by Lynn Rush
“But?” I knew there was a but.
“But it’s complicated. You know, with hockey and…you leaving.” His eyes locked on to mine, the chestnut and amber swirls burning into my soul.
“You’re right,” I said. “Not to mention it’s against the team rules. It could land us both in the penalty box.”
“Shit,” he said under his breath, and his shoulders sagged. Brodie lifted our hands and tipped up my chin. “So, what should we do?”
My heart sagged like his shoulders had a second ago as the realization of what we needed to do weighed me down. “I think there’s only one option.” I brushed my thumb along his bottom lip. “We shouldn’t ever do that again.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
Brodie
“Matthew’s lucky I didn’t break his nose.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t, you hit him so hard.” Preach shook his head. “I can’t believe that jerk used Willow just to try and steal our playbook.”
“Yeah, he’s a total d-bag.” I tapped my phone screen to open Willow’s Instagram feed.
I hadn’t heard from her since last night, but I sure hadn’t forgotten that kiss. It pretty much occupied every second of every minute these last eighteen hours.
“I’m so about to crush your high score, Ice Man,” Preach yelled from the floor. “You know that’s a ridiculous gaming name, right?”
He was leaning against the foot of my bed, facing my TV while playing God of War.
“Suck it, man.” I snatched my phone and scrambled to the end of the bed where I’d left my handle. “You’re going down.”
“And yeah, you should have broken Matthew’s nose.” Preach grinned. “But you still got him pretty good. I can’t believe he did that.”
“Poor Willow. Getting used like that.”
“We tried to warn her about going out with him,” Preach said. “What a jerk.”
“Bombs away.” Caleb screamed as he sprinted into my room. With one leap, he dive-bombed me on my bed at the same time he farted. “Stink bombs.”
I half caught him to break his fall and then flopped onto my back. “Dude.”
He started jabbing and punching my stomach. “I’m gonna get you.”
I flipped him onto his back and started tickling his sides. That’d be the end of this dive-bomb mission of his. He instantly squealed, laughing his brains out. Squirming all around, kicking his legs, he about nailed me in the jewels.
“Yo. Settle.” It was almost eight o’clock and time for bed. “You’re gonna hurt something valuable.”
He laughed and squirmed away.
“What’s up, Limp Lungs?” Preach asked, never taking his focus off the TV.
Caleb laughed. “Beat his high score yet, loser?”
I palmed Caleb’s face and shoved him away. He laughed and scrambled to the head of the bed and rested back. His chest was heaving pretty good, so I kept an eye on him.
“I’m fine,” Caleb whispered and sagged against the wooden headboard. “Quit staring.”
I narrowed my eyes at him but then gave him a soft smile. “Time for bed, Limp Lungs.”
He punched my shoulder, then jumped off the bed.
“Wild little dude,” Preach said.
“I’m not little,” he yelled from his room down the hall.
“Pipsqueak,” I said back.
“Hey.”
“Bed. Now.” I shook my head, but I couldn’t help smiling.
Preach groaned and tossed his remote down. “Almost.”
“I’m the king of the ice and of God of War.” I kept playing as Preach flopped to his side on the floor.
“Mm-hmm. Well, Willow stopped three of your goal attempts at last week’s practice, so let’s get her in here and see if she can beat your top score. She probably could.”
“As if.” I slapped his shoulder, then grabbed the control and eased onto my stomach. Thanks to Preach, I was thinking about Willow yet again. Those kisses we’d stolen at the park… Damn. Last night, that accident with her host-sister back in Colorado had shaken not only her. It was a vivid reminder of the night my mom died.
And an even more vivid reminder about how quickly things could change.
I liked Willow, but we shouldn’t start anything up. That was clear. And she’d agreed.
I hadn’t told Preach we’d kissed—I didn’t dare. He’d be all over me about breaking Coach’s rule. Not that we were going to break it again, but still.
My phone pinged, but I stayed focused on the TV. I was close to breaking my high score. Plus, it was probably just Pax and Nathaniel sending me some ridiculous meme of somebody farting in someone’s face.
“Ohhhhh, IG message from Willow.” Preach sat up, holding my phone close to his face.
“Shit.” I tossed the controller down and tackled Preach around the shoulders.
We fell to the side, and my phone flopped onto the carpet. Preach grunted, then punched my stomach and flipped me off him. The next second he was on me, wrapping an arm around my neck. “Sleeper hold. I so got you.”
I elbowed his gut, and when he flinched, I squirmed out.
“Cheap shot.”
I rolled away and grabbed my cell, then bolted out of my room. My phone chimed again while I was booking it down the stairs to the main living room to get away from him. The sixty-five-inch flat screen was playing F8, right during the prison break, so I launched onto the leather couch to watch it.
Preach hollered, but then I heard his phone ring. It was his mom’s tone, probably checking in on us. She’d mentioned a couple times that Caleb and I could crash at their place anytime if we were sick of roaming around this massive house alone while Dad was on work trips. It’d been getting pretty bad with Dad being gone so much; I might take her up on it soon.
With rap music and prisoners fighting blaring from my TV, I checked my IG.
New message from Willow.
WILLOW: Hey.
ME: How are you?
WILLOW: Not so good.
WILLOW: Ericka’s in surgery right now. I’m going out of my mind.
ME: Crap. Okay. How long?
WILLOW: She’s been under for almost two hours.
ME: She’ll be fine.
ME: She’s lucky to have you in her corner.
WILLOW: Thanks, it’s been rough.
WILLOW: Distract me.
WILLOW: What are you doing?
ME: Watching F8.
WILLOW: #love
ME: You really aren’t a frilly figure skater, are you??
WILLOW: Oh, I’m so much more…
WILLOW: Too bad you’ll never know because all you ever want to do is quiz me on freaking hockey terms.
WILLOW: ((eye roll and laughing emojis))
ME: Speaking of. What does deke mean?
WILLOW: Dork.
WILLOW: And I’ve seen F8 like twenty times by the way.
ME: That’s it?
WILLOW: This year.
ME: Well damn, I’m impressed. Do you own it?
WILLOW: Yep.
ME: Put it on! I’m at the prison scene. We’ll watch together.
WILLOW: BRB
I pressed pause so I wouldn’t get too far ahead of her and rested back into the leather couch. Should I say something about the kiss? Or play it cool? Damn it. I told myself I wouldn’t get involved with a girl this year so I could stay focused on hockey, but here I was, totally jonesing for more kiss-time with Willow.
WILLOW: Here. Damn The Rock is HOT!
ME: Typical.
WILLOW: ((eye roll emoji))
WILLOW: How many times have you seen this?
ME: Too many to count.
WILLOW: You totally cried when you watched the scene where Brian and Toretto drive off after Paul
Walker died during filming.
ME: Guilty. Every freaking time.
WILLOW: Me, too.
“Wicked.” Preach landed beside me on the couch. “Love this part.”
“What’s up with your mom?” I asked.
“Just checking in.” He grinned. “You know me, I’m kind of a wild one she has to keep tabs on.”
I chuckled. Preach was basically any parent’s dream of a kid. Never did anything wrong. Totally got good grades, didn’t drink or do anything that could get him in trouble, and he volunteered at a homeless shelter, just to be nice.
“What’s up with you and Willow?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my heart suddenly racing.
Crap, did she tell Jessa about our kiss? But we’d sworn not to tell. What if the team found out? What if Coach found out?
“She just messaged you,” he said. “Is it because of the whole Matthew thing?”
“Um, yeah. And her friend. You know?” I shifted slightly so he didn’t have a good look at my phone. If she mentioned something about the kiss, I didn’t want him accidentally seeing it.
I focused on The Rock kicking butt. The way he took those rubber bullets to the chest…the guy was a stud.
“I saw Matthew at The General Store yesterday. He was still sporting a black eye.” Preach laughed and popped a couple Cheetos into his mouth, then passed the bag to me.
“He’s an ass, and I might accidentally let one of my slap shots go wild at his face next week when we play them. But I do feel bad about giving him a black eye.” I wouldn’t actually ever do that, but the fiery hot anger over what he’d done to Willow ignited to life. My heart was pounding as hard as it was the night he’d done it.
Preach eyed me from the side, then focused back on the screen. “It was cool how you had her back, you know? Taking her outta there, then hanging with her during the Ericka stuff.”
“Sure. She’s…our teammate.” I kept telling myself that was all she was. That was all she should be. I refused to get hooked on another girl only to be slashed down by her.
“You didn’t get busted for the punch, though, right? He didn’t rat?”
“Not that I can tell. He’d have to explain a lot if he did.” I chomped on a few Cheetos and zeroed in on the screen. I had English Lit homework to do, but I so wasn’t into it.
My phone chimed, and I picked it up.
WILLOW: Dude, that prison scene is the best.
ME: And that music.
WILLOW: What’s your favorite song?
ME: Stand in the Fire - Mickey Thomas
WILLOW: Never heard of it.
ME: From Youngbloods.
WILLOW: I just watched that. You know…for research purposes.
ME: LOL. You loved it.
WILLOW: Meh.
I chuckled, and Preach eyed me, then focused on the screen again. “Who are you talking to?”
“Nobody, just…scrolling.” I shifted to the side more. I probably shouldn’t be chatting with her like this, but there wasn’t any harm in getting to know her a little better, right? If this was all I could have with Willow, I’d take it. Sure, I’d much rather be kissing her, but that couldn’t happen again.
ME: Your favorite song?
WILLOW: Small Town Boy by Dustin Lynch
ME: #WEAK
WILLOW: I know you are, but what am I?
ME: See if I train you anymore.
WILLOW: Hey Brodie?
ME: Yeah?
WILLOW: Thanks.
ME: For…?
WILLOW: Last night.
My stomach flip flopped. What should I say back? Did she mean the kiss? The swing, the—
WILLOW: The swing. Telling me about your mom…
My mouth went dry and my hands were so slick, a puck would have slid right through my grasp.
WILLOW: For everything.
WILLOW: Oh, I gotta go. Ericka’s mom’s calling.
ME: Bye.
So…by everything, did she mean the kiss, too?
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Brodie
“Did you hear about Pax?” Preach asked as he steered his Jeep onto the country road that’d get us to Eric’s farm.
“Yeah, I called him.” I shook my head, slouched into the leather passenger seat. “You know, to see if he was coming tonight. Guess where he was?”
“I’m not sure I want to know.”
“Bud’s Bar, picking his dad up.”
“When?” Preach glanced at me. “It’s not even seven o’clock right now.”
“Three. He had to bolt right after school to get him.” Man, Pax’s family was a mess. His mom skipped out on them ten years ago with another guy. His dad couldn’t hold down a job. Was addicted to opioids. And here I thought I had trouble with my dad being MIA. Not to mention Rita’s last day was yesterday. Dad had fired her and George without even telling me.
“Dang. That is not good.” Preach let out a long breath. “Think he’ll come tonight?”
“Doubt it.” I kind of hoped he didn’t. Pax was my friend, but when things were really bad at home for him, he drank, and that never turned out well. And I was looking forward to a fun, relaxing night.
A twinge of guilt pulled at my heart. Pax had really been there for me in the past. I wanted to return the favor, but he could get pretty difficult to deal with when he was wasted.
“Well, I’m glad you decided to come tonight. Outside of seeing you in school a little and practice…you haven’t been around much lately.”
I let out a yawn and pulled my phone out of my back pocket so I could sit more comfortably. “Between early morning training sessions with Willow, school, homework, hanging with Caleb…”
“Well, the extra training Willow’s getting is working, isn’t it?”
“She’s kicking ass.”
“What’s going on with your dad?” Preach asked.
“That’s a great question.” I shook my head. “The guy is never home, Preach. As in never. And if he is…”
“Not pretty, huh?” Preach let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Check it.” I tapped my phone to life and found the text I got from Miles. “Brodie. Your dad wanted me to let you know he won’t be back from California today like he thought. Do you need anything?”
“Hold up. Your dad’s assistant is checking on you?”
I clicked my phone off and tossed it on my lap as the ever-familiar vise started tightening around my chest. Dad couldn’t even find the time to text me himself. Or even let me know what was up with the staff. Work was more important than Caleb and me. Everything was more important than us.
Thinking about it felt like a weighted blanket over my body, only the weight was too heavy, and it was suffocating me. And then there was Willow. I was completely wigging over her. It’d been six days since the kiss, that amazing, hot, intense kiss. I’d told her about Mom, helped her through the Ericka crisis, and then I go and kiss her like that?
We’d agreed it should never happen again, but I must be into torturing myself, because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I drew in a breath and shook my head free of Willow thoughts.
“Hey, how’s Willow’s friend, the one who was in the accident? I forgot her name.”
“Ericka. Actually, I just asked Willow about this earlier. The surgery went fine, but she’s looking at a long recovery.”
“How’s Willow handling it?”
“She’s pretty upset but hanging in there.”
Preach steered the car onto the single-lane dirt road leading to Eric’s farm. “Ready for Pine Valley on Wednesday?”
“Hell yeah.” I clapped my hands, thankful for the distraction. “I smell a perfect season.”
“Willow’s really helped, huh?” Preach
grinned.
Oh great. He just had to keep bringing her up. Dang it, I could not get her out of my mind.
“Sure has.”
“Has she mentioned anything about getting back to figure skating?” Preach pulled up behind Nathaniel’s blue Ford F150 and killed the engine. “Because she might actually beat Josiah if she decides to try out for high school.”
“Yeah, um…” I shifted in my seat. Her on the high school team. I wasn’t sure what to think about that. Sure, I wanted the best team possible, and if that meant having her in goalie, then I wanted her there. But one bummer…we’d still be teammates and couldn’t date.
Not that she wanted to date.
Not that I wanted to date.
“She hasn’t mentioned much. Something about January. Um…she needs to be all better by then.” I reached for the door handle, my chest suddenly feeling even heavier.
Willow leaving…I didn’t like thinking about it.
“Jessa said the same thing.” Preach pushed open his door. “But to have her on our team through January would be great. Gives Josiah more time to heal up and get his mojo back. You know?”
“Yep.” But it was also more time for us to get comfortable with her and then to have her leave. I couldn’t afford to get too dependent on her. Plus, I was secretly worried about Josiah coming back. He wouldn’t be in top form. There’s no way we could win State with him only operating at half of his regular capacity.
We both met at the front of Preach’s car, then started walking up the long drive. I could already hear laughing and music. Eric’s farm was huge. Every year they put on this wicked-fun hay bale maze. And it seemed like each year it got more difficult to solve.
We were the test run for the maze before he opened it up to the public.
“Woo hoo!” I recognized Willow’s voice immediately as we rounded the back of the main barn on the south side of Eric’s property.
A massive bonfire roared, brightening the darkness. Jessa and Willow were sitting on the back end of a wagon filled with bales of hay, their feet dangling over the ledge. It was coming to a stop, but before it did, Willow hopped up, then jumped off, landing solidly on her feet.
She put her hands out, spun twice, then kicked her back foot out behind her into some kind of pose. I’d seen her do that on the ice after completing a routine, but I didn’t remember what it was called.