Both her and Katie continue sobbing next to me while a tearful Bev attempts to console them.
It's been three hours since I last saw Vladimir. Silent tears course down my eyes as I stare blankly at the wall ahead of the ICU waiting lounge.
All the seats have been preoccupied by Nielsens and Molotovs. Yet I feel like I'm completely alone in this. His words ringing throughout my mind. His apology shredding my heart in anguish.
Last year this time around, you lost your mother.
My body exudes a tremble in realization.
Ya'Allah, I'm not strong anymore...
Another wave of vertigo washes over me, stronger than ever before. I jump to my feet, staggering towards the restroom. Bile rising to my throat, acid burning its way towards my lips.
A few minutes later, I emerge out of the restroom. My face void of emotion as I take uneven steps towards nowhere in particular. Suddenly a hand clamps on my shoulder.
I look up to find Huxley's apologetic sorrowfilled eyes peering down at me. "Sanam..I must speak with you in private."
When we step out of the ICU waiting lounge and into the near empty corridor, he falters in his steps and turns to me. "He shouldn't have gone without me or his cousins..I can't...I just don't know what to do..I can't imagine our lives without Vlad..I couldn't.."
I stare numbly down at my feet, barely registering his forlorn words.
He takes a step closer and grabs one of my hands, placing an envelope within my slack hold. "He had left this note with me, I found it when he was already gone for the mission..its for me to provide to you incase anything were to occur."
Instantly I enclose the note within my palms in a tight hold as my eyes lock with Huxley's. Before walking away, Huxley expounds dismally. "Aside from his troubles, he's a good young man deep down..please don't be offended when I say this."
As soon as Huxley departs, leaving me alone, I immediately access the envelope.
To my wife
Sanam, there is so much to say yet words fail me. So much emotion that is undefinable to pen down onto paper. Even this paper and pen is not worthy of explicating my feelings towards you.
I want to sincerely apologise for everything, yet I know it's meaningless when I can't take back any of it. If only time were reversible, Sanam. If only I weren't such a lowlife. If only I loved you all along. If there is forgiveness possible from you, then please find it in your heart to forgive this wretched soul of mine.
~ V. Alexander Nielsen
I inhale painfully, squeezing my eyes shut as I slump against the wall. The note clutched against my heart, my legs give away and I slip to the floor.
"No.." I whisper fiercely, shaking my head in renewed vigor. "No..I won't let you go..I won't let you go..I won't let you go..."
How could I let you go?
Have I not suffered enough heartbreak ?
How could I let you leave now?
When you've caused me to...
"Want you back..." I cry silently, voicing my thought. "I need you back..Vladmir..."
◆◆◆
"Please.." I implore Rachael and the rest of the family. "Let me remain the night here with my husband."
"You look ready to pass out." Rebecca interjects with concern. "Please get some rest, sweety."
"She's right." I overhear another familiar voice from behind me. I turn to find one of the doctors approaching us."Especially after the other news I broke to you."
I'm reminded by his expectant stare about the pregnancy news. I shake my head at him solemnly. "I need to speak to my husband alone, let me see him please."
"Let the girl stay!"
All shocked eyes fall on mister Dimitri Molotov, his face set in a grim expression. "Let her stay, she has every right to be with her husband more than the rest of us..considering how crazy he is about her. I'm sure her presence for him would be comforting."
I'm no less surprised to hear mister Molotov utter such words for me. Judging from everyone else's face, they were also astounded.
"But he's in a coma, sir. He won't really hear." The doctor begins to explain yet the severe look passing over mister Molotovs face serves to quieten him.
"Take her inside to see him.." Mister Molotov's voice prevails in austere warning. "Now."
The entire family provides me embraces and words of consolation as they begin to depart the ICU lounge for their homes.
Mister Molotov halts near me briefly. "My apologies for words said in the past..I trust only you'd be able to revive him from this condition.."
I lower my gaze to my feet as he pats me on my head affectionately. Mildly shocked to witness this warm gesture and words of support. He exits within seconds, tipping his top-hat in temporary farewell as his cane clicks against the floor.
◆◆◆
I had willed myself not to burst into tears again upon seeing him. Yet I was unable to contain myself. However I kept biting the inside of my cheek to keep my weeping from transitioning to uncontrollable sobs of misery. I couldn't risk the nurses taking me away from his side again.
"The nurse is just a ring away." The doctor explains, motioning to the bedside telephone. He walks back out while closing the door, finalising his words. "Goodnight, Mrs.Nielsen."
As soon as the door closes, I take a seat next to Vladimir's motionless body. My eyes briefly glimpsing the ECG screen display at his heartbeat. Inwardly I thanked Allah for keeping his heartbeat steady, for keeping him alive.
I slip my hand back into his slack one, my mind worrying over how cold his felt. I reach for an extra folded hospital blanket at his feet, unraveling it and spreading it over him. I sit back down and supplicate remembering all the supplications my mother had taught me from the Quran.
After completion of my heartfelt prayers, I exhale heavily and glance towards his face. He appears so angelic, features carved with perfection. Some would comment the saying matched, God took his extra time with sculpting him.
"Vladimir.." I whisper his name, unable to blink at fresh tears seeping out of my eyes. "Please wake up."
You must wake up!
"You must fight this, Vladimir.." I continue, my fingers stroking his pale forehead, cold to the touch. "You're stronger than this..."
I remembered the skydive out of the helicopter, he appeared so alive and vibrant..so unafraid. I had clutched to him with my heart in my throat. And he had provided me the most tender of his looks yet.
I briefly recalled when he had rescued me from the sex slave trade. Pieces of the memories returning to my mind with an overwhelming force. My eyes widen as my mind flooded with the images of what occurred that night.
"Vladimir!" I let out in a strangled voice full of renewed emotion. " I love you!"
I press my face lightly against his chest. "I love you..I love you so much..I can't be without you.."
I tilt my head the slightest to gaze at his face, it remains emotionless, eyes still closed. He appears to not be of this world.
My heart constricts in anguish. "I'm..pregnant...you'll be a father soon..."
I kiss his hand, then I kiss his forehead. "You'll be such a good father..I know you will.."
I place my head against his chest again. "I can't do it without you Vladimir...I don't want to raise our child on my own...I'm so afraid Vladimir...I'm so afraid of the world..don't let me go..I can't let you go."
There remains still silence from him. My shoulders shake in sobs held back as I continue. "I don't want our child to go through what I've been through..I couldn't endure seeing our child suffer."
"You and your child won't suffer after today." A sudden noise of hands clapping together emits from the back of the room. A recognisable voice flows to my ears, chilling my spine. "I'll make sure the three of you receive a proper funeral."
Chapter 36
Sheer dread grips my heart in a strangling hold. Gradually, I raise my head up from Vladimir's chest. His garments soaked with my tears.
My eyes meet with none other than Ivan Molo
tov's.
He merely emits a sinister cackle, halting his applaud. Eyes full of undiluted malice, regard me from across the room.
In his gloved hands, he holds a closed syringe. Ever so slowly, he approaches nearer. From his other hand, he drops a pile of slashed cords which were attached to Vladimir's body. My eyes trace them back towards the hospital machinery, now nonfunctional.
"Wh-What are you doing?!" Immediately, I vault from my seat. I nearly stumble, my footsteps retreating backwards. My voice lets out in fearful disbelief. "Wh-What do you mean?"
He sighs, shaking his head in seemingly mock guilt. "I'm afraid I have no choice but to also to end you along Vladimir."
"What?!" My eyes widen in terror as I look from his face to the syringe gripped in his palm. "Why?! What are you talking about?!"
"Shhh." He brings up a finger against his mouth. Lips stretching into an adverse type of smile. "Relax, it will be quick and painless.."
"Why?!" I demand, fear swamping my body in full trepidation. My back ends up pressing against the wall.
"Hmm.." He glimpses swiftly at his wrist watch. Providing a casual shrug of his shoulders, he meets my gaze again. "I suppose it's fair enough I answer your question before you die."
"Please don't this!" I shake my head at him, my throat constricting. Then I manage to scream out as I canter in the direction of the door. "Someone help me!!!"
Within a split second, Ivan grabs ahold of my upper left arm and flings me down. My derrière collides violently against the floor. I stare up at him in horror as I scramble backwards on my elbows.
He tilts his head at an angle, a smile of disquietude spreads over his face. He was clearly finding joy in my state of affliction. "No one will hear you, I've got that matter sorted out well."
"Someone help!!!" I scream out again. My eyes divert between the syringe within Ivan's grip, to his face and the approach of his footsteps. Frantically, I call out to Vladimir. "Please! Vladimir ! Wake up!!"
"He's far gone, dearie.." Ivan ascertains. His expression twists sordidly as he gazes at Vladimir's motionless form. "Good riddance once and for all. He took what was my rightful position, him and that scoundrel, Dimitri."
My brows dip in terrified perplexity. "Wh-What do you mean?"
My gaze darts around the room, searching for something to use as weapon for self defense or possible ways out. Yet my hands were trembling, clutching at my sides. I was afraid of his towering figure and those manic eyes.
"Betrayal.." He responds derisively, eyes flaming with pure hatred. "That scum Dimitri..betrayed his oldest brother, my father. After my father died, Dimitri took what was rightfully mine to reign over.."
I gaze up at him in alarmed disbelief, struggling to comprehend his impassioned statements.
He continues casually. "Today, all will be taken care of..you see..this day on, I will be restored what is mine..with Vladimir out of the way..he's after all the valuable mastermind for Dimitri..and Dimitri will be rendered powerless.."
He begins nearing me. "I mean, I know it's not your fault that you've been caught between the crossfire...but you're here and you're carrying Vladimir's child."
"No!" I start shuffling backwards, my voice wavering desperately. "Please! Don't do this!"
He chuckles, shaking his head in decline. "Releasing you is not an option, now that you're here..besides if you happen to bore a son, I'm sure he'd seek vengeance for his father's blood.."
Ivan's hideous laughter increases in volume. "You see..it's all in the genes...and he'd turn out just like his father..fūcked up..searching for trouble..looking for a fix..a killing machine..now you wouldn't want that..would you?"
I hadn't realized I was sobbing, shaking my head in denial at his abominable predictions. He remains studying me, unable to quit cackling.
At the corner of my eye, I spot a steel airpot in close vicinity. It was placed upon the patients tilt top table.
"Now.." Ivan concludes, laughter ceasing. He reaches down and hauls me up by my arm. "Let's begin, shall we?"
Unleashing a courage I thought I was incapable of, I swiftly grab ahold of the object. Less then a second passes, as I launch the steel airpot full of hot beverage across Ivan's face.
A blood curdling scream escapes his mouth. His face soaked with the scalding liquid, brown droplets of it streaming down his chin. The aroma of coffee drifts over to my nose.
"You bįtch!" He howls in pain, striving to focus his sight on me.
I attempt to reach for the door, when I'm yanked back by my hijab with extreme force. I topple across the floor, my face nearly scraping against the tiles.
"I guess you didn't want this the easy way!" He croaks, infuriated. "You want carnage, I'll give you exactly that!"
I hear a clicking sound. Immediately recognizing it as a guns trigger pulled. My gasp lodges in my throat. I swiftly curl myself inward on the floor. Not daring to glance up in the eyes of my murderer. My mind goes completely blank.
In a split second, a scrunching noise flows to my ears instead, followed by gurgling. Piercing through the air is the sound of the gun shot.
I scream, clutching at myself. This was it. The ending of my life. Both Vladimir and I.
Moments elapse, yet I feel no pain. Blinking within the crevice of my arms in confusion, I succeed at moving my body. Immediately, I realize I wasn't wounded.
I dare to glimpse up. In repleted shock. My gaze clashes with the familiarity of intense blue eyes. "Vladimir ?!"
He stood forebodingly, behind the limp body of Ivan. His large hands, gripping Ivan's slacking throat. Instantly he releases his hold. Ivan's lifeless body tumbles to the floor.
Blood continues sloshing out of Ivan's mouth. His dead eyes left wide open in unmasked terror.
Debris sprinkles down from the ceiling over head through the bullet hole.
I glance fearfully in the direction of the only towering figure in the room. Silently, he approaches me. Face devoid of any emotion.
"V-Vladimir?" I choke out a whisper.
Wordlessly he staggers over to me. I begin weeping freely as I reach out to him. My knees were tremulous, the rest of my body became immobilized from the shock of everything.
Instantly, I'm gathered into his strong arms. Without another second wasted, I bury my face against the warmth of his hard chest.
"I thought I lost you!" My cries muffle along his neck.
Suddenly the door bursts open, with a flood of police, doctors and nurses.
Within seconds I'm snatched away from his arms. My vision blurs with excessive tears as I scream in agony. "Vladimir!!!"
"Let go of her!!" He lashes out to the authorities. They began all at once, restraining him.
"Vladimir!!" I entreat through my sobs as I'm dragged away.
My mind is reeling with horrified images. Every single abuse I've ever experienced, flashes through my thoughts. Fear increases, flooding through out my body.
Deviant Fixation Page 73