by Elle Linder
Why didn’t she jump for joy? Didn’t she want grandchildren? Julia’s heart quickened as her mom’s demeanor hardened.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
“We should get ready for dinner.” Donna patted her shoulder. “We’ll talk more later.”
“Are you deflecting?” Julia stared at her, stunned.
“I guess I am.” Donna shrugged, stepping into the bathroom.
What the hell?
From her vantage point on the deck at the back of the lake house, the falls were mesmerizing, but Donna’s deflection remained at the forefront of Julia’s mind, leaving her unnerved and, oddly, scared.
She had dropped the discussion after Donna reappeared from the bathroom to keep the peace. Having a heated discussion before dinner would not bode well with her mom. Julia knew her hardened stare well. It said, Not now. We’ll talk later.
Did she want to know the cause of her mom’s sudden mood change? Her avoidance of a discussion before dinner raised the hairs on Julia’s nape. It must be bad. But did she really want to know, three days before the wedding, what it was about?
Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, and Luke’s lips were on her temple. Then they moved down to the shell of her ear, where his soft hums vibrated through her. But those wonderful, tingly sparks didn’t rouse her the way they had hundreds of other times.
“Why’s my girl out here alone?”
She melted into him, but the sting of tears kept her from answering his question. All evening she had tried to decipher Donna’s weird behavior. Nothing else had mattered or been able to distract her. Not Brice’s giggles while playing poker with Rick or Heather’s retelling of the harvest festival last weekend, which revolved around a super cute high school junior named Thad.
Julia couldn’t focus on anything other than her mother’s refusal to talk about…grandchildren?
She lifted her glass of wine off the railing and took a hearty gulp.
“It’s not good to drink alone,” Luke said, kissing her neck. He rocked her gently, his body molded to hers.
“I suppose you’d know,” she mumbled. Luke turned her around, cupping her cheeks, a stern look in his eyes. “What?”
“Normally I like your sassy smart-mouth…a lot, actually. But, baby, you sound depressed… Worse, you look sad. What happened?”
“I’m just thinking.”
“’Bout what?”
“Stuff. My mom…our future.”
His razor-sharp stare made her shift nervously as his grip on her face tightened. “Our future?”
“Julia?” Donna’s voice made her stiffen. Luke released her face, snaking his arm around her waist protectively as if on alert. “I was looking for you. When did you want to head back to the resort?”
“Umm…”
“I’ll take her back later,” Luke answered for Julia. His gruff tone toward her mom lit a wildfire inside Julia. “You can take her car.”
“No, I’ll take her,” Julia said, elbowing him. He gripped her waist tighter.
A few beats of silence passed, and then Luke spoke the words she knew were swimming through his head. “We need to talk,” he whispered.
Julia took his hand. The look in his eyes was unyielding.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pecked him on the lips as she attempted to pull back from him, but he wouldn’t release her hand. “Luke.”
“Donna, wait inside for Julia. We need a minute.” She nodded, leaving them.
“How could you do that?” She jerked her hand out of his.
“Julia—”
“No! You didn’t even ask her or say please. You ordered her. Ordered her!” He pinched his brows together. “This isn’t the Marines! Stop being so damn bossy and stubborn! Let me decide what’s right for me! It’s my life after all. Or is that too difficult for a controlling man like you? I know what I want and when I want it, and I don’t need you or my mo—” She gasped, covering her mouth.
“Continue.” He cocked his head down at her, dark eyes boring into her.
Tears cascaded over her eyes and down her cheeks like a flash flood. Luke stared at her, concern and love in his eyes. “Oh, God! I’m so sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close, and cried on his shoulder.
Luke stayed silent, holding her firmly against him. If Julia could have crawled inside the safety of his body, she would have. But for now, all she could do was bury her face in the crook of his neck and breathe in his comforting musk.
“I’m sorry for blowing up at you.” She sniffled. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“No worries, baby. I knew it wasn’t directed at me.”
“Is that right? Because you never make me angry?”
“No, I can piss you off real good, but not this time. The second I touched you, I sensed you were off and it had nothing to do with me. Thankfully.” He kissed the top of her head.
“You’re a remarkable man.” She nestled her fingers in his hair, pulling his face toward hers. “Kiss me.” As Luke obliged, her mind raced.
Should she tell him her worries about her mom possibly not wanting grandkids, even if she wasn’t certain that’s what all the weirdness was about? Wouldn’t it hurt his feelings? She couldn’t. She wouldn’t hurt him days before their wedding.
Luke slowed the kiss, nibbling on her lips. “Tell me what happened with your mom.”
“It’s just mother-daughter stuff.” She pulled back. “And I should go. She’s waiting.”
“I’m worried about you.” His tender gaze reached right into her heart, caressing every inch of it. “Stay with me, Julia, and I’ll drive you back later. Maybe she’s just tired.”
“I love you.” She pinched the tip of his chin, giving it a little tug. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay. If you need me, call me. It doesn’t matter what time it is.”
She smiled up at him, studying the gentle slope of his brows and the dark depths that only sparkled for her. “You’re so good to me.”
“We’re good to each other.” He hugged her. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
“Mmm, I can’t wait to make you my husband…Mr. Lumberjack.” She held onto him a little tighter.
Why had she thought it would be good for them to be apart for three nights?
“As much as I don’t want to let you go, I will. I don’t want my soon-to-be mother-in-law upset with me.”
“Thank you for not tempting me. You have a mystical lure over me, y’know?”
“Yeah? Good to know I can control you with my charm and sex appeal.”
He most certainly could control her. More than she could overpower his ironclad self-restraint. And it didn’t bother her one bit. Luke loved her deeply, passionately, and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her.
“You are the most charming man, with an exorbitant amount of sex appeal.” Her words flowed out in a sultry, breathy voice that she hadn’t meant to use, knowing how it turned Luke on. It was just how they were with each other. Part of the dynamic that made them Luke and Julia.
He chuckled low in his throat, shaking his head. “How am I supposed to let you go when you’re so damn irresistible?”
“It’s just three nights, and you are the strongest man I know.” She pressed her lips to his firmly so not to stir them both up further. “I should go. She’s waiting.”
Julia slipped out of his embrace, but Luke grabbed onto the tips of her fingers. The adoration in his eyes as he lifted her hand to his lips stole her breath away.
“Three nights. Good night, my love.”
three
More Deflection
In the car ride to the resort, Donna was quiet once again. Every breath she took grated on Julia’s nerves. What was she thinking, and why wasn’t she talking to her? Normally, her mom wasn’t so quiet.
All the Godfrey women were opinionated and honest, to a fault sometimes. But never did they cower away from speaking their mind, especially to each other. The
way her mom had been behaving left Julia utterly perplexed.
Julia held the door open to her suite, 214, letting Donna enter first. After bolting the door, Julia leaned against it, taking a few seconds for herself.
Walking a little farther into the room, she stopped, frozen in place. Her mom was seated on the love seat as if waiting for her. Julia put down her handbag on the desk and joined her, stomach twisting into a tight ball of nerves, anxious to hear whatever was on her mom’s mind.
“Mom, I can’t take this silence anymore.”
“I know, honey, I know. I guess I just thought I’d have more time to prepare for this conversation. Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised that you want to have a baby with Luke…your soon-to-be husband.” Donna smiled, but her eyes were sad.
“Mom, please. Just blurt out whatever you’re struggling to tell me. Please. My mind has been racing all evening, and that’s never a good thing.” Julia took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Is it your health?”
The possibility of cancer had entered her mind several times, but she wouldn’t let herself go there. Please not cancer.
“My health is fine, honey.”
Julia exhaled, dropping her head, thankful to the powers that be.
“Then what is it? Why do I get the distinct feeling you don’t want grandkids?”
“Oh, my darling, that’s not it at all. I would love having grandkids. On Saturday, I’ll become a grandma to two, and I’m looking forward to it. Even more, I long for you and Luke to have a baby of your own.”
Then why on earth was there sadness in her mother’s eyes? Why the deflection? None of this made sense.
“You’re confusing me. You say you want grandchildren, but I don’t see joy in your eyes. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I just want you to decide when you’re ready to be a mother. Don’t let Luke decide for you.” Julia shook her head. Luke would never force her to do anything, but she appreciated her mom’s warning. “Now hear me out, before you say, I do.”
Julia pressed her lips tightly together and nodded.
The serious tone in her mom’s voice concerned her. There also seemed to be some trepidation. More than anything, Julia wanted to hear her mom’s thoughts—to know what was in her heart. Unlike her sisters, Donna held her tongue frequently. She was the quietest Godfrey sister, whereas Becky was the loudest and Diana the most opinionated. Donna could be both but rarely ever was, and that was a trait Julia respected most about her mom: the ability to control her mouth. Julia had copied her when she was a young girl and now as a woman aimed to be like her in as many ways as possible.
Although holding her tongue was Julia’s greatest challenge.
“I know you love him.” Donna pulled her out of her thoughts.
“I do. With all my heart.”
“And that’s why I don’t want you to be so hasty when it comes to having a baby. Don’t let Luke rush you. You already have a lot on your plate with running the resort and having his kids full-time.” Donna’s gaze dropped to her lap.
Renee’s arrest was still fresh in everybody’s mind. The kids would be with Julia and Luke indefinitely. By the time Renee was released, even for good behavior, Heather would be an adult and Brice would be well into his teens. With one drug-induced act, Renee had sealed her fate when she stabbed Rick, separating herself from all her children. Julia’s heart ached for all three of the kids, but for Izzy most, who would grow up not really knowing her mother.
“Julia.” Donna shook her hand, waking her from her thoughts again. “You’re already a mother to Luke’s kids, and you’re doing a wonderful job. I never doubted you’d make a terrific mom. But get your bearings with being a wife and mother before getting pregnant. Just a little time, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I went off the pill in August,” Julia blurted out, hoping to end this line of discussion. There would be no waiting. Julia wanted a baby now.
Donna gasped. “You did?”
Judging by the look on her mom’s face, maybe she should have not been so blunt. Julia darted her eyes away from Donna’s surprised expression. “I’m not getting any younger, and Luke really isn’t getting any younger.” She laughed awkwardly, but Donna remained silent. “Mom, what gives? I don’t understand where all this is coming from. You’ve never told me how to live my life.”
“And I’m not going to start now. I trust that you’ll make the best decision for you and your family. I just don’t want you to get lost in the mix.”
“Lost in the mix? But Renee can’t cause trouble anymore. I have Luke all to myself now. I won’t have to worry about him running off to Alaska or taking calls in the middle of the night. He’s all mine!”
Julia gripped her stomach with the weight of her declaration. It felt more like she was trying to convince herself than Donna. Tears rapidly formed in her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall.
“Exactly, darling. He’s all yours, and his kids will need you as they deal with the loss of their mother.” Donna inhaled deeply, squeezing Julia’s hand. “Don’t try to mask everyone’s pain with a baby. Let them adjust. Don’t put a Band-Aid on a person’s feelings. A baby is a big deal. I want it to be a big deal for you when it happens.”
“Well, shit! This isn’t at all how I saw this conversation going.” Julia inhaled, blinking forcefully to hold back tears. Had she been a fool to think that Renee being in jail would put an end to her meddling and manipulation?
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t brought it up. I don’t get a lot of moments like this with you. And over the phone is so impersonal.”
“So what do I do?” Just asking the question made her want to throw up. “It’s my life, y’know? My damn life! But you seem to think Renee is going to be a problem, don’t you? Your weird behavior was all about Renee? How can she be your focus when I’m the one getting married in three days? I’m your daughter. Renee shouldn’t even be on your radar. Only me!”
“Honey—”
“No, I don’t understand any of this. I have everything under control. I have Erika taking on more of my responsibilities so I can be home with Luke and the kids. We have our new house we’ll move into next month. I’ve created a routine for the kids, and they’re thriving. Luke and I are a team. A team, Mom. Just like you and Dad were. Having a baby wouldn’t be a burden or add to my stress! A baby would be a wonderful, beautiful addition to our family. Not some Band-Aid. And Luke would never let me get lost in the mix!”
“Oh, Julia, calm down, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Donna patted her hand. There was more she wanted to say; Julia could feel it. She shivered, unable to imagine what more there could be.
“What else, Mom? There must be more. Something else you’re not telling me. Because it sounds like you want me to put off having a baby. Why?”
“Honey, just follow your heart like you’ve always done. Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a full day of wedding prep.”
“Okay. I love you, Mom…so much.” Julia hugged her tightly. She was too exhausted to talk anymore, especially with her mom dancing around the real issue—whatever that might be.
“To the moon and back, baby. To the moon and back. But just one more thing…” Julia stiffened. “Watch out for Paige. She was eyeing Luke from afar all evening.”
“Mom! She would never try anything. Honestly.”
“Honey, she’s closer to his age than you are. Just don’t leave him alone with her.” Donna winked.
“Seriously? I don’t need this. Not after Renee just got out of the picture,” Julia grumbled. “Paige was really drooling over Luke?”
“He’s a handsome man, honey. I think you need to get used to women eyeing him. Get out your rhino-skin jumpsuit. You’re going to need it.” Donna playfully nudged her.
More deflection.
What was her mom trying to hide? Or was it something she was afraid to tell Julia? For now, she’d drop it. The last thing she wanted was to upse
t her mom. Eventually her mom’s conscience would get the better of her, and she’d spill her guts. Julia would just have to wait it out.
“Well, lucky for me Luke is the most loyal and trusting man on the planet. And controlled. Nothing and no one can tempt him unless he allows it. Not even me.” She laughed, and so did Donna. “I have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
That was the truth. Luke wore his morals on his chest and arm: Semper Fi and Death Before Dishonor. His tattoos spoke his heart. Words he didn’t take lightly. They were a promise not only to himself but to her.
Luke would always be faithful.
four
Keeping Secrets
The weather forecast showed clear skies and mild temperatures today. Julia’s special day appeared to be on the cusp of perfection, yet uncertainty lurked in her heart.
Julia and Lauren were out taking a walk around the property for a late afternoon break. Julia needed air and wanted to check out the location for the ceremony. Tomorrow, Luke and his crew of helpers would assemble the site per the plans she had made.
While he was busy with his guys, Julia and her ladies would take care of the flowers, cake table, and all the extras. She even had a plan for covering the important pieces with tarps to preserve everything from the elements and curious squirrels.
“What’s on your mind?” Lauren asked, kicking up pebbles along the path.
Julia looked sidelong at her. It had meant everything having Lauren in Faithful Falls during the last two weeks. Lauren hadn’t officially moved to town yet, but after the stabbing, she had been hard pressed to leave Rick’s side until he was fully recovered.
“It’s my mom. She’s keeping something from me, and I have no idea what it is. It’s not like her to keep secrets.”
“Hmm, that is odd. What makes you think she’s keeping something from you?”
Julia glanced down at Lauren’s stomach. Her hand was resting against the barely visible bump. After only two short months, her best friend had changed dramatically. She was in love with a terrific man, and she adored his daughter and loved her as if she were her own. Plus, she was having a baby on top of it all. A maternal Lauren was something Julia had never dreamed she’d see. Pregnancy and love looked stunning on Lauren. She glowed brighter than the northern star.