by Hugh Walpole
“Cathedral” included not only the daughters of the Canons and what Mr. Martin, in his little town guide-book, called “General Ecclesiastical Phenomena,” but also the two daughters of Puddifoot’s sister, Grace and Annie Trudon; the three daughters of Roger McKenzie, the town lawyer; little Betty Callender, the only child of old, red-faced Major Callender; Mary and Amy Forrester, daughters of old Admiral Forrester; and, of course, the St. Leath girls.
When Joan arrived, then, in the Deanery dining-room there was a fine gathering. Very unsophisticated they would all have been considered by the present generation. Lady Rose and Lady Mary, who were both of them nearer forty than thirty, had of course had some experience of London, and had been even to Paris and Rome. Of the “Others,” at this time, only Betty Callender, who had been born in India, and the Forresters had been farther, in all their lives, than Drymouth. Their lives were bound, and happily bound, by the Polchester horizon. They lived in and for and by the local excitements, talks, croquet, bicycling (under proper guardianship), Rafiel or Buquay or Clinton in the summer, and the occasional (very, very occasional) performances of amateur theatricals in the Assembly Rooms.
Moreover, they were happy and contented and healthy. For many of them Jane Eyre was still a forbidden book and a railway train a remarkable adventure.
Polchester was the world and the world was Polchester. They were at least a century nearer to Jane Austen’s day than they were to George the Fifth’s.
Joan saw, with relief, so soon as she entered the room, that the St. Leath women were absent. They overawed her and were so much older than the others there that they brought constraint with them and embarrassment.
Any stranger, coming suddenly into the room, must have felt its light and gaiety and happiness. The high wide dining-room windows were open and looked, over sloping lawns, down to the Pol and up again to the woods beyond. The trees were faintly purple in the spring sun, daffodils were nodding on the lawn and little gossamer clouds of pale orange floated like feathers across the sky. The large dining-room table was cleared for action, and Gladys Sampson, very serious and important, stood at the far end of the room under a very bad oil-painting of her father, directing operations. The girls were dressed for the most part in white muslin frocks, high in the shoulders and pulled in at the waist and tight round the neck — only the McKenzie girls, who rode to hounds and played tennis beautifully and had, all three of them, faces of glazed red brick, were clad in the heavy Harris tweeds that were just then beginning to be so fashionable.
Joan, who only a month or two ago would have been devoured with shyness at penetrating the fastnesses of the Sampson dining-room, now felt no shyness whatever but nodded quite casually to Gladys, smiled at the McKenzies, and found a place between Cynthia Ryle and Jane D’Arcy.
They all sat, bathed in the sunshine, and looked at Gladys Sampson. She cleared her throat and said in her pounding heavy voice — her voice was created for Committees: “Now all of you know what we’re here for. We’re here to make two banners for the Assembly Rooms and we’ve got to do our very best. We haven’t got a great deal of time between now and June the Twentieth, so we must work, and I propose that we come here every Tuesday and Friday afternoon, and when I say here I mean somebody or other’s house, because of course it won’t be always here. There’s cutting up to do and sewing and plenty of work really for everybody, because when the banners are done there are the flags for the school-children. Now if any one has any suggestions to make I shall be very glad to hear them.”
There was at first no reply to this and every one smiled and looked at the portrait of the Dean. Then one of the McKenzie girls remarked in a deep bass voice:
“That’s all right, Gladys. But who’s going to decide who does what? Very decent of you to ask us but we’re not much in the sewing line — never have been.”
“Oh,” said Gladys, “I’ve got people’s names down for the different things they’re to do and any one whom it doesn’t suit has only got to speak up.”
Soon the material was distributed and groups were formed round the room. A chatter arose like the murmur of bees. The sun as it sank lower behind the woods turned them to dark crimson and the river pale grey. The sun fell now in burning patches and squares across the room and the dim yellow blinds were pulled half-way across the windows. With this the room was shaded into a strong coloured twilight and the white frocks shone as though seen through glass. The air grew cold beyond the open windows, but the room was warm with the heat that the walls had stolen and stored from the sun.
Joan sat with Jane D’Arcy and Betty Callender. She was very happy to be at rest there; she felt secure and safe. Because in truth during these last weeks life had been increasingly difficult — difficult not only because it had become, of late, so new and so strange, but also because she could not tell what was happening. Family life had indeed become of late a mystery, and behind the mystery there was a dim sense of apprehension, apprehension that she had never felt in all her days before. As she sank into the tranquillity of the golden afternoon glow, with the soft white silk passing to and fro in her bands, she tried to realise for herself what had been occurring. Her father was, on the whole, simple enough. He was beginning to suffer yet again from one of his awful obsessions. Since the hour of her earliest childhood she had watched these obsessions and dreaded them.
There had been so many, big ones and little ones. Now the Government, now the Dean, now the Town Council, now the Chapter, now the Choir, now some rude letter, now some impertinent article in a paper. Like wild fierce animals these things had from their dark thickets leapt out upon him, and he had proceeded to wrestle with them in the full presence of his family. Always, at last, he had been, victorious over them, the triumph had been publicly announced, “Te Deums” sung, and for a time there had been peace. It was some while since the last obsession, some ridiculous action about drainage on the part of the Town Council. But the new one threatened to make up in full for the length of that interval.
Only just before Falk’s unexpected return from Oxford Joan had been congratulating herself on her father’s happiness and peace of mind. She might have known the omens of that dangerous quiet. On the very day of Falk’s arrival Canon Ronder had arrived too.
Canon Ronder! How Joan was beginning to detest the very sound of the name! She had hated the man himself as soon as she had set eyes upon him. She had scented, in some instinctive way, the trouble that lay behind those large round glasses and that broad indulgent smile. But now! Now they were having the name “Ronder” with their breakfast, their dinner, and their tea. Into everything apparently his fat fingers were inserted; her father saw his rounded shadow behind every door, his rosy cheeks at every window.
And yet it was very difficult to discover what exactly it was that he had done! Now, whatever it might be that went wrong in the Brandon house, in the Cathedral, in the town, her father was certain that Ronder was responsible, — but proof. Well, there wasn’t any. And it was precisely this absence of proof that built up the obsession.
Everywhere that Ronder went he spoke enthusiastically about the Archdeacon. These compliments came back to Joan again and again. “If there’s one man in this town I admire — —” “What would this town be without — —” “We’re lucky, indeed, to have the Archdeacon — —” And yet was there not behind all these things a laugh, a jest, a mocking tone, something that belonged in spirit to that horrible day when the elephant had trodden upon her father’s hat?
She loved her father, and she loved him twice as dearly since one night when on driving up to the Castle he had held her hand. But now the obsession had killed the possibility of any tenderness between them; she longed to be able to do something that would show him how strongly she was his partisan, to insult Canon Ronder in the market-place, to turn her back when he spoke to her — and, at the same time, intermingled with this hot championship was irritation that her father should allow himself to be obsessed by this. He who was so far
greater than a million Ronders!
The situation in the Brandon family had not been made any easier by Falk’s strange liking for the man. Joan did not pretend that she understood her brother or had ever been in any way close to him. When she had been little he had seemed to be so infinitely above her as to be in another world, and now that they seemed almost of an age he was strange to her like some one of foreign blood. She knew that she did not count in his scheme of life at all, that he never thought of her nor wanted her. She did not mind that, and even now she would have been tranquil about him had it not been for her mother’s anxiety. She could not but see how during the last weeks her mother had watched every step that Falk took, her eyes always searching his face as though he were keeping some secret from her. To Joan, who never believed that people could plot and plan and lead double lives, this all seemed unnatural and exaggerated.
But she knew well enough that her mother had never attempted to give her any of her confidence. Everything at home, in short, was difficult and confused. Nobody was happy, nobody was natural. Even her own private history, if she looked into it too closely, did not show her any very optimistic colours. She had not seen Johnny St. Leath now for a fortnight, nor heard from him, and those precious words under the Arden Gate one evening were beginning already to appear a dim unsubstantial dream. However, if there was one quality that Joan Brandon possessed in excess of all others, it was a simple fidelity to the cause or person in front of her.
Her doubts came simply from the wonder as to whether she had not concluded too much from his words and built upon them too fairy-like a castle.
With a gesture she flung all her wonders and troubles out upon the gold- swept lawn and trained all her attention to the chatter among the girls around her. She admired Jane D’Arcy very much; she was so “elegant.” Everything that Jane wore became her slim straight body, and her pale pointed face was always a little languid in expression, as though daily life were an exhausting affair and not intended for superior persons. She had been told, from a very early day, that her voice was “low and musical,” so she always spoke in whispers which gave her thoughts an importance that they might not otherwise have possessed. Very different was little Betty Callender, round and rosy like an apple, with freckles on her nose and bright blue eyes. She laughed a great deal and liked to agree with everything that any one said.
“If you ask me,” said Jane in her fascinating whisper, “there’s a lot of nonsense about this old Jubilee.”
“Oh, do you think so?” said Joan.
“Yes. Old Victoria’s been on the throne long enough, ’Tis time we had somebody else.”
Joan was very much shocked by this and said so.
“I don’t think we ought to be governed by old people,” said Jane. “Every one over seventy ought to be buried whether they wish it or no.”
Joan laughed aloud.
“Of course they wouldn’t wish it,” she said.
Laughter came, now here, now there, from different parts of the room. Every one was very gay from the triple sense that they were the elect of Polchester, that they were doing important work, and that summer was coming.
Jane D’Arcy tossed her head.
“Father says that perhaps he’ll be taking us to London for it,” she whispered.
“I wouldn’t go if any one offered me,” said Joan. “It’s Polchester I want to see it at, not London. Of course I’d love to see the Queen, but it would probably be only for a moment, and all the rest would be horrible crowds with nobody knowing you. While here! Oh! it will be lovely!”
Jane smiled. “Poor child. Of course you know nothing about London. How should you? Give me a week in London and you can have your old Polchester for ever. What ever happens in Polchester? Silly old croquet parties and a dance in the Assembly Rooms. And never any one new.”
“Well, there is some one new,” said Betty Callender, “I saw her this morning.”
“Her? Who?” asked Jane, with the scorn of one who has already made up her mind to despise.
“I was with mother going through the market and Lady St. Leath came by in an open carriage. She was with her. Mother says she’s a Miss Daubeney from London — and oh! she’s perfectly lovely! and mother says she’s to marry Lord St. Leath — —”
“Oh! I heard she was coming,” said Jane, still scornfully. “How silly you are, Betty! You think any one lovely if she comes from London.”
“No, but she was,” insisted Betty, “mother said so too, and she had a blue silk parasol, and she was just sweet. Lord St. Leath was in the carriage with them.”
“Poor Johnny!” said Jane. “He always has to do just what that horrible old mother of his tells him.”
Joan had listened to this little dialogue with what bravery she could. Doom then had been pronounced? Sentence had fallen? Miss Daubeney had arrived. She could hear the old Countess’ voice again. “Claire Daubeney- Monteagle’s daughter — such, a nice girl — Johnny’s friend — —”
Johnny’s friend! Of course she was. Nothing could show to Joan more clearly the difference between Joan’s world and the St. Leath world than the arrival of this lovely stranger. Although Mme. Sarah Grand and others were at this very moment forcing that strange figure, the New Woman, upon a reluctant world, Joan belonged most distinctly to the earlier generation. She trembled at the thought of any publicity, of any thrusting herself forward, of any, even momentary, rebellion against her position. Of course Johnny belonged to this beautiful creature; she had always known, in her heart, that her dream was an impossible one. Nevertheless the room, the sunlight, the white dresses, the long shining table, the coloured silks and ribbons, swam in confusion around her. She was suddenly miserable. Her hands shook and her upper lip trembled. She had a strange illogical desire to go out and find Miss Daubeney and snatch her blue parasol from her startled hands and stamp upon it.
“Well,” said Jane, “I don’t envy any one who marries Johnny — to be shut up in that house with all those old women!”
Betty shook her head very solemnly and tried to look older than her years.
The afternoon was drawing on. Gladys came across and closed the windows.
“I think that’s about enough to-day,” she said. “Now we’ll have tea.”
Joan’s great desire was to slip away and go home. She put her work on the table, fetched her coat from the other end of the room.
Gladys stopped her. “Don’t go, Joan. You must have tea.”
“I promised mother — —” she said.
The door opened. She turned and found herself close to the Dean and Canon Ronder.
The Dean came forward, nervously rubbing his hands together as was his custom. “Well, children,” he said, blinking at them. Ronder stood, smiling, in the doorway. At the sight of him Joan was filled with hatred — vehement, indignant hatred; she had never hated any one before, unless possibly it was Miss St. Clair, the French mistress. Now, from what source she did not know, fear and passion flowed into her. Nothing could have been more amiable and genial than the figure that he presented.
As always, his clothes were beautifully neat and correct, his linen spotless white, his black boots gleaming.
He beamed upon them all, and Joan felt, behind her, the response that the whole room made to him. They liked him; she knew it. He was becoming popular.
He had towards them all precisely the right attitude; he was not amiable and childish like the Dean, nor pompous like Bentinck-Major, nor sycophantic like Ryle. He did not advance to them but became, as it were, himself one of them, understanding exactly the way that they wanted him.
And Joan hated him; she hated his red face and his neatness and his broad chest and his stout legs — everything, everything! She also feared him. She had never before, although for long now she had been conscious of his power, been so deeply aware of his connection with herself. It was as though his round shadow had, on this lovely afternoon, crept forward a little and touched with its dim grey for the first time t
he Brandon house.
“Canon Ronder,” Gladys Sampson cried, “come and see what we’ve done.”
He moved forward and patted little Betty Callender on the head as he passed. “Are you all right, my dear, and your father?”
It appeared that Betty was delighted. Suddenly he saw Joan.
“Oh, good evening, Miss Brandon.” He altered his tone for her, speaking as though she were an equal.
Joan looked at him; colour flamed in her cheeks. She did not reply, and then feeling as though in an instant she would do something quite disgraceful, she slipped from the room.
Soon, after gently smiling at the parlourmaid, who was an old friend of hers because she had once been in service at the Brandons, she found herself standing, a little lost and bewildered, at the corner of Green Lane and Orange Street. Lost and bewildered because one emotion after another seemed suddenly to have seized upon her and taken her captive. Lost and bewildered almost as though she had been bewitched, carried off through the shining skies by her captor and then dropped, deserted, left, in some unknown country.
Green Lane in the evening light had a fairy air. The stumpy trees on either side with the bright new green of the spring seemed to be concealing lamps within their branches. So thick a glow suffused the air that it was as though strangely coloured fruit, purple and orange and amethyst, hung glittering against the pale yellow sky, and the road running up the hill was like pale wax.
On the other side Orange Street tumbled pell-mell into the roofs of the town. The monument of the fierce Georgian citizen near which Joan was standing guarded with a benevolent devotion the little city whose lights, stealing now upon the air, sprinkled the evening sky with a jewelled haze. No sound broke the peace; no one came nor went; only the trees of the Lane moved and stirred very faintly as though assuring the girl of their friendly company.
Never before had she so passionately loved her town. It seemed to-night when she was disturbed by her new love, her new fear, her new worldly knowledge, to be eager to assure her that it was with her in all her troubles, that it understood that she must pass into new experiences, that it knew, none better indeed, how strange and terrifying that first realisation of real life could be, that it had itself suffered when new streets had been thrust upon it and old loved houses pulled down and the river choked and the hills despoiled, but that everything passes and love remains and homeliness and friends.