by Jane Aimee
The conclusion of the date was obvious: time would be needed to wean him from his obsession with his ex.
~~~~
While Daphne was out dating and eating, Bethany was on fasting and praying. After work, she went to church and lay on the altar and prayed till when darkness started falling.
When she reached home and entered her bedroom, sadness overwhelmed her. She became mad at God. She threw her bag on the piano and sat on the bed.
"Lord, how long am I going to do this? What is wrong with me?" she asked aloud. But what was really in her mind was different, bitterer than the words she uttered. For crying out loud, you are my Father. You should know I need to be married. I have been serving you with all my heart. Why are you doing this to me? Do I need this much fasting? How much praying and supplication will be enough?
Her thoughts were interrupted by Daphne's coming. Bethany quickly asked for updates on her relationship with Mikael. If she's still uninterested, then I'll have him.
"We are still talking. It may take a while for him to forget about her."
~~~~
Daphne was mistaken. Mikael did not forget his ex; He didn’t get the opportunity to do so. The she came back into his life, right into his waiting arms.
A week after his first date with Daphne, Mikael's ex came visiting and demanding reconciliation. But he was gentlemanly enough to copiously apologize to Daphne, regretting that he had been too quick to approach her.
Surprisingly, Daphne wasn't hurt; she rather felt relieved.
"Why would he not go back to her? You did not give him enough reason to tell her he was with someone else."
"Bethy, we are talking of last week's event! He would still have gone back to her. The truth is he wanted someone to fill the void in his broken heart, and it just happened that I was the most credible and available choice. Had I gone for him, I would have had my own heart broken right now."
"So you are not hurt?"
"I know it's strange to admit, but I believe I would have been hurt if I married him without his heart being truly healed first. You remember those stories of people getting back with an old flame?"
Bethany wore a straight face as Daphne laughed. "I am just joking. I am not saying he would have done that, but it could be a possibility given his obsession with her. They'd been together for four years; a week of dating me was not enough for him to let her go. As an antithesis to your saying about the easiness of getting a man with a broken heart, let me say this: 'a broken heart is the most dangerous heart to fall in love with. It longs for love – its lost love'. Unless it heals, you are treading on shaky ground by falling in love with. If that lost love suddenly returns, you may just find yourself with a broken heart –your own heart."
Bethany, though surprised, admired her friend's calmness and courage. She told herself that had Daphne been a man, she would gladly ask him to marry her. Her ability to be composed in the midst of situations that caused panicky anguish in Bethany, produced admiration for the older in the younger.
They believed their bond was indissoluble.
But that friendship was soon to receive an accusation that was more hurtful than what each or both ladies had ever experienced.
The source of the rumor was unknown but it finally entered the ear of Pastor Felicity. She had been losing ground and excuses to give to some members of the congregation who wanted Bethany back on the stage. She thus bought the rumor with all her heart and immediately summoned Bethany, who had not even heard of it then.
Jealousy left untethered sooner or later begets malice. Pastor Felicity's words were as malicious as her tone of voice when she spoke with the young woman.
"Two old single ladies, not blood related, but living together for years. Bethany the evidence is clear against you and you know the stance of the Grace Tabernacle on the homosexual issue."
Bethany felt a dagger go through her heart. She could scarcely contain her emotions as she sought to reply the accusation. "It is painful for me to even think that someone cooked this up. Daphne and I are just friends! When (--)"
"Why do you live together when both of you work and can each afford a place of your own? Friends are not obligated to live together, are they?"
"When I came to start work here in town, I didn't know anyone but I met Daphne and she took me in. We became very good friends and didn't see why we should separate until necessity demands."
"You have no way to prove your innocence."
"Neither is there any proof to the accusation leveled against my friend and I."
Pastor Felicity knew there was no proof, but her hostility was not yet satisfied.
"But what are you waiting for anyway? Shouldn't you be a wife and a mother by now?"
Bethany breathed heavily, the tears flowing freely. She remained quiet until Pastor Felicity asked her to leave.
The cleric remained in the office. Her conscience and God's Word told her she was wrong. But she would not stop what she had set in motion. Bethany was directly under her spiritual leadership, as every other female in the church, and it would pain her more to have Pastor Carl get the upper hand in the matter. He had reluctantly consented to the arrangement and she would not lose face by reversing her decision.
~~~~
The church committee set up to examine the malignant rumor sat and did not prove Bethany guilty. But for the sake of people's opinions, she was asked to move out of Daphne's place and look for her own.
It was a traumatic experience for both ladies. Bethany was reluctant to abide by the resolution taken by the church committee. "It's time for me to leave that church. They can't dictate where I live and with who I live. I'll seek membership in your church."
"No, Bethy. That is not right. If we continue staying together and you leave the Tabernacle, it would help strengthen the lie. Besides, churches collaborate; your action would be communicated to my church."
Bethany decided to swallow the bitter pill.
Chapter Seven: Get the Fisherman's attention!
The church auditorium was a beehive of activity at 5 o'clock, Friday evening. The decorators were putting final touches to their work, giving the hall a facelift consistent with a wedding ceremony in accordance with the customs at Grace Tabernacle. The choir was rehearsing at the left of the platform. The bride and groom's friends practiced the escort march along the pews.
The bride and groom emerged from the corridor that led to the pastors' offices. They had been with the senior pastor, receiving the last session of counseling usually reserved for the wedding eve.
The young girl beamed at the groom, who was equally delighted, when she saw the bold inscription worded with cellulose paper and pasted on the wall behind the pulpit: Mabel weds Cornelius.
The two stood for several minutes at the edge of the platform, drinking in the beauty of the décor and receiving early congratulatory messages and hand waves from the workers and their busy friends.
The sound of Bethany's voice caused Mabel to turn towards the direction of the choir. She was grateful to find her there. Few days back she had had a hard time begging Bethany to make her day a success. The singer had initially replied that Pastor Felicity would not permit her to sing, but even when the Pastor had given the green light, she was still hesitant. The rumor of her being a closet lesbian had dampened her spirits and she gladly stayed in the children's church. Weekly church programs were attended out of obligation. George was now a married man. No guy was on her horizon. Things seemed just to be going bad for her. She was resorting to a withdrawn life from church.
Mabel stared at her until their eyes met. The bride expressed her gratitude with a smile and head movement. Bethany nodded in reply, her mouth too busy to smile properly.
The soon-to-be husband and wife then joined their friends in the bridal march rehearsals.
Pastor Felicity came into the auditorium a few minutes to six thirty. The workers and everyone else had completed their preparations, and only the singles were left.
; It was customary at each wedding eve to have a talk with the soon-to-be marrieds and the rest of the singles. Among them were those secretly next in line or those still in the wait for Mr. or Miss Right.
Bethany became uncomfortable when she realized that the speaker for the night was Pastor Felicity. She was certain the cleric would not miss an opportunity to throw an offense at her. Pastor Felicity didn't do that –at least not until the end of her talk. She spoke so well, with lots of inspired words.
Bethany breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her close the bible, which meant the talk, was over. But then the spiritual leader had one last reminder to all who had a part in the program the following morning. "Look your best," she said. "I am talking to the females. Singing in the choir is not enough. Get attention other ways too. Let the hairdo, the makeup and everything – you girls understand, right? – look great. Really great."
The females shouted in excitement, except Bethany and Nancy, another choir member, who was seated beside her. These were the only two among the ladies gathered there that understood the deeper meaning of the Pastor's words.
"Single guys attend weddings with fishermen eyes," Pastor Felicity continued. "So my dear girls, make use of opportunities like this, is that right? Look your best and get all the attention you can get. That is not out of line with being spiritual at all. Am I right?"
Thunderous applause.
"I wish all of you the best. Good night."
The audience clapped hard as the emcee took over from the Pastor.
~~~~
Bethany met Nancy who was waiting for her at the door. The two walked out of the church property together, in silence. They were not friends, but Nancy, a nurse at the St. Lawrence and Serita Hospital, had noticed the unfair treatment meted out to the other lady by Pastor Felicity. She had been longing to talk with Bethany.
Since they had no close relationship, it was uncomfortable bringing up such sensitive issues. Nancy judged she needed to be tactful. "I just hate this thought of looking great to catch attention. Can't one just simply look great?"
Bethany replied that she too didn't buy the idea, though she only said so because the contrary could not be uttered. She was confused about the accuracy of her thoughts on the issue. But her reply emboldened Nancy, who spoke her next statements with lots of feeling.
"God willing, I will be getting married in three months' time, and (--)"
"Wow, congratulations."
"Thank you Bethy."
Almost half a minute passed with none of the ladies saying a word. Bethany's interjection with a congratulations caused Nancy to pause. She had to muster up courage again to say what she had intended to say.
"One of the reasons why I am happy about getting married is because I will be able to demonstrate my zeal for God without my motives being judged. The belief is growing and it is gaining momentum: every serious single sister in the church is serious just so as to get the attention of the single guys. I believe there's some truth there, yet if care is not taken, the generalization can become discouraging to those who sincerely want to put their energies into serving God, for nothing else but simply out of love for Him."
Bethany remained quiet. She silently concurred to some extent with what her companion said, but found it hard to verbalize it. Besides, she was hurting, and at the same time, if she could be certain of a successful outcome the following day, she would do exactly what Pastor Felicity advised. She knew about the pressure that went along with that kind of attempt to get attention, but she would be willing to endure it, if it guaranteed her the expected outcome.
"To think that all of one's efforts in serving God boil down to a mere request for a husband?" Nancy wondered. "Lord knows that thinking pains me."
Bethany felt she should say something, though she didn't want to. All she wanted to do was to go home and either talk with Daphne or go to bed, and ponder on her unbearable situation.
"You are right," she said. "People will always judge and say things they do not understand. We just have to forget about them and live our lives."
The Condemner mocked, you are a liar. You don't believe in what you just said. Just forget about them and live our lives?
Bethany threw a glance at her companion, in the street light, in order to estimate her age.
You can talk of zeal now and not attention-seeking because you are maybe twenty three, twenty four or twenty five at most, and engaged to be married in three months, but if you were to reach my age still single, I bet you wouldn't talk same; at least not with that same fervor. Who cares what people say about attention-seeking? People only say what they see happening. So what's the big deal? I would do anything possible, as long as it is not inherently sinful, to get married.
"Your place is in the choir, and I pray they should allow you be where you ought to be." Nancy spoke softly, but the angry undertone could not be missed.
Bethany realized that Nancy knew about Pastor Felicity's actions against her, but she decided not to agree with the nurse's statements. It hurt to think of what she was being subjected to, and though discussing it would make her feel relieved, she chose to stifle the desire to get Nancy's sympathy. She justified to herself that she didn't know much of her companion to open up more to her.
"I'm busy with the children," she replied. "And I'm loving it too."
Nancy became quite uncomfortable. Her words seemed not to have comforted Bethany as much as she had anticipated. Maybe she shouldn't have spoken with her at all. She believed it was not a nosy attitude that had motivated her to talk with Bethany that evening, but then maybe, just maybe, she didn't know how to be tactful enough about such sensitive issues. Maybe she should have done much better praying for her in the closet than talking.
They walked in silence until the juncture where their ways parted. "I'm praying for you," Nancy said. "Everything's going to be fine."
Bethany was grateful for the concern. She held Nancy's right hand in both hands and said, "Thank you sweetheart. I appreciate it."
A friendship was born that very moment.
Chapter Eight: Barry. F. Bessome
Bethany found Kaleb's silence about his desire for her curiously disturbing. In the coffee room, he continued with his humor but never would mention her in any issue about relationship. He did not come again near her teller booth for discussions unrelated to work.
She knew absolutely well that going by her standards, there was no possibility of any relationship working out between them, unless he changed. The temptation of the long-tried method to get the guy to church came knocking on her heart. She resisted it on grounds that it was selfish trying to get him saved just so she could marry him. And the method was not going to work on Kaleb, even if she tried it. Before his declaration of interest in her, she had talked to him a few times about Jesus and Kaleb was the most uninterested person she could think of. He was public about his being agnostic and borderline atheist.
But she missed his admiration. It feels so good to have someone interested in you, even if they are not the right one. Those flirtatious looks surely make one feel important. Those passion-filled words are so exciting to hear. I know I'm wrong but I'm so starved of romance that…Lord Jesus, please I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
She would soon forget about Kaleb's lack of interest when romance came knocking on her door in the person of a certain Barry F. Bessome. He came for the services of the City Investment Trust where he met Bethany. Barry's card revealed he was a lawyer in one of the chambers in town. On the second visit a week later, he asked her out.
He was sincere, serious and had the kind of imposing male presence that Bethany always longed for. He came close to proposing on that first date. Or maybe Bethany was just too desirous of getting his love that she thought he almost proposed. The truth is, he didn't exactly almost-propose but there was every indication that he wanted the relationship to work. Proposal, is it not always done as formality? All along the relationship, the two individuals know they are headed for m
arriage; that the time will come when the man would bring out that beautiful piece of golden ring, or silver for those who prefer that metal, and ask the woman the big question.
Bethany was excited. She shared the news with Daphne, with whom she had basically moved back in.
"We spoke much on very important topics – you know I don't want to waste my time with the wrong guy. I don't want a prolonged dating period that won't take me to the expected end. So, I had to make sure from the beginning that he is the one I would want to go with. "There is a lot of common ground between us. He almost proposed!"
"Where does he fellowship?"
"At the House of Glory Church…and…from his talk, I can sense he loves God very much."
Bethany's face began to fall for fear that Daphne might have objections to the relationship. She looked straight at Daphne's eyes to get the reaction. Big sis replied: "I have no objections. If he's Mr. Right, we rejoice together."
"Physically, he's very passable."
Laughter prevented her from continuing, for almost a minute. "And spiritually, he's ok too. Just a little bit of concern though."
Bethany didn't want to give Daphne the impression that she was putting this new guy on a pedestal. But she failed; she ended up praising him more. "He talks of traveling out of the country and doing some other stuff. He even says I could go back to school and pursue a Master's degree and things like that. I'm just thinking of what to do with the music ministry vision.
There was a silence. Bethany silently begged for Daphne to say something. When nothing came from the other mouth, she continued "maybe, after all God doesn't want me in that direction, with my reassignment in church and then Barry talking of other things. May the direction of events not be saying that God wants me in a different path?"
"You have to pray about it. You don't have to discard the vision. Traveling abroad doesn't change anything about your vision. But, yes, sometimes we may have desires and dreams and God will change them. Man proposes, (--)"