“The cake wasn’t bad,” he conceded.
“Hold up. You and you,” Chelsea said, gesturing to Taylor and Sydney. “You two are planning Liam’s party together?”
“Amazing, I know.” Sydney tossed her hands up.
“It was fun, and we got a lot done.” Taylor turned to Liam and sung, “Your party is going to be amazing.”
“When is this amaze-balls party?” Shane asked.
“Three weeks. So, Sonja and Sebastian will be back,” Sydney cheered.
Sonja fist pumped the air.
Two rounds of shots later, we left and went to The Beacon. Liam set us up in one of the VIP tables, a much nicer one than we had my first night out in LA.
We went to the crowded dance floor, and Sydney, Sonja, and I danced in a tight circle with Sebastian and Ethan around us. I tried to lose myself in the pulse of the music, but I stayed acutely aware of Ethan’s location. I was drawn to him like a magnet, the closer he came to me, the stronger the pull and faster my heart beat. I wanted to keep people between us, to deny the connection. But then the crowd shifted, and Ethan was behind me dancing. His warm breath on my neck and hand splayed flat on my stomach was an electric circuit, a delicious current running through my blood. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, moving with his body, feeling fire at every place we touched. When I opened my eyes, Sydney’s expression caused a shocking wave of guilt.
Ethan must have felt the shift in me. He pressed me back into him with a hand on my hip and leaned into my ear. “We’re just dancing,” he soothed.
Sydney danced in front of me and grabbed my hands, pulling me closer to her and away from him. We’d been trading dance partners this way all night, so it was easy to pretend this was no different. But it was different. All of it.
I signaled to the girls that I was going to the restroom and escaped the dance floor.
Returning from the bathroom, I walked down a long red hallway. The music was muffled behind the walls, but the beat vibrated my bones.
Liam leaned against the wall a few feet away, and I hesitated when I saw him, but attempted to ignore him and walk by.
“Kate.” He brushed my elbow as I passed.
I turned to him. “Yeah?”
“Can we not do this?”
I crossed my arms. “What?”
He laughed. “That attitude.” He took a step towards me. “The ignoring me.” He leaned in closer. “The attempts to make me jealous.”
I shook my head, trying to think. “It’s—I wasn’t—” I closed my mouth and tried again, “You’re right. This needs to stop. We were never that serious, and you have a history with Taylor. I’m happy for you two. I didn’t mean to ignore you; I just didn’t know how to act.” I shrugged my shoulder.
“And this thing with you and Ethan?” he questioned.
“Is between Ethan and me. It’s not for your benefit,” I answered shortly and shifted on my feet, anxious to end this conversation.
He leaned on the wall beside him and crossed his arms. “All right, so we’ll drop the tension and act normal?”
“Sure, we just have to figure out what that is.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Fair enough, maybe we can figure that out over a drink.”
“Let’s go,” I confirmed, not at all sure that it was a good idea, but sure that I wanted to leave the seclusion of the hallway.
The others were still on the dance floor, so we were the only ones at the table.
Liam handed me a filled shot glass and held up his own. “To friends?”
Laughing, I raised my hand to stop him from drinking. “That toast hasn’t worked too well for us.”
He smirked. “I don’t know. I remember it working really well one night.”
I frowned.
“I’m kidding,” Liam claimed. He poked me. “Don’t be so sensitive. What should we toast to?”
“To finding normal.”
“And staying the hell away from it,” he added.
We both downed our shots as Sydney and Ethan returned to the table.
“What’s going on?” She asked, glancing between Liam and me with a knowing look.
Ethan sat next to Liam, and Sydney squeezed in next to me.
A server delivered them new drinks the moment the two sat down. She must have been assigned to our table. She never went far, and her service had been prompt all night.
I sipped on my drink to cover the awkwardness, but Sydney continued staring at me with a suspicious smile.
“So what have you two been up to?” She asked with exaggerated sweetness.
“Cut the crap Sydney. We’re just friends,” Liam explained.
She raised one eyebrow as the smile left her face. “I bet you are.” She chugged her drink and handed the empty glass out for the server. “I’ll have another.”
She turned to me with narrowed eyes. “I expect this shit from Liam; he is what he is,” she slurred. “But you? You act so innocent.” She stood up and pointed to me as she addressed Liam and Ethan. “Watch out boys, this one’s trouble.” She laughed and sat back down, hitting my knee. “I’m teasing.” She waved away the boys. “Stop looking at me like that. I’m just teasing. Lighten the hell up.”
I had no response. I sat back and took another sip of my drink. Sydney had always been nice to me, but something seemed to have shifted, and I don’t think it could be solely blamed on the alcohol.
The others returned to the table with additional guest. Our party of eleven grew with the night, and by time we returned to Sonja’s and Chelsea’s house, there were close to thirty people.
Sebastian pulled on Sonja’s arms, lifting her from her seated position on the couch. “We need to get to bed,” he explained, tucking her under his arm. He addressed anyone who could hear him, “We have a long day of traveling tomorrow. Thanks for tonight everyone.”
After they walked out of the room, Sydney snorted. “He is so stuffy. What the hell does she see in that?”
Taylor wobbled on her feet. “His family is practically royalty. She can’t do any better than that. They’re well paired, and that’s important.”
Ethan stood and walked away from the conversation, going outside where others were drinking around the pool.
Taylor rolled her eyes. “He’s so sensitive. He needs—”
Liam squeezed her arm and shook his head as he warned in a low voice, “Shut up. He could be any of us.” Then he walked after his friend.
Taylor heaved herself back in the chair. “Everyone’s so sensitive.”
Sydney laughed and nodded in agreement. “I know, right? What ever happened to just lightning the hell up?”
They both laughed and raised their glasses in agreement.
I excused myself and went to bed, certain that nothing good could happen from staying up.
My father sat at the table with a newspaper spread in front of him and a coffee cup in one hand.
He looked up, surprised. “Kate, come join me for breakfast.”
I’d slept over after the late night and was about to leave, but I decided to accept his invitation. I sat in a chair near him, and a server materialized almost instantly with another cup and a coffee pot. I nodded in answer to the unspoken question, and a full cup of coffee was placed in front of me.
My father leaned back in his chair. “I’m glad we have this opportunity to talk. Your mother and I have been concerned.”
I instantly regretted my decision to stay for breakfast.
“It seems you’ve been spending your time with questionable company.”
“Who?” I set my cup down. “I hang around my sisters and their friends.”
“There is a difference between spending time in a group of people and spending time one on one with someone. The perception is different and”–He raised his hand to stop me from interjecting—“if you want to be associated with this family, you need to be careful with your time and actions. Public perception is important; we don’t want to tarnish ours.”
The server returned with a platter of omelets and then set up a place setting across from me. It was only then that I realized there had been only two place settings on the table, and I had taken one.
I wondered who else was expected, but then I quickly refocused on my father’s words, if I wanted to be associated with the family?
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, tired of the vague lecture.
The server placed an omelet on each plate and then excused herself.
My father leaned towards me. “You need to limit your interaction with this Brenner boy, especially time spent alone together. I don’t know why he’s still involved in my daughter’s social circle, but they at least contain their time around him to social situations.”
“Why?” I asked confused. His issues with Ethan seemed much larger than money alone.
My father looked past me to the dining room entrance and smiled. “Ah, Natasha, I was wondering when you would join us.”
A tall, thin, blonde woman clad in only a silk robe walked in and kissed my father as he stood to pull out her chair.
“I didn’t realize we’d have company for breakfast. I apologize for my attire.” She had a slight accent I couldn’t place.
“It’s all right. This is my daughter Kate. Kate, this is Natasha Lyons.”
My stomach constricted. This woman had slept over and was obviously comfortable with my father. She was not a one night fling; she had to be a longstanding girlfriend. I recalled my mother smiling when she told me about her Sunday night dinners and Connor spending the night with her.
“As I was saying before,” he addressed me. “His family embezzled money to acquire their wealth. It was only discovered when they passed away. Ever since, he has been attached to the Ludlows. I’m not mad at your choices, you didn’t know. But he is a predator and sees that you’re vulnerable. I will not allow him to leech onto this family. Now that you’ve been informed, I expect this not to be an issue anymore,” he said definitively and took a bite of his egg.
I sat stunned, absorbing the information and the scene in front of me. Natasha kept her eyes cast down at her plate in an attempt to stay out of the conversation. My heart dropped like a stone into my stomach only to be engulfed in flames of anger.
“I’ve expected a lot of things.” I pushed away from the table and stood up, teeth clenched as I looked from my father to Natasha. “And not one of them happened. But I’ve at least learned that people do whatever the fuck they want.” The words spilled out before I could even consider them.
Connor stood up, his hands braced on the table as he leaned towards me. “If you want to stay in this family, you will learn to control yourself and respect my demands.”
I walked out of the room and out of the house without responding.
~Carly~
Carly woke up alone.
Connor had left the office yesterday with the promise to come by later, but he didn’t.
Instead, a package was sent to the condo. Another expensive gift in the absence of the man.
She knew better than to call. He would be with her; that was a given. And she didn’t want to give him the opportunity to send her call to voicemail.
She trudged to the kitchen for coffee and passed the unopened box he’d sent last night.
Her fingers slid over the silk ribbon that clasped the package closed. She pulled on one string, releasing the bow. Did she want to see?
She opened the lid and sighed. It was lingerie. Beautifully, seductive, lace lingerie. This should have brought her joy, but it had the opposite effect. It was a poison seeping into her bones.
The message was clear. He was thinking of her in a sexual way, but still, he stayed with her instead. Would they ever be more? This was not the relationship she had in mind. Was there still hope that she could be the next Mrs. Baycroft?
Her phone rang from the counter. It was Connor’s ring tone. For the first time this morning, Carly smiled. Maybe there was still a chance.
Chapter Fourteen
You never find yourself until you face the truth
Pearl Baily
When I entered the condo, my mother stood up and closed her computer in one fluid motion. “Kate, I was just on the phone with your father.” She rounded the kitchen counter, stepping towards me. “You need to get a hold of yourself and apologize to him. He is very concerned about you.”
“Is that what he told you? That he was concerned for me?” My laugh was bitter. “That man only cares about himself and what makes him look good.” I sat on the bar stool and rested my head in my hands, trying to decide how to tell my mother about Natasha.
“Look at me Kate.” She stepped towards me again. “That man is your father and our last chance at having a decent life. You need to listen to him. It's that boy that you need to be angry with. He's using you.”
My thoughts expanded in all directions. We had lived without Connor's aid before, and if he was such a jerk to take away what he’d given us this month because he couldn't control my choices, then so be it.
“Did Connor tell you who was at breakfast with us?” I asked and could tell by her confused look that she didn’t know. “I didn't just get angry about his demands for me. I got angry that he lied to you. His girlfriend was there, Mom. She’d spent the night. He’s been leading you on.”
She flinched as I spat out my words but quickly smoothed her features and stood up tall. “That's what you lost control about? You're even stupider than I thought,” she sneered. “You thought you were defending me? All you're doing is messing up everything I've worked for.”
I leaned back as she crowded into my space.
She braced one hand on the back of my chair and the other on the table in front of me. “I know about his girlfriend. That's why he keeps me around. I don't pressure him to do anything. I accept him and make his life a little easier.” She stood herself up and smoothed down her hair. “Now grow up and stop being a selfish brat. It's time you join the real world or you will end up with nothing. You need to apologize to him or I can't protect you. I will not let you drag me down again.”
I sprung up, disbelieving her words and actions. Anger burned in my veins, looking for a release. “Drag you down?” I asked. “I can't possibly drag you down any lower than you are now.” I took a step towards her, and she stood her ground. “You're nothing but a prostitute. You might be well paid, but you're still just a fucking prostitute.”
Her palm cracked across my cheek. Hard.
My head whipped to the side with the force of her blow, and I grabbed my cheek as it began to tingle and burn. Something in me snapped, maybe it was my sanity, and I laughed.
She stepped back, her eyes wide with shock, and gripped her hand with the other. “You need to get ahold of yourself.”
I wasn't sure if she was talking to herself or me, but it didn’t matter. I sucked down the last bit of bitter laughter and walked out the door.
My face throbbed where she had slapped me and my eyes began to water. I was shaking when I entered the elevator, and I closed my eyes, trying to contain the anger and hurt that clashed in me. When the elevator opened to the lobby, I’d gained control over my shaking but little else. My only thought was to get to the car.
“Kate.” Someone grabbed my arm.
I tried to focus. Ethan was in front of me. He’d been walking into the lobby as I was exciting.
“Are you all right?” He asked, concern creasing his forehead.
I needed to get away. With a tight nod, I pulled my arm from his grip and turned to leave.
He grabbed my elbow, stopping me. His other hand lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him as he inspected my face. “Beauty, what's happened?”
His endearment relit my anger, reminding me of everything false.
“Don't touch me.” I jerked from his grip. “I don't know what type of game you're playing at, but it won't work. I'm not some stupid girl you can sweet talk into things. Go try that crap with someone else and lea
ve me the fuck alone.”
I took a step back and sucked in air. The words burned my throat as if they were an extension of my anger spewing out of me like fire.
Ethan's face hardened, the muscles of his jaw flexing as he worked it. He walked backward as he spoke, “That's how it is? Fine. I'm done.”
I hesitated a moment, and then I walked away.
The tears started when I was safely inside my car. Sobs shook my body as I leaned on the steering wheel, releasing all the disappointment of the day. I quickly composed myself before I released emotions I’d never be able to wrangle back into submission. I sat up and wiped away my tears with the palm of my hand and checked my reflection in the rearview mirror. My eyes were puffy from crying, and the side of my face was red where my mother had struck me.
I looked ahead at the concrete wall of the parking garage, trying to think of what to do and where to go. The friends I made in LA were all connected with my father. There was only one person I could turn to. I picked up my phone that my father had given me and called Lexi.
“I’ve said fuck three times today.” I sat crossed leg on Lexi's bed.
Lexi sat across from me in her large sweatpants and t-shirt and her hair tied up in a messy bun. The look was made complete with red framed glasses. Even dressed down, she was gorgeous. It added to the surreal feeling of the day.
“How did that make you feel?” she inquired.
I picked up the pillow behind me and swung it at her. She blocked the blow as it hit her side without a sound.
“Stop using your psychology techniques on me.”
“You should be thankful. I'm a kick ass student. You’re getting counseling services from the next big name in psychiatry.” She laughed. “Seriously though, you never cuss. Didn't it feel good to let it out?”
I looked at my fingers tangled in my lap. “At the time, yes. Now, not so much. But my biggest regret is calling her a prostitute.”
I’d already relayed the morning events to Lexi. She’d listened quietly and then absolved me of any blame. She declared my actions reasonable, but she used more colorful language. I was beginning to doubt her judgment as the anger receded, leaving a charred hollow hole in its wake. Doubt and guilt began to creep into the empty spaces.
It Goes On Page 14