by S. R. Rashad
He goes over the apartment methodically, cleaning and removing all traces of his presence. And while Jill is on the floor bleeding out, he sees her blood and is pleased. He fills a small jar with some of her blood. Holding it up to the light, it reflects the light and seems to glow. He is beyond elated. He thanks her again, kisses her forehead one last time and then he slips away, leaving her body to be discovered days later by a worried boss, possibly her closest friend.
Chapter 3
The education of a monster
There is something about learning about ourselves that can bring out the best of who we are or the worst. I think the real trick is to find a balance, if that's even possible. –L.D.
It has been almost a decade since his first kill. Since learning what he is. Since the blood lust. Since first seeing the light. Since the start of his metamorphosis. Since first becoming angelic. Since the first of the divine sacrifices of flesh. Since the beginnings of his blood purifications.
Peter has nearly forgotten the events surrounding the death of Jill Hornsby. Except for a souvenir, a token of her sacrifice, that he keeps locked away in a trunk in his sister’s attic, he never revisits her murder or the other murders that followed. He doesn't recall the details. He doesn't remember her scream, or the screams of the others. He doesn't see her face. He doesn't see any of their faces. He doesn't hear their last gasps for life. He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember any of it… At least, he would like to trick himself into believing. But this killer who has perfect recall does remember. He remembers everything, that's one of his many torments and pleasures.
He has become engrossed in his studies, working on a double PHD in biology and anthropology at The University of Michigan. The Mayan ritualistic killings, brutal slayings, hundreds led to slaughter, rivers ran red with blood. Pagans we call them, dismissively, as they honored their gods with sacrifice. This is the subject of his dissertation. The Mayan Civilization isn't an oxymoron. There were customs and morals, a system of government and laws. There was family life. The young and the old were cared for. Brutal, savage, primitive, pagan, Peter has issues with these adjectives.
For now, Peter's studies have helped him focus, giving him purpose and clarity... Most importantly, he has been able to cage his hunger, his insatiable beastly needs; needs that emerged a decade ago and have grown to a nearly all consuming thirst.
While living, working and studying on, or around campus, he has only once seen it. He has only once come across a magnificent being who cried out for his special attention, his special care, the touch only a true predator can give. Not many luminous beings here. He finds this oddly comforting, but he knows it will be a matter of time, before something splendid crosses his path. Until then, he will be normal. Well, that is, by all appearances. He will look like everyone else and act like everyone else. He will make and lose friends, eat meals, have lively debates, think about starting a family; normal, regular, with regular behaviors and regular appetites.
Peter has taken a graduate teaching assistant's job. He enjoys it immensely. He likes imparting his knowledge and wisdom on the eager minds in the anthropology department at the U of M. He is quickly becoming a favorite of the faculty and students alike; tall, pleasant, good looking and helpful. Peter makes his way through campus, most times with his head down. One would think it strange that for such a normally confident man, he most often walks around like a timid pimpled face freshman, seldom looking up, if at all.
Peter is always on alert. His time walking through campus causes him a great deal of anxiety. He knows that at such a huge campus, his days are numbered before a desirous being will cross his path. He doesn't want this to happen. He enjoys his work here. He finds the atmosphere quite stimulating. University life appeals to him and he knows in the depths of his being that he will have no choice but to indulge his desires if such a creature were to make herself known to him. He now knows his tastes and hungers run a bit out of the ordinary, to put it mildly. Today's society, as it is, would find it most difficult for a person like Peter to walk among them. So, he keeps to himself and sticks to his studies, and to his routine.
"Excuse me, Doctor VonNetzer!”
Not familiar with the woman’s voice, Peter looks up with a great deal of hesitation and trepidation, before responding…
"It's just peter...no PHD yet...but, how can I help you?"
"I'm sorry, Mr.VonNetzer..."
"Please, just Peter...what's your concern?"
She chuckles bashfully attempting to cover her mouth..."Peter is so informal."
Colette has had the hugest crush on Peter since her freshman intro to Anthro class, but hasn't had the nerve till now, to even approach him.
"Well..." as she tilts her head and flicks her hair... "I'm about to take a physical anthropology course and I think I'm gonna need tutoring...so...um...well..."
Peter just stands there as she is fishing for him to engage, or help her finish her thoughts, or step up and say he'll tutor her, but he doesn't utter a word.
There is an awkward silence, for a minute...then...Colette speaks...
"So if you think you'll have time, I could use your help. I can pay, not much, but I'm not sure how this works,"
"Yes, of course I can help. The university will cover any cost. Just come to the lab a couple of times a week. It will be fine."
"Should we exchange numbers or something, in case..."
"Um, okay..." He says reluctantly.
Peter takes out his phone, putting in her number as she does the same. Then, Colette grabs his hand as he inverts a couple of digits, attempting to correct him. He jerks his hand back quickly, as her touch startles him.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I just wanted..." she attempts an apology.
"No, it's just that I wasn't expecting that," he says.
Colette is utterly embarrassed now... Peter senses that, and begins to make a joke to ease the tension...
"It's usually the guy who tries the phone correction touchy thing," he says with a forced smile.
Colette laughs, hitting his arm playfully.
Peter hates that he is always on edge with the coeds. Even though he has a particular taste, he is hardly ever sure if one of these young ladies will trigger a dark lust. So, for the most part, he tries to avoid touching all together.
Colette never shows up for lab. She's hoping Peter will notice her absence and give her a call. She does need the tutoring, but she's also aiming for something more.
Two weeks go by, Colette is forced to call Peter. She was hoping he would pick up on the hints she was putting out. She thought for sure he would call. She has been feeling more confident lately, especially since, her braces were removed a few months ago. She has gone from not being noticed by the guys on campus, to now getting a huge flood of attention. Well, it's not just the removal of the braces. She’s lost 20 pounds and totally changed her wardrobe, no more frumpy clothes. It's all tight fitting, stylish and sexy outfits for her. She likes her new self, her new self image and her new self confidence. And now, she wants her man. She wants Peter and she'll have him.
"Hello Peter, um, just Peter...the one without a PHD," she attempts a little levity. She has never been good at humor and has awful comedic timing. She knows this, but still, she does love to laugh.
"Yes, this is he... who's speaking?"
"Umm, doesn't my name come up on your phone?"
Peter never stored her number and why would he. He never intended on calling.
"I've been sick. So I haven't made it to the lab," she says.
"Oh, okay.”
Peter still isn't sure who's calling but it doesn't matter. He is always willing to help a student in need, as long as it's convenient and doesn't affect his routine.
"I was wondering if I could make it up," she says, still fishing for any sign of affection.
"Of course," he says..."I usually stay later on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
This wouldn't work for her. She wants him alone. She knows if she ge
ts him alone, he'll have no choice but to fall for her.
"Tuesdays and Thursdays are the worst for me...I know what. You can come to my dorm. There's a ton of practice and study rooms almost always available, on Fridays and Saturdays."
...these rooms are commonly referred to as "the fake out, make out rooms," by the dorm's residents...and this is where Colette’s new found confidence and charm will overwhelm the unsuspecting TA. She believes.
"I'm free after class early Friday evening," he says.
"Great, this is Colette by the way."
She gives him her number again, dorm and dorm room number, in case he can't find the study rooms. Colette knows a few TA's and a few professors for that matter, who've hooked up with students. There's no stigma or taboo here in her mind. Love comes where it comes... She believes.
Peter likes to keep a busy schedule. He likes his days to be filled with routine. Some would call his schedule and routine, purposefully anal, and tightly structured. It has to be, too much deviation from his day to day, and the demons, and the hunger become harder to keep at bay. So, a request by a student, professor or fellow TA, is beyond tough for him to fulfill. Colette has no idea what the hunger of a real killer looks like when unchecked.
"Peter, after class today, can you meet Dr. Singer at the lab? He's bringing in a few good replicas of female skulls for next week's lab.” Says Dr. Hillman.
"Sure thing, professor." Dr. Hillman is Peter’s mentor and dissertation adviser. Peter, seldom, if ever, turns down a request from Dr. Hillman. Besides, the lab is Peter’s home away from home. He's one of the few TA's with a key. If he is not in class, you can certainly find him there...not in the dorms, never in the dorms.
Peter gets to the lab to find Dr. Singer already there, waiting with a load of boxes filled with skulls and study aides for the more advanced undergrads.
"Peter, you have keys to the lab, correct?"
"Yes, Dr. Singer, can I help you with those boxes?"
"Sure...Peter. Let me ask you, why the cultural stuff, why not physical anthropology? Few have the passion and knowledge you have. I'm sure in a matter of years, there'd be a tenure track for you and your eager mind, in the Physical Anthropology Department.”
"Well Dr. Singer, but I really love the cultural stuff; the rituals and customs of prehistoric man, as well as modern man, continue to fascinate me. Besides, I'm taking a degree in biology as well."
"Oh, okay...but you will be staying in the Anthropology Department, correct?"
"For sure."
"Good thing, Peter...our Department is dwindling enough. Let's not lose another brilliant mind to that darn bioengineering and gene splicing Science fiction mumbo jumbo," Dr. Singer laughs.
"Good one," says Peter with a smile.
Time always flies when Peter is in the lab. It has been over two hours since Dr. Singer left him there and an hour since he told Colette he would be at her dorm.
Colette takes her time picking out the perfect slutty, but somewhat respectable outfit. It hugs her curves, just right. It shows a little cleavage, not too much, just enough for a boy to fantasize about what lies beneath. She puts her hair in a ponytail. She read somewhere that guys love a woman in a ponytail. And as a matter of fact, Peter does enjoy seeing a ponytail on a lovely coed. It's great for the pulling, manhandling and dragging. She practices her laugh for when he tells a funny joke or attempts to tell a joke, or tells a really bad joke. It doesn't matter really. She's gonna laugh anyhow. But after an hour passes and Peter neither calls nor comes, she is at a loss.
Peter doesn’t like being late for things. He most certainly doesn't care to miss appointments either. He has to get to Colette. He grabs a skull and study kit, and bolts over to Colette’s dorm.
“Hello Colette, this is Peter…I'm at your dorm. Sorry for the late arrival but time escaped me…”
Colette wants to be angry but she's so happy to hear his voice, and glad to know in just a matter of minutes, she will be with her first college crush. Her first professor or professor’s assistant. She sees no difference really. Her admiration for him is the same.
She sprays herself with just a whisper of channel no.5, runs out of her dorm room and just makes it to the bottom of the stairs, then has a big laugh… she has on the right outfit. She has a ponytail that makes her look carefree. She has fantastic cleavage. But where the hell is her text book, her note pad or pencil. “Remember Colette, this is not a date. It's a study session, dork...slut.”
Peter feels good about showing up, not too nervous about breaking his routine at the moment. Good thing the dorm is virtually empty. On Friday and Saturday nights, the dorm is a ghost town. Except for the real studious types, introverts, or lonely hearts, most students can be found out and about in the streets, cafes, beer halls and music venues of AnnArbor’s lively, upbeat night life.
Colette is hoping to get Peter up to her dorm room. As she grabs her book, she sees her roommate is up and about…“Kelly you going out?” She asks.
“Yeah, my boyfriend’s band is performing at lucky’s in about an hour. So…hmm. Yea.
You coming?”
“Can't. I'm getting tutored tonight,” Colette responses.
Kelly blurts out the biggest laugh...
“Come on now, dressed like that…”
Colette smiles looking at her getup… “shit, a bit trampy, right?”
“Yea…can we say slut much, Col.”
“You might be right, Kelly, but remember that TA I like?”
“Yea, the tall dorky, super shy nerd,” she says with a hint of irony and cynicism.
“Well first, he is not a nerd, is he... He's kinda cool. I think…I got him to come over. He wants to tutor me. I think he's nice.”
“Ok, a cool nerd,” Kelly says…they both laugh.
“Well, I might stay over Dave’s tonight. So, if the tutoring turns into…umm…” As Kelly looks over at the bed, giving Colette a wink.
Colette smiles from ear to ear… “gotta run. He's downstairs waiting.”
Peter was starting to feel a bit apprehensive about being there and was about to take off. Just then Colette arrives.
“Sorry, Peter.”
“No problem,” he says. But it was a problem. Being here away from his routine is a problem.
“Let’s see if there’s a study room available,” says Colette.
She’s hoping for him to make notice of her outfit, but nothing.
They enter a free room. And the study session begins in earnest. An hour goes by, although the session was helpful, Colette is still fixated. She has a brilliant idea as she remembers some strange Aztec thing her roommate showed her the other day. That’s gonna get him to her room for sure.
“Thanks for the help, Peter.”
“No worries.” Peter is happy to help, but he is relieved it’s over, too many coeds out and about in these dorms. Urges and hungers may present themselves. It’s safe back at his place.
“Let’s have you try to make it to lab next week.” Peter says. He is hoping to not have to come back here, ever, if possible.
“Yea, maybe.” Colette means ‘no.’
“Oh, before you go, Peter. There is this cool Aztec knife I have. You wanna see it?”
He definitely does.
“Yea, sure.”
“Okay, come with me.”
She is getting her way. She knew she would. They get to her room. Peter sits on the couch as she looks around for the relic. He’s getting anxious and hot. He decides to take off his jacket. Colette sees this out of the side of her eye, and takes this as an invitation, heads over to Peter on the couch.
“It is hot in here, Peter,” she says in her sultry voice.
Peter is beyond out of his element. He has to go. He has to go, now.
As he reaches over Colette to grab his jacket, he rubs against her breast, his forearm grazing her left nipple. Finally, he is making a move. Colette knew it was gonna happen. She turns her head to face him, pretending to look a
little surprised. She looks down at her breast, smiling, then up at him... "Well, now..." she says.
Peter's eyes light up. She knew it. She's not a tramp or anything, but she has seen that look on a guy's face enough to know that look well. It's the look of a man who wants something, who has a desire. ...But there...just over her shoulder, is where his attention lies, certainly capturing his most intense desire; there's a photo on her mini refrigerator. And what a photo it is. He has never seen anything so magnificent; the light, the pull, the hunger was more intense than he could have ever imagined.
Smiling seductively, she says,"you want something. Don't you?"
She already knows the answer to her rhetorical question. Of course, he wants something. And why wouldn't he. She is beautiful, sexy, fun, and flirty. But Colette is grossly unaware of where his real attention lies, his true gaze.
“…hmm, do I want...what...umm," he can't find the words. He can barely focus on what she is saying or what he is thinking, or feeling for that matter.
He catches himself being distant, "I'm sorry, this is embarrassing..." He says.
"No, don't be embarrassed, Peter. It's fine. You can talk to me," she says with assurance.
"Well... that picture there on the frig..."
Now she is really baffled.. "What picture? What are you talking about..."
What about these breasts, these lips...
"You mean the photo of me and my sister?"
She has no idea what this has got to do with anything.
Peter continues... "Oh, yea...where was that taken? I think I know that bridge..."
He's lying. He doesn't know the bridge or even care about the bridge, but that photo is powerful indeed. Her sister is the true object of his desire. And what lust filled desire...she has the most radiant glow about her, the most intense wanting he has felt in ages, overtakes him.