She would be one hell of an aunt. To Shane and Max. To her sister’s twins. She’d babysit a lot. She’d resume volunteering with the newborns at the hospital in Brewer. And she’d do all that without bitterness, without resentment. Because what she wanted more than anything, what she’d always wanted more than anything, was Sawyer. She understood that now in a way she hadn’t before.
She wouldn’t be a mom. But her life would be full and rich and happy regardless.
Okay, fine, it would take more than one morning to fully accept that she was letting go of a dream. But she was at peace with her decision.
She heard Sawyer’s key in the door, a sound she wanted to hear for the rest of her life. Her husband coming home.
“I have something for you,” he said, holding up a shopping bag from MacLeod’s. “Luckily the store was so crowded that your mom and sister didn’t even see me. I was able to buy this at the register with a salesclerk who didn’t recognize me.”
She tilted her head. “Why would it be a secret?”
“Because the first person I want to know about it is you.”
“What is it?”
“Oh, wait, before I forget, let me put your Christmas present under the tree,” he said, taking a small package from his pocket and walking into the living room. He knelt down and put the little gift on top of one of the twins’ presents.
She followed him to the tree. “So this—from MacLeod’s—isn’t my Christmas present?” she asked.
“Nope. It’s more an everyday present.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a large wrapped box and handed it to her.
She gave it a little shake. “What could you possibly have gotten me from MacLeod’s Multiples Emporium?”
Moose watching from his dog bed by the fireplace, she ripped open the paper, then took off the top of the box.
A drapey off-white fuzzy sweater bedazzled with Mommy to Be across the chest.
She stared at it, then looked at Sawyer. “I’m confused.”
“It’s a maternity sweater. When I brought it to the counter to pay, the salesclerk said she bought her sister one, and it still fits her even though she’s nine months now.”
“I repeat—I’m confused,” Maddie said.
He took her face in his hands and looked straight into her eyes. “I’ve been scared, Maddie. I didn’t realize that was the word for what was keeping me blocked about children until this morning. I always thought it was something else. A lot of something else. But it’s just pure fear.”
Hope stirred in Maddie’s heart. She looked at the sweater in her hands, and tears filled her eyes. “Are you saying...”
“I’m saying I’m sorry I denied you your dream of being a mom for so long. I’m sorry I’ve let you down. I want to start a family, Maddie. Right now. And I don’t want ten children. I just want one to start. Twins would be just fine.”
She put the sweater onto the console table and threw her arm around him. “I was going to tell you that I’m okay with not having kids. That all I’ve ever truly wanted was you.”
“I want to be a father. I think I’m actually meant to be a father. And we already both know you’re meant to be a mother.”
Sawyer’s phone pinged. Text from Cole.
We’re invited for Christmas, right?
Sawyer held up the phone to Maddie, then texted back.
You three had better come. We might have gone overboard on gifts for our nephews.
Feel free to keep doing that for the rest of their lives. Good news—I hired a nanny. We went to high school together—I had a huge crush on her. Her dad’s a cop for the WCPD—Mike Bauer. You probably met Bea a million times.
Sawyer envisioned a petite, talkative redhead in her twenties with big green eyes. A little girl had gotten separated from her parents at the multiples fair last summer, and Mike Bauer’s daughter had been dropping something off for her dad and comforted the girl until her parents’ came, drawing pictures with her.
Sawyer texted: Sounds great. Invite her to stop by Christmas Eve.
I already did, he texted back with a laughing emoji.
Sawyer smiled and pocketed his phone. “This is going to be our best Christmas ever,” he said to his wife.
Maddie kissed him. “Yup. Let’s go start that family right now.”
He picked her up and carried her up the stairs, Christmas wishes they hadn’t even known they had all coming true.
* * *
Don’t miss the first book in
Melissa Senate’s brand-new miniseries,
Dawson’s Family Ranch,
For The Twins’ Sake,
available February 2020
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Keep reading for an excerpt from The Scrooge of Loon Lake by Carrie Nichols.
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The Scrooge of Loon Lake
by Carrie Nichols
Chapter One
Desmond “Des” Gallagher heaved a frustrated sigh as he stared at the scattered pieces of colorful glass laid out on his workbench. This was the third day in a row he’d come to the former business office in the spacious barn he now used as his workshop and done nothing but sit and stare. The scarred and chipped wood that made up the table’s surface attested to the fact that work did indeed get done here. Just not today. Or yesterday. He rubbed a hand over the stubble on his face. And not even the day before that. Normally, seeing the glass laid out before him was enough to spark an idea, even if he had no concrete design in mind.
Today’s project was an unfinished stained glass window that could be installed in place of an existing window frame or framed and hung like a painting. While those remained popular, his new love was shattered glass sculptures. Shattering the glass himself, he enjoyed taking those broken pieces and creating something new and better from them. Although he’d experimented with small, blown glass items, he’d shunned the much larger ones because crafting those required more than one person.
Having to think about a project stifled his creativity. His best work came when his brain sent signals directly to his fingers and he assembled pieces without conscious thought. Crazy, but who was he to argue with something that had served him well enough to earn a living? He wasn’t getting rich from it but his art supplemented his military disability.
Stretching his neck, he scowled. Christmas. That was the problem. He couldn’t escape the dreaded holiday nor the painful memories the season triggered. He did his best to avoid going into town from Thanksgiving until well into January because Loon Lake loved its Christmas celebrations. Main Street, with its quaint, brick-front shops huddled around the town green, would soon be decked out in lights, garlands and, God help him, holiday cheer. If he couldn’t get an item at the gas station mini-mart on the edge of town or by ordering online, he went without until after the holidays.
And what was his excuse for avoiding the town the other ten months? He reached for his stainless-steel insulated mug and took a sip of his favorite Sumatran coffee from beans he’d ground that morning. Yeah, he took his coffee seriously. Maybe if he pretended he had an idea one would come. Pfft, talk about clutching at straws. Shaking his head, he set the mug down and reached for the grozier pliers.
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“Yoo-hoo? Lieutenant Gallagher?”
His head snapped up at the interruption. A petite blonde woman, dressed in a bright red parka, stood in the doorway. One hand held a red and green tin; the other clutched the hand of a towheaded boy who looked to be about four or five. What the...? He discouraged visitors and studiously shunned community activities to avoid becoming embroiled in the residents’ lives—and thereby ensuring they, in turn, stayed out of his.
How did she even find her way out here? He lived in the back of beyond; his fifty-acre former horse farm could be considered isolated, even in a sparsely populated state like Vermont. His nearest neighbor, Brody Wilson, was five miles away and that was as the crow flew. And unlike Brody, Des had no interest in keeping horses, so the numerous paddocks surrounding the barn remained as empty as the day he’d bought the place. Summers working on a dude ranch had cured him of the romance of horse ownership.
The woman, who appeared to be in her mid-to late-twenties, stepped closer. Close enough for a subtle lavender scent to reach him.
“Hi. I was hoping I could have a minute of your time.” Her broad smile revealed a crooked bottom tooth.
He had no business noticing that tooth, even less thinking it was...what? Not sexy, but appealing in some wholesome, girl-next-door way. He scowled at his thoughts. “Why? Are my minutes better than yours?”
“Sir?” She shook her head, her long, corn-silk hair brushing against, and contrasting with, the cherry-red of her jacket. “No. I—I meant—”
“Unless you know something I don’t, you taking one of my minutes won’t increase yours.” He was acting like a first-class jerk, but she’d set off warning bells. And what was the deal with that sir? It grated on his nerves. Here he was checking her out and she was addressing him as sir. At thirty-four, he couldn’t be more than eight or ten years her senior. He sighed. It wasn’t her language that had him spooked. No, it was his reaction to her that had him acting like a complete ass.
A small furrow appeared in the middle of her forehead. Damn, but she even frowned cute. That clinched it because he wasn’t into cute. And certainly not ones who addressed him as sir. Let it go, Gallagher. His type might be blondes but they were also tall and blatantly sexy with a mouthful of perfect teeth. That disqualified the five-foot-nothing woman with the crooked tooth. Considering how many women he’d been with in the past three years, though, his type would appear to be fictional women.
Her full bottom lip now hid the tooth and he looked away. He rose from the stool he’d been perched on, careful not to put too much weight on his left leg after sitting for so long. Staggering or collapsing in front of her was not the look he was going for. Ha! She’d probably rush to help and his ego had taken enough beating with the sir. That’s letting it go?
Bottom line, he needed to get rid of her before she regrouped, started using that killer smile on him again. He hitched his chin at the tin she carried. “If you’re here from the town’s welcoming committee, you’re three years too late.”
She shook her head, causing her hair to sway. “That’s not why I’m here. I—I saw your work at the General Store and—”
“Then you should’ve bought it there. I don’t sell pieces out of my workshop. Didn’t Tavie explain that?” His location wasn’t a secret, but the tourists and residents of Loon Lake bought his stuff in town and left him alone, and that was the way he liked it. “How did you even find me?”
“It wasn’t easy, believe me.” She gave him a tentative smile.
He grunted. “And yet, here you are.”
“I can be quite resourceful and frankly—” she glanced around the cavernous barn, empty and scrupulously clean except for his cluttered work area “—it’s not exactly some Bond villain’s supersecret lair.”
Her smile seemed to be an invitation to join in, but he deepened his scowl. It was either that or start grinning foolishly. She was charming, and he remembered he didn’t do charming. And, by God, he wouldn’t allow himself to be charmed.
She licked her lips and swallowed. “Tavie gave me directions.”
“That figures,” he muttered.
Octavia “Tavie” Whatley might be proprietress of Loon Lake General Store, but general busybody was her true occupation. Not much went on in town without her knowing about it, but she’d sold more of his pieces than anyone, so he grit his teeth and put up with her. Even with his frugal lifestyle, the military disability only went so far.
“Dear me, where are my manners. I’m Natalie Pierce.” She let go of the boy’s hand and placed her palm over the top of his head in a tender gesture. “And this is my son, Sam.”
The kid grinned up at him, his eyes the same clear August-sky blue as hers. Des nodded to the boy. He had nothing against children. Just women with bright sunny smiles? And let’s not forget that oddly appealing crooked tooth. Damn. He didn’t want or need these distractions. Yeah, because you’re so busy being creative. He told his nothing-but-trouble inner voice to shut up.
“I hate to interrupt—” she began.
“But you’re doing it, anyway.” And the jerk behavior continued. Her presence was flustering him so he was repaying the favor. See if he could fluster her a bit. His reaction wasn’t her fault, but he was in survival mode because that weaponized smile of hers had scrambled his thought process. He’d gone too long without female company. That was it; blame this on self-imposed celibacy.
“Lieutenant Gallagher, I—”
“Call me Des. My navy days are behind me.” His days of being catapulted at one hundred and sixty-five miles an hour from the deck of a carrier in a metal casket worth seventy million dollars were over. He grit his teeth and rubbed his knotted thigh muscles. Why did he want her to call him Des? Saying his given name shouldn’t matter because he was trying to get her and that way too appealing smile out of his barn. Wasn’t he?
“Des,” she said, drawing it out.
“Yeah, but it’s generally one short syllable.” But her version worked. Worked a bit too well, as a matter of fact.
“Sorry.” She inhaled as if she was about to launch into a prepared speech.
He opened his mouth to—
“I’m here to talk to you about handcrafting some items for an auction we’re having. Christmas ornaments would be a real hit this time of year. And it’s for a great cause. There’s this fantastic hippotherapy program that needs—”
“Stop right there.” He held up his hand like a cop halting traffic. “Doesn’t matter the cause. I don’t do Christmas. Period.”
“What? No Christmas? But...but... Why?” She blinked owlishly. “What’s not to love about Christmas?”
How about being a child and spending it with a suicidal mother? Always worried she would disappear. He would’ve been left alone because his biological father wanted nothing to do with Des. In his dad’s mind, Des was proof of an indiscretion while attending an out-of-town conference. “I have my reasons.”
She opened her mouth, but Sam tugged on her sleeve. She looked down, and the boy up, his eyes large and his stare intense, both standing still like they were having a telepathic conversation. One that excluded everyone else, even him. She glanced at her watch, sighed and nodded her head.
“To be honest, it took me much longer than I expected to find this place,” she said, gnawing on her bottom lip, calling his attention to it again.
“Maybe that’s the way I like it,” he said, even though he wasn’t sure if she’d been talking to him, her son or herself. He’d been too distracted by that bottom lip.
She set the tin on the workbench next to his tools. “I have to leave, but I warn you, I don’t give up easily, even if you do cloak yourself in that grumpiness like it’s a virtue.”
The boy tugged on her sleeve in another silent plea and she nodded. There was that nonverbal communication again, reminding Des he wasn’t a part of their world. Not
that he wanted to be. Nope. Not one little bit.
She took the boy’s hand in hers. “I’ll be in touch,” she said as if it was a threat and headed for the door.
“Wait,” he called and she turned her head to look over her shoulder. He pointed at the tin. “What’s this?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not a bomb,” she said and smiled briefly. “It’s homemade Christmas bark. Even a grinch like you can’t say no to that.”
“What the heck is...?” He glanced up, but she was gone.
Shaking his head, he opened the tin to reveal irregularly shaped bars of white chocolate covered with red and green M&Ms and crushed candy canes. Grabbing one and taking a large bite, he sank back on the stool and thought about the mystery that was Natalie Pierce. What the heck had just happened? Her soft, lilting voice, coupled with that appealing smile, had taunted him and he wanted to know more about her. Her speech was devoid of the flatter, more nasal vowel tones he’d grown accustomed to since moving here. But neither could he peg her as having a Southern drawl. And the kid hadn’t spoken at all, but he’d smiled and made eye contact. Maybe the boy—Sam—was shy. Des shook his head. None of this was his problem, so why was he wasting time on it?
He glanced at the pieces of colorful glass sitting idle on the bench and his fingers itched to create something. He popped the half-eaten piece of candy into his mouth, brushed his palms together and picked up the pliers.
* * *
The next morning Des stood and thrust his shoulders back to work out the kinks from sitting hunched over the workbench. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d pulled an all-nighter, but he wasn’t about to leave and have his muse desert him again. He scratched the scruff on his jaw with his fingertips and glanced at the now-empty tin. Huh. As he’d worked last night, he’d munched on her delicious candy. This stained glass window was of the lake during winter when many of the trees were bare. Up close, the lake and trees were individual pieces, but when standing back, those pieces became shades and ripples of the lake water.
A Wyoming Christmas to Remember Page 18