by Tara Wimble
The one that he thought she was protecting when she started this mess. Why else would she take a run at a woman building harder and stronger than her? With the weight of the law on her side.
Laurel keeps going as Amy runs back to the middle of the field. Kisses are definitely blown. But Janice stalls, feeling herself ensnared in Lexie's view and turns her head.
The crowd cheers like thunder all around them for the few seconds that they meet each other's eyes.
A stranger.
An apology.
A regret that Lexie had shoved deep into her pockets and a finality that Janice couldn't return.
But.
What now?
What now after Lexie has overstepped and Janice has made a mistake?
She knows where Janice has been this weekend and apart of her hopes that the reunion was easier on her. That she got what she wanted. But now that's been repaired, where does it leave them?
Here. Standing in a cheering crowd pretending to play nice. Running pointless questions through her head like they’re going to help her figure anything out. Waiting for Janice to make the first move because when it comes down to things that matter, Janice always seems to be braver than her.
Is it going to be this now?
Or will it be something else?
There's still so much to work out and words to be aired that a downtrodden apology in her room won't cover.
But the crashing noise comes to an end and as it breaks Janice smiles. At her.
“What I tell you,” Robin beams. “It all worked out.”
Chapter 17
HOPE’S posted up on her squad car outside of King’s when Janice walks out the door. “You stalking me or something?” She says with a smirk as she moves closer. “I’d hate to have to call the police.”
“That would suck.” Hope plays along, quickly checking that they’re clear before she gives Janice a short kiss. “I’d hate to be on the wrong side of the LAPD.”
“Oh yeah, I hear Sorenson is a real hardass.” Janice fires back.
“Do you?” Hope hums with amusement, reaching into the seat of her car. “Would a hardass bring you cookies?”
Janice grabs at the bag eagerly. “I take it all back.” She kisses Hope again before there’s a chance for any sort of protest. “You’re the best.”
Hope stands up straighter, proudly even. “I figured with all that studying and finals coming up you could use a little sugar to keep you awake.”
“And you chose cookie variety.” Kelly shakes her head in mock disappointment.
Hope can do nothing but shake her head. “Anyway I can’t stay long. Eventually the rookie they stuck me with today will figure out I’ve ditched her and Cap’ll be mad.”
Janice doesn’t care if it’s only a few minutes or a few hours that she gets to see Hope. Ever since that day at the beach, the second time where they renewed their relationship, she’s been comfortable when it comes to Hope. Everything else in her life might be a little iffy, not the least of which concerning Lexie, but with Hope she finally feels like she’s found solid ground.
Speaking of, she has to ask Robin how Lexie’s meeting with her sister went. Even if she wishes more than anything that she could ask her on her own.
“You still with me?” Hope asks tilting Janice’s chin up to look her in the eyes.
“Yeah--yeah sorry. Just Lexie--” Janice trails off.
“Janice.” Hope stares her down with eyes that could make a perp confess in seconds flat. “I’ve been through a lot of friendships in my life, and you know how stubborn I can be. Just--talk to Lexie. You won’t be able to focus until you two have made up.”
“I know, I know.” Janice agrees and she knows Hope is right. There’s a joke to be made about age or life experience or whatever but there’s a bag of cookies in her hand and Hope’s hand on her face. She’s not about to ruin a good thing. “Sorry to bring your break down like this.”
“Hey.” Hope smiles a little. “It’s not so bad. I got to see you.”
Janice flushes and looks down, no longer able to handle looking directly in Hope’s eyes. “Anybody ever tell you you’re a big softie?”
Hope scoffs. “Not anybody that wanted to see the next day.” That makes Janice grin because if there’s one thing she knows now, more than ever, it’s that Hope is far less tough than she’d like to make everyone believe. “Okay.”
“Already?” Janice holds on closer to the bag of cookies like it’ll change the fact that Hope has to go so soon.
“Afraid so.” Hope pulls Janice in for a kiss, deeper than the first two. When she’s released Janice is only a little bit out of breath, she swears. “Do me a favor and take my advice?”
“I will.” Hope reaches over to squeeze Janice’s arm, taking one more little moment of contact with her before she ducks back into her squad car and drives off.
Janice clutches the cookies in her hand and just like that she knows what she needs to do.
She’s taken a history class or ten in her lifetime and there’s nothing that works better than a little bit of a peace offering.
Hope Sorenson, saving the day with and without her sidearm.
***
JANICE knocks incessantly for about five seconds before she remembers Lexie’s weird little roommate and backs off to a steady thump. She’s tired of the thaw, tired of Laurel and Robin feeling like they need to sit between them, tired of not being able to text Lexie whenever she feels like it about any stupid little thing.
So yeah, maybe it was Lexie who took away her choice but now Janice is making another one and this one is (mostly) her own. Forgive her. Make the first move. Get her friend back.
Her hand is starting to hurt from knock and she resigns to the fact that maybe Lexie isn’t in after all. She knocks for about another minute before turning and sliding down the door, resigned to sitting and waiting for Lexie to return. Worst case scenario Ellen (Elliot? Rhetta?) will get back first and let her in. Either way it happens here and it happens now.
Janice clutches the cookies to her person and waits.
And waits. And waits. Checks the clock on her phone and waits some more.
It’s weird that not even Laurel or Robin or really anyone has walked by in the time Janice’s been sitting there but then again that’s just what finals does to people. Turns them into zombies and ghosts or a scary combination of the two.
Janice waits some more.
Somewhere in all the waiting she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knows she feels a shadow looming over her and opens her eyes.
Lexie.
“Janice?”
She scrambles up to her feet, the crinkling of the bag of cookies making it that much more awkward. “Lexie.”
Lexie frowns. “Why are you sleeping outside my room?”
“Because it’s where you live.” Janice answers dumbly, repeating Hope’s words in the back of her head. Talk to Lexie, just, talk to Lexie. Good. Yes. This is something she can still do.
“Right.” Lexie answers. “You also live here.” Lexie gestures away from her own door. “Just not--here.”
“That’s a good point.” Janice shifts from foot to foot. Finally she just thrusts the bag of cookies out into the space between them. “Want to eat some cookies?”
Lexie sighs. “Janice--”
“No.” Janice cuts her off, cookies still dangling awkwardly between them. “Look, I want you to eat these cookies with me and I want to talk to you. I want to know how things went with your sister without having to ask Robin and I want to know how things are going between you and Robin without having to ask Robin. I want to stop having to ask Robin about everything.” Janice stops to breathe.
“I don’t--”
“Let me finish before you say anything.” Janice takes a deep breath and launches into it. “The way I see it we’ve both fucked up a ton in the past couple of weeks but nothing worse than letting our friendship get to this point. Lexie, I miss you.”
Lexie tries to hold back her smile even as her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. “I miss you too, Jan.”
Even though Janice told her not to speak until she was done that makes her smile. It means they’re on the same page, it means that this is something that can be mended and fixed. And maybe it just starts with sharing a few delicious cookies and catching up.
“And, and most of all.” Janice remembers her main point. “Most of all I can’t imagine anyone else taking your place next year either. Please still live with us.”
The tears that Lexie had been so valiantly holding back start to fall and, of course, now people decide to actually mill about in the halls. It’s no matter, Janice wouldn’t mind all of the cameras in the world on them if Lexie says yes.
“Of course.” Lexie surges across the space between them and crushes Janice in a hug, crunching the bag of cookies between them. “Shit--”
“The cookies will be delicious no matter what.” Janice muffles against Lexie’s shoulder.
“True.” Lexie mumbles into Janice’s hair.
They stay like that hugging in front of Lexie’s door for way longer than normal but the way Janice rationalizes it they’re just making up for all of the hugs they missed over the course of their fight.
There’s just one more thing she needs to know. If not for her own piece of mind but Lexie’s. “Your sister?”
Lexie pulls back and looks at her feet. “She’s, um, it’s going to take her some time.”
A pang resonates through Janice’s heart. “I can’t apologize enough for that. Nobody deserves to be outed but especially not by their best friend.”
Unexpectedly Lexie starts to smile, forming just at the corner of her lips. “She told me she loves me, and uh, she doesn’t understand, or like that I lied to her, but she just needs time.”
“Yeah?” Janice’s hopeful that she didn’t ruin Lexie’s life and happy that Lexie seems to not have been shunned from her family.
“I think it’s going to be okay.” Lexie pauses. “Eventually.”
This time it’s Janice who surges across the space to put Lexie is a bone crushing hug. Her poor peace offering cookies.
A few minutes later there’s somebody clearing their throat behind them. The both look up to see Robin leaning against the wall with a joyous smirk across her face.
She motions between the two of them. “Is this something I’m going to have to keep an eye on?”
Janice looks between the three of them with a wide smile on her face. “No, I think we’re good.”
***
IT’S amazing how something like being cool with all of your best friends makes finals fly by with only a little bit of (metaphorical) bloodshed. And now, somehow, they’re all standing in the apartment she’s had picked out since, it seems like, the moment she stepped on campus.
Laurel and Amy are still standing out by the U-Haul (and no they didn’t appreciate Janice’s joke on the matter) and Robin and Lexie disappeared off onto their own adventure. That leaves she and Hope standing and surveying the space.
“What do you think?” Janice beams surveying the laminate floors in the living room and the seen-better-days tile of the kitchen.
Hope finishes her walk around the room and tilts her head at Janice with a smirk. “Perfect first college apartment.”
“What are you trying to say about my apartment picking skills.” Janice pouts, sticking her bottom lip out in a way she knows gets Hope every time. Like clockwork Hope advances, gently pinning her back against the wall.
“Just saying you might have to spend a little more time at my place.” Hope kisses her. “You know, for safety.”
“Right, safety.” Janice will never protest to Hope being playful or wanting to kiss her without a care of who walks in on them.
She’d only jokingly suggested that Hope come out and help them all move but here she was, tank top and sweats, the most dressed down Hope gets, and ready to go. Ever since Vianne’d been released from the hospital and safely taken care of at home Hope had been carrying herself even lighter.
Light enough to actually put in for that transfer to a better department, barriers be damned, because that’s what Vianne would want her to do. Janice couldn’t be prouder.
“That’s an interesting interpretation of carrying in the couch.” Laurel interjects, laughing lightly as Hope springs back like she’s been caught. Amy follows along with Laurel’s TV and goes to deposit it in the room that Laurel’s staked out as her own.
“I’m going to go grab another box.” Hope points outside and leaves before either of them can say anything.
Laurel smirks. “Looks like I caught Hottie McJustice off guard.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” Janice rolls her eyes. “And don’t call her that when she might hear you.”
“If the tight black uniform fits.” Laurel fires back, putting the box she was carrying down. “Completely unrelated do you know where Lexie and Robin ran off to?”
“I thought you knew?”
“Nope. Weird.” Laurel leans against the wall. “I’m sure they’re off staring deeply into each other’s eyes somewhere. They’ll wander back sooner or later.”
Laurel goes back to check on Amy in her room and Janice thinks about where they could have gone. It isn’t like Lexie to try and shirk off work but it’s exactly like Robin to want to go off on some awesome adventure so that makes things tough. Either way they need to get everything moved in before the sun starts beating down on them so they can’t waste too much time.
About an hour or so goes by and they have most of the kitchen boxes inside and much of the living room when Lexie and Robin pop back up looking a bit disheveled but no worse for wear.
“Well, well, well.” Janice crosses her arms over her chest taking on a motherly stance. “I spy with my own little eye two friends who’ve shirked moving duties.” Janice frowns and takes stock of their appearance again. Lexie’s tousled hair and crumpled shirt and she swears Robin had a ponytail when she left and is that a--no, it’s definitely a leaf in her hair. They were--
“--having sex?!” Laurel jumps in before Janice can formulate how she wants to put it. Well, it’s to the point she can’t fault Laurel that.
“No!” “Maybe!” Lexie and Robin blurt out at the same time looking between each other with varying levels of betrayal and flushed faces.
“You don’t know my life.” Robin mumbles. Lexie still trains her face and an indiscriminate point on the wall.
Janice takes this as a chance to jump in. “I do know you have a forest souvenir in your hair.”
Hope smirks at Janice over her head as Robin damn near flails to try to get the leaf.
Just then Amy enters the room and looks between the five of them, eyes fixed on Robin especially. “That solves that mystery.”
“We, well, Robin has an announcement actually. That’s what we were off--” She cuts herself off abruptly, clearing her throat. “Discussing.”
“You’re not getting married are you?” Laurel frowns suspiciously. “Because I know you’re your own people and all but I don’t know about that.”
“No.” Lexie laughs off incredulously and rolls her eyes. “But thanks for your support.”
“Let me just say it.” Robin steps up and all eyes switch to her. “I’ve talked to Lexie and my parents and Jasmine and even my youth church leader back home.”
“Robin--” Lexie urges her to move past the lead up.
“I’m dropping out of school.” Robin says plainly.
The silence that fills the room in deafening and Robin pauses to let the news sink in. Laurel opens and closes her mouth in shock and Janice crosses her arms over her chest defensively. She catches Hope’s eyes across the room and shakes her head slightly to ward off extra concern.
It’s Amy of all people who finally speaks up. “So does that mean you’re going home?”
“No, uh, that’s why I talked to Jasmine actually.” Robin repl
ies, still way more calm than somebody who just announced they’re dropping out should be. “She’s got me hooked up with a few jobs, and uh, I’ll still be living here if you guys still want me.”
If Robin was surprised by Janice nearly sprinting across the room to hug her than she hadn’t been paying attention throughout the majority of their friendship. “Of course!”
Laurel takes her time coming over, she’s certainly not going to run, but she joins them in the hug all the same. “Plus it’s too late to find another roommate so we’re stuck with you anyway.”
“Hey!” Robin chimes up from where she’s crushed between Janice and Laurel but they both ignore her.
“Well, I don’t want to be left out.” Is all Lexie says before she wraps her long arms around the outside of the three of them.
Hope looks on from the same place and looks over at Amy. “Is this normal?”
“I would definitely get used to it.” Amy nods even as she makes her way over to join the hug.
Janice feels Amy join and smiles from the place where she’s engulfed, there’s only one thing missing from this equation. “Hope! Get in here, come on.”
“Not a chance.” Hope fires back, still maintaining her air of cool and cool people don’t just join group hugs in (mostly) empty apartments. Not even if a member of that group is the college kid they’re dating.
“Please.” Janice whines out. “We’re not going to stop hugging until you join us. We could do this for hours.”
“No we couldn’t.” “Not happening.” Rings out from somewhere in the mob but Janice doesn’t care.
Hope taps her heel against the wall and wonders when she let this become her life. She smiles and remembers that first terrible joke at King’s and begrudgingly becomes the last piece in the group hug puzzle.
Janice lets out a triumphant sound and enjoys the love she can feel coming from everyone in the room.
This certainly isn’t how she thought her first year of college would go. Really nobody could anticipate the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. The stupidly attractive police officers or the goofy (best) friends she made. But one thing she knows, standing there amongst her roommates and Hope, is that she can’t wait for next year and the shit they’ll get to do.