to get better,” she explained the best way she could.
“Are you still sick?”
“A little, but I’m well enough to come and spend some time with you,” she giggled as she tickled him. “I want you to meet my sisters, your aunts.”
It was then that he had noticed that we were sitting there. Wiping tears away, I looked at my nephew. “Hi Chance, I’m Free.”