by Zen Cho
Jess blinked. “Wait, what? I thought Ah Ma became a medium because the god healed her when she was sick.”
“Your mother said, is it? She won’t know one lah. Your mother stayed with Ah Chor. Hardly saw Ah Ma back then.”
“It wasn’t my mom,” said Jess. “Ah Ma told me she had snake disease when she was young. She almost died, but the god saved her. She said that’s why she had to serve the god.”
Ah Ku looked wrong-footed, like he’d been caught doing—or rather, saying—something he shouldn’t.
“Ah, correct, correct,” he said hastily. “Ah Ma had snake disease. Forgot already. It was before I was born, that’s why.”
“You didn’t forget,” said Jess. “Ah Ma lied to me, didn’t she?”
Ah Ku wasn’t a great actor; his face said everything Jess needed to know. Still he made a valiant attempt. “No, no. Ah Ma is your grandmother. Where got she’ll lie to you?”
“Ah Ma would definitely lie to me,” said Jess. “She did, if you remember. At the temple? She told me we should get Ng Wei Sherng to pray to the god and then she tried to kill him?”
“That one is because she knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Why did Ah Ma become the god’s medium?” said Jess. “What did she want that the god could give her?”
But she knew. Even as she spoke, she knew. Ah Ku had already told her the answer.
“She wanted revenge,” said Jess. “Against who? Ng Chee Hin?”
Surrendering to the inevitable, Ah Ku said, “If it was that bastard, long time ago he’d be settled already. The god is very effective. That’s why Ah Ma served her for so many years. Even after she passed on, she still has to jaga the shrine.”
His voice cracked. To Jess’s shock, she saw he was crying.
In a panic, she shoved her hand in her back pocket and found a grubby tissue. “Do you want . . . ?”
But Ah Ku declined it, producing his own pack of tissues.
“Even after she died, she has no chance to rest,” he said. “She’s forced to stay in this world so she can serve the god. It’s pitiful, you know or not? Ah Ma has children to pray to her, but because of this, end up she is like a hungry ghost only.” He dried his eyes without embarrassment, blowing his nose in the same tissue when he was done.
“Ah Tat is a small boy. He doesn’t know anything also,” said Ah Ku. “Actually, I’m happy you did the god like that. Nobody else is willing to fight her. Now you destroyed the altar, there’s no reason for Ah Ma to stay here anymore. She can move on to her next life. Whatever happens to the temple, the court case all that, she doesn’t need to worry. It’s not her problem.”
“Right,” said Jess acidly. “Because it’s my problem now.”
Ah Ku didn’t pretend to fail to understand her dissatisfaction. “If it’s not yours, whose problem should it be? You’re Ah Ma’s granddaughter. Your mother is her eldest child. By rights you should help Ah Ma. You didn’t go and see her when she was alive, but at least you can help in this way.”
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” said Jess in English. Switching back to Hokkien, she said, “You want to blame me for not visiting Ah Ma? I was living in a different country!”
“You all came back for holidays what,” said Ah Ku. “Got time to go to Cameron Highlands but no time to see your grandmother. If you know how to respect, you will visit. Don’t need to give this excuse or that excuse.”
Jess was about to point out that she had yet to reach the age of majority the last time she’d visited Malaysia while Ah Ma was alive. But a fleeting expression in Ah Ku’s eyes gave her pause. It was a gleam of self-satisfaction.
Jess was being played.
Focus, Teoh, she told herself. What was Ah Ku trying to distract her from?
“You haven’t told me who it was Ah Ma wanted revenge against,” said Jess. “If it wasn’t Ng Chee Hin, who was it?”
While Ah Ku hesitated, she ran through what she knew about Ah Ma’s life.
The difficulty was that Ah Ma was the kind of person who accumulated nemeses. In fact, almost the only concrete things Jess did know about her were her enemies. Ng Chee Hin. The scrap-rubber-selling boyfriend who had dumped her after leading her into a life of petty crime. The husband who had beaten her and left her with babies to raise. Ah Ma loathed babies, Jess knew that from the dreams . . .
There was the answer, staring Jess in the face. She might not know much about the facts of Ah Ma’s life, what had happened, whose names had belonged to which faces. But she knew about the inside of it. She knew what Ah Ma had been willing to show her.
And what Ah Ma had held back.
“It was Ah Kong, wasn’t it?” said Jess. “She wanted to get back at him.”
Ah Ku looked comically dismayed, like Wile E. Coyote realizing the ground had run out beneath him. “What?”
“Ah Ma was scared of Ah Kong,” said Jess. The dreams of Ah Ma’s life in those stifling rooms had given her that much insight. Those nights she hadn’t dared think of, throughout the interminable days . . . “She would have hated that. She must have hated him for how he treated her. So she asked the god to help. That’s the truth, isn’t it?”
Ah Ku’s expression was all the confirmation she needed.
“What did the god do to Ah Kong?” said Jess.
There was a long moment where she wasn’t sure if Ah Ku would answer, or if he would push back his chair and leave.
“You must understand,” said Ah Ku finally. “It’s not she held a grudge. Because he did her, she must do him back. It’s not like that. She was a lone woman. She had to stand up for herself.
“No man will let his wife take his children and go off. Some more Ah Kong, when he’s angry, he’ll anyhow behave. If Ah Ma tried to leave him, he’ll don’t know do what. It was, what they call? When the robber comes but you whack him and he dies, you won’t go into the lockup. It’s OK, because he tried to do you first. They call what?”
“Self-defense,” said Jess, in English because she didn’t know the term in Hokkien.
Ah Ku nodded.
“‘Self-defense,’” he repeated. “That’s why she prayed to this god to help her. Because this big sister is not like the other gods. Not nice, the way she died. When a spirit dies like that, because someone killed them, they’re very fierce. Very hungry. Some more she has no children, nobody to pray to her.”
“Hungry,” said Jess. She felt a little dizzy. The noise of the kopitiam was starting to get to her. Her stomach turned at the smells—the savory aroma of food cooking in oil, the rich stink of the drain running along the five-foot way. “For offerings, or . . . ?”
“People,” said Ah Ku.
Jess’s mouth was dry. She didn’t feel up to drinking her tea, but she scooped out the ice and sucked on it, grateful for the chill on her tongue.
“I thought Ah Kong died in an accident,” she said.
Before Ah Ku could answer, they were interrupted by a disturbance. The uncle and auntie at the stall near their table had paused their frenetic activity over the wok. Customers craned to see what was going on.
A small group of police officers were mounting the steps to the five-foot way. Ah Ku had barely turned to look when he was surrounded.
One of the police officers said to him, in Malay:
“Mr. Lim, it’s been a long time.” His voice was courteous, even pleasant. “We’d like you to come to the station with us, please. We want to ask you some questions.”
Ah Ku seemed to recognize him too.
“Eh, Sergeant, what is this?” he said, somewhat less pleasantly. “I’m having tea with my niece and you come and disturb me. You cannot simply kacau decent citizens for no reason.”
The police officer’s expression didn’t change. It was attentive, with a slight smile in the eyes—the smile of a man who holds all the cards.
You couldn’t see Ah Ku’s bandaged ribs beneath his T-shirt, and Ah Ku was evidently in no mood to share.
“At my age, if I’m not in hospital, considered good enough already,” he said. “‘Substances’ all that, you should know I stay away from that nonsense. You can come to my house and look also. The only substance you’ll find is kelulut honey.”
“Our investigations show that’s not the case,” said the inspector. “My colleagues found five hundred grams of cocaine at your residence this morning.”
Ah Ku jumped up, bristling with hostility. The police officers shifted on their feet. “What are you saying? I don’t have that kind of thing. You’re trying to bluff me, is it?”
“We can show you the evidence at the station,” said the inspector. He added as an afterthought, “Your wife and child are there also. You can ask them. They were there when our team found the drugs.”
Jess had never seen Ah Ku so furious. He had been calmer helping Ah Ma attempt a murder.
“Whatever you found, it’s not mine,” he said. “I where got time to deal in that kind of business? I hardly left the house for the past few weeks. Went to the temple to pray only. I have an injury, the doctor told me to rest at home. Must be somebody went and put those things there while I’m out . . .”
His voice trailed off as the timing sank in.
Jess knew what was in his mind when he turned to look at her, because the same thought had come to her. If Ah Ku had been set up, it had been by someone who knew he was going to be out of the house just then.
Ah Ku looked incredulous, but not like a man betrayed by someone he had trusted. It was more like he’d stepped on a length of garden hose and found it was a cobra.
Jess said, “Ah Ku, I didn’t . . .”
She checked herself. Who even started up with the denials before they were accused, unless they were guilty?
Ah Ku only said, “Ah Yen’s supposed to be starting uni in October. She got a scholarship. Your cousin!”
“Mr. Lim,” said the inspector, “will you come now? We don’t want to bother people here, yes?”
He nodded at the uncle and auntie at the stall next to their table. They had stopped cooking and were watching, their faces stern. They met his eyes but didn’t smile back.
“You can pay first,” said the police officer. “Or maybe your niece can help settle the bill.”
“I didn’t do it,” said Jess. Her voice sounded small, younger than she was. “I didn’t know, Ah Ku.”
But her protestations sounded hollow, even to herself. If she was part of a scheme, it wasn’t one of her devising—but she knew whose it was.
Ah Ku wasn’t listening anyway.
“I’ll come,” he said to the police officers, and they led him away, a thin man in a faded T-shirt, squinting in the sun. Jess kept her eyes on him as they got in the car and drove away, but he didn’t look back.
* * *
• • •
“HEY,” SAID SHERNG, “how did it go?”
“What the fuck did you do?” said Jess.
Sherng didn’t react to getting sworn at. He only said:
“Where are you?”
This bastard, thought Jess. This useless fucking bastard . . .
She hadn’t known what to do after the cops took Ah Ku away. There was nowhere at home she could have the kind of conversation she was planning to have with Sherng. It had to be private, but there was going to be shouting.
So she’d walked, passing restaurants and sundry shops and homes where, behind rusting grille doors, old men in white singlets watched Cantonese dramas. She’d ended up on a quiet road of old buildings that hadn’t yet been turned into hipster cafés or boutique hotels.
She was sheltering from the sun under the five-foot way, standing between a shuttered shophouse and a joint with saloon doors like a bar in a Western movie, full of men playing mahjong. She wasn’t too worried about being overheard by them. They were engrossed in the game and making a lot of noise themselves. It was unlikely their first language was English, anyway, and her American accent would probably make her speech impenetrable to them.
“You said I should talk to him, he leaves his house for the first time in weeks, and suddenly he gets busted for drug possession? You must think I’m an idiot.”
“Wait, what happened?”
“The cops came and took my uncle away,” said Jess. Humiliatingly, her voice cracked. She pressed the butt of her palms into her eyes until the prickling died down.
“While you were talking?” Sherng said. “That’s crazy. Are you OK?”
He wasn’t convincing. There was something half-hearted about the performance, as though even Sherng didn’t really want her to fall for it.
Jess blew out a breath. “I am an idiot for trusting you. Was this the plan all along? To get at my uncle through me? Is that why you started talking to me that day at the temple?”
“No, I—Jess, there was no plan,” said Sherng. This time he sounded sincere. Jess could almost believe he meant it. “I didn’t even know the medium was your uncle, until . . .”
His voice trailed off.
“Until I tried to kill you,” said Jess. “And you decided to use me to resolve your property dispute. Well, you’ve done it. You fucked my uncle over. There’s nobody left to stand up to your dad over the temple. My uncle’s family never did anything to you. My cousin might lose her scholarship for something that has nothing to do with her. But I guess you wouldn’t worry about that!”
Jess heard Sherng take a deep breath.
“I know you’re upset,” he said. “And I know he’s your uncle. But is it really so implausible that he’s a drug dealer? He used drugs on you, remember? It’s not like he’s squeaky clean. The fellow has a record.”
Even amidst her anger, that gave Jess pause. Could Ah Ku have been lying about the drugs? It wasn’t like she knew what he got up to, how he made his money, what lines he was willing to cross and why.
But she remembered his face when he’d heard about his family being detained—the rage and fear. It had been the terror of one seeing the foundations of his life threatened.
“No,” said Jess with absolute certainty. “He didn’t do it. They said they found the drugs at his house. He wouldn’t have left that kind of thing there, not with my cousin at home. That’s why it was convenient that I got him out of the house, right? So you could arrange for the stuff to be planted while he was out.”
“Look, I didn’t arrange this, OK?” said Sherng. “Even if I wanted to get your uncle in trouble, it’s not like I could simply send out police to take him down. You think I’m the chief of police or what?”
“I didn’t think you did it,” said Jess. “I think your father arranged it. You told him about me and he saw how he could use me.”
Sherng didn’t say anything. Jess went on, “But why? It’s not like your father even needed me to fuck with my uncle. He could’ve done that all on his own. You didn’t need to go through that whole rigmarole. Pretending you wanted to help, pretending you gave a shit! I even held off on going public with those fucking photos of the accident at the construction site, because I thought you might actually do something about it.”
“I am going to do something,” said Sherng defensively. “I’ve just been busy, it’s been CNY and—”
An unpleasant thought had struck Jess. “What happened to Ah Tat when your guy took him away? He’s not going to be found in a monsoon drain or something, is he?”
“What? No! My staff let him go.” Sherng blew out a frustrated breath. “Jess, forget about your shitty relatives. Your grandmother doesn’t care about you and your uncle was enabling her. What they made you do . . . if they knew anything ab
out my father, they knew that was putting you in insane danger. You keep calling me his son, but you don’t know what that means. I’m his only son.”
“I don’t care what you—”
“You should care,” said Sherng. “Listen to me.”
Something in his voice made her shut up—an urgency that she hadn’t heard in it before.
“I’m my father’s only son,” Sherng repeated. “Everything he’s worked for depends on me. I’m not just his kid. I’m the future of his business. You think he cares about Rexmondton Heights? That’s small change in comparison. I’m his biggest investment.
“Pa’s not what people think. He’s willing to forgive a lot. He’s not interested in picking fights. But what you tried? That pissed him off. You don’t want to know what would have happened if I wasn’t standing up for you.”
“You’re right,” said Jess. “I don’t want to know what horrible revenge he was planning because you ratted me out.”
She’d finally pushed Sherng too far.
“You are being a real bitch right now,” he said.
“Oh, I’m a bitch?” said Jess. “You exploited my trust to entrap my uncle, and I’m the bitch? That’s fucking rich!”
“Jess—”
“My uncle may be a gangster and my grandmother a nutcase, but you’re a grown man who doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his dad,” said Jess, in a vicious whisper so as not to startle the men playing mahjong. “Enjoy the rest of your life kissing Daddy’s ass, Sherng. Don’t bother calling me. And if your dad wants to try coming for my family again, I’m going to the tabloids and telling them I aborted your illegitimate child. So he’d better stay the fuck away from me!”
She jabbed at the screen and hung up while Sherng was still protesting.
She stood looking at her phone, breathing heavily. It was tempting to fling it into the drain.
But Jess remembered she had passed a phone shop while looking for somewhere to make the call. She would go get a new SIM card before she cut up her current card.
Adrenaline was pumping through her bloodstream as she walked back to find the phone shop. People passing her looked her in the face, then averted their eyes quickly.