by Smith, Megan
“Deal.”
I want to choose my questions carefully. I ponder for a few minutes. “How did you meet Lily?”
“At my Dad’s over the summer when we were younger.”
Interesting.
“Is Lily the girl from your past?”
“Yes.”
“Did you love her?”
Please God say no, how could anyone love that whore?
“Yes.”
Gag!
“What happened with you two?”
He doesn’t even hesitate, “Skip.”
I huff. “Fine. Do you still love her?”
“No.”
“Do you still talk to her?”
“Not since the day we broke up.”
Cole looks over at me quickly and then returns to watch the road. “Alright pretty girl, your turn.”
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice starts to play in the background. I look over at Cole, eyebrows raised. He looks over at me and starts laughing. We both reach for the radio at the same time. Cole glances at me and then drops his hand. I turn the volume up and roll my window down, letting the wind whip my hair around.
Cole starts singing and I start laughing. Damn it feels nice to laugh.
“Ice Ice Baby.” Cole sings.
“Word to your mother.” I sing back the next verse.
We both start jamming and singing along as the miles tick by, farther from my past, and closer to my future.
Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa comes on next. This time it’s me that starts singing. Cole is cracking up from me being so animated.
“You’re deflecting. I know what you’re doing, pretty girl.” Cole yells over the radio and my singing. I just nod my head to the beat.
Another hour passes and many songs later my voice is hoarse from singing and I’m tired. I roll my window halfway up and rest my head against it.
“Don’t fall asleep on me now. We’re almost there.” Cole says.
I yawn. “Just follow the GPS. I’m only going to rest my eyes.”
The last thing I remember is hearing Hunter Hayes talking about somebody’s heartbreak.
Cole pats my leg, “Come on, pretty girl, we’re here.”
I yawn and stretch. I look around and I see Logan and Zeke coming down the front steps. I jump out of the car and run up to Zeke, throwing my arms around him.
“Hails.” Zeke says as he swings me around in a circle.
“I missed you.”
Zeke sets me back down on my feet. “I just saw you.”
“I know.” I look over at Logan, “Logan.”
Logan winks, “Hailey.” Then he reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug. I sigh in relief. I thought things were going to be really awkward for us.
I turn to Cole, “Zeke and Logan, you remember Cole, right?”
“Yeah.” Both Zeke and Logan say in unison. I walk around to the back of Cole’s car and start grabbing my things. The guys follow suit and within an hour all my things are officially in my new room in Bentley’s house.
All the guys and Bentley’s sister, Nikki, are sitting around the table, drinking beer. I pull up a seat next to them and try to include myself in the conversation. I’ve caught Cole and Nikki eyeing each other a few times from the table. They’d make a cute couple, better than him and the whore.
Hours later and I’ve managed to whip up some Chicken Pasta for the guys, Nikki and Bentley, who’s not long arrived home from work. I spill some sauce on my shirt so I run upstairs to go and change, when I open my bedroom door and glance at my bed, I see a bottle of cotton candy vodka with a pink bow and a little card attached to it. I walk over and pick up the card.
Pretty Girl,
Hope this gets you through your sleepless nights.
Love,
Cole
P.S. Don’t be a stranger. Call me anytime.
I’m teary eyed; I really am a lucky girl to have found Cole. I just wish our timing had been better.
Someone behind me clears their throat and it causes me to jump. “Jesus, you scared me.”
Cole takes a step inside my room and wraps his long, strong arms around me. “I’m gonna miss you. I know that probably sounds weird considering we haven’t known each other long.”
I sniffle, “I’m gonna miss you too.”
Cole kisses the top of my head. “I’m gonna head out. I want to make sure I get some shut eye before the gig tomorrow night.”
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, “You can stay here with me. I really don’t want you driving this late.”
Cole sticks his hands in his front pockets, “That’s probably not a good idea.”
I throw my arms around him, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll see him at least for a while. “Thank you for all your help with everything, Cole. I owe you.”
Cole squeezes me a little tighter, “You’re welcome. Now fix that broken heart of yours and we’ll call it even.”
I walk Cole out to his car, standing off to the side as he starts it up and puts it in reverse. “Bye pretty girl.”
I wave goodbye. Then something hits me. Cole never asked me why I was moving and not staying. “Cole!” I yell.
Cole stops and sticks his head out of the window. “Yeah?”
“How come you never asked me why I’m moving?”
Cole hesitates for a minute. “Because I already know.” He sticks his head back in the car and backs out of the driveway. He beeps his horn as he drives away. I’m left standing here, wondering how the hell he already knows.
Cooper and I arrive home late on Saturday night; I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. I want a shower but it’ll have to wait. I walk into my room and pull my yellow t-shirt over my head and fall face first on to my bed. I take deep breath and immediately feel like throwing up. I can smell Lily on my bed, on my covers. Fucking Lily. I climb off the bed, walk to the hallway closet and grab the extra pillow and blanket that Hailey always made sure I had, in case anyone unannounced decided to stay. Hailey. Oh how I wish it was her that I could still smell. I throw the blanket down on the couch, followed by the pillow.
“What did that pillow and blanket ever do to you?” Jaylinn asks.
I whip around, she startled me. “Nothing.” I grumble and lay down the couch, covering my eyes in the crook of my elbow.
I hear Jaylinn walking around my living room but I’m not exactly sure where she is. “I heard about what happened.”
I growl. I don’t feel like talking about this shit.
“Masey,” Jaylinn rests her hand on my upper arm and pulls it away from my face. “I know how much you love her. I’m sorry that you’re hurting but I think this is best for the both of you.” I open my eyes and look over at her. “You both lost your way somehow, Masey.”
My hands ball into fists. I feel like beating the shit out of something but I know it’s only going to help for a few minutes and I think I learned my lesson when I punched my door.
“You know that saying? ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was’?” Jaylinn asks as she stands.
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me and Hailey? We’re over, Jay.” I say as my voice cracks.
“Oh Masey, it has everything to do with you.” Jaylinn kisses my cheek and then goes to seek out Cooper.
I reach over to the end table and turn off the light. It’s so dark; I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. This is how I lie until my brain finally shuts down and I fall into a dreamless sleep.
Cooper, Jaylinn and I decide to take our bikes over to our parent’s house today. I drag my feet all day until I can’t put it off any longer, Mom has already called looking for us.
“Masey!” Jaylinn yells from the front door. “Let’s go.”
I slip my wallet into the back pocket of my jeans, pick up my keys from the kitchen table and lock up the house. Jaylinn is wrapped around Cooper, both waiting on me. I slide my helmet on and fasten th
e strap under my chin, then I straddle my bike and start it up. This is one Sunday dinner I’m not looking forward to, even if Mom is cooking chicken cacciatore.
We pull into the driveway, turn off the bikes and I undo the strap under my chin. I climb off the bike and take a few steps to the house. The front door swings open and MacKenzie comes charging at me.
“What did you do, Mason?” MacKenzie yells at me. “You ran my best friend out of town!”
Out of town? What?
“What do you mean out of town?” I question her.
Hunter comes out of the house next and takes Ryder from MacKenzie’s arms. She doesn’t protest because now she is shoving me and pounding on my chest.
“She left, Mason.” MacKenzie cries. “I want my best friend back and I want my brother to fix this shit. You promised, Mase.”
I pull her into my arms and hold her until the fight starts to leave her. When I look around it’s just the two of us out here. Everything is so fucked up. Everything I touch, look at, put my hands on, goes to shit.
I drop my arms around MacKenzie. “I didn’t know that she left, Kenzie. I swear. Where did she go?”
MacKenzie glares at me. She has her arms crossed over her chest. “Why do you care? You are one of the reasons she left and her bitch of a sister is the other.”
“Tara? What did she do?”
MacKenzie huffs, “She got pregnant and is moving in with her mom, that’s what she did.”
Damn. That reason alone would have Hailey living in her car if she had to. “Shit.” I run both my hands through my hair. “Where did she go?”
“To Benny’s. Six hours away. I can’t very well go and see her any time I’d like now. You did this.” MacKenzie walks and sits down on the front steps.
I take a seat next to her. “I was working on Hailey. I went over to your house on Sunday and things were kind of back to normal. Cooper and Jaylinn came over too; it was just like old times.” I look down the sidewalk. “Then she ran into Lily and Brittany at Walgreens and they fed her some bullshit that I have been cheating on her for a while. Hailey believed them. She destroyed all my stuff and then texted me that we needed to talk. I showed up at the house and saw everything that she did.” I clasp my hands together, in front of me. “I was pissed that she believed them without even talking to me first and then I saw the destruction she’d caused and I lost it. I stormed out and met some of the guys from the team at the bar and then …” My stomach knots at the thought of what I did to Hailey and me.
“Then what, Mason?” MacKenzie questions.
“I got really drunk and blacked out. When I woke up the next morning Lily was in my bed.” I skip the details of being naked because I know she’ll think the worst anyway.
“You stupid asshole! How could you Mason?” MacKenzie seethes.
I don’t look over at her to see the rage in her eyes, the hurt. “I fucked up, Kenzie, I know.”
MacKenzie stands up and tries to shove me off the step before she turns to walk up to the house. “You’re damn right you did.” She says over her shoulder.
I sit out on the front steps, not really in the mood to enjoy family times. I don’t think I deserve to be in there, laughing and carrying on. Jackson and Chloe pull up a short while later. Chloe reaches in and unbuckles Alex from his seat while Jackson grabs their bags.
Alex comes up to me and holds his hand out for a high five. I slap his hand and he laughs. Chloe kisses my cheek and takes Alex’s hand, helping him up the steps.
“Everything ok, Little Brother?” Jackson asks as he follows his wife up the stairs.
I just nod and they walk past me and into the house.
I need to get out of here. I stand, reach into my pockets for my keys and walk over to my bike. I put the keys in the ignition, slip my helmet on, fasten it and then climb on; starting it up quickly and head back home. It was a bad idea to think I could come over here. No one coddles me because they know I don’t want it and I’ll only wind up saying shit to hurt them so they leave me alone. I’m bad company.
Saturday night rolls around and I get the call I was dreading the most. MacKenzie.
I check all my emotions and smile when I answer the phone, “Hello.”
“Hails! I miss you!” MacKenzie yells in the phone.
I laugh, “Miss you too! Did you get your freak on in Atlantis?”
MacKenzie groans and I laugh harder, “Leave it to you to get right to the point.”
“No point beating around the bush. That is unless you like that type of thing.” I say between my fits of laughter.
MacKenzie starts cracking up. “Come over.”
I stop laughing. I hold my breath because I know what’s coming next. I don’t want to do this over the phone but since I left I have no choice.
“Hailey?”
“Yeah?”
“Where are you?”
“Home.”
“Hailey?”
“Yeah?”
“Come over.”
I take a deep breath. “I can’t.” I feel the sting in my eyes because I want nothing more than to run to my best friend’s house and into her waiting arms.
MacKenzie sighs loudly, “You ran didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
I spend the next hour telling MacKenzie everything that has unfolded in the last seven days. We cry together on the phone and she promises a visit next weekend, no matter what.
The seven stages of a breakup: Stage Five – The Turn
My life is finally starting to feel as if it’s getting back to normal. Things are calmer here and I’m not as angry as I was months ago. I feel like I’m ready to get back into the swing of things. Granted I haven’t spent much time outside the four walls of my new bedroom. Zeke helped me set up my room so the only time I ever have to leave is to go to the bathroom or eat.
A week after moving into Bentley’s house, MacKenzie, Hunter and Ryder came for a visit. There were lots of tears, drinking and carrying on. Friday night, when they arrived, MacKenzie showed up with two bottles of wine, The Notebook and chocolate. Of course I started crying the second my eyes landed on hers, I missed the hell out of my best friend. After I hugged and kissed Ryder all over, MacKenzie and I escaped up to my room while the boys all hung out downstairs.
We talked about Mason and Lily, a lot. She mostly listened and chimed in here and there. Our hate towards Lily and Brittany was mutual and we would plan to get our revenge somehow. MacKenzie told me she hasn’t talked to Mason much since the Saturday she found out I was gone. He pretty much kept to himself and still refuses to talk about what happened that night at the bar when all this drama first went down. MacKenzie said that Cooper has tried to get him to open up but he just avoids it at all cost.
MacKenzie wraps me in her arms, “Hailey, you’re like a sister to me and always will be. I need you to worry about you for a while, okay? Screw Mason and everything else that has happened. I want the girl that you use to be back. The crazy, sassy, not giving a shit about anyone or anything, Hailey. You lost her and I want her back.”
She’s right, I’m not the same. I’m sad and emotional. “I’ll work on it, for you and for me. Thank you for understanding and listening to Kenzie. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Two bottles of wine later, MacKenzie and I had passed out in my bed, cuddled up to each other. Hunter came to collect his wife but she looked too comfortable so he and Ryder left her there and went back to the hotel alone.
On Saturday, we took Ryder to the beach in the morning and then to Virginia Aquarium. Spending time with them made me ache for Mason and to feel like I still belonged in their family, but I felt a little off. Things feel a bit strained because, at the end of the day, MacKenzie is Mason’s little sister. Little things she does remind me of Mason and it stings. In a way, by spending this time with her I feel like I’m also saying a little goodbye to MacKenzie as well. I need the time to heal and make myself feel whole agai
n. I love all the Cahills in their own way and would lay my life on the line for them if need be, but for right now I needed the distance. Saturday night I got a little bonding time with Ryder while MacKenzie and Hunter went to get new tattoos from Zeke. Bentley was stuck at work so that left Logan and I home alone with Ryder. Logan was great with him. He said he had become used to being around little kids since his sister had a baby, right around the same time MacKenzie did. MacKenzie called me later that night and said that they were going to be later than they expected. I told her I would keep Ryder with me overnight and give the two of them the night off. While MacKenzie was getting her tattoo, Logan met Hunter back at the hotel to get something for Ryder to sleep in. The end of the night wrapped up with Logan and I sleeping on the couch and Ryder in his pack-n-play.
Sunday morning came too fast and MacKenzie, Hunter and Ryder had to get on the road since Hunter had to work on Monday morning. I was really upset when they left and a few tears were shed. Logan swooped in and saved the day, though. He took me parasailing.
I couldn’t believe how well we were getting on, we chatted with ease on the way down to the marina, “I’ve always wanted to try parasailing but life always got in the way when I was down here the last time, you know.”
Logan turns his turn signal on when we come up to the traffic light. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Your freshman year wasn’t too much fun, huh? Seemed like there was drama following you and Kenzie everywhere.”
I laughed, “You can say that again.”
Logan looked over at me and frowned, “I’m sorry that I was part of that. I wish I would have tried harder to make you understand what happened in the library that day with Brittany.”
Later on, after we were on the boat, just off shore, I let all my worries go. Being above the water with only a parachute, the wind in my hair and the sun beating down, was kind of freeing. The view was beautiful; dolphins jumping and swimming underneath me, couples walking the beach, little kids building sandcastles and people playing and splashing in the ocean.