by Dalia Wright
“How’s the baby?”
“She’s doing well.” The baby had been with Sarah for just over a year, though it wasn’t hers. She had no clue whose it was. Maybe one day we will find out together. But on the other hand, fear tugged at her. She had raised the child as her own. She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to lose Emma. Emma was like her daughter. They had grown close over the past year that they had been together.
“Oh,” Hanna’s voice snapped her back to reality, “Nathan, there you are!” Sarah watched as Hanna rushed off, pulling a man into a hug and greeting him with a wide smile.
His blue eyes sparkled as he hugged her back. He pulled away and ran his fingers through the blond hair on top of his head. Sarah heard him laugh softly before he and Hanna headed back over to where Sarah stood.
“Sarah, this is Nathan. He’s a friend of mine.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, extending his hand to her. As soon as his fingers touched hers, her heart skipped a beat. Warmth rushed through her body. They shook hands and Sarah nodded, not trusting her voice to speak for her.
“I’m so glad you’re here, but I realized I didn’t need your help. I’m so sorry!” Hanna looked away, running her fingers through her hair.
Sarah’s head tilted to the left. Is there something going on between them? She had not expected something like this from Hanna. Hanna was an engaged woman. She had left the Amish community to be with the man she loved. Had she, or has she, been cheating on him? Nee, that doesn’t sound like Hanna. Hanna valued her husband-to-be.
“Oh, and, um, I’ve actually got to get going. Ken is going to pick me up.” She flashed Sarah a smile and then turned and headed for the parking lot. A couple of paces away, she stopped and turned back. “Sarah, everyone has already headed back, haven’t they?” Hanna bit her lip.
“Jah, but it’s fine. I’ll find a way home.”
Hanna turned to the man she had greeted with a hug. “Nathan, would you do me a huge favor?”
“Oh, nee.” Sarah saw where this was going. She did not want to be difficult. “I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t,” Hanna protested. She turned back to the man, Nathan. “We were supposed to have coffee after the market. She is from the community where I grew up. It is only an hour drive; will you please take her home? No matter how much she protests. It would be a huge favor to me.”
“I’d be happy to.” He gave Hanna a wide smile. Hanna’s eyes sparkled.
“Thank you, Nathan.” And with that she walked away.
Sarah cleared her throat. She was sure the man had not actually meant it. He was just trying to get Hanna off his back, right?
“Well, it was nice to meet you.” She gave him a smile, unsure of how she was supposed to leave the conversation for fear of being rude.
“I’m parked over here,” he said, turning on his heel and heading towards a group of cars.
Sarah’s mouth dropped open.
She scrambled after him, still in shock. “You don’t actually have to take me back. I mean, you weren’t going to, were you?”
“Of course I was. I told Hanna I would.”
“But-”
“It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”
Nathan turned and gave her a soft smile. Sarah did not resist. She just returned the smile as they made their way towards a black car and he lifted the keys to unlock it.
Not knowing much about cars, Sarah still thought it was nice as she slid in. Sure, she had no idea of the make or model, but it was still nice. The best part was that there was air conditioning. In the summer heat it was nice to get in a car with air conditioning. Sarah blew out a deep breath.
“Does this happen often?”
“Hanna forgetting that we have a coffee date? No, it has never happened before this.” It was odd, really. They had been doing this since before Hanna had left the community. Sarah’s brow furrowed. She tried not to let herself feel offended by it. She tried not to be angry. It was just a mistake. After all, what good would that do? Everyone made mistakes.
“She’s normally pretty detail-oriented. I’ve never seen her forget something before. Have you known Hanna long?” Sarah turned to look at the man as he pulled out onto the street.
He bit his lip, focusing on the street in front of them. “Yes.”
“How did you two meet?”
“Um, through someone else.” He shook his head, as if he was actually trying to shake something away. “But that was a while ago, like I said. All in the past.”
Sarah was left more confused than she had been. Not so much by what he said, but more so by the way he acted. Instead of saying anything, she just nodded.
“You work at the market, right?”
“Jah.” For some reason, being around this man, she didn’t feel the need to use ‘proper’ English as some people called it. She didn’t feel the need to edit herself.
“Hanna loves it there.” She did. Whenever they met she always remarked to Sarah that she missed working at the booth. The four girls had had such a blast together; now it was just Sarah and Molly who remained from those four. Emma had gotten married right before Hanna had left the community. Molly was getting ready to be married as well. Which meant that out of those four girls, Sarah would be the only one left.
She tried not to think about it. After all, things just wouldn’t be the same, but she would keep going and that was all she could tell herself. Gott has a plan for me, she reminded herself. He had gifted her a child; He wouldn’t leave her to clothe and feed the thing alone.
“Is the market where you met Hanna?” She still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on with her best friend and this man, despite Ken, the man Hanna was supposed to marry.
“In a way, yea.” He didn’t seem willing to give up much information on him and Hanna, which didn’t help her feeling about him, though Sarah didn’t want to voice that opinion quite yet. She wanted to feel this situation out a little more; if she was going to confront someone, it would be Hanna, and only when she was sure of something going on.
Right now there is nothing to be sure of. Although she couldn’t deny the fact that something had been up with Hanna and this man, she wasn’t sure it was that Hanna and he were together. There were many other things it could be, right?
Sarah glanced over at the man as he made his way onto the highway and towards her community. Maybe he knows someone from there, she thought. She could ask around, or she could see what Hanna said about him if asked. Though she might not be able to trust Hanna. The thought bothered her more than she wanted to admit.
Sarah had Nathan drop her off just outside of the community. It wasn’t that she didn’t want people to know about him, it was that she didn’t want him to know about someone.
Sarah crossed over to the carriage that she and her parents had taken to church. She wasn’t paying attention when she reached for the handle and pulled the door open. She glanced over to see her mother talking to a group of women, most likely about the upcoming events. When she stepped into the carriage she tore her attention away from them. Her eyes locked on the small bundle in front of her. A baby lay on the seat in front of her. Well, not on the seat, but in a carrier. But this wasn’t right. Her parents didn’t have a baby. She didn’t have a baby. No one who would have taken this carriage had a baby.
Sarah stared down at the note on the child. The bobli watched her carefully, letting out a soft noise as Sarah reached for her. Carefully she plucked the note up and opened it.
Sarah,
I know you will take good care of my baby. Be kind to her and raise her right.
Thank you.
She read and reread the words over and over again. They were all perfect, typed out and printed off. But why? Who could have done this?
Sarah still hadn’t figured it out. She still wondered who had left Emma with her, but she hadn’t let that get in the way of her being a mother. Thankfully, it had happened at church, otherwise the
re might have been a whole bunch of rumors, but no one could deny that she had found the baby one Sunday in February when everyone was there. Sarah glanced around as she stepped onto her parents’ property. She had thought about finding somewhere of her own but didn’t see the point. She would marry soon. Maybe. The truth was, most men weren’t interested in a woman who already had a child, no matter how she came by the baby. So she may never marry. She may just grow old and raise a daughter on her own. And then what would I tell her? Sarah wondered. It had been something she wondered a lot, but something she knew she still had a couple of years to figure out.
Eventually, her parents would pass away and they would leave her this house. Not that she was hoping that would be any time soon.
“There she is,” her mother cooed to Emma as soon as Sarah opened the door. Grandma Mary loved to spend time with her granddaughter, which made things much easier on Sarah if she ever needed a break. “Why are you back so early? Is Hanna okay?”
“She is… I think. She had to leave; she, uh… forgot about our coffee date.”
Mary’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not like her.”
“Nee, that’s what I thought. But… there was this man.”
Mary’s head tilted to the left. “A man?”
“Jah, Hanna ran into him and then all of a sudden she had to go meet Ken.” Sarah paced into the room and sat down on the ground in front of her daughter, who crawled towards her. She bit her lip. “It was odd. Very unlike Hanna.”
“Indeed. I’ve never known her to forget about your coffee date.”
Sarah mentally shook herself. “Either way, it just means I get to spend my time with you.” Her eyes sparkled as she stared down at her daughter. Sarah reached out and scooped Emma into her arms. The baby giggled.
Chapter 2
Nathan couldn’t stop thinking about her for some reason. It was unlike Hanna to forget about plans, and from what Sarah had said, they did this every week. So why would Hanna have agreed to meet Ken at that time? And really, couldn’t her fiancé wait a little longer? They lived together, after all.
It’s not that he’d minded taking Sarah home; actually he quite liked her. They talked most of the way back to her community. Not about anything special, just chit-chat. She wasn’t what he would have expected from an Amish woman. He hadn’t met Hanna while she still considered herself Amish. Actually, he hadn’t known her all that long to begin with.
He removed the dead flowers from the vase.
“Hey, babe,” Nathan whispered, lowering the fresh flowers into the vase. “I just wanted to stop by and see you. I figured it’s about time I changed the flowers out.”
Of course she didn’t say anything. Not that he expected her to. His late wife had long since stopped talking to him, but still he sat there, staring at the headstone. It had been a few months now, though he didn’t like keeping track of how long it had been without her. His friends said he needed to start thinking about moving on. They said she would want him to. He’d had a hard time not knocking them out for that. They don’t have any right to tell me what to do. He didn’t want to move on from Anna. She was… everything to him. When he had taken his vows he had promised he would love her until his dying day - not hers.
“I figured you’d be here.”
Her voice didn’t shock him. Hanna had taken to spending a lot of time with him.
“Where else should I go?”
“How about home?”
Nathan shrugged. It wasn’t his home. It had been their home. He was in the process of getting a new place but it wasn’t fast enough.
Hanna sat down beside him and reached out for his hand. “Thank you for today.”
“It’s not like you to forget a date.” He said, not moving his hand away from hers.
Hanna sighed. “I’ve had a lot on my mind, I guess.” They sat there, not saying anything for a long time. “You know she-”
“Don’t. Don’t tell me she wouldn’t want this.”
“You’ve been doing a lot better.” She was right. It used to be every day, all day. Nathan hadn’t known what to do, so he’d come here. All the time. He hardly went home unless it was to sleep. It was hard enough not to start drinking. But he knew that was not something she’d have wanted. “It’s been about a week, right?”
“Eight days.” Lots of time for the flowers to die out in the elements.
“She’d be glad. She would want you living, not just… going on, Nate.”
He shrugged. He knew she was right, as much as he didn’t like admitting it. His wife would want him to keep living, for the both of them. But she wasn’t the one going through this. To lose so much all at once really gave a person a reason to stop wanting to live.
Nate turned to Hanna. “Is Ken in the car?” She nodded. “Alright,” he pushed himself up and dusted his jeans off, “let’s go get something to eat.”
Hanna smiled, jumping to her feet. “I’ve got just the place in mind.”
Chapter 3
Sarah couldn’t seem to get the man off her mind. She wasn’t sure why, but the next morning when he and Hanna showed up in front of the stall, Sarah was left speechless.
“I hope I can make yesterday up to you.” Hanna gave her a wide smile.
“Of course.” Sarah was sure she could get the van to leave without her; after all, it was Hanna they were talking about. She glanced down at her watch. It was almost closing time.
Once the van was gone, Hanna blew out a deep breath. “How is everyone doing?” She asked her usual question.
“Fine.” Sarah shrugged. She wasn’t sure what to tell Hanna. The truth is, no one had been up to anything interesting. The harvest was around the corner and everyone was prepping as much as they could. There would be lots to do that month and the more prepared everyone was, the better it would go.
“Everyone keeping busy?”
“Oh, yes. How are you and Ken doing?” Sarah glanced over at Nathan to see his reaction to Ken’s name.
“Good! He’s been busy with work, but that’s just like him. We’re thinking of taking a vacation soon, just deciding on where to go and then we are going to book the tickets! I can’t believe this will be my first time on a plane. I’m so excited. I just hope it doesn’t crash, and I hope I don’t get sick on the flight or something like that. I would feel so bad if I did!” Hanna’s eyes sparkled as she talked. The three of them headed towards the café that Hanna and Sarah normally went to. Is he coming with us? Sarah wondered. She didn’t say anything as they came to a stop in front of the flashing lights and waited.
“I think you would love New York.”
Hanna snorted. “Let’s start out with something a little smaller first.” Her eyes sparkled. She turned to Sarah. The light changed and the three started walking. “Don’t you wish you could travel?”
“It would be nice,” Sarah admitted, but with Emma in her life, all her money was going to go to her daughter. That way, if Emma wanted to go to English college or something, she could. No matter the price.
They crossed the street and headed into the café.
“What will it be?” Nathan asked, taking Sarah by surprise.
“London fog for me, hot chocolate for her,” Hanna said before Sarah could speak.
“Alright.” He nodded and walked towards the counter. Hanna headed over to find a table for the three of them.
“I didn’t realize he was going to be here,” Sarah remarked as they sat down together.
“Oh, yea. I’m actually not going to be able to take you home tonight. I have to meet with a client, so I convinced Nate to do it. Well, really he owes me a favor so he’s going to do it to get me off his back.” Hanna laughed softly.
“How did you two meet?”
“Oh, um. Through a friend.”
Sarah waited for more, but despite the fact that Sarah didn’t say a word, Hanna seemed unwilling to give anything up other than that. She cleared her throat, looking all around the room except at Sarah.
> What is going on with her? Sarah wondered.
“Are you courting anyone?” Hanna asked out of the blue.
“Nee.” Sarah was far too busy to be courting anyone. She only got half of the weekends off after the market, and other than that she didn’t have free time. Even if she did, all her free time went towards her child now.
“I’m sure you will find someone.”
Did Hanna sound happy when she said that? But that doesn’t make sense. Why would Hanna be happy that she wasn’t courting anyone? The more time she spent with her friend, the more her friend confused her.
“Alright, a London fog and a hot chocolate.” Nathan placed a cup down in front of each girl.
“Thank you.” Sarah gave him a smile. He returned it, his brown eyes sparkling as they locked on hers.
Sarah’s heart skipped a beat.
She couldn’t quite place why, so she tried to ignore it instead of thinking about it. She glanced over to see Hanna and Nate. They didn’t look at each other like they were in love. She’d seen that look more than people realized. People thought that since she was Amish, everyone in her community was innocent and never knew love, or heart-break, or anything else that English teenagers went through. That wasn’t true, of course.
Sarah took a sip of her hot chocolate. “Did you and Ken get things sorted out?”
“Yes! Everything is in order,” Hanna said without missing a beat.
“I’m glad to hear that. What was wrong?” After all, it must have been something big, right?
“Oh, nothing too major. Ken just needed my help with some stuff,” Hanna shrugged.
Sarah still couldn’t fight the feeling that something was wrong with her friend; despite the fact that Hanna wouldn’t tell her what, she was sure of it. Sarah knew that woman better than anyone else did and Sarah knew that Hanna was hiding something. When the time came for Hanna to leave, and for Nate to drive Sarah home, they made their way out to his car. The air was colder than she remembered but she tried not to think about it. They both slid into the car and Sarah watched as he gunned the engine. Although it was still early, the sky had turned dark while they were getting coffee. I don’t like this. In this state the weather changed faster than anyone realized. She had heard the girls at the market talking about the chance of a tornado.