by Tara Wimble
Vianne is absent when she makes it into the locker room and tosses her bag to the floor. She quickly changes out of her shirt and puts on her vest before finding her clean uniform. From there it’s the routine of putting on her name badge, clipping on her belt and stocking everything on it. Her gun, always last, sits in her hand before she holsters it too.
“You’re early.” Her partner walks through with her phone in her hand. Vianne looks like she’s been awake for hours. “Good night?”
Hope steers very clear of that question.
Luckily she doesn’t have to scramble to cover herself with an alternate question as her patrol captain, Christenne Letterman, strides into the locker room. She has her head down and is looking at a letter in her hand. Hope stands quickly despite the shift not starting yet. “Captain.”
“Hope I was just looking for you.”
Vianne fakes disinterest and opens her locker to start getting ready but peers out from behind it. Christenne holds out the letter for Hope to take with a proud smile.
“What’s this?”
“Official response from Internal Investigations.”
Hope scans the words underneath the letter head not knowing what to expect. Her captain steals the punchline before she even gets to it. The excitement streams from her.
“The appeal guys finally came through.” Christenne punches at Hope’s shoulder. “You’re getting your medal.”
Hope covers the part of her shoulder that Christenne just punched and stares blankly up at her Captain. She didn’t expect those words to come out of her mouth. Ever. “What?”
“Holy crap, Hope.” Vianne beams in excitement.
“I don’t understand.”
“Some of the higher ups finally rattled Rollins’s cage and since Scully isn’t in the department anymore he couldn’t hide behind her testimony. They’re refuting the decision. You did your job and now you’re getting the reward for it.”
Honestly, she hadn’t expected this.
“I’m gonna call Sara and tell her.” Vianne claps a little and it startles her. “She’s gonna give you such a hard time over this. Especially when you turn up to the benefit.”
“They’re giving me the medal at the benefit?” Hope exclaims. The Police Benefit at the end of the month is the department’s annual chance to make everyone dust off their regulation blues and make nice with the people that pay their wages. It’s bullshit. “Jesus, they must need the good press.”
“Or they just want to make a big deal out of you.” Christenne taps her shoulder. “Ever thought about that?”
Once, she thinks.
“Tides turning.” Christenne opens her locker. She’s the only patrol captain that still has one with the rest of them. Inside of hers are pictures of her husband and kids. How he supports Christenne on this job Hope will never know. Her captain has had more close calls than she’s had. “You didn’t hear it from me but someone spilled that Rollins’s on the out.”
“Are you kidding?” Vianne voices her words. “Who’re they bringing in?”
Christenne shrugs but there’s no doubt she’s already been told. There’s no way she’ll spill it before it’s time though so Hope fixes her badge on and double checks that she’s gotten everything before calling Vianne. “Roll call.”
“See you out there Hope!”
Hope nods at her Captain and passes some of the rookies coming in. “Don’t be late Harris.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Uma’s meant to sound serious but that voice of hers always turns playful at the last second. She’s going to be one to watch.
Vianne catches her just before they reach the brief room. Her hand tugs at her elbow and Hope stops. “You alright?”
“Me?” Vianne is still smiling. “What about you? Are you alright?”
She’s not sure. This is, this is something else entirely.
“Yeah, yeah, look, talk about this later alright?” Hope heads inside to take a seat before Christenne comes in to start the morning off. Vianne takes a seat next to her, wearing that grin and Hope let’s a small flicker of amusement pass over her face. “If you tell Sara about this-”
“Too late.” Vianne murmurs.
“Morning everyone.” Christenne comes in through a different door with the rookie she’s showing the ropes to, Julie, following not too far behind. “We have some points to address before I send you all out today so if everyone could just-”
Hope tunes her out as the news sinks in.
The department investigated her actions thoroughly for over a month before they let her return to duty, demoted and shamed, and she’d been advised to appeal their decision after the dust had settled. As her Captain, Christenne had taken it personally that one of her officers had been targeted as part of a management war being waged between the patrol commanding officer, Ian Rollins, and the deputy chief of the LAPD during his departmental tenure.
After her fall from grace he requested to be transferred from her department, something about not looking at her face every day, and wound up heading police training and education but not before he made sure to see it that Scully was promoted to Detective in Special Operations. Hope attended that ceremony just to watch Rollins squirm as he handed Scully the position that she was inches away from.
Eleven years down the drain and then they insulted her more by running her through seven different rookies before she complained and Vianne was assigned to her. Vianne didn’t recoil at her attitude, she pushed back, even though sometimes Hope saw it scared her. Yet she was the only one that did and she’s the only one left standing next to her now.
Vianne taps her leg with her foot. “We’re up.”
Christenne is handing out assignments. She looks up at them. “Sorenson and Lee you’ve got-”
Vianne nudges her. “Ten says campus route.”
Hope jeers at the comment. “That’s not even a bet.”
Christenne sighs and says; “Swinging over the campus and calls” with a certain regret.
Hope grits her teeth and nods, muttering under her breath. “Well, I’d hate to break a yearlong stint.”
They make it to the parking lot to pick up their squad car, passing Harris and Welsch on the way. “Sorenson, you going to school again?”
Hope flips her off. “You still covering for Carlton, Welsch?”
Megan waves her off though it’s clear as day since Uma is meant to be Carlton’s partner. They got three rookies assigned to them out of the last wave of graduates. Harris was apparently top of her class though there was a problem at first with the amount of tattoos she’d managed to sneak through the academy unchecked. Followed by Julie Johnston, Christenne’s charge and Vera Kimball.
Hope is thankful that Vianne was a transfer and not a rookie. She’s soft spoken but she’s seen that girl’s aim and there’s no one she’d want to have covering her back. Except maybe her girlfriend who definitely has the arms for some sort of boxing.
“So who’re you bringing?” Vianne springs the question on her before she’s even handed the keys over. Vianne prefers driving. Hope prefers being able to fire her gun without having to stop the car first.
“What?”
“Didn’t you just hear Captain?” Vianne pulls her belt on and clips it in place. “You’re getting your medal at the benefit.”
Another excuse for the force to parade out all those honors and awards in front of city investors and anyone who paid enough to come and watch. It’s all bullshit really. “No one said I had to be there.”
“What, am I going to have to accept it on your behalf?” It’s bullshit to her but the ideology seems to have latched itself onto Vianne and the younger recruits.
“Maybe. You’re the poster child for a clean record, not me.”
“Yeah but it’s not going to make half as good a front page when if I step up there and flip them all off instead of you.” Vianne points out. “Rollins will probably want the ground to swallow him up.”
That is a good incentive.
>
“Plus, it’s your moment.”
Vianne wasn’t even in the state for any of this drama. What she’s learned has all been gleaned from months of wearing Hope down and gossip in the department. Yet somehow she’s become her biggest supporter.
“If I don’t go?”
“Then the world keeps turning.”
“If I do go?”
Vianne giggles. A sound that doesn’t really have room in the squad car. “I have an excuse to make Sara fly home and spend a week talking all about you and how much I appreciate you being my partner.”
Hope cracks up. “How much do you want her to come home?”
“She’s got a week long window that she’s should use to finish a project but the tickets are on her wish list.” Vianne gives her a serious look. “It’s been four months.”
It’s been awhile since she saw Vianne request any time off. “You’re a desperate woman.”
“And you’re going to this thing.”
“Because you want to see Sara.” Hope theorizes. It’s not about her then.
“Because I want to see the look on everyone’s face when they call you a hero for what you did.”
Vianne’s words are Janice’s. “I’m not a hero.”
“No?” Vianne questions. “At the very least then, you’re right and they’re wrong. So you’re going.”
Vianne leaves no room for argument as she turns onto the main road towards campus. Hope stares at her for a minute, baffled at how quickly the conversation slipped from her control with some amusement until Vianne catches her.
“Besides, you ah- you can invite whoever gave you that lovely bruise on your neck as your date.”
Hope slaps her hand above her collar so fast that she winces even before the sting. “Damn it.”
Vianne rolls down the window as she laughs, letting the street hear the sound. “It’s not that bad.” Hope pulls down the mirror to check anyway. “Who is it then?”
“What?”
“I thought you’d decided not to-”
“No, it’s-” Her stomach clenches and the muscles in her thighs tighten as she spots the small mark Janice made. That was accidental, no doubt, when Hope had let her stop freaking out in arms to relax into her. “-Janice.”
Oh, she remembers, that’s why she’d decided to let her stay.
“The girl that you uh- the one that tried to kiss you?”
“You saw that?”
“Who didn’t see that?” Vianne smirks. “She must have cornered you then.”
“Don’t tell Sara.”
“Sure.”
“I’m serious.” Hope stresses. For someone she’s only met face to face a handful of times, Sara has made a sport of banter with her girlfriend’s partner. It’s charming to say the least.
“I know.” Somehow Hope knows that Sara is going to get an email before the day is over. “So you bringing her?”
“Probably not.”
“Why? I bet she’d love it.”
“She’s-” What’s the excuse again? Too young, too immature, too- “Damn it.”
“Just ask. I don’t think she’d say no to you. Not many people would.”
“I will stop this car.”
“I’m driving.” Vianne points out helpfully. “Give it a thought. It’d be nice for someone to be sitting with me in your corner while you collect your biggest ‘fuck you’ to the department.”
Hope rubs at her neck but doesn’t say anything. Her family hasn’t come down to L.A since her graduation and she’d feel bad asking them to since her grandparents are getting older. Seeing someone there, Janice even, would be nice.
“I’ll think about it.”
It’s enough for Vianne to declare her argument a success and focus on the day ahead.
Hope thinks about feeling Janice breathing against her forearm this morning and her hair tickling her face as she woke up.
This is a bad idea.
Chapter 8
LEXIE waits a few days before seeing Robin again. She’s getting better at this ‘space’ thing even though it’s killing her. So she makes a habit of waiting until Robin texts her about hanging out before she reaches out to her.
Robin doesn’t have the cross on her wall like she expects, but a poster of WNBA star Abby Quintus. The bible, Robin jokingly points out, is under her pillow at the moment because she fell asleep reading the other night.
“Janice’s stolen my copy of the Hunger Games so I’m waiting for that.” She supplies. They’re here to pick up Robin’s skateboard before they head over to have lunch.
A lot has changed since she came back and not just with Robin.
Janice has mastered her disappearing act. The doorframe is still held together by tape as Janice spends more time out of the room and having not-dates with Hope. Lexie had thought she’d moved on from the hot cop, after not mentioning her since the woman avoided her, until Janice had dropped into conversation that they’d talked. It had made her slightly uneasy to see how quickly Janice had forgiven everything and continued whatever she was doing with the older woman. However Laurel had seen them training in the park once and reported back that Janice had been laughing and beaming. Lexie is happy that she’s happy, really. She just misses her when she’s not around.
In her absence, a silver lining threaded into her and tightened.
There hasn’t been another of those moments, that ‘Robin is gonna kiss the heck out of me’ moment that Lexie has been waiting for, since Janice’s interruption. Or any of those moments that Robin has turned away from her and ran. There have been other moments.
“C’mon.” Robin tugs her out of her room. “You can see the rest of it later.”
Moments like this, when Robin doesn’t let go of their hands straight away, wearing a look just for her. The closeness that’s developed since they hung out before Christmas. Trading sweaters and borrowing time. The bubbly sensation Lexie gets when Robin asks to hang out in her room because she wants to see her.
Moments and kisses are out there somewhere, but Lexie hears the Beatles right now and just wants to hold Robin’s hand.
It’s easier when she’s not thinking about it too much.
When Robin is screaming at her as they race through campus because she’s winning, Lexie isn’t thinking about what’s not happening, she’s thinking about how many seconds are between her and the finish line before she can claim another victory and another collage Mac n’ cheese medal.
When she’s half asleep over her class readings and there’s no one else in the library apart from Robin bringing her coffee because ‘she’s around’, she’s not thinking about whether or not Robin feels ready, but how she got so lucky to have a friend who’ll put up with her complaints about Politics and not roll her eyes.
She doesn’t think about Robin going to church unless she mentions it, and when she does, she doesn’t ask what for. Robin talks about her faith sparingly, like she expects Lexie doesn’t want to listen, but she glistens when she does and Lexie is content to watch her light up.
The closest she gets to thinking about it is when she comes to pick Robin up after her Philosophy class. She leaves her bike at home in favor of walking. She’s been cycling a lot lately, picking up extra hours at the Bike Store just so she can ride home at night and weave through campus and it’s obstacles with her light shining the way.
Tonight she kind of wants to prolong the journey.
She waits outside, leaning against the opposite wall with poster tacks digging into her back, for Robin to appear. It’s no surprise that she’s one of the last out probably because someone had to wake her up before they all left her in there. Robin pushes back the blue beanie on her head so it stops covering her eyes and spots her.
It’s the little things like the way she smiles without abandon or thought at seeing her that gives her Hope. For all the doubts and the need to wait, Robin doesn’t hide anything or shield her emotions from her. It’s a blessing and a curse.
Robin shoves
the lone piece of paper, blank, back into her bag. It’s falling apart at the seams and ripped from where Robin has come off her skateboard or thrown it across the floor. “Didn’t think you’d seen my text.”
“It buzzed while I was tweeting.” Lexie admits. “You almost missed me though.”
Robin scoffs. “I could never do that.”
A few of Robin’s classmates wave her off as they walk down the steps. Lexie is a step ahead when she asks: “How was class?”
“Thrilling. I think we all came away with a new perspective.” Robin deadpans.
“On what?”
A shrug. “I think they’ll cover that in the next lecture.”
This is the same response she gets from asking about her communications classes, expect Robin usually throws in a pun about hearing aids. “How are you passing your classes?”
Robin points finger guns in her direction before blowing imaginary smoke from the top of them. “This sweet smile right here.”
“Charmer.”
“Jealous?”
Lexie rolls her eyes sarcastically. “Um, yeah, I need a smile -and- this body to pull my As.”
Robin makes a show of switching her bag from one shoulder to the other, freeing up the hand between them. “I’m sure your personality works wonders for them as well.”
“This metaphor is making me feel a little gross.”
“Yeah, hey-” Robin taps her knuckles again and Lexie jumps before she falls and just turns her palm over and under and- they’re holding hands. “Did- do-”
Her stutter passes as indecision and Robin swallows before approaching again. Lexie looks straight ahead to stop herself from grinning stupidly and proudly in Robin’s face. They’re holding hands. They’re doing this again.
That’s not to say that the hand she holds doesn’t shake. Robin hides her nerves well but Lexie can feel it. The new uncertainty that’s come between them. Yet she will hold it carefully until everything has settled.
“I was thinking about,” Robin starts again. “We could go to the game tonight.”
Lexie teases their hands by swinging them slightly. “Amy’s game?”
“Laurel tweeted me last night about it.” Robin nods, swinging along with her. “They’re doing quite well.”