by Lynn Rush
My soul.
After a few strides across the ice, all that was left was the thought of Willow. Willow Covington. She’d come at me out of left field. I’d had my senior year all planned out: focus on hockey, get on the BC team, and no distractions. And four months into the school year, I was secretly dating and completely falling for Willow.
My dream of playing hockey for Boston College felt like it was slipping through my fingers, too: I hadn’t heard anything further from their coach, Coach Raymond, since he’d spoken with my coach, Noah. And Caleb and I were living with Preach, no clue where tuition money might have to come from someday.
Not to mention, I was keeping Willow’s figure skating tryouts secret, hiding it so my best friend and teammates wouldn’t find out.
Everything about us broke the rules, yet, while I skated on this uneven ice with the splash of the setting sun bouncing red rays of light through the air, everything about her felt right.
Even through the darkness of Dad’s issues and Mom’s death, Willow was real. The intensity with which she played hockey, battled off all those slap shots and backhands from Right Hand of God, and then the crap Pax, Eric, and even some of the town had thrown at her, she’d handled it all with grace.
The grace of a figure skater and the guts of a pro hockey player.
Yet she was going to leave me soon to go back to figure skating. I’d known all along it was going to happen, but each day she’d not been picked to join a skating team, my disappointment for her warred with my hope of her sticking around to play hockey that much more.
Until two days ago, when that Deena Polanski showed up after our loss to the Knights and offered her a tryout. And even worse, the tryout was in four days.
I might only have four days left with Willow. A hockey puck to the forehead would have hurt less than the thought of Willow leaving.
My skates hit a bump, and I was so lost in my thoughts, it laid me out flat. The ice hit my stomach, stealing the air from my lungs. I slid, my arms out in front of me, a look even Superman himself would have been jealous of.
“Um…are you okay?”
I flopped onto my stomach, and there stood Willow decked out in a green jacket. Her long braids spilled out from beneath a bright pink stocking cap that had a fuzzy poof on the top. She’d totally snuck up on me. I glanced at where my car was parked, and sure enough, hers was there, too.
“Did you hit your head or something? Should I be worried?”
“You surprised me. I’m fine.” I flopped onto my back, the air finally making its way into my cramping lungs.
“Good,” she said, then launched herself on top of me.
Her warm mouth found mine, but her nose was frigid. I might have to work on warming her up.
I hugged her close as I tilted her head to take the kiss deeper. She’d promised to show up if she could get away, but she hadn’t been here when I’d arrived. It was okay, too, because I needed some alone ice time to process what’d happened after the game on Sunday.
Her scent and her heat curled around me as I tilted her head for more access. Her kisses were addicting, and my chest ached at the idea of walking the halls of Woodhaven and not seeing her. Hopping on the ice for drills and her not being there, kicking everyone’s ass.
She leaned up and grinned, her lips shiny from our kiss and her eyelids hanging heavy over her blue eyes. I loved that look.
I kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re cold.”
“A little. Let’s skate!” She touched a kiss to my mouth, then got up, and we jumped into a few laps of the pond.
“You doing okay?” I asked.
“Yep. Almost all packed up to leave on Friday.”
I nodded, unable to say what was really on my mind. That I wanted her to tell me we’d be all right. That we weren’t going to break up. And, as unfair as I knew it was to hope for, that she wanted to stay in Woodhaven and play hockey.
But I couldn’t. I only had a few days left with her before she headed to her tryout. I couldn’t believe how fast this was all happening.
“You’ve worked really hard for this, Willow… I know they’ll both want you.”
The sound of our blades scraping against the ice calmed my racing heart. Skating always centered me. Even when my life was in complete chaos.
“I’m not getting my hopes up,” Willow said, breaking the silence. “Well, I am a little, but I’m also scared to. Especially with my Colorado team. They’d bailed on me…didn’t believe in me. I’m not sure I could go back to them if they offered.” She sped up a little. “I was glad you texted me to see if I could sneak away for some ice time. I remember skating on this pond when I was a kid.”
It was weird to think that she’d lived here before I’d moved here and knew about this rink. I chased her for a couple more laps until she blasted ahead of me, then whipped around, skating backward.
“You want to keep going or are you ready to declare me Queen of the Pond?”
“As if.” I skated a little faster, but she sped up, too. It took some serious talent to skate backward that quickly.
She cupped her hand around her ear. “What’s that? I didn’t hear you quite right. Did you say, ‘Willow Covington is the Queen of the Pond’?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. Willow Covington is the Queen of the Pond.”
As we slowed to a stop, she bowed and waved to an imaginary audience. “Thank you, thank you very much.”
“You are legit one of the fastest hockey players I’ve ever met.”
“It’s a lot easier when I’m not wearing all those goalie pads.”
“I bet.” I eyed her fitted black pants, hugging each curve of her sexy, toned legs. Damn, I was going to miss her.
We locked eyes, and she bit her lower lip. My body heated enough that I thought I might have to take off my jacket. “Come here.”
She offered me her hand but stayed skating backward. She pulled me close until we were doing our own little dance in the middle of the pond. I tucked her head to my chest and held her close, needing her close. How she suddenly became my anchor in this world threw me for a loop. But her leaving soon was more of a slap shot to the face.
“I wanna tell you something, but I’m not sure I should,” I said.
She went to look up, but I kept her face tucked to my chest. “You okay?”
“Yes, and you’re a lot of the reason. You know that?”
“I feel the same,” she said, hugging me tighter.
We’d come to a stop in the middle of the pond. My heart hammered so hard, I was sure my voice would come out shaky if I tried to talk. But I had to. I had to tell her how I felt. I’d learned a hard and fast lesson about leaving things unsaid after losing Mom so suddenly.
Even though I might lose Willow to figure skating, I had to say it.
“I’m really falling for you, Willow.”
Her body tensed, and then her grip on me tightened. Snow started drifting around us, and a sense of peaceful quiet settled over us. I rested my cheek on the top of her head and let out a contented sigh. I’d said it. I felt it, it was true, and now I’d said it.
“Me, too, Brodie.”
Warmth washed over me as she said each word. She cared about me, was falling for me, too. A ping of sadness burst this little bubble of peace with Willow when I realized our time was seriously limited.
“I hate that you might be leaving in a few days…for good.” Fuck, I hated keeping this information from Preach and the rest of the team. It felt like I was betraying them.
“I may not make it. And if I do, you have Josiah.”
“But you do want to make it, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I mean, yes.” She nodded. “It’s my dream. I’ve always wanted it.”
It felt like there might be a but coming, but there wasn’t. She just kept skating, and I just held her.
I was going to as long as I could.
“Everything was always so crystal clear to me until I moved here.” She paused, and I tightened my hold on her and sent a silent prayer up to the skating gods that she might be reconsidering. “Now, things are a little murky. I mean, I love hockey and the team. It’s a real team—well, other than a couple guys who weren’t so welcoming at first. Plus, my mom is moving back here, and I really like hanging with Gramps.”
My mouth went dry as I waited for her to bring up us.
“And then there’s…you.”
I let out a breath of relief.
“I really like you, Brodie.”
“Enough to maybe stay? To consider a different path for your future?”
She let out a sigh, and I felt her ease away slightly. I leaned back to look down at her, but she did, too. My skates flew out from beneath me, and for the second time that day, Willow lay atop me.
“Shit, sorry,” I said, my right butt cheek throbbing.
She let out a sad laugh and nodded, her bright blue eyes reflecting the sunshine bouncing off the ice. She was so close to me, our noses almost touched, and her coconut scent wrapped around me, but since we were outside, it was mixed in with a gentle hint of pine from the trees surrounding the rink.
“You know, at the Ice Den. When you first batted that wild puck down.” I shook my head as I brushed some snow off her rosy cheeks. “Right then and there—I was yours.”
“Really?” She cocked her head to the side.
I nodded, cupping her face. Her nose was bright red, and so were her cheeks. We probably needed to get into a car pretty soon and warm up. But all I could think about was kissing her again.
“Hey, guys.” Preach sprayed us with ice as he stopped beside us. “What’s going on?”
“Ah…um,” Willow said, looking up.
“Wicked wipe out,” I finished for Willow.
“Dang, you guys sure end up tangled in each other a lot,” Preach said with a laugh as he started skating away. “If you weren’t teammates, I’d say you were doing it on purpose.”
We both let off a nervous laugh as we scrambled to our skates.
Damn, that was close.
CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE
Willow
I’d been in Miami for two days, testing, going through evaluations, and today, the last day, we were with our families, taking a final, in-depth tour of one of the most prestigious, state-of-the-art facilities I’d ever skated in.
“Here is our heated, Olympic-sized pool.” Deena opened a glass door. We followed her through, inhaling the humid air.
In front of us was a beautiful pool with inviting water. What I wouldn’t have given to slip into it after the last hockey game. Finishing up with a dip in a hot tub.
“It’s perfect for cardio and rehab.” Deena continued walking. “We have a sauna, steam room, and of course, three hot tubs.
“Locker rooms on your left and right. Now, if we head through here,” she said, exiting a second set of glass doors, “we’ll visit the physical therapy clinic.”
Two rows of ten treatment tables were lined up on the right side of the room. On the left side were ten treadmills, seven stationary bikes, and at least a half dozen elliptical machines.
Five women were lined up in the back, all wearing matching black shirts and khakis. Behind them were lockers and shelves stuffed with athletic equipment from yoga balls to jump ropes.
“This is our physical therapy staff. They work around the clock and are able to address any of your needs.”
The women stood with smiles on their faces and their hands clasped behind their backs.
“And that concludes our tour of the Miami International Skating Center.” Deena grinned. “Let’s head back to the conference room, and I’ll be able to answer any final questions you have now that you’ve all been here a couple of days.”
Nearly forty of us entered the conference room. Most skaters had at least one parent or guardian present, but a few of us had two. I was so glad it worked out for Mom and Dad to both come with me. All this had happened so quickly, my head was still whirling.
Skating at the highest level had been my dream since I was a kid. I’d had a taste of it, the lifestyle, even medaled at the World Junior Figure Skating Championships two years ago, then got injured and was thrown into something so unexpected. A team of hockey players I once deemed puck heads had shown me a whole different world of competitive sports and teamwork.
A world I didn’t hate, either.
This facility was perfect, and it had everything I needed to get back to 100 percent. There was no doubt I’d reach the World Championships and then the Olympics if I was on this team.
Then there was Brodie. I knew that I couldn’t make a decision about my future based on a guy, especially someone I was secretly dating. But, damn, I cared about him, a lot. The thought of never getting to kiss him again felt like a skate directly to the heart.
Like my heart was being torn in two.
What the hell was I going to do?
Skating, what I’d wanted all my life, was on one side and hockey, a sport I’d come to love and excel at, was on the other.
As we moved farther into the conference room, I noticed rolling chairs sitting behind a massive mahogany table, in front of each one a tote bag, like the one Deena had given me after the Holiday Classic Tournament.
“Please feel free to ask your questions, hit the restrooms, or grab a snack and a drink.” She motioned to a long, thin table pushed against the wall in the back of the room. It was overflowing with fresh fruit, bagels, cream cheese, and bottles of water and juice.
As parents began rattling off questions, I excused myself and went to the back to grab a bottle of water and some pineapple.
“Hey,” a girl with shiny blond hair whispered from beside me. “What do you think of this place? Pretty amazing, huh?”
I turned toward her and nodded. “Definitely.” She looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her face.
“Not sure if you remember me, but we met two years ago at the last Junior Championship. You won gold. Your routine was amazing. Inspiring, really.” The girl extended her hand. “I’m Shayna, Shayna Holland. I was one of the flower kids. You got a million roses and teddy bears that day.”
“Wow. That’s awesome.” Dang, she was young. Thirteen at the most. I shook her hand. “It’s super nice to meet you.”
“When I heard that you might be training here, I got really excited.” She bit into a piece of apple. “You’re, like, my hero.”
Now I felt practically ancient sitting next to her. Every year of a skater’s life was like two normal years. Most skaters aged out in their mid-twenties. I only had seven or eight years left—and that was pushing it. That meant one or two shots, max, at the Olympics.
“Do you have any tips on landing a triple axel? I’m just really struggling,” Shayna said.
“Back scratch spins are everything. Practice them and you’ll feel more comfortable in the air. You’ll rotate more efficiently and be less likely to go crooked, which makes it harder to land,” I said.
“Holy smokes! I’d never thought of that. Dang, you’re brilliant! Can you be my coach?” She gave me a big smile, which warmed my heart.
“Thank you.” Wow. This girl was really sweet. Her blond hair was pulled into two braids, then piled atop her head. It looked like she was ready to hop on the ice and compete because she had all her performance-style makeup on. Her skin was flawless, and her smile filled her face.
“When I heard about your Achilles…I can’t even…” She exhaled as she shook her head. “It’s really amazing, that you’re recovered and all. A lot of times when that goes, well, you know.” She slid her finger across her throat.
A phantom ache shot through my ankle.
“Well, it took a
lot of hard work.” And it had. But today, in the final round of assessment, I’d nailed almost all my jumps.
But it sure felt different to be on the ice without all my goalie gear on.
“Sorry. Sometimes I talk too much. Like, right now.” Shayna shook her head. “Officially shutting up!”
“Don’t apologize,” I said.
Her cheeks turned bright red. “Fair point. I better go sit back down.”
“It was nice meeting you, Shayna.”
“You, too.” She rushed back to a chair next to a woman wearing a black dress.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and snuck a quick peek.
ERICKA: You’ve got this!
A smile tugged at my lips.
JESSA: Good luck!
JESSA: ((figure skate emoji))
I have the best friends…
BRODIE: Kick ass today!
BRODIE: ((kiss emoji))
And the best boyfriend.
My palms were suddenly damp.
What if he breaks up with me after I move down here?
What if Jessa slips up and tells Preach where I am?
All of the lying had been weighing me down, but it was the only way.
As the questions wrapped up, I piled a few more pieces of fruit on my plate and then headed back to the chair between my parents. If I got accepted to the team, no more pizza parties after games with the guys. It’d be back to a strict nutrition plan and full days of training.
No more seeing Brodie in the hallways. Sneaking kisses.
No more Nathaniel joking around with me.
No more team pregame pasta dinners at Taste of Rome.
Deena stood up and straightened her jacket. “If that’s everything, please feel free to explore. We have one final dinner scheduled for tonight. Decisions on the team will go out in a few days.”
“This place is pretty impressive.” Dad looked around.
“Easily as nice as Colorado,” my mom said, nodding.
“If not nicer,” Dad added.
I swallowed a piece of pineapple and took another sip of water. Colorado. After seeing this place…no way could I go back there, if they even offered. Which it didn’t seem like they were, since I’d never heard anything after they’d requested my medical records.