The Monarch Room

by Danielle James

  “I miss you,” I told her, honestly.

  “I miss you too, sweetheart.” Emotion snaked from the corner of her eye and I knew it killed her to see me hurting. I wanted to tell her the real reason behind my tears but I knew she would scold me for loving Roman. He was my teacher.

  Maybe I was stupid for thinking we were anything more than a silly fling. He could never love me. I was a teenager. I hadn’t lived life. He had a son. Me? I was a senior in high school. What life had I lived in comparison?

  “Let’s plan to hang out, okay?” My mother’s voice brought me back to my room. I nodded and wiped my eyes, pretending to be fine. I’d been pretending all this time. Why not a while more?

  “I’ll let you know when I bring my grades up and Father lets me out of prison.” I tried to add a hint of dry humor but if only she knew how hard it was to make jokes when I was lost in a state of confusion. When I ended the call, I reached for my blue book and realized I’d left it at Roman’s house.

  Fuck .

  Nerves took over my stomach and I turned to my side wondering what he thought of the words covering those once white pages. I nibbled on my bottom lip and tried to figure out what I really wanted. That’s what Duke told me to do.

  Every time I thought about what I wanted, the only thing I saw in my mind was Roman. I saw his face, his eyes, that smile, and those dimples. Even sad and confused, my heart still fluttered for him. How was I supposed to get over him and move on?

  That’s what I had to do if he didn’t love me right? I had to move on. There was no sense in letting him use me up if his heart wasn’t in it like mine. If he only cared but didn’t love . I needed something more than caring.

  My computer chimed with an email and I forced myself to check it. In my inbox was a message from Mr. Clermont. My fingers hesitated before clicking the subject line to open the email.

  Miss Okolo,

  Before school tutoring is still available if you’d like to come. I have an open slot. Please let me know.

  Respectfully,

  Mr. Clermont

  Why did something so simple make my insides feel dizzy? I sat up and placed my fingers over the keys to respond although I didn’t know what to say. A thundering knock on my door stopped me from answering.

  I leaped off my bed like I’d been caught doing something wrong and opened the door for my father. “Your teacher has sent an email about tutoring. Did you see it?”

  “Yes,” I nodded.

  “If you are not at that school as early as humanly possible, so help me Zuri…” His entire face shook with anger. “I will leave the hospital and drive you there myself if I have to. You had better pull this god awful C average out of the mud by the end of this year.”

  “Yes, Father.”

  “Sometimes I wonder how I had any part in creating such an empty-headed child. It had to be your mother’s doing. My genes would never create something so vapid.” He shook his head in disgust as he walked away and I flipped him off behind his back.

  I settled on my bed and typed a response to Mr. Clermont.

  Mr. Clermont,

  I will be attending the before-school tutoring session. Thank you for notifying me.

  Regards,

  Zuri Okolo

  I closed my computer and let the nerves set in. They ate at me for the rest of the night and sleep refused to come.

  **

  Roman

  How was I supposed to sleep? It was hard to breathe feeling like I’d crushed Zuri. When she hopped in the back of her chauffeured truck Friday night, I thought I’d lost her. The thought was stifling.

  ​ I tossed and turned all weekend, unable to free myself of the scratchy weight settled in my chest. Finally, on Sunday, I emailed her student account. I had no other way of contacting her since she wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.

  I had to see her.

  I fumbled when she left on Friday. I should have said how I really felt. I knew what the truth was. We weren’t just fucking. Sex with her had turned from urgent and hurried to slow and passionate. I took my time on her. I worshipped her. I let her sweet waters purify me.

  Zuri Okolo was my church.

  If she was wrong, then what was right? I didn’t want to find out. If she was wrong then I wanted to be wrong. If she was illegal then I wanted to be an outlaw. Whatever meant I’d get to have her…I wanted to be that.

  In the throes of insomnia, I tossed the blankets from my body and went to find her blue book. I knew it was the closest thing I’d have to her. The closest I would get to holding her in my arms. If I couldn’t hold her physically, then at least I could hold the most beautiful part of her…

  I could hold her mind.

  I flipped through countless tortured poems about the verbal abuse she endured from her father. I read through poems about her mother’s love and the fact that she thought love and emotions made her weak. I read about how she hated tears because they showed people how to hurt you.

  My soul hurt for Zuri.

  Then I came to poems that were happier.

  Sunlight

  Don’t you remember watching the golden sun stretch above the clouds?

  Don’t you remember how I’d much rather watch your smile?

  Maybe you never knew

  But while you were watching the sun

  I was watching you.

  You were more sunlight than the rays peeking over the horizon.

  You were more than the pinks and blues and yellows.

  You were more than all the pain and the sorrow.

  You warmed me down to my bone

  Down to my marrow.

  More than I ever knew

  I could live forever without sunlight

  But I could never live without you.

  I closed the book and my eyes along with it. I could see her hands writing. I could see her brows knitting together and the cute determined look on her cocoa brown face. Dammit, I missed her.

  I did remember watching the sunrise with her in my arms. I never knew she was watching me though. My chest squeezed and I prayed that she showed up at school the next day. I would make things right and tell her how I really felt. The feeling spreading in my chest was more than merely caring about her.

  Until then, I would drown in her words. I’d let them take me deeper inside of her than I could ever go physically. I’d learn her more intimately than I could with my dick and with my tongue.

  While her body was like a sugar rush, her mind was like soul food. Her heart was sunlight and sustenance. I consumed her through that book and it felt like a rush.

  **

  When my alarm went off in the morning, I realized I’d only slept for an hour and even then, I was holding Zuri’s blue book of poems. I sat up and hurried to get ready. I didn’t know if she’d actually show but in case she did, I wanted to look good. I wanted to see that smile. I wanted to see the small quirk that dimpled the corners of her lips.

  The building was dark and empty when I arrived, as usual. I made my way to the Monarch Room and unlocked it. The smell of pencils and paint filled my nostrils but all I could think of was Zuri. Every time I set foot in the Monarch Room, I thought of her.

  I set out my things and began going over my lesson plan for the day. I might as well pretend to do work. Without warning, the air around me got warmer. Something about the room was sweeter. My palms were itchy and somehow, I knew Zuri was there.

  I stood up and opened the door. The monarchs on the ceiling fluttered with the whoosh of air. I saw her when she rounded the corner and I couldn’t help but stare at her.

  When she was close enough, I pulled her into my arms and crashed into her with a kiss. It was an all-consuming kiss that couldn’t wait until we got inside the classroom. I backed her against the door and held her face in my hand. I didn’t want her moving an inch.

  I needed her to feel how much she meant to me. I kissed her until tears leaked from her closed eyes. “Roman,” she choked out my name and touched the s
ide of my face. We moved into the room and I shut the door behind us, locking it.

  “I’m sorry, Zuri. I shouldn’t have let you leave on Friday. Not like that.”

  “Why am I here? I don’t want to hear that you care about me. It’s just…it’s too small of a word. Not after the things we’ve shared. Not after all the mornings and evenings that have been burned into me. This fucking room has been burned into me, Roman.

  Saying that you care is too vague and…”

  I shut her up with a kiss so deep, her knees buckled and I had to hold her against my body so she wouldn’t fall to the floor. When I pulled away she was in a daze. “Zuri, I love you.” The words flowed out of my mouth like I’d been saying them for years. They were easy like love should have been. They stunned her silent.

  “You…love me?” she asked like she was incapable of receiving such a thing from me.

  “Yes. I love you. I wouldn’t have told you about River if I didn’t love you. I wouldn’t have let you into my art room or my head or my heart.” I rubbed her cheek with my thumb and stared into her eyes. The eyes from my dreams.

  “I love you too, Roman.”

  “I know you do. Nothing else would have pushed you out the door like that. I’ve made up my mind that I don’t care what has to happen for us to be together. I’d rather face the blowback and have you than to live without you.”

  Her arms hooked around my neck and she rubbed the tip of her golden dusted nose against mine. “I’m scared, Roman. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

  “I don’t want to get in trouble either but maybe I’m stupid because the trouble is worth it if I get you in the end.”

  “Yeah, you’re totally stupid,” she said, dry humor coating her tone. I laughed a little and kissed her forehead.

  “We’ll lay low until June.” I traced the outline of her face, letting my fingers glide over her smooth skin.

  “Roman, I can’t go a day without seeing you. It’s bad enough I have to wait over the weekends. I need you.” Her eyes drank mine in and words settled into the silence between us.

  I moved closer to her pouty lips until I met them with mine. My fingers plucked open the buttons on her shirt and I kissed her neck. I could taste the cocoa butter on her skin.

  My hands slid under her skirt and I pulled down her tights and panties. I felt at home when I smelled her desire in the air. My cock turned rigid in an instant. I laid Zuri on my desk and buried myself between her thighs.

  I was home.

  “Can I make love to you?” I asked, staring down at her. Her throat dipped when she swallowed. I could tell she was nervous like the first time but she nodded anyway. I pushed her leg back and thrust into her wet heat while she gave me the softest, sweetest moans.

  “I love you so much,” I told her in between painfully slow kisses while I dug my dick deep. She clenched around me.

  “I love you too,” she whispered.

  “You’re mine. Understand?” My strokes got harder and faster, making the wooden desk groan in protest.

  “Yes, Roman!” She shouted while her knuckles dug into my back. I loved the way her hips met every motion I made.

  “Good girl. Fuck me back, princess. Give me that pussy.”

  “Shit,” she whined when I sank into her. I stayed there, letting her feel every inch as it stretched her.

  “I want to feel you cum, Zuri. I want it to trickle down my cock and down my balls. Let me see how wet I make you.” I slid my hand between us and rubbed her sensitive clit, sending her into a fit of convulsions. I looked down and watched how slick she got. It was beautiful.

  When she came, she clutched me in her arms and buried her face in my neck. “Keep coming on my dick, princess. Wet it up.” The heat that gripped me was unreal. I pulled out and let my load loose on her glistening cunt.

  “God we look good together,” I marveled at our fluids mixing. Zuri looked down then tossed her head back with a short laugh.

  “We do look good together.” She looked at me with this crazy glint of lust in her mink brown eyes. I was in awe when she reached between her legs and played with her stiff clit. Her fingers slid through my cum while she shuddered.

  “Damn, Zuri,” I said, tilting my head to the side. I couldn’t stop watching the show she was putting on if I wanted to. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. Her fingers slid in and out of her tight, pink hole and my cock started to rise again.

  When she put her fingers into her mouth, a hungry, possessive growl rumbled deep in my chest. I gripped her face in my hand and kissed her. We’d made love, now I needed to fuck her. I needed to make her scream.

  She made my dick so hard it hurt.

  I pushed her over my desk so that her ass was in the air then I fucked the shit out of her. I watched her round cheeks jiggle with each punishing thrust. Her moans turned staccato from the force of my weight crashing against her.

  “Roman,” she called loud and breathy. Suddenly, the two-syllables of my name stretched to four.

  “Tell me how good that dick feels deep inside of you, princess.”

  “It feels so good. I’m gonna cum again!”

  “Good. If I had my way, I’d make your beautiful ass cum all day long.” I felt my own climax building while I screwed her relentlessly. Zuri was so wet, it rushed out of her in waves when she came. I felt her wetness on my thighs and I knew she’d leave a huge spot on my desk.

  I didn’t give a fuck.

  Not then.

  Right then I was in a goddamn utopia.

  My back grew stiffer the more intense Zuri’s orgasm got. She was so tight I could barely move an inch. “I need you to take this load in your mouth, princess.”

  “I want to feel you inside of me, Roman, please.”

  Shit. Her words were about to make her wish a reality. I couldn’t cum inside of her like that though. The show she put on for me was risky enough even though it was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.

  “Knees. Now. Zuri.” It took every ounce of willpower I had, but I pulled out of her and forced her to kneel in front of me. My hand on her shoulder held her in place. My good girl took my dick in her mouth though. She swallowed every drop and held me there until I stopped throbbing against her tongue.

  “Shit, I think I cut my knee,” Zuri pouted after she cleaned up in the bathroom. I sat down behind my desk and pulled her into my lap, tugging on the waistband of her skirt.

  “Come here, let Daddy make it feel better.” My tongue skated lazily up and down her neck while she giggled.

  “You probably did it when you made me kneel.”

  “So let me fix it.”

  “Will you fix it for me, Daddy?” We fell into a kiss while I rubbed her sides.

  “I will. Let me get a Band-Aid.” I sat her on my desk like she weighed nothing and tried not to think about eating her pussy while her legs were parted in front of me like that.

  “Can you get us coffee too?” She grinned.

  “Spoiled brat,” I grumbled.

  “You make it taste good.” When her nose crinkled like that, a piece of me got wrapped around her little finger. I found myself heading toward the teacher’s lounge for coffee.

  I thought I was alone in the lounge until I heard hushed words coming from the couch. “I promise, I’ll see you tonight. This morning was too sketchy. We can’t keep fucking around while he’s in the house sleeping, Eve.” I stopped stirring coffee when I recognized Matt’s voice. I tilted my head to the side to make sure I was hearing things correctly.

  “Yes, I promise. I miss you too, Eve. Go get some rest, please.” He let out a short sigh and I quietly moved out of the lounge without closing the door. I didn’t want to alert him to my presence, especially if he wasn’t ready to talk about that phone conversation.

  What the fuck was that shit ?

  I walked back to the Monarch Room with my hands full. I set the coffee cups down on my desk and sat in my chair so I could look at Zuri’s knee. I saw the cut she complain
ed about. It wasn’t deep but I was sure her tights would irritate it for the rest of the day so I rummaged around in my bottom drawer and pulled out the first aid kit.

  Once her knee was bandaged, she smiled at me over her cup of coffee. “Thank you, Daddy,” she purred. I slid a little closer and dropped my head so I could nibble on her thighs.

  “Keep it up and you’re going to end up with my dick inside of you again.” She giggled and rubbed the top of my head while I kissed my way up her leg. “Fuck, Zuri, I could live off the smell of your pretty pussy.” I sucked on her inner thigh while she breathed out a soft moan. I had to taste her on my tongue. Coffee would be so much better once I had my fix of Zuri.

  I rubbed her thick pussy lips through her panties while she squirmed on top of my desk. I loved making her squirm for me. It was so rewarding.

  “Yo, Rome, you in here…” Matt’s voice made me snatch away from Zuri with lightning speed. My heart knocked against my chest and Zuri looked like she was going to keel over.

  “Shit, I’m sorry…” Matt backed out of the room and I pushed to my feet.

  “I’ll be right back, Zuri. Just stay here, okay?” She nodded and looked at me with wide eyes while I went after my friend. I caught up with him by the Universal Room. I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned around with narrowed eyes.

  “Roman, what the fuck man? You’re banging your student in your room with the fucking door open and unlocked?”

  “I wasn’t fucking her, Matt. Zuri came early for…”

  “Dick. She came early for dick. That’s obvious, Rome. You can’t explain away what the fuck I saw. Your head was practically up her skirt while your hand was between her legs. How are you going to smooth that shit over?” He sighed heavily and tossed his hand in the air. “I told you to be careful. You’re lucky Palmer isn’t here yet and I’m the only other person crazy enough to be here this early. You have to be more careful with her.” He shook his head then slid his fingers through his dark hair.

  “How long have you known, Matt?” I asked, leaning against his door. His room was decorated with galaxy colored walls and equations that mimicked constellations in the sky.