Hard To Love You (The Love Series)

Home > Other > Hard To Love You (The Love Series) > Page 5
Hard To Love You (The Love Series) Page 5

by Smith, Megan


  “I know you’re not using me, Hailey. I get it; I really do, so stop worrying about it. Friends are what we’re going to be.” He agrees.

  And so that was settled. Cole and I both laugh when I say “See you Friday”. Since I got flowers today that means if Mason keeps his deliveries as scheduled I will get more on Friday. Cole comes to my side of the car, opens the door for me and walks me to my front door. He kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

  Thursday morning I text MacKenzie and see what she’s up to. I tell her I want to come over and see my nephew. We make plans for lunch and she promises to keep Mason clear from the house.

  I stop by the toy store before arriving at the house. I know she’s going to yell at me for spoiling him but I can’t help it.

  I pull into the driveway a little while later and get out of my car with my hands full of food and gifts. MacKenzie opens the door with Ryder on her hip. He’s so adorable. Head full of dark curly hair, bright blue eyes like his mom and strong features like his dad. There is no denying that he is theirs.

  When MacKenzie sees that my hands are full she gives me a disapproving look. “Hailey,”

  “Oh shut up, I’m his aunt and I’m allowed to spoil him if I want to.” I step up to them and give Ryder a kiss on his forehead and he starts to giggle and coo.

  MacKenzie opens the door wider for me to step inside, we walk into the kitchen where I unload my hands and grab Ryder. I shower him with kisses from head to toe. Ryder is all smiles, laughs, coos, and flailing his little arms and legs all over the place. I feel so much love for this little boy; he takes my breath away sometimes, the way he gets into my heart. After I get my fix of him I place him into his bouncer, which is in front of the TV in the living room.

  Going back into the kitchen, MacKenzie has lunch spread out on the table and is putting a sandwich on her plate. I walk over to the cabinet, grab a glass and fill it with ice. I look over at her and hold my glass up, she nods and I do the same for her.

  We are sitting at the table eating our lunch, avoiding the elephant in the room. We have a truce in place not to discuss Mason unless I bring him up. She is just as pissed off at him as I am.

  “So … I went out on a date last night.” I say as causal as possible.

  “I heard.” MacKenzie says as she looks everywhere in the room but at me.

  “From who?” I snap back. How can she know already unless Mason was here earlier, crying the blues?

  “Mason.” She answers and finally looks in my direction.

  I flinch at the mention of his name; it still stings every time someone says it.

  I need to change the subject; I’m not going into details about last night with her. “So I found my date for the wedding if I’m still able to bring one.”

  MacKenzie doesn’t answer right away. She’s probably trying to weigh up her options, deciding if me bringing a date is going to be suicide for her.

  “I promise there will be no drama at the wedding, Kenz. Cole seems like a great guy and really handled himself well last night. There was no crazy shit going on, no screaming, and no fighting.”

  She nods but still hasn’t said yes just yet.

  “I don’t think I can handle being at the wedding with Mason. I know I have to walk down the aisle with him and all the other stuff, but having Cole there will make this just a little easier on me. I promise nothing will happen at the wedding, it’s all about you and Hunter. Hell, I can probably have you meet Cole tomorrow if you want. He’s been delivering the flowers every other day.”

  Her eyes grow big as what I just revealed to her sinks in. “So that’s how you met him?”

  “Yes, every other day for the last two weeks I’ve seen him. Last night he asked if I wanted to check out his band. I had a really great time. Weird that a Cahill wasn’t involved but still I had a good time listening to them play. Jay and I were out on the dance floor for a while too. If I would have known they were all going to be there I would have asked you and Hunter to come too.” I explain and feel like I’m rambling because I’m nervous of what she’ll say.

  She takes a sip of her drink, then sets down the glass and grabs a napkin. She is wiping her hands and studying her half eaten sandwich. After a few long moments she replies, “I’m ok with Cole coming, but I will say that after my wedding, you must sit down with Mason, Hails. You both need closure on this.”

  Taking a deep breath I say, “I know and I plan on it.”

  MacKenzie smiles and looks over my shoulder towards Ryder, bouncing like a mad baby in his bouncy chair. “Good, then it’s settled. Who should I sit him with during the reception?”

  Crap, I didn’t think of that. “Um, Bentley?”

  She laughs, “You sure you want to do that to him?”

  I close my eyes and shake my head. “Maybe not.”

  We both burst out laughing, knowing damn well that Cole is in for it with Bentley. I’m sure I’ll be mortified by the stories Bentley will share.

  MacKenzie and I talk about the details of what I need to bring tomorrow and what she already has. We make plans to meet here at her house and all the girls will drive down to Ocean Club Hotel together in two cars since we can’t fit everything into one. I kiss Ryder and give MacKenzie a hug goodbye and set off to do a few last minute errands.

  As I’m driving to the store I find myself hoping I’m not making a mistake by bringing Cole with me.

  I can still feel Hailey’s lips on mine, they were only there for a few seconds but they are still burning. You know when you take that first sip of coffee, knowing it’s going to be too hot to drink, but you do anyway and it leaves that tingling, burning feeling on your tongue? Yeah, I have that on my lips. That kiss told me one thing for sure. Hailey Taylor isn’t over me. Not by a long shot.

  I’m finally home from practice and trying to unwind in my living room. I wish Hailey were here to rub my shoulders. She isn’t, but my memories of her are.

  I’d just got home from sophomore tryouts and my shoulder was sore as hell from pitching. I was icing and heating it off and on like my dad always told me to. Hunter was icing his swollen, black and blue thigh; he’d been hit by a ball in the dirt. Cooper was sitting in the recliner, laughing his ass off at our sorry asses. Being an outfielder, he didn’t get hurt all that often. One day of practice down and it was like the end of season pains we were feeling.

  MacKenzie and Hailey were carrying on in the kitchen doing God only knows what. They mostly did this anytime we were around, and it annoyed the shit out of me. I knew MacKenzie had a crush on Hunter but I wasn’t sure if he had feelings for my sister and I hoped he didn’t. No one would ever be good enough for my little sister.

  A little while later the girls came out with brownies and sodas for all of us. We sat around the rest of the afternoon, watching movies until dinner was ready. After we all ate, we went back into the living room and started our homework. Hunter and MacKenzie were on the love seat. Hailey, Cooper and I were on the sofa. Hailey leaned in my direction and kept sneaking glances at me. She bumped into my shoulder that was already sore as shit and I cursed, loud, scaring the hell out of her. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched us. I was holding my shoulder, eyes squeezed tightly shut, rocking back and forth, waiting for the pain to subside. By the time it had, Hailey and I were the only two left in the room. I looked over and saw a few tears sliding down her cheek. I felt like a dick, I knew she didn’t mean to hurt me.

  “Stop crying Hailey, I’m alright.” I told her.

  She reached over and grabbed my books from my lap and placed them on the living room table. She grabbed the Icy Hot that was laying there and looked back at me with her eyebrows raised. I nodded, hoping it would help a little. I tried like hell to get my shirt off without raising my arms but it was difficult. Hailey saw me struggling; she reached for the bottom of my shirt and slowly started pulling it up. When I was able to wiggle my one arm out she pulled the shirt over my head. I could have done the rest myself but I liked h
er helping me. I was a fifteen year old boy, I couldn’t help but get a little excited that a girl as pretty as Hailey was touching me.

  After my shirt was tossed to the side, Hailey unscrewed the lid on the tube, squeezed out some Icy Hot and warmed it with her hands before she started massaging it into my shoulder. It hurt like a bitch but I didn’t want to let on that I probably really needed to go to the doctor and I didn’t want her to think she was hurting me again. After a few minutes the medicated rub was taking its effect and I started to feel slightly better.

  Hailey had gone to wash her hands in the sink. When she walked back in she reached down for my shirt, and my shorts started to get a little tighter thinking about what it would feel like to have her wrapped in my arms. When she stood up I quickly looked away. I saw her take a few steps towards me out of the corner of my eye. I quickly grabbed for the throw pillow and placed it on my lap. I stretched for my shirt that was still in her hand and she pulled it back out of my grasp. I stood up and tried again. She stepped back just out of range. This time I grabbed her hip, held her there and yanked my shirt. She didn’t put up a fight. I looked down to see Hailey staring at me, lips parted slightly. I felt that stir in my pants again; I pushed her back a little so she wouldn’t go running for the hills. When I did, she stumbled a little like I was the only thing holding her up. She fell into my arms, both her hands on my biceps, chest to chest, legs to legs. She looked up at me with those pool blue eyes and I couldn’t look away. Everything around us was silent; I could hear my blood pumping in my ears which I didn’t think was possible with the way my shorts were tented. Ever so slightly I started lowering my head, my eyes glued to hers. When she realized I was about to kiss her, her eyes went wide. I started backing away, thinking she didn’t want my kiss but she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and placed her soft silky lips against mine. Now this wasn’t my first kiss but I knew it was hers. I was afraid to push my luck with her so I didn’t deepen the kiss; I let her kind of lead the way. She was only twelve after all and I didn’t want to panic her. She placed a few small kisses on my lips and then stepped away. I wanted to kiss her again but didn’t want to make her feel uneasy.

  I looked up at her, “You should go find Kenz.”

  She nodded and ran out of the living room. That was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.

  I hear Cooper walking up the steps and it stirred me from that first of Hailey. I sit up, resting my elbows on my knees and pinch the bridge of my nose with fingers. I should have known all those years ago Hailey was the one for me.

  Later tonight we have the rehearsal dinner at the Ocean Club Hotel where the wedding is being held tomorrow. Cooper and I pack up our shit to stay over with Jackson and Hunter at my parent’s shore house, which is about twenty minutes from the hotel. The girls aren’t allowing Hunter and MacKenzie to spend the night together; they all demanded a no boys allowed night. This means we even have little Alex and Ryder with us. If the boys want to go out and celebrate tonight I am offering to stay home. I am just not in the mood. I knew this was shitty of me as I was the best man, but I just didn’t care.

  Arriving at the hotel I park at the valet stand, Cooper and I walk into the main reception area and I feel like someone knocks the air out of me. Hailey is standing at the bar in a short, baby pink strapless dress, her hair piled on top of her head, curls dangling all around. She has on white heels that make her bronze skin glow. The bartender sits two shot glasses down in front of her and begins filling it with what I’m sure is Vodka. Hailey looks over her shoulder and her eyes find mine, she holds the stare a few minutes longer than I thought she would before she turns and says something to the bartender who then sets another two shot glasses on the bar and fills them.

  Cooper nudges me in the side with his elbow, “You should help her out.” He laughs and walks away in search of Hunter I’m sure.

  “Asshole.” I mumble, mostly to myself since he’s already walked away.

  I don’t know if I should go over there or not. I told her I was letting her go. After a few minutes of battling with myself I make up my mind and walk over to her. We need to sort this shit out, it can’t be awkward tomorrow at the wedding; MacKenzie would never forgive us.

  I place my elbows on the bar and gaze over at her. I see her tense, trying not to move a muscle.

  “You think that’s such a good idea?” I ask her. I don’t really know what else to say. Actually there is plenty to say, but not here, not now.

  Hailey turns towards me and slides a shot my way. “Cheers.” She says with a smile.

  I frown and look at the bartender who shrugs. “How many of these has she had?”

  He just shakes his head.

  “Asshole, I’m right here.” Hailey says, rolling her eyes at me.

  Drunk Hailey is out to play, this should be an interesting night.

  I take my shot, place the glass on the bar and offer Hailey my elbow. Guess we better get this party started. Hailey stares at my elbow for a minute before finally grabbing her purse off the bar and then slips her hand around my arm.

  “I don’t trust my feet to get me to where I need to go. Don’t go getting any ideas.” Hailey slurs.

  I try not to laugh but sometimes I can’t help it with her. Every time shit gets deep she drinks herself numb, her coping mechanism, much like mine.

  When we step out onto the deck that leads to the beach, everyone’s heads turn to us. MacKenzie and Hunter do the same but have their eyebrows risen. I shake my head no.

  Hailey starts to laugh and says quietly, “Did they really think we were back together?”

  My mom, who is standing the closest to us, gives Hailey a disapproving frown. That frown should be directed at me since I screwed everything up but Mom doesn’t know what happened.

  Hailey curses under her breath when she realizes she said that a little too loudly when it was supposed to be a whisper. I walk her up to where MacKenzie is standing and Hailey lets go of my arm. My sister hugs me and whispers, “I love you Mase.”

  “I love you too, sis.” I tell her, wishing it were Hailey I was telling it to.

  I stroll over and take my place next to Hunter who gives me a handshake. Cooper pats me on the back, as does Jackson. The wedding officiate starts to explain all that we need to do, we run it through once and then call it a night. Dinner is waiting for us at the hotel restaurant once we finish, I offer Hailey my arm again but this time she doesn’t take it; I guess the alcohol is starting to wear off. I shrug and walk away from her. Yeah it stings, but I’m not shocked.

  Thankfully dinner is uneventful. Since Hunter drove down with the girls he is catching a ride with Cooper and I back to the shore house.

  “I just need to get my bags from the car.” He tells me.

  Since I parked in valet, Cooper and I walk with him and the girls to get the bags. Hunter is pulling all the bags out when he comes to the last two.

  “Damn Hailey, what the hell do you have in here?” Hunter asks her.

  She starts laughing, “Wouldn’t you like to know. Someone has to keep us girls entertained for the night.”

  Hunter gives MacKenzie the eye and she starts laughing and hugs him tightly. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Hunter kisses her a few times. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my soon to be wife.”

  Cooper starts coughing while I start gagging. Jaylinn, Chloe and Hailey all have dreamy looks on their faces.

  “Alright, break this shit up before I throw up.” I grumble.

  I start walking away to meet Jackson who has Alex and Ryder with him in the lobby. Right before I walk back into the hotel I glance over at Hailey who is wiping her eyes.

  I’m not sure why she is crying. Is it because of me? Is it because of Hunter and the way he is with my sister, like no one else exists except her? I’m left with so many feelings; I’m not sure what to do with them so I do what I do best and shut them off. Steel my heart so that I can get on with the rest of my night.

 
; Our time to talk will come. Everyone loses something in life; the way to move on from it is closure. Hailey and I need that. We need our closure after another bump in our road. Straight after the wedding I’m going after her and I’m going to make her listen to me. I need to promise her that I’ll stop doing this to us.

  After the boys leave, Chloe, Jaylinn and MacKenzie all turn to me and wrap their arms around me; telling me how much they love me. Once I get all the tears out I take a deep breath, wipe my face and plaster a smile on my face. This isn’t about me, it’s all about MacKenzie.

  “I’m good now. No more tears. I got them all out.” It’s a lie, a lie that I need to make them believe.

  They all look at me with weary expressions but I just smile bigger. The girls and I reach for our bags and wheel them to our penthouse suite. This whole hotel is gorgeous. It’s located right in Cape May, on the beach, overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. From almost every point in the hotel you can see the ocean; this is the thing that sold MacKenzie on it. She wants a beach wedding and this hotel offers her everything.

  We open the door to the suite; it is posh and stylish, just like the rest of the hotel. There is a giant sitting room with a stocked bar and, a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall. There is a chic purple and black sectional sofa and a huge coffee table in the middle. Off to the left of the room is a hallway and stairs. The only thing located in the hallway is a bathroom with a small stand up shower. We all go upstairs and find a massive room that has two queen size beds, which of course I bounce right on. This bed is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like the bed is molding to my body, enveloping me. I sit up on my elbows to see MacKenzie taking in the room.

  “Kenz, come try it out.” I tell her from my spot on the bed closest to the balcony.

  She bounces on it, just the same as I did. She sighs while I stretch out like a lazy cat. She looks over at me and we both start laughing. She knows me too well, me and my dirty mind.

 

‹ Prev