by S. R. Rashad
“It’s John. John Russo but call me John.”
“Why is everyone still so tense, John? No one escaped, right?”
“Well, someone may have well escaped the way the warden tells it. He was just here and he wasn't happy and he let everyone know it. So, the security is gonna be extra tight for awhile and no one better slip up or the warden will have his head.”
“Crazy, sounds intense…how are you doing, john?”
“I'm fine. But this whole place is a little on edge.”
“That makes for a lot of nervous ex-marines and that can’t be good.”
Jen looks over at the door leading to the holding cell…
“So, that’s where he is?”
“Yes, just remember what we talked about. But if you can help it, just don't say anything, ok. Unless he addresses you, try to remain quiet. I think that would be best.”
“Ok, Laura.”
“Here, comes the guard to let us in. Just do as he says, ok?
“Yes.”
“Hello, counselor.”
“Who is this?”
“She’s another attorney on this case.”
“She’s not going in with you.”
“Why is that? She’s his attorney as well,” I say angrily.
“Ok then, you're not going in. Only one can go in. This is warden willis’ rules.”
“This makes no sense…So, what is she gonna do then.”
“She’s gonna remain her with us.”
“Laura, it's ok. I think he’s right. I’ll stay here. I don't even know why I came this far. I guess I just wanted to impress you…”
“Impress me?”
“yeah, I was starting to think you doubted my commitment.”
“We’ll talk about this later.”
As she says this, I think, what have I done. Trying to toughen up Bambi, why? She’s fine just the way she is. She’s trying to impress me. I'm impressed enough by you, kid. I think you’re alright.
“Ok, Jen. I’ll be in and out. I’ll just tell him what we found and we’re out of here and a long rest for the two of us, deal?”
“Deal,” she says with that smile and enthusiasm of hers.
The guard opens the door…
The doctor sits there. He looks different. There’s something different here…
Laura doesn't see what the doctor sees.
“Hello, doctor I have news.”
What’s wrong with this guy. He’s usually more animated, combative, full of himself.
“You are not alone, counselor,” he says with what I can only believe to be a hint of excitement in his voice.
The doctor sees it. The intense glow emanating from the other side of the door. The pull is strong. He likes it. He likes it a lot.
“Doc, are you ok?”
“Yes, counselor.” He says as he attempts to stand but the shackles won’t allow it.
He seems to be oblivious to the fact that he is chained to the floor and the table, as he tries to peer over Laura’s head, to look through the small glass window in the door.
Laura is starting to get a little concerned and it takes a lot to get her stirred up, but she is getting there.
“Doctor! Are you paying attention. I have news for you.”
Laura has had enough of this weird behavior. It is as though she isn't even in the room. He seems far too preoccupied, far too entranced. Laura looks behind her to try to make out what’s going on. Are the guards taunting him? why is he so riled up. Then it hits her like a light. Her gut was right. It has always been right. She didn't listen to it this time. She let herself get swayed. She is never like this. But Jen, her Bambi, has an effect on her.
It’s coming together now. Jen’s dark brunette curly locks, her green eyes, her less then 5’5 stature, her small frame. She has seen this silhouette countless times in the photos and images of most of the doc’s victims, the same over and over, all the female victims, the spiting image of Jen. She has to get Bambi out of here. She is starting to hate herself for this decision…damn. What the hell. Why didn't she see it before.
“Doctor, we’ll have to continue this another time,” as she motions for the guard.
The guard comes in and leads her out…
“That was quick, counselor.” He says inquisitively.
“I forgot some paperwork,” as she searches for a more convincing lie. Jen sees Laura’s distressed look and decides to follow her lead…
“No, it is my fault. I forgot to bring all the appropriate files.”
“I’ll have to come back.”
We head to the car and I can’t find the words to explain the situation…
And, in what seems like an instant, I become my mother’s daughter as I give her the silent treatment all the way back to Nancy’s. I can’t tell this already freaked out girl anymore freaky stuff. It’ll send her over the top.
“Hey Laura, are you gonna tell me what just happened. Cause you are making an already weird situation weirder. Is there something I'm supposed to learn here. Cause I'm not getting it.”
Jen speaks with a seriousness I haven't heard from her before. Still, what do I tell her, I think the doc has eyes for her, and well, when the doctor has eyes for someone they end up a mutilated corpse.
“Jen hon, I have to be alone for awhile. I’ll chat with you in a bit.”
“So, that’s it. Cause, I just lied for you and I don't know why. I thought we were bonding or something.” She says loudly as her eyes begin to water.
Fuck, Bambi, not now for pete’s sake.
“Listen, Jen. Just stop. Pull it together, lady. I’ll see you in a bit,” as I decide to leave before it gets out of hand.
Jen stands there dumbfounded wanting to cry, as Laura walks off. Her feels are overwhelming her. She feels as though she did something wrong or let Laura down somehow. Maybe Laura’s upset that she came or that she seems weak or that…she doesn’t know what. She wants to confront Laura but she knows Laura will have her way. She is that kind of person and Jen knows Laura is strong willed and all she can really do at this time is wait to see what Laura has to say. That's if, Laura is still willing to say anything at all to her.
I don’t want this case anymore. I don’t want this responsibility and what the hell am I supposed to do about Bambi. That girl is too much, and now the blood crazed doc is getting extra creepy… You know what… To hell with it, I’m going back and confront the creep.
Laura is frightened, furious and focused. She’ll do her job but she will do it her way. The law is the law and she respects and loves It, but there is a protective side to her that is bigger than her love of the law and bigger than her gratitude to Jim and the firm that the doctor’s weird attention to Jen has awakened. There will be hell to pay if he thinks she’ll let him near such a sweet girl. Laura is going back to the evil bastard and that huge scary prison one last time.
First, Laura has to address the tension between her and Jen. Although Laura normally has no problem with confrontation, she is feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment. With so many mixed emotions, she can't trust her reactions right now. So, rather than see Jen face to face. She decides to write her a letter explaining her ‘nonprofessional behavior.’ She decides to write this kind of letter cause any other kind would overwhelm her and she’s not ready to go there, yet. So, the letter has to be about being or not being professional and highlighting strengths and weaknesses. This is Laura’s best way to keep distance from the situation. Otherwise the letter would say how much in just a short time she has grown fond of Jen. How she appreciates her lightheartedness, her warm approach to situations, her ability to not take herself so seriously, her fresh wide eyed school girl attitude and most importantly how she feels she could grow to count her among her dearest friends and countless other small and big things she admires and loves about her, but this wouldn't be that kind of letter.
After she writes the letter, she heads down to the café to get a quick caffeine pick me up, but as she is a
bout to enter the café, she sees Jen sitting there and she looks like a girl who just lost her best friend. Laura needs the coffee but seeing Jen would be too much. So she skips her beloved latte and slips back upstairs and puts the letter under Jen’s door. Then heads out the back to her car.
Laura, you are such a wimp. Why can't you just tell that girl you like her and you're glad you got to know her, but no. You want to avoid your emotions and your truer nature cause…cause…cause, why exactly? You don't even know, coward.
The doctor better be on his best behavior, cause mama ain’t having it, today… Ok, Laura, so it’s just one last time at this imposing prison, one last time through this way too complicated maze, one last time in this dark dungeon of psychos, one last time with these overly juiced, unfriendly guards and one last time alone with him.
“You have everything you need this time, counselor,” says ‘mr authority.’
“Yes, I do.”
“You sure? got ya yoga mat, ya incenses, herbal tea?” the guard’s attempt at humor is beyond Laura. And, definitely in poor taste.
“What?”
“You know, you new age, young urban professionals,” he laughs awkwardly.
“Oh, my mat and my incenses.” She says with an annoyed smirk as she slaps the side of her briefcase…”Ya check, right in here…can I see my client, now?” Laura says with such a seriousness and icy gaze that the guard is having serious regrets about his silly comment.
“Ah, let me just get the door for you, counselor,” as he escorts her into the holding cell.
The doctor witness this and then says in a loud commanding tone…
“Someone is trying to over compensate for some kind of inadequacies…not everyone can be gifted with the ladies, “ he says, as he winks at the guard.
“Remember, we are right here if this guy gets out of hand. Sometimes these psychos step out of bounds and will need an education in manners,” he says, looking intimidatingly at the doctor.
“I’ll be fine, thanks.”
‘Mr authority’ exits the cell while not taking his eyes off the doctor.
“Doctor, are you gonna be weird? If so, let me know now.”
He was weird earlier. When the hunger hits, he loses all self control, all sense of ease. He is transformed to another place. But he has learned tricks and techniques that help him seem normal
“Sorry about that, counselor.”
“Yea, you should be…the reason I’m here is cause the DA wants to make a deal. The end result is, you get to go free.”
“Is that so, counselor?”
“Yes, doc. That’s so.”
“And how is this, counselor?”
“Well, at the time of your arrest, there was no reason for the police to be at Ms Stallman’s house. Let alone break down the door unwarranted. So, as odd as it seems, your rights have been violated.”
“That was quick. You are good, counselor. My sister was right when your firm was suggested,” the doc says with a smile…
“Well, we respect the law is all.”
“And that attorney that was here with you earlier. She helped?”
The Doctor can’t help it. The hunger is strong.
“What attorney? When?” Laura is not going to let him have her Bambi… “Oh, the reporter that was there. I don’t know her. Lilly something or other, I think.” She is gonna lied like she has never lied before, in hopes that the doc buys it and is steered in the wrong direction.
“Yeah, her. She wanted to interview you but they wouldn't let her in, that's all I know.”
“A reporter? I see,” he says not believing her. He knows she's lying.
“Yea reporters can be pains. Can’t they, counselor?” He says smugly.
“Well, doesn’t matter now. You’ll be back in the city and in court soon. So that’s that.”
“Yea, you are right. I need to focus on that, right counselor.”
Chapter 12
Mea Culpa
It never really matters where you cast the blame. It's what you do to get to the other side that has a lasting impact.
It's early Saturday morning, Sgt. Roberts decides to go over to St Mary of Avalon. He’s not sure why he’s going. Maybe, he just wants to sit in a pew and feel God’s presence. But he isn't exactly sure what he wants. He stopped going to Mass when his wife died. Although he grew up Catholic, he hadn't gone to Mass for a good number of years, until his wife said it was their obligation as good Catholics to attend a Parish on a regular basis. They chose St Mary of Avalon cause the Mass was conducted in Latin, which made his wife feel more pious and she loved the organist there and she also liked Father Joseph a lot, cause he did a lot of outreach work with the elderly, the poor and the sick, and always made time to talk with Catholics, and non Catholics, alike.
As he walks past the front garden, he sees Father Joseph leaving the Rectory…
“Hello Father Joseph,” he yells.
Father Joseph waves and smiles, then begins to walk toward him.
“Hello Douglas, I want you to know I understand why you haven't attended Mass lately, but to let you know there is still a place here for you and that God still loves you. And you do know that your June is with Him, now.”
“I know she is, Father.”
“Good, Douglas. I'm glad you know that…Come attend Mass tomorrow.”
“I don't know, Father.”
“I see.”
“No, I don't think you see, Father.”
“Ok, Douglas…you can still go to confession. We are called by the Lord to confess.”
“Maybe, I should.”
“Go inside now, to a confessional, Douglas.”
“Ok, Father. I will.”
“Good, Douglas. It will bring you closer to God.”
Sgt. Roberts is hoping this will help. He is not feeling close to God now, or to his fellows either. He enters a confession booth.
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”
“How long has it been since your last confession?”
“Awhile”
“And what is the nature of the sin, my son”
“I'm a liar, Father.”
“Tell me what is it. What’s on your heart?”
“I have been lying to my men, my department, the Captain and the DA.”
“This sounds serious, son. What is it about?”
“I’ve been having nightmares, memory loss and other crazy symptoms from my PTSD. So, I know it is a matter of time before they take my unit away from me. And how can that be, Father, I helped to start this Taskforce. I was the one who suggested it in the first place.”
“So you are lying about your illness to keep your job, my son.”
“There's more, a lot more, father. Not only have I lied. I've falsified documents and given false testimony. I know since they'll probably force me into retirement soon, I was hoping to get as much of the scum off the street as possible. And when a big fish landed in my lap, I knew this could be my last and greatest arrest; the kinda arrest the Taskforce was created for. But I messed up big time.
And now, they're gonna let that monster go free. This isn't right. A man like this shouldn’t be allowed to roam free. I should've done my job better. I let everyone down; the captain, the DA, my team, just everyone.”
“You can asks God for forgiveness. He is Merciful. Turn to Him, son.”
“I can't just now. I have to set things right.” Sgt. Roberts says with frustration.
“How are you going to do that, my son?”
Sgt. Roberts ends his confession abruptly. He charges out of the confessional like a man on fire.
“Hello, hello my son.” Father Joseph calls out in vain, as Sgt. Roberts is gone.
There’s a huge uproar at the DA’s office. DA Ortiz is going to have to make a deal with Dr.VonNetzer’s lawyers and he doesn't like it. There was faulty police work conducted, from the team which was proving to be the police’s department’s most valued Taskforce. Now, the DA is questioning many o
f the cases he brought to trial based on the team’s work. More importantly, what is Sgt. Roberts up to.
“Hey Linda, can you get me captain Benson on the line or Sgt. Roberts, thanks.”
“Yes, sir”
Linda is able to reach captain Benson immediately.
“DA, I have the captain on the line.”
“Thanks Linda. Send it through, please.”
“Sending it now.”
“Hello captain Benson, what the hell is going on down there. I’m looking like an idiot here, like I have no idea what I’m doing. Your Taskforce is fucking up. They are fucking up royally, my friend.”
“How is that. What's going on?”
“You tell me. Is Sgt. Roberts there?”
“Yes, I think he is.”
“Well, you need to talk with him. And I would like to see the both of you in my office ASAP. I’m not going down with this ship. I tell you.”
“Ok, I’ll talk with him. I’m sure it's just some mix up.”
“Well, you find out and you get over to me.”
“Ok, DA Ortiz. Will do.”
“Thanks.”
The captain has known Douglas Roberts for most of his career at the department. He has trusted his judgment and has known him to be a reliable officer and valued member of this Taskforce and all his previous positions at the 71st. So why all the change. What’s happening here.
Captain Benson needs answers. He needs Sgt. Roberts to come clean... He heads over to Roberts’ office. He sees Sgt. Roberts searching frantically through his desk and file cabinets. He's pouring over documents. The captain stands at the locked door. Sgt. Roberts seldom locks his door, if at all. The captain is getting more nervous as he witness Roberts’ behavior and Roberts’ locked door. He knocks and Sgt. Roberts doesn't seem to notice or pay attention at first. The captain knocks harder and yells out Roberts’ name. Doug looks up at the captain from his manic state, sweaty and out of breath. Then goes over and unlocks the door. And addresses the captain as though nothing is wrong…