by W.H. Harrod
That wasn’t so bad, thought Terrance as he drove south out of town towards the estate where Jess lived as the caretaker. His boss did scream, and he did threaten to fire him if he ever failed again to produce a story in the allotted time. Terrance, to his amazement, stayed calm all during his boss’s histrionics. At this point, the only thing his boss could do was fire him. Although unemployment would not help matters at the moment, leaving this loser job was a foregone conclusion as soon as he found something better. If he came up with the funds to go to law school next year, fulltime work here would not be possible anyway. He simply could not afford to get caught lying.
Terrance decided to put the matter out of his mind for the evening. Having made the decision, it served no purpose to keep going over it. Monday would be soon enough to meet again with Mrs. Bidwell—the X-factor in the deal. “Now don’t start on that either,” he reminded himself. “Tonight it’s only going to be me and Jess.”
Terrance put the matter to rest for the moment as he caught sight of the driveway leading to the estate. His girlfriend worked for a very nice couple. As wealthy as they are, they could afford to be nice, he reasoned. But regardless, they treated Jess like their own daughter. She lived in the caretaker house, which, in most respects, was a sight better than the houses most people lived in. Since the owners traveled extensively, Jess had the whole place to herself most of the time, that is, except for the horses, dogs, cats, pigeons, geese, and a single billy goat.
Jess loved it out here. The natural setting and the open spaces fit her personality. Terrance suggested she might want to come into town and live with him in his garage apartment, but she refused the offer for a couple of reasons. First, she liked being close to the animals, and secondly, she didn’t like the idea of playing house without any indications of a more permanent commitment from Terrance.
He grimaced at the sudden realization that he held the future of their relationship at length because of his unwillingness to make a commitment. He typically didn’t feel comfortable around people who couldn’t make up their mind. To admit to being one of those persons unsettled him at times. I’ve got to get something going here as soon as possible, he decided. I’m almost twenty-five years old. I need to begin to take some chances if I ever expect to get anything big going.
Arriving at the driveway entrance as he finished the thought, he slowed the Cherokee down to navigate the sharp turn into the drive. He passed over the open livestock barrier and headed up towards the house sitting atop the tree-lined ridge an eighth of a mile away. The scenic setting could easily have been taken from the pages of any travel magazine. Terrance always stared so long he usually missed the turn leading west from the main house to the caretaker home.
This will be good for me, he assured himself as Jess’s house came into view. He really should devote more time to this relationship. Jess embodied everything a guy could want in a woman: head-turning attractive with long black hair, a very well-proportioned, yet athletic body, great disposition, funny, intelligent, rigorously honest about everything, especially, his lack of emotional maturity, and apparently, inordinately fond of him. He reaffirmed his earlier comment regarding the need to pay more attention to this relationship, but just then recalled the unfinished business with his lady attorney friend and possible admirer. He cautioned himself, “Better not jump too fast here. It’s always best to check out all opportunities first.”
That could all be dealt with at another time. Right now, he wanted to see Jess. He saw no one in sight as he brought the Cherokee to a stop in the middle of the large open area between the barn and the house. He exited the car and began to walk towards the back of the house some fifty yards away.
“Where could she be?” he asked, still not seeing anyone. “Hey Jess, where are you?” he yelled as he turned a complete 360 degrees hoping to catch sight of her. He knew not to expect her to be inside if daylight lingered and any animals needed tending. “Well, where—” He stopped dead in his tracks with his words caught in his throat as he heard a sound that sent shivers through him.
Baaaaaaaa-woooooooooo! In a flash it came to him. He knew he’d made a horrible mistake. Baaaaaaaa-woooooooooo! Terrance looked back to the car. He’d parked too far away; he could never make it. He had left himself totally exposed—no need to try to run. “How could I have done such a stupid thing?” He scolded himself as he recalled his earlier conversation with Jess during which she reminded him not to arrive until after 7:30 p.m. He hurriedly looked at his watch. “Fifteen minutes early, damn!”
Baaaaaaaa-wooooooooo! The frightful noise sounded much closer now. Fear clouded Terrance’s thinking. His mind raced attempting to recall some emergency procedure that might afford him a small measure of defense against the onrushing beast. Suddenly, it came to him—stop, drop, and roll. That’s it. That’s what he would do. It made no difference that this particular defensive procedure applied to individuals who found themselves in the inconvenient position of being on fire. It sounded official, and besides, he couldn’t come up with anything else in a pinch. So he did it.
Actually, this move probably prevented some serious injury to his person. Just as he fell to the dirt and rolled onto his stomach while covering his face with both hands, a one hundred seventy-pound-beast leapt over his now prone body. Terrance exhaled a palpable sigh of relief as he realized he’d averted an injury, at least, for the moment. However, in but an instant, his attacker returned—nudging, pawing, pushing, licking, and slobbering him, all in an attempt to get him face up on the ground. Already, layers of slobber matted the back of his neck and head. His new knit polo shirt doomed to be collarless if the beast had his way. Surely Jess or even someone back on the highway, an eighth of a mile away, heard his primal screams by now.
“Harvey, you big dope, get off me. Now quit it. Do you hear me? I said quit it!” Harvey, Jess’s monster St. Bernard, didn’t respond; he loved to play around with Terrance on the ground. He didn’t realize he weighed one hundred forty pounds more than when Terrance first taught him how to play this little game. To make things worse, Harvey, by now, had succeeded in getting his big nose under Terrance’s torso, attempting to turn his favorite playmate over onto his back so he could slobber on the front side of his head. Though the front of his torso was now exposed, Terrance felt that the worst must be over. Harvey would tire in a minute, surely.
Terrance, in all the excitement, forgot about Fifi, Jess’s equally bad mannered French Poodle. She followed Harvey everywhere and got into, at least, a part of every fight once Harvey had gotten the best of whatever was being attacked. She locked her teeth onto to the cuffs of Terrance’s new Chinos. It didn’t help that both dogs were sopping wet from the baths Jess had been giving them when he arrived early.
In Terrance’s mind, at least, this assault went on for a bit longer than necessary, considering that Jess must have become aware of his presence at the same time these ill-mannered creatures did. She didn’t arrive at the scene of the assault running. Quite the contrary, she sauntered up as if out for a Sunday stroll.
“What time is it?” asked Jess casually as she knelt down by Terrance’s side.
“What do you mean what time is it? Get these beasts off of me.”
“Not until you tell me what time it is,” responded Jess defiantly.
“Okay. Okay. I know I’m early. I admit it’s my fault. Now please, get them off me.”
“That’s right. You never listen to me. I told you I’d be bathing them outside and to not come until after I had finished. So just remember, you caused this.” As she said this, she took both dogs by their collars and pulled them away as best she could. Not an easy task when considering she only weighed about one hundred fifteen pounds. Also, the task became even more difficult when she started to laugh. Lightly at first, but as more of Terrance’s disheveled person became exposed she saw how messed up his clothes were, and the laugh turned into a cackle.
His humiliation complete, Terrance sat up revealing a dirt covered face framed withi
n globs of matted blond hair. His new knit shirt’s collar hung dangling from one side with the original cream color but a memory. Dirty beige described the color now. If clothing were mission essential, they wouldn’t venture out this evening, for sure.
Terrance assessed the damage to his person and then turned to face his attackers and their still unsympathetic handler. “Aren’t you even going to offer to help me up?” whined Terrance. “Can’t you see I’m in pain here?”
“I suppose I could,” responded Jess as she restrained her laughter, “but that would mean I’ll have to let go of Harvey. You sure that’s what you want me to do?”
“No. No, don’t do that. I can get up. In fact, you just stand there and hold him until I get to the porch, okay? Now don’t you let him go, you promise?”
He pushed himself off the ground while never once taking his eyes off the grip Jess had on Harvey’s collar. He could see how much fun this little incident provided her and did not put it past her to allow the beast a second shot at him.
“Now don’t you get any cute ideas! I’m watching you.”
Terrance backed away, and not until he got to within ten yards of the porch, did he spin and sprint for safety. Ecstatic at his successful escape, he lapsed into a rendition of an end zone touchdown dance until he recalled forgetting to bring the pizza with him from the Cherokee. No way would he be going back out into the middle of that combat zone. “Hey Jess,” he yelled, blatant sarcasm apparent, “you want to grab the pizza out of the Cherokee on your way in?” A deep sense of foreboding at the prospect of running the same gauntlet appeared on Jess’s face. “I’ll just grab a quick shower while you figure out a way to do that, okay?” His laughter pierced the cool early evening air as he turned for the door.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN