by Natalie Ann
“What, baby?”
“How come you never moved on from Mom?”
He sighed on the other end. “I’ve told you before. When you love someone it’s hard.”
But she didn’t believe that. She’d loved Stephen, but when she found out he was married, she had no problem getting over him while she mentally imagined roasting his balls over coals and feeding them to a pack of rabies-infested raccoons. The hurt had helped her, but apparently her dad had a different reaction.
“But Mom didn’t feel the same way. Or she did and doesn’t anymore. She had no problem moving on. Why not show you could too?”
She hated saying that to her father but felt maybe it was time someone did. “It’s not a contest. She doesn’t love me anymore. I know that. I guess you could say that I don’t want to go through it again though.”
That’s what she was afraid of. “It’s better being alone?”
“Not better. Not really. It’s lonely. I think it’s just been so long now I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t want to even consider putting myself out there. I’m fifty-one years old. I was a late bloomer as it was when it came to dating. Then I met your mother and settled in with her. Doing it now...no way. Out of the question.”
“But you’ve thought of it?” she asked. It was like she could hear the underlying uncertainty in her father’s tone.
“I have. Then I realize how daunting it is and stop thinking about it again. I’ve put myself in this position now. It’s been seventeen years since your mother left. And thirty years since I was in the dating world. Nah. Too much hassle.” She knew her mother had gotten pregnant and that was why her parents had married. It wasn’t a secret.
“I think you need to give it a shot,” she said, surprised at herself. She was coming to realize that was what was holding her back so much. That the man she looked up to her whole life was afraid to try.
“Melissa. Don’t take after me. Don’t do what I did. Don’t follow in my footsteps. I know you had a few bad experiences with men and at the time I wished it would have been legal for me to ram a shotgun butt in their heads and make them apologize, but the truth is we all learn from the past in one form or another.”
“Since I’m going on a date today, I’d say I’m not following in your footsteps,” she said, laughing. She’d learned plenty to make her cautious now.
“I think you’re holding yourself back. Or setting yourself up with expectations too high at times.”
“My expectations are that someone is faithful to me and loves me for me, not what they might gain from being with me. I don’t think that is too much to ask.”
“You’re right. They aren’t. And don’t settle for anything other than that. But don’t stop trying to look for it either.”
“I won’t. I’ll never stop.”
She hung the phone up after that, just as she heard the motorcycle pull into her driveway. She didn’t think she was that picky when it came to men. She only wanted those two things.
***
Connor didn’t know what to expect today but decided to play it casual. His swimsuit was in his bag tucked away, along with a change of clothes. Not that he was thinking he’d be spending the night, but he had no idea of their plans either. He just wanted to be prepared.
Her front door opened before he even got on the porch. He’d liked to think she was eagerly waiting for him and said as much. “Couldn’t wait to see me?”
“Couldn’t wait to see your bike,” she said. “I like the looks of it.”
He was trying not to get insulted that his bike rated higher in her mind than him. “If you can get your hands on a spare helmet, I’ll take you for a spin later.”
“I was hoping for that. I’ve got my own helmet since my father has always owned a bike.”
“Do you ride one?”
“No. I’d rather hold on and enjoy it.”
He was thinking thoughts that had no business being in his mind right now. “Then if your plans allow, we can go for a ride around the island later.”
“I’d like that. If not, then another time.”
She held the door open for him to go into her house. It was on the small side but very nice. Two story, somewhat of an open layout with a good view of the water beyond. “It’s a nice location.”
“Thanks. Not your style, I’m sure.”
“Why’s that?’
“Not big enough. Not modern enough. The ceilings are lower than you’d like. The kitchen isn’t white like you want. I’ve got granite, not marble. Let’s see, what else is there?”
She was smiling at him. She remembered all the things he’d said. “That’s all true. Why don’t you show me around?”
“Follow me.”
So he did, just like a stray tagging behind hoping she’d pick him up and pet him and take him home. It was demoralizing that he was thinking that, but sometimes you just had to admit when you had it bad and it seemed to him he did.
They walked around the rest of the house and though he liked her style, it really wouldn’t be where he’d want to live. It was on the wrong side of the island for what he was thinking. “So what are our plans for the day?”
“I wanted to surprise you, but I figure I might as well tell you before it gets here.”
“It?” he asked, wondering what the heck was going on.
“A charter boat. We’re going to go out on the water, have a nice lunch, maybe a few drinks. We can fish if you want, but nothing more than tossing a line out. We could jump in the water in a few spots to cool off too.”
“You went all out.” This was a pretty expensive date, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he was secretly thrilled she seemed to be trying to impress him.
“Before you think I broke the bank; the owner owes me a favor. I sold him his marina and he said anytime I wanted a day out to give him a call. I did. I’ve got a picnic lunch and drinks all ready to go. He’s just captaining the boat for us.”
“So it’s not a big charter boat?”
“Not like you think. He does do personal tours or charters for groups of six or less. He’ll be here in about twenty minutes if you want to get changed.”
“What about you?” he asked. She had a pale yellow sundress on and big shades on her head holding her hair back.
“I’m got my suit on under my dress. Everything else is packed up for the day.”
“You just want to see me half dressed,” he said, trying to see if she’d fall back into their banter from the last few conversations they’d had.
“Of course,” she said laughing. “Bathroom is right through there. Don’t keep me waiting.”
Some Criteria
The temperature was pushing ninety, yet it didn’t feel like that on the water. Even if she did heat up when Connor took his shirt off. He’d done that on purpose, she knew. Then challenged her to remove her dress.
Yeah, they were sizing each other up and she was guessing they both passed since his gaze seemed to sizzle some more when she was left standing there in her teal bikini. For the heck of it, she even struck a pose. Why not? She learned to embrace her curves years ago.
“So now that we’ve seen each other’s bodies, why don’t we get some lunch?”
“There’s still more to see,” he said, smirking at her.
“There is. Whether we get there or not, depends.”
“On me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“How come it doesn’t depend on you? Maybe I’ve got some criteria too that you need to meet.”
She burst out laughing. “Well then, let’s have it. I mean you’re the one that invited me back to your hotel room a month ago without even knowing my last name.” He flushed. Literally turned red in front of her. “Did I hit a nerve?”
“No.”
“Yet I don’t believe you.”
“Let’s say you spoke the truth. And if you hit a nerve then it’s an issue I’ve got with myself more than anything.”
“Want to explain that?”
“Not really, but I will.” He sat on the bench at the back of the boat and patted the seat next to him, so she followed and took a seat. “I saw you and I wanted you. I see you now and want you again. This time I’m trying to play by your rules.”
“You don’t know what my rules are.”
“I probably know more than you think. Or maybe I want to know more. I know you don’t have one-night stands because they’re beneath you. Which means you look down on me for having them.”
It was her turn to feel the heat creep up her neck. “I wouldn’t be so blunt about it.”
“But you’re pretty blunt about a lot of things,” he pointed out.
“I am. The thing is, I normally wouldn’t have given you a second chance and I did. Maybe because I can see you are trying. I guess the question is, why are you trying? Aside from seeing me and wanting me. A physical attraction doesn’t hold, at least not long term. Or not forever.”
“And you’re looking for forever?”
“I’m looking for love. I’m going to be thirty. I’ve dated a lot in my life and haven’t found what I’m looking for. I don’t think I’m all that fussy, but some might say otherwise. I’ve crashed and burned a few times, but I keep holding out hope there is someone out there for me.”
“If you’re not fussy, then tell me your requirements. Are you looking for someone to support you? Someone that looks good in a swimsuit?”
He was smiling, but she didn’t find it funny at all. “I can support myself just fine and have done so for years. I don’t need someone to support me, but I don’t want someone that I end up supporting either.”
“Makes sense. What else?”
“Physical appearance is a small part. A tiny part, so don’t think you’re scoring points there, though I do think you are a treat on my eyes.”
He laughed. “I’ll take any advantage I can get. So far it doesn’t seem you’re all that fussy, so there has to be more.”
“There are two things. First. I want someone to love me. Someone I love back. Because when two people love each other they manage to make anything else work in a relationship.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“You’ve never been in love?” she asked.
“No. Have you?”
“I have. There are things that love helps you to overlook. But there is one thing for me that all the love in the world can’t overlook. And that is my second criteria. The person I’m with has to be faithful to me.”
“And you’ve been cheated on?” he asked, his hand reaching over and threading their fingers together.
“I have. It hurts. Hurts worse when you love someone.”
“Then I’ll tell you right now, I’ve never cheated on anyone. Ever.”
***
Connor could see that Melissa didn’t believe him. But the truth was, he’d never been in a relationship long enough to cheat on someone. He never had any ties or reasons to stay in a relationship long term. Most women he was with knew what they were getting into and when he was tired or done, he just moved on. No hurt feelings on anyone’s part. Or he tried not to have any.
“Seriously?” she asked.
“Yes. I can see you appreciate honesty, so I’ll tell you that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. Nothing deep and when you aren’t with someone on a serious or long-term level there is no reason to cheat. You just stop seeing each other.”
“That seems cold.”
“It’s the truth.”
“The funny thing is, I believe that.”
“I can’t figure you out. I can’t tell if you thought I’d say something else or wished I didn’t tell you the truth.”
“I don’t know what to think. I want to be annoyed, but what you’re saying is extremely plausible. I guess my next question is, why me? Why do you seem to think it could be different with me? Since I’ve told you I don’t do one-night stands and you still keep coming back, you’ve got to be thinking I’d want a relationship…if we are compatible.”
He leaned over and kissed her quickly on the lips. “I think we are very compatible. I think you believe that too. I can’t explain why it’s you, but I know it and I’m going with it. I’m getting older too. Maybe I’m tired of this lifestyle.”
“Or maybe you just need a challenge?”
He heard his phone go off and stood up to get it and see who was texting him, hating the interruption. He’d like to let it go, but couldn’t always. Even if he wasn’t on call, there were patients he’d given his personal number to and would respond. “Excuse me,” he said, pulling his phone out of his bag on the seat of another bench.
It was his grandfather finally responding to the text he’d sent last night asking how the new meds were that Connor wanted him to try. It annoyed him that his grandfather didn’t always answer right back.
When he read “I’ll let you know if there is a problem. Stop bugging me,” he had no choice but to grin.
He replied back that he’d leave him alone, then put his phone away and sat back next to Melissa. This time moving closer so that their bare legs were touching each other. When she didn’t scoot away he took that as a good sign.
“Everything okay?” she asked. “You were grinning, so I’m assuming it wasn’t work-related.”
“You think it was a woman I was texting?” he asked.
“It crossed my mind,” she said.
“It was my grandfather, if you must know. I was checking up on him last night and he finally replied back.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Is he okay?”
“He is. Told me to stop bugging him, so I will. And just so you know, my phone will go off a lot. I’m not on call today, but there are a handful of my patients that have my number to call me personally.”
“Do you always do that? Hand out your number to patients?”
“Not usually. Only if I’m concerned about them and I know I’m not on call. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with it than try to figure out what another doctor did in my place. No one abuses it. Rarely do I get a call, but the few times it’s happened I know they appreciated that I was there to talk to them.”
“I didn’t expect that of you.”
“You’ve judged me unfairly, but I’m not holding it over your head.” He was teasing when he said it, but the truth was he knew he’d have to overcome this hurdle.
“I may have. I don’t know anything about you on a work level. Just because you like to play the field on a personal level doesn’t mean you’re fast and loose with work.”
“Fast and loose, huh?” he asked, pulling her in for a hug that she willingly went into, laughing the entire way.
“It sounded good.”
He tipped her chin up and placed another kiss on her lips. “Have I eased your mind at all?”
“For the moment.”
He’d take that as a win. “Then let’s eat some lunch.”
“Sounds good. I’m starving. I’ve got a bottle of wine too.”
“Even better,” he said, helping her take the food and drink out of the picnic basket.
They were halfway through their lunch when his phone went off again. He grabbed it, saw the name of a woman he’d dated a few times and deleted the message, then put his phone away. She didn’t say a word and he didn’t either. Her phone had gone off twice already and she’d silenced it.
“I think we might have a phone problem between us,” she said.
“It’s life. Hard to break away. If it’s not important I’m just ignoring it. Were those clients that texted you?” He hoped that didn’t come off as jealousy.
“They were. But they weren’t texts. They were email alerts. Most of my clients don’t text me because they know I won’t answer if I’m doing a showing or with someone else. I’ll respond to an email just as quickly as a text and they can explain more in an email.”
“Well then, I guess I’m good for the day since I’m your client.”
“I’d rather not think of you a
s that today.”
“Then I’ll take that as another win.”
Holding All the Cards
After they’d eaten their fill and had a glass of wine each, Melissa needed to cool off, so she dove in the water once the captain of their boat found a nice place to stop for a bit.
Connor’s phone had gone off one more time and though he ignored it, there was something nagging in the back of her mind that it was probably a woman. She’d wanted to ask, but didn’t. It wasn’t right and not her business. Her phone had gone off an equal number of times.
It really sucked, but was the nature of their jobs. Maybe she’d need to consider this more if she wanted to settle down. If she wanted to get really serious in a relationship like she’d been telling herself for years.
Her work couldn’t always come first. She had to put whoever she was seeing first at times too. They had to have some guidelines to go by.
It’s just she’d been hurt enough that she figured she might as well keep work first and relationships second. No use jeopardizing her career. Except that made her feel like a hypocrite. If she really wanted love and forever, then she needed to put just as much of an effort into things as she was demanding of a mate.
She was bobbing in the water, pushing her slicked back hair out of her face and beckoning Connor on, wanting him to get in the water with her. Float next to her, splash around and maybe have some fun.
He didn’t disappoint, diving right in and coming up with his arms around her waist, making her screech. “Thanks for scaring me half to death.”
“Did you think it was a shark?” he asked, laughing. “Coming to bite you? That does sound pretty tempting if I do say so myself.”
When he lowered his mouth to her neck and started to nibble, her cooled-down body was spiking a temperature again. “We’re going to sink if you keep that up.” Both of their legs were moving double time to stay afloat since their arms were wrapped around each other.
“I won’t let that happen. I know CPR just in case.”
“Maybe I don’t,” she said, moaning when his mouth covered hers. They were slowly sinking underwater during the kiss, then came back up laughing.