The music and laughter faded to a hum as I walked off the boat and down the pier to the parking lot. I had to wait for my car to return from dropping off Lexi. I should have left with her. But a part of me was glad I hadn’t. Now I knew the truth, and that made moving much easier.
“Kate, I’m sorry. Please, let me explain everything.” Ethan jogged to the bench where I was sitting.
I dropped my head into my hands. I was exhausted and desperately wanted this night to be over. “I can’t take anymore tonight. Just leave me alone.”
He stopped at my words, staring at me. I hated that he still had an effect on me. What little I had left seemed to pull towards him. My skin tingled as he took another step closer, and his eyes drew mine. I refused to move, but I didn’t have the strength not to look at him.
He sunk to his knees in front of me, and I sat frozen, our gaze locked on each other as his hands moved towards me.
“I love you,” he said, his hands circling my waist.
I don’t know if it was his touch or words that severed what little grasp I had on my control, but either way, it was gone. I jumped up and pushed him away from me, taking a few steps back and putting a safe distance between us. But even in the darkness, his green eyes were bright and weakened me.
“Leave. Me. Alone,” I screamed at him.
He stared up at me from his knees, his hands gripping his legs as he shouted back. “I can’t.”
Then Sonja and Shane were there. Sonja pulled me into a hug and Shane lifted Ethan to his feet.
“Just go,” Sonja said to them over my shoulder.
“Kate, please don’t do this,” Ethan said, pulling out of Shane’s grip.
“Give her some space. Talk to her another time.” Shane stepped in front of him, blocking his path to me.
Our Limo pulled up to the curb. Before the driver could get out, I opened the door and slid in.
Ethan shot forward and held the door, keeping me from closing it. He leaned into the car, “I’ll leave with you. I can explain everything.”
I shook my head and tried to close the door, but he maintained his grip.
The driver walked around to my side of the car. “Sir, you need to let go of the door. Ms. Sonja, are you leaving too?”
Sonja looked between Shane and Ethan.
Shane grabbed Ethan’s shoulders. “I’ll stay with him. Come on, Ethan, you can talk to her tomorrow when we’re sober.”
The driver stepped in front of Ethan, speaking low as Sonja slid in next to me.
Ethan stepped away from the car, his gaze locked on me even when the door closed. I couldn’t look away either. Then in the next moment, we drove off, and I slumped low in the seat.
Sonja grabbed my hand, holding it as we rode home in silence.
“You’re not packed.” My mother narrowed her eyes as she looked around my room.
I gripped the comforter for courage as I sat on the edge of my bed. “I’m not going.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Kate, is this about that boy? Don’t give him that power over your life. You need to do what’s best for you.”
“That’s what I’m doing, what’s best for me. I can’t keep following you around and USC is a good school.” My voice cracked with emotion. I knew I had to make my own choices, but it didn’t make saying no to her any easier.
She sat on the bed next to me and grabbed my hand in hers. “Sweetie, this time is going to be different. I have a job I’m very happy about, and I’ve already made some connections in San Francisco.” She stroked my hair. “I know I haven’t been the best mom. My priorities were all wrong. But I want to change; I love you. I want the best things for you, and I honestly think that this move will be good for you.”
I smiled at her words. Words I wanted to hear from her but found hard to believe. Only her actions could prove them. “I love you too. I hope you’ll be happy there and find whatever it is you need. But if you love me, then support my decision. I’m going to stay.”
She straightened up and dropped my hand. “Okay.” She looked away from me and wiped a tear from under her eye. Nodding her head, she turned back to me with a tight smile. “Try things your way. But know you can always join me later.”
I leaned into her open arms and hugged her. “I love you, Mom.”
“You’re not moving with your mother?” my father asked.
I sat across from him at our typical table in the country club.
I shook my head. “I’ve already enrolled at USC, and I like my job. I’m going to focus on my education for now.”
After Liam’s party, I’d wanted to move, but once I had time to separate myself from the events, I realized I wasn’t making my decision for me. I couldn’t stay or leave for anyone else but myself. If I was going to live my own life, I needed to stop following my mother, and I needed to stop running away.
LA was large enough that I could stay and avoid my sister’s friends, especially since they were an exclusive group. The only problem was the condo.
“I’ve decided to move in with Lexi until school starts.” I made sure to state my intentions; I didn’t want him to think I was asking permission.
His finger stopped it’s tapping on the white tablecloth. “Are you saying you no longer want my support?” he leaned in closer. “Maybe you should move with your mother then. If you’re in this town, you reflect on me.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I’m staying here. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but I want to build my own life. I’d like you to be part of it, if you are willing to let me make my own choices.” His cynical look prompted me to continue, “To be clear, I’m not talking about money. I’d like to try to have a personal relationship with you. My job offers tuition assistance and scholarships, and I can take out loans for the rest.”
“You surprise me,” he said with a sigh, and I couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or bad. “What can I say? You’re determined. I can see myself in that. I’m proud of your drive to succeed on your own, but I will not allow you to go into debt. I’ll cover your college and any other expenses you may have.” He raised his hand, stopping me from talking. “Just do well in school, that’s all I require. And allow me to take you to lunch once in a while.” He winked at me with a warm smile.
I could see the charm that had attracted my mother to him. I wouldn’t make the mistake of trusting him so soon, but I was willing to accept our relationship for what it was. I’d give us a chance to build a relationship but keep my boundaries firm.
I was building my own life.
After the last box was in, I turned to one of the building employees and slid him a tip. “Thank you.”
A truck had already driven ahead to Lexi’s with my furniture; everything from the condo was packed. Tightness squeezed my chest as I stare up at the building one last time. Lowering my eyes, my heart sunk as Liam walked out of the entrance.
I closed my trunk, hoping he’d just walk by.
Ethan had tried to contact me several times, but I’d ignored his calls. It was easy to avoid him since I was staying at Lexi’s.
“Kate, you got a minute?” He asked, his usual cocky demeanor gone. His hands were shoved in his jean pockets as he hesitated to approach. His pretty face was covered in hair; he looked like he hadn’t shaved or showered in days.
I leaned against my car, arms folded, and waited for him to continue.
“I’m sorry about everything.” He shrugged one shoulder. His golden eyes raised to meet mine. “Especially Saturday night. I was a jerk and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, okay.” I wasn’t feeling charitable.
“I’ve had some issues.” His eyes shifted. “I’m going to rehab. It’s not an excuse, but I was high and I regret how I acted.”
“I hope that works out for you,” I said sincerely.
He looked at me again with a ghost of a smile. “Sonja hasn’t talked to me since that night either. I don’t think I can make any calls for a while, not that she would answer anyw
ays. Can you let her know I’m sorry?”
I nodded, still not clear about what all had happened that night.
Sonja told me that Liam had gotten weird, threatening to fight guys who looked at her, and he tried to kiss her. She’d hadn’t known about Liam and Ethan’s game, although she had noticed that they always went after the same girls. She was adamant that Ethan had not attempted anything with her though. She’d only vented to him about Liam.
He looked at my car filled with boxes. “So you’re really moving then?” I nodded and he continued, “For what it’s worth, Ethan really did like you. I should have never told you about our challenge. You weren’t part of it; not to him anyways.” He flashed a crooked smile. “I told you I was a jerk. When I saw Ethan talking to you at his pool party, I made you a challenge. But Ethan told me the night we fought Tristan that he had feelings for you and you weren’t part of the game. For him to tell me that, he must have been thinking it for a while.” He shrugged. “Call him or something. He’s been trying to talk you, but you haven’t been around. Now you’re leaving…” He surprised me by hugging me. “Good luck.”
I returned the hug briefly before stepping out of his embrace and saying goodbye. Then I walked to the driver’s side of the car. Glancing in the rearview mirror as I drove away, I saw Liam raise his hand in farewell and then pulled out his phone, calling someone.
“It doesn’t make a difference, he still lied to me. I was more honest with him than I had been with anyone, but he lied to me,” I explained to Lexi. We sat in the living room as our dinner baked in the oven.
She hugged her knee to her body and raised her eyebrows. “Well, congratulations then. Looks like you found your excuse.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, frustrated by her attitude. We were supposed to be celebrating my first day officially moved in, but she’d been giving me attitude since she got home from work.
“You.” She threw her hands up in the air. “Fuckin A’, Kate. We’ve been talking about you for days. You’re so sad. Ethan keeps calling. You can’t trust him. You miss him. Blah, blah, blah. You have been trying to find a reason to run from that relationship since it started, now you have the perfect excuse. And just in time, you were starting to open up to him, and that scared you.”
I sat silent for a moment. “What’s going on Lexi?”
“I’m sorry.” She sighed and rested her head on her raised knee. “I’m just taking my frustration out on you. I mean, it’s all true, but I should have said it differently.” She slid her fingers through her thick hair. “Chase hasn’t been calling me at all, and Ethan keeps leaving messages for you. He even called me.” She shook her head with a sad smile. “That boy has it bad for you, and you’ve been miserable. I know it’s not my relationship, but shit, from my perspective, I believe him. You said yourself he could have slept with you sooner, but he waited. And he keeps trying to talk to you. That doesn’t sound like a game.”
“I’m sorry, I haven’t asked about you and Chase.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “There’s nothing to tell really, we haven’t talked. It’s your choice Kate, but I think you should at least let the boy know you didn’t move to another city.”
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to my father’s for a family dinner.
I hadn’t spoken to Chelsea since Liam’s party two weeks ago. I’d hung out with Sonja but only a couple of times at Lexi’s, and Shane came with her once. She said Liam really did go into rehab but would be out in time for school in the fall. She hadn’t seen Ethan at all.
Chelsea didn’t seem fazed by my presence at the table. Her cool demeanor stayed in place as she talked about weekend plans. I decided to accept her for who she was. My sister by blood only. I would treat her the same way she treated me, civilly but with little warmth.
“I have to leave for my flight in twenty minutes, is everything ready for this evening?” our father asked.
I looked towards Sonja, curious and apprehensive at his question.
Sonja shrugged but shifted her eyes towards me, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Yes, the event coordinator is setting up the yard now, and the caterers are all set up in the kitchen,” Chelsea answered him.
“And what is this party for again?” He asked, glancing between the three of us.
“It’s whatever we want it to be. A summer party.”
My heart dipped in anticipation. I was not going to stay for this. I didn’t want to see any of these people.
Sonja grabbed my hand under the table. “We should go get ready.” She turned to our father. “Bye Daddy, I’ll see you when you return. Have a good trip.”
I followed her, and the second we stepped into her room, I questioned, “What’s going on? Why didn’t you warn me about this?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come. Please stay; Shane will be here soon. You can’t avoid everyone forever.”
“Yeah, I can. I don’t have to go to these events. I don’t need to put myself in the same room with Taylor or Sydney or Ethan. I’m over the drama.” I wasn’t though. My heart had never recovered from it, from Ethan.
“Please, Sydney wants to talk to you and apologize. She was really drunk.”
There was a light knock on the door frame, and then Shane stepped through the opening. “Hey, why are you lovely ladies just sitting there? Aren’t you supposed to be preparing for a party?” His voice was full of its typical energy, but he eyed me warily.
Sonja pouted. “She’s not going to stay.”
Shane cocked his head and folded his arms. “Well, we can’t force you to stay, but don’t let some catty bitches ruin your fun. I’ll stick by your side doll; no worries.”
I smiled at him. He wore a knitted hat over his shaggy hair, and his small frame was covered in fitted designer clothes. As typical, his style shone brighter than any of his features. I wanted to trust him, but my open wounds made it hard. “Another night. We can go out somewhere without everyone else around. But not tonight.”
“But—wait.” Sonja rose to her feet as I stood to go and looked to Shane urgently.
He smiled. “It’s all good, we can go out tomorrow. See you then doll.” He kissed my cheek and then nodded to Sonja as he exited the room. “I’ll see you at the party, sunshine.”
I walked down the steps to the front door, and Sonja followed behind.
“I’m going to make you stick to going out with me tomorrow,” Sonja said as I opened the door.
My stomach churned with nerves as I saw the valet setting up out front. I looked back at Sonja, anxious to leave. “Okay, just be sure it’s only us.”
I gave her a hug but pulled away when I saw Ethan step through the back door behind Shane.
He froze when he saw me, just as surprised as I was.
Sonja turned to Shane with a smile, satisfaction in her voice. “Come help me check on the food.”
They disappeared, leaving Ethan and I staring at each other through the length of the empty hall.
“I thought you moved away,” he said with a low, strained voice, and in a few long strides, he crossed the distance between us. “Liam said he saw you packed up.”
His presence was heavy, making it hard to breathe.
“I moved to Lexi’s,” I explained, breathless and unable to tear my eyes from his.
Staff walked through the front door, and Ethan pulled me to the side, out of the way of the open door.
“I didn’t know you’d be here. This explains why Shane wanted to come so early. I was going to make your sisters call you for me, maybe you’d answer the phone for them. But you’re here.” He scanned my face in disbelief, hope in his pain filled eyes. “I’ve missed you.”
Emotion choked me. I wasn’t prepared for the wave of feelings that surged through me with just one look from him. I shook my head, trying to break the pull I felt. “I’m not staying. I was just leaving.”
His hands gripped my shoulders. “Wait. Let me tal
k to you first. Let me explain and apologize. I told you I had a past I wasn’t proud of, but I should have told you more; you shouldn’t have found out that way. But I didn’t think because that stupid game had nothing to do with you. Since I met you, I wanted you, but not just to prove I could. I wanted you because you saw something different in me than everyone else. I want to be that person, not the jerk I was. Don’t give up yet.”
“I trusted you, but I don’t think I can again. It’s more than just Liam’s party. When I said my mother was moving, you told me to go. You gave up first.”
He flinched and his jaw worked under his skin. “I didn’t give up; I wanted you to stay. I wanted you to choose me too, but you couldn’t decide. I was going to support whatever decision you wanted, even if it wasn’t me because I want you to be happy. That’s all I want.” His eyes met mine, breaking my heart with the hurt in them. “I made you happy; I know I did. Give me a chance to do it again. I’ll do anything.”
“Then leave me alone,” I said, attempting my hardest to keep my newly rebuilt walls up, to not act like his words affected me.
He dropped his hands from my shoulders. “I went to a country concert for you. I can’t stand country, but I’ll never listen to anything else if that’s what it takes.” He rubbed his hands through his hair, making the new growth stand up in short spikes. “And I know that’s not enough. I just don’t know what else to do. Tell me what to do. Anything besides leaving you alone.” He paced in a circle, and then his arms were around me and his lips were on mine.
I tried to resist, but the warmth of his kiss melted my resolve and my body softened for his, melting into him. Our lips moved in the familiar dance. His hand slid up my back to my head, positioning me to allow him to deepen the kiss and take all control as he walked me back into a wall.
Guests entered the hall and Ethan pulled back, ending the kiss but keeping his body pressed to mine. With his fingers in my hair, he whispered into my ear, “Please. Give us another chance. Leave with me right now.”
My body responded to his, vibrating with desire. But fear overwhelmed me, and my thoughts blurred. I stepped to the side, needing space to think “I can’t. I have to go.”
It Goes On Page 30