by R. J. Garcia
Dazed, I stared at the floor. It gleamed, white and polished. I pulled off a piece of skin around my fingernail, squeezing out a tiny line of blood.
Polar Bear abruptly appeared, towering over me. He spoke her name, “Jana,” and she looked up. I wasn’t used to hearing her name. It was weird that she even had a name.
Jana pushed her tears away and cleared her throat. “You’ll never hurt him again.” She sounded angry, strong. She had never sounded tough before. “Do you understand?”
Polar Bear was unfazed and raised his hand in a pacifying gesture. “I never hurt that boy, babe,” he lied, his voice loud, but pleasant. He allowed himself a faint smile. “Finn’s a strong boy. He’ll come out of this.” He frowned with effort, putting a show as if he cared. I got the feeling he was almost beaming with pleasure beneath the surface. I hated him more than ever.
Finn’s mom buried her face in her hands. She hadn’t been a good mother to Finn. She was a good friend to him. She laughed and joked with him and turned him into a peer, even a co-parent. Yet she hadn’t really protected him. I finally understood at that moment. It was the same kind of relationship I had with my mom. It doesn’t stop you from loving each other.
When I looked up, Polar Bear’s eyes tightened in on my face. I wasn’t scared of him, but at the same time, I didn’t have any spirit or fight in me. He surprised me by taking out a ten-dollar bill from his wallet and extending it toward me. “Go get something to eat, kid.”
Jana nodded at me, giving me permission to go.
I got up, but I wouldn’t take that asshole’s money. I only looked at Finn’s mother. “I’ll be back in an hour, or so.”
She reached up and took my hand, squeezing it. “Thank you, Tommy.”
I plodded around the hospital, vacant and hopeless, following the signs to the cafeteria. I’m not the type to pray and have never set foot in a church, but over and over again, in my head asked God to help Finn. Maybe God was too busy giving P. Diddy a Grammy.
The food in the cafeteria looked good, but I didn’t feel like eating. There was even a salad bar in the tray lines. I only had two dollars. I bought a medium cup and filled it up with shots of various sodas. The tables were in an open and airy space. I sat down near a large fountain that trickled into a koi pond with orange and white fish.
I jabbed the straw in my drink. This time I bargained with God. I told Him if he let Finn be okay, I would never smoke pot again. As if a supreme being really cared about me smoking weed. It was funny the things our brain comes up with when we’re desperate.
I finally saw Finn. His head was wrapped in white, gauzy bandages. He looked like a swami. His face was one big bruise. There were shades of blue and purple all over his face, melting together. He had tiny drops of blood on an otherwise clean hospital gown, which resembled unknown words in braille.
There was a tube taped to his nostrils and chest, and a monitor recording his heartbeat. There were other tubes, too. I didn’t want to think about the tubes. The ventilator made an eerily soothing sound. It reminded me of the track from Friday the Thirteenth movies that played before Jason would kill someone.
His mom told him she loved him, and he would be fine. I awkwardly told him he was going to be okay. It was what you were supposed to say to people in comas. His eyes remained closed. My heart turned over. It was hard not to break down. I wanted out of there. When I burst out of the room, Holden was there, talking to Polar Bear.
“Hey, Tommy. How is he?” Holden asked.
What could I say? “Not good.”
Polar Bear was using this to feel macho. “Whoever this psycho is, I’m going to get him. You can count on that.”
“Did you talk to Silence? Do you have any suspects?” Then remembering how he was at Silence’s house, I gave him a hard look.
“Yes, she did. She did, indeed.” He rocked on the balls of his feet, oddly hyper and upbeat. “I’ll be happy to get the bastard who did this to Finn.” He grinned about it.
Holden gave him a questioning look.
“Why do you go to Silence’s house late at night?” I asked.
The smile slid off Polar Bear’s face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Pretending he got a page, he abruptly excused himself. “Duty calls.”
“What are you talking about, Tommy?” Holden asked.
“My mom wasn’t lying when she said nothing is right in this town,” I told him.
“Let’s go somewhere to sit and talk.” He began walking.
Everything Finn had gone through had somehow left me weak-kneed. Still, I followed Holden through a set of automatic double doors into a small, waiting-type area, with chairs and a TV mounted on the wall.
We sat next to one another. “Tommy, is there something I should know about this Polar Bear thing?”
I went numb and started talking. “Yeah. After the dance, Finn and I went to Silence’s house and Polar Bear’s police cruiser was there. He was just leaving. It left me and Finn with a bad feeling.”
Holden seemed to think about things. “You’re right. That’s weird. I’m glad you told me.” He let out a large sigh. “He’s a bastard, I swear.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, too.
After a silent minute, Holden told me, “Finn’s mom is spending the night here.” A sad, little smile appeared on his face. “We got all the little ones. It’s crazy. I came to take you home. We need the reinforcement. It’s like a daycare.”
“But I want to stay here.”
“Tommy, you’ve got school tomorrow.”
“It’s the last week of school. We don’t do anything the last week.”
Holden looked lost on how to answer and thought for a second. “You can’t really do anything for Finn here. You could help with his brothers and sisters. You know how much Finn loves them.”
I didn’t say a word. He wasn’t going to let me stay. “I don’t think I’ll be much help.”
“Izzy told us that your mom slept all day and you took care of her,” Holden said. “You’re an awesome big brother.”
“Not always. Mom took care of her sometimes.” I was suddenly reminded of my mom talking about their older sister taking care of them. “You and Mom had an older sister who took care of you guys, right? Princess? Do you ever hear from her?” I sometimes wondered why she ran away, too, and my mom turned out to be more than a little messed up. My mom was depressed a lot if she wasn’t high. Maybe my grandparents weren’t as great as they seemed.
“We never had an older sister. Jenny used to argue with our mom about this, but Princess was our babysitter.” Holden squinted at me. “I’m surprised she still brings it up.”
This took me back. First, I felt like he was lying. I didn’t know what to think. I had heard about Princess all my life. I was distracted when Holden jumped up and greeted a man who came in the waiting room. After the two talked, Holden came over with him and introduced us. It was Finn’s birth dad. We shook hands. He was a little taller than Finn and his face looked worn and etched with time, but the resemblance between father and son was uncanny. It could have been Finn from the future. His dad had a tattoo of a sexy lady on his neck. It was sketched out, with only the key details, in blue ink. Maybe it was a sketch of Jana?
“Yeah, Tommy. Finn mentioned you.” Finn’s dad moved his head in quick, nervous beats. His eyes were tinged with red as if he’d been crying, and his pale face was racked with shadows.
I told him that Finn talked about him too and added, “Finn’s a great guy.”
“Yeah, he’s a wonderful kid.”
Hospital talk was just a shade away from funeral talk. In this case, Finn really was a great guy. What else could we say?
Chapter 27
A Bad Idea
Tommy
Since Silence had left her phone at my house, I couldn’t call her. Still, I had to talk to her. I knew sneaking out to visit her was a bad idea. I get that. It was late at night and some crazy man with a shovel was on the loose. I was so pissed
that I believed if I saw the guy who attacked Finn, I would be able to kick his crazy ass. I had never kicked anyone’s ass. Anger had me built up to a raging, supernatural force. I stomped in between trees and twigs snapped beneath my sneakers. The crickets shrieked out their warning cry. I ignored them.
The stars were a no-show. Only part of the moon appeared visible, yet it washed the trees in a silvery glow. I had my hoodie pulled up, as a shiver of cool air rippled through me. I tore deeper and deeper into the woods. Soon I lost sight of the trail altogether. I wasn’t even sure if I was headed the right way. My anger and confidence started to dwindle, as I sensed something, or someone was there with me. The farther I walked, the stronger my paranoia grew. I started running, convinced I was being chased. My muscles burned, and branches turned to claws scratching my face. I slapped my way past them, cutting toward the side of Old Cemetery Road.
I finally made it to the edge of the pavement, and stayed there for a minute, exhaling in relief. A pair of headlights pierced the distance. The car sped by, fast and oblivious. My eyes darted back to the trees that lined the road, half expecting to see that crazy old man. I reminded myself that I had to talk to Silence. My steps again became fast and angry. I even jogged along for a bit and a heat rose in me. It felt weird being here, not really because it was the middle of the night, but because Finn wasn’t with me. I cut past the trees that lined her yard, and the ground became bowl-shaped, before elevating slightly. I made it to the top of the incline, on my now-tired legs.
Silence’s ghostly house came into view along with the unwelcome sight of Polar Bear’s police cruiser. Even with Finn clinging to life, and his beautiful babies at home without their mother, Polar Bear came here? My stomach clenched like a fist.
I tried to think it out. It wasn’t easy though; my mind was racing. I formulated a plan. I’d snap some pictures of Polar Bear and make him pay for this. Grass and weeds reached my ankles as I went toward the strange and sinister tree. I never climbed a tree before. How hard could it be? I carefully grabbed a branch and pulled myself up. I grabbed another branch a little higher up.
Somehow, I made it to the rickety treetop. Even though the blanket was down, I couldn’t see anything in the window but a dark room. I could snap pictures of Sheriff Bears leaving the house late at night.
The tree seemed to magically grow, blazing high into the sky. Looking down, a feeling of dizziness washed over me. I had to be a good twelve feet from the ground. Maybe I’d never get back down! I was exhausted to the core and just wanted someone to help me and tell me everything was okay.
I had started to freak myself out and had to get down. Carefully, I climbed partway back to the ground, scraping my arm against the rough bark. Then I spotted Polar Bear just exiting the house. I tensed up at the sight of him before feeling a drop in the branch and hearing a crackling sound. I quickly grabbed onto another branch that began splintering, too. My throat closed around a scream as I held on for my life. My feet and legs dangled about six feet from the ground.
Polar Bear looked up. I held my breath. He spun around pulling a small flashlight from his utility belt and shined it right at me.
“Get down from there, boy, or I’ll shoot you and say I thought you were a prowler.”
I managed to swing my foot to a nearby branch like it was a step. It bent but held. I made it most of the way down when I lost my grip and footing landing right on my butt.
Before I could even think, a large hand grabbed me by the back of my shirt and yanked me to my feet. Sheriff Bears released me, but I only had time to blink before I squinted into the barrel of a gun. This was something, I’d only seen in movies.
“Please, please,” I heard myself grovel. “I’ll go home”
“No. We’re taking a ride, boy.” It was a this can’t-be-happening kind of moment. I went blank on what to do and brought my palms up in surrender. He’s going to kill me, I thought, but I kept my mouth shut.
He came closer, patting me down like I was a criminal and grabbed my cell phone. Then with his chin and gun, he’d gestured for me to get into the backseat of the car. I felt a sinking feeling and hesitantly obeyed. The car door slammed shut. Being in the police cruiser, without Finn, seemed much more intimidating. It was after 2 a.m. I felt deliriously tired and wished this entire day had been a bad dream. I sat there, and he drove. I looked at the back of his big head through the steel mesh. I shouldn’t have gotten in the car. No, I should have let him shoot me right there; because at least there would be evidence.
The trees thinned out as we drove away from the woods and our houses, and all I could think was I didn’t want to die. Fifteen years wasn’t enough time. My thoughts went in all sorts of crazy directions. At least Izzy was with Reese and Holden. What about my mom, and Silence and Finn? They weren’t in good places. So, I decided something. I wasn’t going to let him kill me, not if I could help it.
Chapter 28
Words
Tommy
I always tried to choose my battles wisely. I didn’t willingly fight if I knew I couldn’t win. I never made the mistake of thinking that I had any real power. Once, I had talked a few gang members out of kicking my ass and talked more than one landlord into giving us another week to come up with the rent. Now again, all I had to get out of this were words. I thought best under pressure. Reminding myself to breathe, I leaned forward and coated my comment with approval. “I’m glad to see you are working on the case, even this late at night.” I asked, “That’s why you were here, right?”
He hesitated for a heartbeat, and he picked up the bone I threw him. “Yeah. I’m not going to sleep until I get the rat-bastard who did this to my boy.” He made a couple of annoying clicking sounds with his tongue. “Why were you here? Getting some action while Finn’s out cold?”
“Well I’m gay, sir. I was here for the same reasons you were, for information.”
“No news flash there.” I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear the disdain in his voice. “I think you better stick to interior design and leave the police work to me, kid.” He turned the cruiser down a side street. I still wasn’t sure. We turned down another bumpier, dirt road. The tires jostled along the rutted surface while the moon cast hues of blue and grey over a cornfield. I recognized the field from the bus route. It was the long way, but we were now headed in the direction of our houses. I felt a surge of relief.
After we pulled into the driveway, Polar Bear turned around. “I won’t tell Holden, this one time,” he said, “Don’t let me catch you sneaking out again.”
“Thank you.” I was actually thanking him for not killing me, which was a little messed up. The door clicked open and I hurried out, but Polar Bear jumped out too. I was just about to run for it when his hand shot out, my cell phone clenched in his fist. His eyes narrowed and peered at me. Only then he released the phone to me. My head jerked in a kind of grateful nod. I cut across to my yard and climbed in the window without looking back. Probably everyone would think I was full of crap. Yet, I knew if I hadn’t given him the excuse for being at Silence’s, he would have killed me that night.
Chapter 29
Held Hostage
Tommy
Silence didn’t show up at the bus and Annie sat by me again. She looked like she might cry when we talked about Finn, but instead, she got quiet. For some reason, sulking together had a sedating effect on me. I let out a deep, vast, stretching yawn and before long, I fell asleep on Annie’s shoulder.
Once at school, Edgar came up to me, leaning against the lockers. The gritty, baritone coming out of his small frame always took me by surprise. “You know, Japan’s working on sexbots. It’s all they’re doing.” He nodded his head. “Yeah. They’re going to look like Victoria’s Secret models, but will probably be super expensive, though.”
I just frowned, not knowing how to reply.
Hailee walked up, and Edgar’s eyes became huge, his face instantly reddened and blotched. Hot girls who were alive clearly freaked him out.
This time he didn’t run off but froze.
“Hey, Tommy. How’s Finn?” She looked genuinely concerned.
“Not good.” My stomach went hollow.
“I’ll pray for him.”
“Thanks.” Hailee seemed like someone God would like. She asked about the scratches on my face. I said it was nothing. She collected her books and gave me another gloomy look before walking away.
Edgar asked, with a puzzled expression. “What happened to Wilds?”
“Some crazy guy beat him with a shovel. He’s in the hospital.”
Edgar kept saying things like, “That’s nuts,” as we walked to class. Soon the entire school was buzzing about Finn. Hailee’s friend, Kelly, asked about Finn, with an “OMG,” in response. For her, it was a juicy story to pass around. I disliked her immensely.
Really, a lot of kids were asking me about him. It was a small town. Everybody knew everybody’s business. This was big news. But even in Chicago, people would be talking about this. I wanted to get out of here.
The hallways emptied. Everyone had filed into their last-hour class. My heart was beating abnormally fast and my hands were shaking. I felt like I was being held hostage. I couldn’t sit through another class, so I went and hid in the boys’ john.
When the bell rang, I practically ran to the bus. I just wanted to see Annie.
Climbing up the steps of the bus, made me feel like I was crossing the finish line. Relieved, I flopped down by Annie. She had her notebook opened, and I noticed a sketch of a lonely looking Anime girl on the page. It was good and even had depth. For a moment, the heaviness in my chest lightened. I didn’t know she could draw. “You drew this?” I asked.