She couldn’t tell him how she felt now. How would that sound? Mike, I know my life is a shitshow, but I love you. I’m so in love with you I can’t see straight, well I can’t see at all really, but you get the picture. And I know I’m damaged, and homeless, and my business is flailing, but I’m head over heels for you. Interested in that? The truth of it pushed out more sobs. She’d come back from the business set-back, she knew she would, even if on a smaller scale, but it would take time. As a couple though, time was something they were out of.
‘I can replace the kit,’ Mike consoled her, speaking into her hair. ‘Call it a loan, or repay me in kind, I’m easy either way, but use it to show the haters and the nay-sayers what you can do.’
Just when she thought he couldn’t be more amazing, he offered her this. It sliced away a layer of her resolve. She pulled away and looked him straight in his gorgeous face.
‘Mikey, you don’t need to lend me the money, but I’ll hang onto the ring if I can. Thank you. I’ll make it work with what there is; I’ll hope the classes take off, and build from there, and add new kit as I can afford it. But there’s something I need to say and that’s that I’d be very happy to repay your generosity in kind, anytime you’re back. Consider yourself on a promise.’ His eyes widened and his mouth opened to speak, but she placed a hand over it. ‘I know you’re going, and rightly so because you will kill it on the telly and you deserve great things, but you need to know that letting you go is so hard. So so hard. Because somewhere after bitching at you in the pub and shouting at you in the stairwell, I’ve managed to fall in love with you. Again. And,’ Tiff felt a new tear trickle down her cheek, ‘in spite of you leaving soon, I wanted you to know that, because when you left the other night, I thought you might hate me, and that was the very worst bad thing.’
Mike’s fingertip followed the tear’s trail down her mottled skin, but his face remained illegible to her. He didn’t appear able to look her in the eye, which to be fair was still gruesome.
‘Do you know why I walked out?’
‘I wouldn’t ask you to stay, Gavin arriving, me getting shouty, the hating me thing? Any of those would be fair.’
‘I was jealous,’ he said and swallowed as he properly considered his answer, ‘And scared. I suddenly couldn’t see how I’d stand a chance with you, when you and he had ten years of history. That’s a lot to contend with and I didn’t fancy my odds, so I ran. I’m not proud of it; it’s not usually my style. Only, it seemed to me you deserve someone who has a fix on what they’re doing, what they’re offering and that isn’t me, Tiff. Not right now. I might be shit at the TV work, and I’ll be sacked and back to square one, probably several steps back in fact and having to go on I’m A Celebrity.’
‘I’ll shoot you first,’ she snuffled.
‘Deal. I don’t fancy scoffing kangaroo bollocks,’ he said, kissing her on the head. ‘But my point is, I have the fame, the house, the cash, but I don’t have firm plans and you deserve security. I figure the man who loves you should offer you something reliable, Tiff.’
Tiff looked up abruptly. What had he said? Rewind, REWIND!
‘You love me?’
‘God, woman, yes. So much it hurts. That’s why I came back Friday night. I wanted to put my hat in the ring, tell you I’m up for the fight.’
‘There is no fight, Mike.’
‘Oh,’ Mike’s face fell with disappointment, and then creased with crossness. ‘Where is he then? What kind of a bloke doesn’t show up at the hospital?’
‘Mike, didn’t I just blab I’m in love with you? Gavin isn’t of interest to me. I believe I said that on Friday,’ she added tersely, ‘He knows we’re done.’
‘Oh. Oh!’ This time his face glowed.
‘But Mike there’s something you need to know about us. This,’ she waggled a finger between them, ‘isn’t a nostalgia-fest for me. I’m not in love with the teen Mikey. And you aren’t competing with ten years of someone else. This is new to me. I’m in love with the you who came back; older, smarter, wiser, differently handsome you.’ His wonky nose twitched. ‘The Mike who gives me straight advice, who brings me my phone in the middle of the night, who sits by my hospital bedside. That Mike.
‘That’s the same Mike who doesn’t know what he wants to do with his retirement,’ Tiff continued and his brow creased. ‘No, don’t look embarrassed Mike, it’s okay not to be sure, to try and also to fail, but I want to be there with that Mike. I want to support you and be your cheerleader. And if you’re across the ocean doing it, we’ll work something out; there’s flights, there’s skype. Your future might not be reliable, but you are.’
His eyes were glistening. ‘Why d’you tell me to go?’
‘Because I want you to have the best in life, Mike. The opportunity is too good to pass up and when you asked my advice I almost bit your hand off to stay, but it felt selfish. I asked myself what Nanna and Blackie would have done. And they’d already done it. They showed me the way.’
‘You were being selfless?’ He looked sort of appalled.
‘Well…yes. It felt like the right thing to do; helping you reach your potential, and while it broke my heart, it filled it with the most bittersweet, rewarding pleasure too, knowing I could help make it happen. Isn’t that what Blackie said in his will? Saying things you regret in the pursuit of a goal you don’t?’ She gazed at him doe-eyed, sending him all her love.
‘You’re an idiot,’ he said plainly.
‘What?’
‘Tiff, I’m twenty-seven, not seventeen,’ he said with a smile, ‘Nanna stopped making decisions for me soon after I left, and provided I have all the information in front of me, I’ve been able to make fairly decent choices for myself. All in all, I think I’ve done alright.’
‘You have,’ she agreed.
‘So had you shown me your hand, not got all noble on me, I would’ve had all my choices to consider.’
He was right, completely on the money; she’d narrowed his choices. She administered a mental face-palm. What did it matter, though? His flight still left in a few hours.
‘Can you commute?’ she asked, looking for solutions. ‘Is that possible?’ Heat magazine showed celebs jet-setting all over.
‘Nah, commuting’s not really an option.’
‘No, I guess not,’ she agreed, forlorn. ‘When you come back to visit, if you do, will you come and see me? Please?’ For all the second chances which did work out, being a numbers girl, Tiff knew statistically there had to be those that didn’t. Theirs was just one of the impossible ones.
He tipped her chin up to look her right in the eyes. Her eyes were definitely improving, there was no mistaking his intensity. ‘Tiff, I turned the job down Saturday morning. Seeing you on the floor in the club, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.’
‘But you’re flying tonight,’ she said.
‘Tiff, I’m not flying anywhere tonight. I’ve agreed to commentate at fights for them, but that’s all. I’m not leaving.’
‘You’re not?’
‘Well, not unless you’re with me. If you want to ditch all of this, escape Kingsley, then I’m with you. We can go to LA, or we can try somewhere else. Didn’t we have a list once?’ She was prepared to bet he’d already been to or done most of it. ‘And if you want to stay here and take on the haters, I’m going to be right here with you too. If you’ll have me.’
She tried to fling her arms up around his neck, but nearly fainted with her ribs’ response, and after the howl managed a ‘Yes, yes of course, I’ll have you.’
Regardless of scampi fries breath, there was kissing. Copious kissing. A couple of pursed-lipped patients drew their curtains to safeguard themselves from the snogging. Finally Tiff pulled away, partly for air, but also for something else.
‘Um, reality check; you did just pass up a sun-drenched life in Los Angeles, to be here with me? That actually happened, right?’ She didn’t quite believe this wasn’t a drug-induced dream.
‘That actually ha
ppened,’ he confirmed, with both a nod and a smile so it had to be true. ‘Why would I need a City of Angels, when I’ve got mine right here?’
Her face was filled with ‘Awwww’, then she snorted a laugh. ‘That was so cheesy.’
‘I thought it was cute. Clearly, I’ll have to work on my lines. But I have a spot of unemployment on my horizon, so I’ll have time enough to practice on you.’ He gave her another kiss and she knew she was already looking forward to hearing them. Only…
‘Mike, can I ask you something else. Something serious?’
‘Anything, Angel.’
‘Mikey.’ She took his hands in hers and cleared her throat, because it had gone claggy with all the emosh. ‘Michael, Mike “The Assassin” Fellner, sniper to my heart, slayer of my fears, would you do me the stupendous honour of being my coach?’
Chapter 34
‘Seriously?’ Tiff couldn’t help rolling her eyes as Mike pressed his key-fob and the lights flashed on a black Range Rover. He couldn’t see them roll – she was wearing sunglasses. She said it was due to the gloriously sunny day, they both knew it was to hide her black eyes. The whites of them were now pink, but her vision had almost fully returned, for which she gave eternal thanks every morning.
‘What?’
‘Blacked-out windows? What are you, a pimp?’
‘Verity kept getting cleavage-shot by the paps. This was a necessity.’
‘Of course. There’s nothing more discreet to pass the paps in, than a blacked-out black Range Rover. Nothing about this car says “Chase me, I’m someone worth hedging a snap on”.’
‘Look, Miss Picky,’ he said, calmly depositing her bag in the rear seat, ‘Getting you down into the seat of the Aston seemed cruel. But next time you land in here, I’ll bring that. Then the paps can snap you scowling.’ He opened the passenger door with a gracious smile and helped her and her aching ribs slide in. Hopping into his own side Mike added, ‘Or I’ll stick you on the back of the Harley. The helmets will keep things incognito and muffle your complaints.’
Tiff didn’t say anything as she was swept away in the thought of sitting behind him on the bike, arms around his waist. Mike wore a rather wistful look on his face too.
After six days in the hospital Tiff had finally convinced them to let her out.
‘Where first? Hotel or the gym?’ he asked, pulling out of the hospital car park. Mike had gone ahead and booked her into the posh country pile on the greener outskirts of town where he’d been staying, having quickly ditched the hour’s commute to her hospital bed. That was a decision she didn’t mind someone else making for her – she couldn’t face sleeping in the gym again. Her body was already feeling lured by the thought of some nights in a plush hotel room with a spa bath, but her head won out.
‘Gym please. I need to see it.’
He looked at her sideways, but didn’t ask. She didn’t know whether she needed to see the damage for herself, or whether she was going to face the demons of the attack. His warm hand on hers told her she could handle both.
‘The offer still stands, Tiff,’ he said.
‘Which one?’ She lifted her sunglasses and gave him a wink, which didn’t quite come off due to the remaining swelling.
‘Smut,’ he said with a prudey look, but his eyes lit up a notch. ‘Leaving Kingsley. If you want. A fresh start, away from any bad feeling and memories.’
Tiff watched the streets of her home town pass by, as she formulated her answer.
‘There’ve been times when that would have been music to my ears Mikey, but now…? I have a club – with staff – one I’ve worked hard for, and while I haven’t seen the state it’s in, and even though it isn’t open yet, I have hopes for it. I’ve made big changes and want to see them through. So let people point, and let them laugh or sneer. I can’t change them, but I won’t let them run me off my own property.’ Oh god, she was turning into her mother.
‘I get that, Angel. Succeeding will be the best “screw you” to the haters. Only, I seem to remember you once shouting at my smug battered mug in a stairwell about my having been fortunate enough to escape some shithole. I want you to have the same opportunity. You can lease the club, we can go wherever we like. We can stay in bed for a few years, make up for lost time.’
Talk about an offer.
‘Are you welching out of being my coach?’ she asked, trying to arch an eyebrow, but failing because of the swelling thing again and because she wasn’t Mike. ‘You accepted. I double-checked. I’m pretty sure your word is your bond.’
‘No, I’m not backing out, Tiff,’ he huffed. ‘I want to be your coach. I want to put something back into the sport and further Blackie’s legacy. It’s ideal. But I got my chance at my dream. I want you to have yours.’
Tiff caressed his cheek. She loved his battered mug. ‘You’re here Mike, so I’d say, I’m good.’ He took her hand and kissed her palm. ‘Thank you, but I’m not running. I want to build the club and then we’ll see what happens. We’ll make it up as we go along.’
‘Roll with the punches?’
‘I’m off punches at this week,’ she said, squirming slightly in her seat, ‘I’m going with “playing it by ear”, revising and adjusting and if, or when, we’ve had enough, we can go, no running required.’
Having lived in the gym for six weeks, it was strange to have been away for six days. Tiff felt she’d been away from her child. Rounding the final corner before the building appeared, she braced herself for the worst.
But it didn’t come. There were no boarded-up windows, no police tape. The Tiffanie’s sign was missing, but that was all the change she could see.
‘Sign’s coming back tomorrow,’ Mike said, getting out to open her door.
Walking towards the reception she couldn’t see the sprawl of graffiti. If she hadn’t been there that night, if she hadn’t seen it in the papers, she would now have thought she’d imagined it.
‘Where’s it all gone, Mikey?’ she asked, pushing her sunglasses up on her head and looking around the room. Save for the sodding sofa missing its cushions, there was no sign there’d been anything amiss. The panic that she might have imagined it, or her eyes couldn’t see properly after all, gave her a lump in her throat.
‘A lot of hard graft by your friends, Tiff,’ Mike answered from where he stood, leaning against the wall, hands in pockets. He was giving her space, but watching her intently. ‘You okay? Being here, I mean.’
Tiff nodded slowly. ‘I remember all of it, but walking in here and not seeing the damage – that’s disconcerting. Makes me think it didn’t happen. That I’ve gone a bit doolally.’
Mike moved to wrap his arms around her waist from behind her and rest his chin on her shoulder. He slid one hand carefully up to rest on her ribs.
‘This tells you it happened, Tiff. There wasn’t any point leaving it. Nobody wanted to upset you. The papers got the pictures. The police have no doubt got a stack. You’ll see it all in court.’ That made her shudder. There was all of that to go through yet. Incredibly, Aaron was professing his innocence, insisting she attacked him and faked the vandalism. The spray paint on his fingers, a second can in his pocket and B&Q CCTV footage said otherwise. ‘The plan was to get things fixed. They knew what you wanted it to look like.’
‘No, you’re right,’ Tiff agreed, with a nod, ‘Who’s “they”?’
There was a tramping sound on the stairs followed by voices Tiff knew well.
‘Is that you Mike, with that lazy mare who left us with all the donkey-work while she lounged in bed?’ Shelby and Natalie. Tiff was landed with a huge double hug, until she couldn’t stifle her groan and they backed off with apologies.
‘You two did all of this?’ Tiff asked.
‘Well, there was Jess and Amina too, and we did a lot of press-ganging and delegating,’ Natalie admitted, without an ounce of shame. ‘And I guess we were seen with rollers and paint too. That spray stuff takes loads of coats to cover. The sofa cushions should be back Friday
; thankfully they were black already, so it shouldn’t show, once the paint residue has been removed.’ Natalie always liked a clear summary. She was definitely an organised woman when given a chance. Iceland should have spotted her as management material, but hey, their loss…
‘I was in charge of the tea supply, keeping Jess’s men satisfied,’ said Shelby proudly. Tiff dreaded to think what that entailed.
‘I love you guys,’ Tiff sniffed. It was overwhelming; being back, seeing everything they’d done, and them being here.
‘Right,’ said Natalie, seeing Tiff’s wobble, ‘Who’s for a cup of tea?’
Mike looked at Tiff for direction.
‘Actually, Nat,’ Tiff said, getting a grip, ‘I only want a quick look around, to get the lay of the land. Then I need to lie down for a bit. I’m staying at Crabthorne Hall.’
‘So we’ve heard,’ Shelby said, salaciously. Tiff chose to ignore it. The hotel was local, and she wanted to stay close.
‘I’ll be in tomorrow though to…well, I was going to say get things moving, but honestly you’ve got us miles ahead of where I thought we’d be.’
‘There’s lots of membership interest, Tiff. That thing about there being no bad publicity might just be true.’ Tiff’s pleasure was quickly curtailed as Natalie’s smile turned to concern. ‘The equipment still hasn’t shown up though,’ she said. ‘I keep waiting in for the delivery.’
‘It isn’t coming. The supplier’s gone bust,’ Tiff told them as succinctly as possible. Thinking about it made her want to cry. So denial and minimal thought was the strategy she’d picked.
Nat’s eyes grew the size of saucers.
‘It’s okay, Nat. It’s all under control,’ Tiff tried to smooth it over. ‘The gym will open with what we have, I’ll order new kit. I’ll sort it.’ She concentrated on her voice as she said it, trying hard to sound more confident than she felt. Mike gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. ‘We have a ring, we have a coach,’ she looked up at him with adoration and a heap of gratitude, ‘we have a multigym, studios with kit and staffed classes. People can come and we’ll build as we go.’
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