by Robin Roseau
"No," she said.
I studied her. I'd played poker with her. Gia was a horrible liar. Oh, the wolves couldn't tell, but I could. She was telling the truth.
I started to cry. Lara pulled me into her arms. I stood stiffly and didn't hold her back, but I didn't push her away, either.
Gia stepped closer. "Michaela," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I was ordered to delete the photos, and I guess you can be mad about that, but that's between you and the alpha. Looking through your computer was beyond what she told me to do, and I'm sorry. I didn't copy anything except the pictures of Elisabeth. I didn't break your encryption."
"What's in the files, Michaela?" Elisabeth asked. "This is a security problem, isn't it? It's not just your private notes about Lara's bad habits."
"Gia," I said, pointing to the computer. "Show Lara the encrypted files." I waited until Gia had pulled up the directory with the encrypted files and given the computer back to Lara. "The password is: fucking wolves killed my family."
Gia took a loud breath but didn't comment.
Lara, sitting on the bed, began digging through the files, one by one, her lips growing tighter and tighter together. There were pictures I had taken of some of the wolves I had killed over the years. Not all, just some. I had journal entries describing the situations for each.
She looked at me. "May I show Elisabeth?" I nodded. So Lara showed Elisabeth everything as well. When they were done, Lara looked up at me.
"It's all self-defense," Lara said.
"Check the notes for July, eleven years ago."
Lara dug through the files, found the journal entry, and found that those two wolves had killed a family of werebeavers. It wasn't self-defense; it was retribution.
She looked back at me. "That was the most egregious," I said. "But four of the other wolves I killed were disabled. I could have run. I didn't absolutely have to kill them."
"You are thinking about human laws," she said. "They challenged you, and it was mortal combat. By were laws, you are justified to kill them."
"Gia hates me, Lara!" I said. "If she had copied those files, all she had to do is release those files to the human authorities, and my life would have been over!"
"Michaela. I don't hate you. I love you. How could you think I hate you?"
I stared at her. "You think I am a terrible influence on the pack and don't understand how anyone could possibly want me around. You want to be rid of me."
"That's ridiculous," she said. "I don't understand you. But Lara is my cousin, and I love her! And you saved her life. Michaela, you saved my cousin's life. You saved the pack. Twice. You've made our alpha happy. You've made my sister happy. I love my sister. I love my pack. I love my alpha." She started to cry. "I could never hurt you, Michaela. Oh god, how could you think that?"
Lara took a breath. "Michaela," she said. "Does that settle that part?"
I crossed the room to Gia, put my hands on her shoulders, and turned her to face me.
"Michaela," she said. "I don't understand you. I don't understand why you get away with your insolence. But you are our fox. Ours! And no one touches you. If I'd decrypted those files, I would have reported them to the alpha, but I would never, ever give them to anyone else or use them against you. I'm so sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry."
"Michaela," Elisabeth said quietly. "Even if Gia hated you, which she doesn't, she is immensely loyal to Lara and the pack. She would never turn a pack member over to human authorities. There are wolves in the pack who would be deeply incensed at the contents of these files. None of them live in the compound or are in the slightest position of authority. And Gia would never share Lara's secrets with any of them."
"How about my secrets?"
"Your secrets are Lara's secrets," Gia said. "You are her mate."
"You shouldn't have done it," I told her. "This wasn't about security. This was entirely about invading my privacy, what little I have remaining to me. The only security you were testing was mine, and I should be able to trust you."
"You're right," Gia said quietly. "You should be able to trust me. I'm sorry."
I paced around the room for a few minutes, no one saying a word, the three wolves practically holding their breaths. Finally I asked quietly, "Do I have to worry about this happening again?
"No," Gia said. "But Michaela, do you know how easy it is to steal files off a laptop? You have to scrub that computer. Not just delete the files, but use a real scrubber. Do you have other copies?"
"No. Just those."
"Why did you keep these files, Michaela?" Elisabeth asked. "They're dangerous. You had to know that."
"I needed them," I said. "Some days I needed them to remind myself I wasn't helpless. Some days I just needed to remind myself that the wolves that killed my family were all dead. And then some."
"Do you still need them?" Lara asked.
"No. Gia, will you scrub them for me?"
"Yes," she said. "Like they were never there."
"Please remove the programs you installed."
"I did that after dinner," she said. "But I can tighten your security if you let me keep the computer until tomorrow."
"Thank you. I am going to bed now."
Lara chased Gia and Elisabeth out and then locked the door. I turned to her. "I feel deeply violated. You may think you had a right to do that, but I firmly disagree. You knew I was going to be angry when I found out, and you did it anyway. Why?"
"A mistake, Michaela. Pure and simple. A mistake. I'm sorry. If Karen had hacked your phone and deleted the photos, but we'd stopped there, would you have been angry?"
"I took them as a prank, so it would be ungracious if I didn't accept another prank to delete them," I said. "If Gia could have deleted the emails without invading my laptop, that would also have been a fair prank, although I would then be obligated to find a more secure way to receive email. But invading my laptop went too far."
"I agree," Lara said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have authorized it. We started with what you agree was a fair prank, and then it went too far a little at a time. I'm sorry."
I moved to her and looked up into her face. She was concerned, but I was ready to accept her apology. "You consistently go too far when trying to outfox me. You beat me plenty by being a wolf. Isn't that enough? Can't you let the fox win by being a fox?"
"I don't know," she said in a small voice. "It's hard. I can't help it sometimes; I am driven to play to win."
"Don't you have rules for that?" I asked. "Basic things you won't do just to win?"
"I am Alpha," she said. "I make the rules. I can change the rules."
"Is that the nature of the relationship you want with me?" I asked her. "One where I routinely feel violated?"
"Oh honey," she said.
"Here is something to consider. If the fox is going to feel violated, perhaps it's a bad idea. Do you think that you can at least keep that as a guideline?"
"I'm sorry," she said. "Yes, that's a good guideline."
"Thank you," I said. I wasn't quite done with her. "When you do something that I consider cheating, it makes me feel like you want to take my spirit away from me."
"Oh god, Michaela," she said. "No!"
I thought about what she had just said. Accepting someone's flaws is part of loving that person.
I stepped a little closer. "Lara, I love when you beat me fair and square. I love what you do to me there." I pointed to the bed. "I love your strength and speed. I am terribly amused when you outfox me, even if sometimes I am ungracious about it. But when you cheat, it cheapens everything. Will you please at least think about what I've said?"
"Yes, honey," she said. "I'm sorry."
I moved into her arms, pulling them around me. "Tonight, you will pamper me. You will hold me. You will make me feel safe." Then I shifted to fox as the fastest way to slip out of my clothes, stepped out of them, jumped onto the bed, and shifted back human, slipping under the covers.
Lara stripped out of her own clothes in a m
ore traditional fashion, turned out the lights, and climbed into bed, pulling me into her arms.
"No," I said. "Back rub. Soothe me."
"All right," she said.
I rolled over, and she used her big strong hands on my small body, gently soothing away my cares. After a few minutes, I began to relax and gave sounds of gratitude, little moans and purrs.
I let her pamper me for a long time. It felt so nice. But I wasn't completely settled yet.
"Lara?"
"Yes, Little Fox?"
"Did I over react?"
"No. But it wasn't wise to keep those files. I am glad they're gone."
"Did Gia lie?"
"No. And before you ask, yes, I'm sure. It's not like I never talk to my cousin, Michaela."
"Do you think she'll read everything before she destroys them?"
"She might. Would it bother you?"
"No," I replied.
I moaned under her hands. Her touches grew more erotic, which was a step in the right direction.
"Lara?" I said.
"Yes, Little Fox?"
"Do you like my body?"
She chuckled. "Very much."
"It's not big and strong like yours."
"You are perfect, Michaela."
"Do you like... owning my body."
"Yes. Very, very much."
"Do you like making me scream?"
"Yes." She started to chuckle again.
"Is it true I make you happy?"
"Yes."
"Would it make you even happier if I told you I like when you make me scream?"
She laughed. "I was starting to understand that."
I giggled. "Did you really come in the shower?"
"Yes. I like when you take care of me, but every time you give yourself to me completely like that, I come, and they're the best orgasms I ever have."
"You understand, there are times I need to do the love making."
"I like the love making," she said.
"There are times I want you in my mouth."
"You have a very clever mouth," she said.
I squirmed a little from what her hands were doing, massaging my bottom.
"Lara," I said. "Do you want to make me beg tonight?"
"Yes."
"Will you roll me onto my back and make me taste you?"
"Yes."
"Will you make me scream your name?"
"Yes."
"Good."
And then, slowly, she did everything she said she was going to do.
Tradition
The summer flew by. I settled more and more into my roles within the pack. When I'd first started dating Lara, I'd been nervous of all the wolves all the time. Over time that softened, but by mid-summer, I found their presence comforting, even that of wolves I didn't know very well, as long as I knew they were pack.
Lara accepted a delegation of wolves from the Minneapolis alpha, and there was a "state dinner" so to speak at the steak house in Madison. Lara requested I attend but told me she understood if I chose not to. Of course I went. And as soon as I saw the Minneapolis wolves, I could tell they weren't from our pack. Their presence unsettled me, but I was gracious and charming, and the evening was pleasant. When I told Lara about it in the car, she was ecstatic.
I started paying attention to the business conversations. Lara, Elisabeth, and half the pack council took it on themselves to educate me. If I joined a conversation that involved business, they all made sure I knew I was welcome, and they all encouraged me to ask all the questions I wanted. In late July, I repaid their kindness.
It was a pack play night, and we were enjoying the dinner and conversation before the games were to begin. It was to be a night of games too rough for one little fox, but I was okay with that. I'd gotten a good run in during the afternoon, although I'd lost all the wagers I'd set. I still owed everyone on the run a small favor from it. Lara had already collected her favor in the shower.
At the picnic, I joined a conversation with Dominick, Ron Berg, and two wolves who I learned were managers for a business venture co-owned by Dominick and Ron. It was a startup company, but the company hadn't been doing as well as expected, and morale was beginning to lag; lagging morale led to lagging productivity. "If we can't fix it, we may as well shut down," Ron said.
"It's a great company," Dominick said. "The sales cycle is just longer than expected."
I'd been listening for several minutes, not saying anything. "I'm sorry," I said. "I think I must misunderstand."
Both Dominick and Ron had been very kind about helping me understand business issues. "What don't you understand?" Dominick asked.
"Well, it sounds like you have a product you're proud of, and you have good people and a good business plan. You don't think you need to change any of that. You're even happy with marketing and how you're approaching sales. The only thing is there is some frustration and some morale problems."
"Right. But people are starting to slack off because they're giving up hope," said one of the managers. "We've been cracking the whip at them, but that seems to be making it worse."
"Oh hell," I said. "Of course it is. Look, people do a good job because they want to. I bet half the company has their nose in the help wanted pages, and it's going to get worse if you don't give them reasons to be happy."
Ron and Dominick were looking at me closely. The other manager said, "No disrespect, but that is pretty obvious to all of us."
"All right," I said, one hand on my hip. "And what are you doing about it?"
"We're already paying good wages," he said. "And everyone has stock options. They need to suck it up and hang in there."
"Well, more options they think are worthless aren't going to help," I said. "And if you really are paying competitive wages, more money isn't going to accomplish what you want. People are happy when they feel fulfilled and when they feel needed and appreciated. What are you doing about those?"
I turned to Ron. "I didn't say anything you don't already know. What are you doing about it?"
The four of them looked at each other. "Not a thing," Dominick said.
"Emotions aren't logical. Morale is an emotion, and it requires an emotional repair." I looked at Dominick and Ron. "Show your appreciation. You both have vacation property somewhere, I bet. Give away weekends to people. I assume some of your employees are pack; invite them to these play nights. Invite them to dinners at your homes. I bet if you asked, you could get Lara to meet you for lunch, or ask me. And invite employees to those lunches. Spend time with them, find out what they like, and give out little surprises. They won't cost you anything, but you will build loyalty and you will show your personal commitment to making the company a success."
After that, Lara and I began receiving invitations to small social events. I couldn't make lunches, but I made dinners, and time with one or the other of us became part of the employee appreciation program for a number of companies. I would never have guessed time with me would matter that much to anyone, but apparently the competition to be invited to small events I would be attending became quite fierce, all in the matter of a couple of weeks in July.
August arrived, and the wedding was close. I'd attended my dress fittings blindfolded, but I could tell by the way the dress hung on me that it was a long, flowing dress that would drag on the ground. I smiled cheerfully, drank my grape juice, and teased Lara by flirting with Georgia's assistants. She took it good naturedly; they were human, so she couldn't go alpha all over them, after all.
Remarkably, I wasn't at all nervous. This was what I wanted. Lara and I had never done any better. I felt I'd found my place in the pack and was treated exceedingly well. My opinion mattered, something that had never been the case in the past. It was odd, as I was surrounded by people who could break me with little more than a backward glance, but I had more control over my life and my surroundings than I ever had.
I was safe, I was in love, I was happy.
Still, when it was Thursday night, two d
ays before our wedding, and my bedroom door opened, I was immediately wide awake. Whoever was at the door was trying to be very quiet, but I woke up to the sound of the knob turning.
I was wrapped in Lara's arms. I lay very still, listening, one hand reaching silently under my pillow to clasp one of my daggers. I could hear several heartbeats outside our door, and my own heart began to pound. I pinched Lara's arm to wake her.
"Shhh," she said very quietly. "It's Elisabeth and Angel."
"More than that," I said. "On the stairs."
"I know," she said. "You are being kidnapped. I will ransom you. It's traditional to struggle, but you should let Angel identify herself first so you know it's in fun. We're safe, Michaela."
"Lara-"
"It's in fun, Little Fox. Pretend you're asleep, let Angel wake you."
I caressed Lara's arm to let her know I understood, and I released the dagger.
I listened as several heartbeats drew closer. The strongest heartbeat moved to Lara's side of the bed. Two moved to mine. The wolves were being quiet, but I could hear their footsteps as they crushed the carpet. I couldn't smell them; my nose was too full of Lara's scent and the remaining scent of our passion from two hours previous.
One of the wolves crouched down at the side of my bed. Then, at the same time, I felt a finger brush my cheek while I heard Elisabeth whisper into Lara's ear. "Alpha?" she said. I opened my eyes to see Angel's face in front of me.
Elisabeth asked Lara, "May we?" and Lara answered, "Yes."
Angel was smiling. "Do you know this tradition?" Angel asked gently.
"Kidnapping me," I said. "I am supposed to struggle. That's all I know."
Elisabeth said to Lara, "There are two brides, Lara. We're taking both of you."
"Once we touch you," Angel said, "it's real. Struggle hard but no shifting. If you make it easy, we get to cut your hair and do other things you won't like. If you get away from us, you get to cut our hair. Michaela, once we touch you, play to win. Don't make me cut your hair."
I nodded.
"It's too dangerous," Lara said to Elisabeth.
"You shouldn't have shared a bed tonight, Lara. You knew better. We're taking both of you. To protect the fox, you may need to go easy; you might have to let us cut your hair. We won't let Michaela get hurt."