Breathe into Me

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Breathe into Me Page 13

by Fawkes, Sara


  “I told you I wanted to hear you play.”

  I looked up to see those blue eyes staring down at me. A lock of dark hair fell across his forehead, but Everett didn’t seem to mind. He leaned a hip against the side of the piano, cocking his head to the side. Swallowing, I turned my attention back to the keys, performing a quick scale. The notes rang perfect through the room. “What do you want to hear?”

  “Surprise me.”

  The request made me pause. I had a number of songs in my repertoire, most of which I hadn’t played in years. One simple song, however—among the first I’d learned—rose to the surface, and I began the refrain for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Memory.” The notes echoed through the room as my fingers danced across the keys. I knew this one, it was one I had often used as practiced, and hearing the somber tones took me back to simpler times.

  “That’s from Cats, right?”

  I nodded and continued playing the melancholy notes. The tension I’d been carrying finally eased, the soft familiarity of the song washing it away. When I came to the end of the song it was like saying good-bye to an old friend. “Did you ever get to see a Broadway play?” I asked, closing the cover of the piano.

  Everett shook his head. “My parents went to several, but it wasn’t really my thing.”

  “What did you like to do?”

  “Lacrosse, rowing, debate. Don’t laugh, but I was even in the chess club for my freshman year.”

  “You weren’t in band, then?”

  He shook his head. “I just like hearing you play.”

  His confession made my heart do little flip-flops. We stared at one another for a long moment before I looked back at the keys. “I should probably be going.”

  “You’re welcome to stay here. We’ve got more than enough room for you.”

  The thought of imposing made me shake my head. “What would the owners say having some unknown girl move into their guesthouse?”

  “You have too much pride. Learn to take some help when it’s offered.”

  “Everett …”

  “Do you have any other options?”

  His blunt question stopped me in my tracks. Truth be told, I didn’t. The only other thing I could do was to sleep in my car, or see if my Uncle Jake would take me. He was my grandmother’s friend, however, which meant he would probably let her know my location. Right then, I needed to stay as far from that as I could.

  “It would only be for a short while, until you get back on your feet. I doubt they’d mind all that much as long as you didn’t overstay your welcome.”

  I looked around the downstairs area again. The furniture, despite being older, was definitely richer than anything I’d ever lived with. Even the piano, while not as fine as the one in the country club, was better than most I’d played. I felt like an intruder inside a place like this, but Everett was right. I had no other options.

  “Fine, but only temporarily,” I said finally. “I’ll sleep on the couch just to make sure I don’t get comfortable.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  “Are you having a party? I saw a lot of cars out front.”

  “Trent invited all the guys from work over to watch a game. The family here has a huge TV. There’s pizza and beer, if you’re interested.” The thought of greasy pizza made my stomach twist, and I shook my head. “Well, do you want to do that one last round of studying?” he asked as I stood and moved across the room to sit on one of the couches.

  “I can’t. Not tonight.”

  “But tomorrow is …”

  “I know, but I … can’t.” I leaned my head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. “My books are all still at the trailer and I just …”

  “I get it,” he said gently. “What I don’t understand is why your family is being so hateful.”

  He nodded, and then looked at me thoughtfully. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

  My face felt pinched as I nodded. “You know what I told you before,” I said, my voice thick, “about my real dad being a not-so-nice guy? Well, he was killed just before I was born.” I took an uneven breath. “My grandmother shot him.”

  He went still at my words. Some inner part of me started screaming, Why are you telling him this? Because I needed to see if he’d run. I needed him to see how messed up I was, just to see what he’d do. I also knew, conversely, that if he disappeared from my life, it would break something inside of me, steal that last ounce of hope I held on to. But I had to know, before my heart got any more involved.

  “What happened?”

  I swallowed at his words. “My mom tried to leave him, and headed over to my grandmother’s house. He followed and came after her with a knife. My grandmother had an old twelve-gauge shotgun and got him when he broke into the house.”

  “And your mom?”

  “As soon as I was born, she packed everything into her car and drove across the country, looking for a fresh start. Then she met my stepdad, and the rest is history.”

  Silence greeted my words, and I shut my eyes tight. I couldn’t look at him, too scared of what I might see in his eyes.

  “So your grandmother blames you for his mistakes.”

  Bingo. It was the first time I’d ever told anyone else that story, and somehow saying it aloud made it worse. Tears welled up again and I angrily dashed at them with the back of my hand. The couch dipped as Everett sat down beside me. “Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked softly, reaching up a hand to cup the side of my head.

  I didn’t look at him, but the contact made me want to weep more. Scooting sideways a bit, I laid on the couch and rested my head on his thick thigh. There was a moment of silence, and then his hand began stroking my hair. Closing my eyes, I shut out everything in my mind and focused only on his hand stroking my hair and the rumble of the fan above our heads.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Sure you can. You’ll be incredible.”

  I wished I had even a tiny amount of his confidence. A sandwich-board sign was on the curb with GED in big letters, and an arrow pointing toward a nearby building. The test was being held at the local middle school, and I could already see several people going inside the assigned building. “Maybe I should postpone this for a little bit.”

  “You’re not going to postpone anything.” Everett got out of his tiny hatchback and circled around to my side, opening my door. “I know this isn’t the best timing,” he said, “but we’ve been practicing for this for weeks. You’ll be just fine.”

  His sincerity was touching, but I wasn’t so sure about it myself. When I still wouldn’t move to get out of his car, Everett sighed and squatted down on his heels. “You’ll be fine,” he repeated softly, and I finally turned my head to look at him. He had that lopsided smile on his face that made my heart be faster, and he reached out and took my hand. “All you have to do is pass, and I know you can do better than that.”

  Watching as more people filed inside, I swallowed and then unfastened my seat belt. The morning skies were overcast and the wind was blowing, bringing an unseasonal chill to the summer air. The weather perfectly matched my mood, but I followed Everett inside quietly, looking around. Most of the people there were older than me, although a couple of kids still obviously in high school dotted the area, accompanied by their parents.

  I signed in and sat down, playing nervously with my thumb. Everett sat quietly beside me, not saying anything but lending support. I leaned into his shoulder, grateful he was there. If it had been me by myself, there was a very good chance I would have left the test for another day. I wouldn’t admit it, but I appreciated his tenacity in getting me here this morning.

  “If I can have your attention, everyone.” The larger woman who had been helping with sign-in was speaking. “We’re ready to administer the test. If those of you taking it would please follow me.”

  “Showtime,” Everett murmured, and I took a deep breath before standing up. Everett’s hand staye
d in mine briefly as I stepped away, alone. I looked back to him as he gave a small wave, and then followed the crowd into the testing area.

  * * *

  “I totally failed it.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Sure I do, because that’s how my luck has been lately. It would be a miracle if I passed it.”

  I wasn’t sure why I was going out tonight of all nights, but here I was in the Bronco all dressed up, with Clare sitting beside me. The overcast skies from earlier had turned into a full-blown storm. Trees whipped above me in the wind as I parked outside Calamity Jane, rain pelting down on the truck. The parking lot was almost empty compared to normal, but a little rain wasn’t going to deter most folks on a Saturday night. It was still early, so more people would come as the night went on.

  Despite the fact Everett had driven me to the testing area this morning, I hadn’t actually seen him for most of the day. He’d run errands, so I decided to get in some piano practice and almost lost track of time. My fingertips were tender, no longer used to the hard keys like before, but the feeling was glorious.

  I could remember a time when I’d disliked the mandatory practice times, but it had been difficult to stop myself tonight. The stress I’d been carrying from the test melted away within five minutes of playing some Beethoven. Visiting the various songs I’d learned to play in happier times was no longer a chore, but a delight. Even learning the new material that Andrew had given me was fun, and I hoped that feeling wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

  “Look,” Clare said as we slid out of the truck, “try to stay positive. If you passed, yay, crack open the champagne bottle, etc. If not, you do it again. Simple as that.”

  “You sound like Everett,” I said, scanning the parking lot, but the only familiar vehicle I saw was the band’s van. I hurried inside, eager to get out of the rain. Despite what appeared to be an emptier parking lot, the interior of the smaller bar was packed. The band was already set up in the back corner but prerecorded music blared from speakers set up along the walls. The room was divided into three different areas: the bar and tables, the dance floor, and what was the main attraction for the coastal club.

  I’d never ridden the mechanical bull, but the feature was one of the highlights to the club. Right now people were gathered around cheering for the lone cowboy who was hanging on for dear life to the shuddering contraption. Laughter and good-natured jeers spilled from the area as he was ejected from the bucking device, but his replacement was ready to take her place. Whereas the cowboy had been violently jerked around right from the get-go, the lady was moving much slower with smaller lurches. Her breasts bounced underneath the white tank top, much to the amusement and cheers of the men around her.

  The whole display made me roll my eyes.

  Across the room, I saw Trent seated next to two of his coworkers, but I didn’t see Everett himself. I wasn’t ready to go over there just yet since I didn’t know them all that well, so I hit the bar.

  Cherise sidled up to my position and lifted her brow. “Got your ID on you, babe?”

  The few times I’d seen her before, she’d never asked me for proof of my age. I was surprised enough to almost give her my real driver’s license … almost. My heart beat a little faster as she scrutinized the fake card. “You know this doesn’t even look like you,” she said, smirking as she gave it back to me. “But I don’t want to be shut down on my first night so I’m checking anyone who comes up to the bar. Might want to spread that around.”

  I grabbed my beer and leaned sideways against the bar as Cherise moved to another person. The whole thing about getting a beer was more habit for me than any need to drink. Earlier after the GED test I’d been tempted to drown my sorrows, but I was serious about turning over a new leaf. Alcohol turned me into somebody I didn’t like, let me do things I regretted when I was sober. Still, it would be weird for me to be in a bar without a beer in my hand.

  Clare pulled up next to me at the bar, and I grinned over at her. “Glad you could make it.”

  She returned my smile. “I figured I’d give having fun another shot after the mess last time.”

  I held up a finger. “I swear if you apologize one more time, I’ll boot you back out that door.”

  Her smile widened. “Fine, my lips are sealed.” Clare looked around the bar. “So, where’s your new guy? I’ve been dying to meet him.”

  “Oh, I can definitely introduce you.” I peered around her at the entrance, trying to see if my other invitee for the night had arrived. “As soon as I find him, that is.”

  “Has he come to see you play at the club?”

  “I haven’t had my first official day just yet.” I bumped her with my shoulder. “Have I thanked you lately for helping me out with that?”

  “Not today, but I’m willing to listen again if you’d like.”

  I laughed, and then took a drink of my beer to hide my expression as I looked past her. Clare caught my gaze and turned around. Her eyes widened in surprise. “Hi.”

  Andrew gave her a small wave. “Hi.”

  I took pity on him immediately, although I kept my mouth shut. He looked like he’d just stepped out of the country club, with his slacks and polo shirt. All that was missing was a sweater tied around his neck to complete the image. He looked totally out of place in the club, but when Clare smiled up at him, I saw him visibly relax. “Would you like a drink?” he asked, offering his arm.

  Clare hesitated only for a second before winding her arm through his. “Sure.” She slanted a look at me, and her eyes narrowed at my wink. “We’re going to talk later,” she murmured before being pulled toward the bar.

  That went pretty well. Clare and Andrew looked good together, and I wanted to see them both happy. I’d seen how he’d watched her at the club, and my hunch appeared to have been correct. They stayed by the bar chatting once they got their drinks, and I crossed my fingers that my first attempt at matchmaking wouldn’t be a colossal failure.

  “Mm, you smell nice.”

  “I smell like a wet dog, got caught in the rain too long.” I bit my lip to keep from smiling, and then gave Everett as prim a look as I could manage. “You’re late.”

  He leaned onto the bar beside me, almost touching, and gave me a secret smile. Butterflies danced around in my belly, and I tried to cover my reaction by motioning toward his friends. “Want to join everyone else?”

  “Maybe I’d rather keep the pretty girl to myself.”

  I made the mistake of looking up at him and was struck by the piercing glow of his eyes. Everett wasn’t doing anything inappropriate, wasn’t staring down my shirt or leering at me, but something about his gaze made my skin break out in goose bumps. Against my better judgment, I took a quick swig of my beer, trying to calm my racing heart.

  He’s just a boy, I tried to tell myself, but as he leaned closer toward me I felt my heart rate speed up more.

  “I couldn’t get you off my mind today,” he murmured, somehow still audible over the sounds of the bar. I could feel his breath on my ear, the sweet scent of his cologne filling my nose. “You have a bewitching way of making me want you always around me.”

  My gaze fell to his chest, unable to maintain eye contact with him. The hot promise I saw there made my knees weak, and this was too public a place for me to … what? Kiss him again? Jump his bones? Because that’s exactly what I wanted to do.

  I’m not that girl anymore, I thought, but the repeated vow was growing feeble, even in my mind. Staying firm in my resolve to steer clear of men, however, grew more difficult the longer I was with him. Would it be so bad if I let my guard down just once, and maybe allowed myself to have some fun?

  Do you really want to risk it?

  “Let’s go see what Trent and the guys are up to.” Grabbing my beer off the counter, I took a step toward the far table, only to have Everett’s arm suddenly blocking my way.

  “Lacey, look at me.”

  I didn’t want to, but it was as though my
body wasn’t under my control. Everett was studying me, head cocked to the side. When I looked away, he reached over and gently took my chin in his fingers, turning my head until we were eye-to-eye. “I won’t go any faster than you want,” he murmured, leaning in close to make sure he was heard. “But I’m going to tell you the truth as I see it.” He stroked one cheek with his thumb. “You are by far the most beautiful girl in this entire room.”

  My legs went weak at his words and I struggled to keep my composure. Off to one side, I thought I saw Ashley’s face in the growing crowd, but I couldn’t be sure. Sweeping aside my worry, I held out my hand. “So,” I asked, taking his hand, “do you New Yorkers know how to dance?”

  Not waiting for his answer, I pulled him out toward the dance floor. The music beat through me as I rolled my body, letting the rhythm pick me up. Hands crept around my hips, holding but not directing me as I danced. I let go of all my worries, allowing the music to take me.

  The hands on my hips moved up, sliding along my sides and back down over my hips. Smiling a little, I rolled my body back, until I brushed against his wide chest. Closing my eyes and blocking out my surroundings, I danced for him and was rewarded as his fingers dug into my skin. One hand snaked around to my belly, pulling me back against him so we were together. I gave a small gasp as we began moving together, and I snaked one arm up and back to circle his neck.

  “God, you’re sexy.”

  The words set off a series of sensations inside me, making me bolder. I felt almost drunk, high on life, and I turned around so I could see his face. Perhaps that was a mistake; his eyes glittered in the low light, promising all sorts of sensual delights, and his reaction to me only made me bolder. Molding my body to his, we danced.

  “Not bad, New York.” It was easy to forget my crappy life on the dance floor like this, where there was nothing but the music and bodies moving in sync. I don’t know how many songs we danced to before I finally became totally conscious of how close his lips were to mine. He was staring down at me, the sleepy look in his eyes making me aware of the hardness I felt poking me in my belly. I swallowed as we both stopped the dancing and he gathered me close.

 

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