by Jenna Gunn
Mia’s eyes grow wide, “Oh no, talk about bad timing…” She mutters.
Cassidy pops out. “Bishop, gosh, I haven’t seen you in ages.” She looks kind of nervous. Her eyes cut from Mia to me.
Cassidy and Nick Wilson sided with Mia when we divorced, I guess. They faded out of my life like a balloon that’s been let loose in the wind.
Is that why she’s panicking? Maybe she’s worried about what I’m going to say to her about their desertion.
I can’t stop my scowl. “It has been a long time.”
Mia and I used to do couple’s things with Cass and Nick when Mia was in town on breaks between work travel. We shared a lot of laughs. Then they evaporated away when everything got ugly.
Cassidy says, “Mia, I got a call from work. I have to go in for a couple of hours. I was hoping I could pass Bruno off for a bit, then I can get him back in a couple hours if that helps.”
Mia’s nodding. “Of course. Let me just grab his car seat too.”
Cassidy pulls a brown-haired little boy from the back seat and wraps him around her hip. He clings to her, hiding his face against her.
I had no clue Cassidy and Nick had a kid. Maybe that’s what happened. They got busy starting a family.
Mia quickly unfastens the car seat and moves it to the Civic. She avoids my eyes the whole time. Weird.
When she’s done, she reaches for the little boy. “Come here, kiddo.” Mia kisses his temple. The boy quickly goes into her arms. He giggles quietly. Wraps his arm around her neck. I’ve never really seen Mia with kids. We didn’t do kid things. We were wild and young and living like two college kids when we were married.
Cassidy passes a big tote bag of some kind to Mia. “Okay, I gotta run.” Then she hops in her car and takes off without ever looking me in the face again.
Mia’s watching the boy as he busies himself with her necklace. She twists from side to side, rocking him. “Can you say hello?”
The little boy mumbles something and grins.
“He’s a little shy at first.”
Mia’s a natural with him. “He seems to like you.”
She smiles tenderly as the little boy pats his hands on her face. “He’s a good boy.”
She takes a big breath. She turns the little boy toward me, “Bruno, say hi to Bishop, please.”
“I didn’t realize Cassidy and Nick—”
Suddenly my words fail, an incoherent mumble comes out of my mouth. The kid’s eyes—
He could be the child of any one of us Archer men.
A choked sound comes out of my mouth. “He’s got…”
“Archer eyes.” She says as her own big gray eyes meet mine.
Suddenly I feel dizzy, and a lot breathless… “Is he?”
As if my universe is teetering on a single tiny point, I hold my breath and search her face.
“He’s yours.” Mia says softly.
That teetering universe—it spins wildly out from under me.
My throat squeezes as I try to force out a single syllable word, “How?”
“Bishop, I have a thousand things to say, and I didn’t mean for this to happen this way on so many levels. But here we are and this is Bruno, our son.”
My knees feel like rubber bands and I find myself leaning against her car roof.
Bruno shyly eyes me. His bright clear blue eyes flashing behind his long dark lashes.
Tears burn my throat raw because I don’t let them near my eyes. “Damn it, Mia.” I whisper.
Her eyes are full of tears too, her lashes coated with glistening drops as she says, “I know. I’m sorry. There’s so much I have to tell you.”
My hands flex at my sides. The insane urge to pull the two of them into my arms is so strong it almost wins.
But I don’t.
I should be mad. I should be raging.
But right now, I’m just in disbelief.
I swallow and my heart slams around inside my chest like it’s bucking bull.
My brain is so sideways I don’t even know how to act or what to say.
When I speak again, my voice is torn to shreds. “He’s beautiful.”
Mia nuzzles her nose against his cheek. “He is. He looks like you.”
I’m frozen there for a thousand raging heartbeats, watching my Ex nuzzle with the child she and I created. The child she didn’t tell me about.
Chapter Four
My insides almost shake apart. Holding Bruno is the only thing grounding me, keeping me from flying into a million bits.
I’ve never felt so afraid in my life.
Everything for the three of us hangs in the balance of the next few minutes.
There are no tidy words to wrap up everything that needs to be said between us. Lies. Cheating. Abandonment. Our problems run so deep. It’s like a crevasse between us in the ice with no end.
But Bruno, he’s the beautiful, sweet gift from all the darkness and pain. No matter what, he’ll always be my sunshine. I hope he will be the same for Bishop.
It wasn’t the time for me to be a mom, but I wouldn’t change a thing in the world. I actually wasn’t sure when or if there would be the right time for me to be a mother. I knew Bishop always wanted a big family, but working as a traveling acrobat doesn’t exactly lend itself well to big families, or families at all. He’d tease me about having six kids, one more than his mom and dad did. The idea terrified me and thrilled me in equal parts.
But my life was not like that of our friends, tidy and neat and made for making a family. My life was travel and training and being focused on one thing- being a great acrobat.
Couples rarely survive that. Unless you are both in the business and travel together.
But Bishop’s life was always here, working Ocean Rescue, where he’s happiest. Surrounded by his big family. I knew he’d never leave his father and four brothers behind to chase me around the globe.
It was so incredibly hard on us. Bishop wanted me home. He was supportive, but every time I left it cut me like a razor.
That life is done for me though—the show is done. And my priorities are focused on Bruno’s happiness.
I rub my hand down my baby’s soft brown curls. He chortles and fidgets in my arms. “Bruno, say hello, please.”
I point to Bishop. “See him, that’s Bishop.”
Maybe one day he’ll call Bishop Daddy, but for now it’s Bishop.
Bruno finally looks up at Bishop again, his little mouth turns up into a shy grin. Relief floods my body with warm light.
“Let’s set you down.” I shift Bruno until he’s sliding down my hip. His tiny little running shoes touch the pavement as he clings to my hand with both of his. “Come on.” I point him to the grassy spot on the lawn behind the car. “Let’s go over there.”
He toddles along beside me. His little legs getting the hang of walking with coordination. “Here, let’s play.” I fish out a plush toy giraffe from the baby bag. “Look, it’s Raffe.” He giggles wildly and grabs for the toy.
“It’s his favorite right now,” I tell Bishop, who’s standing in stunned silence, one hand braced against the car.
I motion for Bishop to come over. “He’ll sit and play for a few moments. He might even play with you.”
Bruno takes the giraffe and starts pushing him around in the grass.
Seeing Bishop today makes me realize how much Bruno really does look like him.
I kneel on the grass. Bishop moves to sit next to me crossed legged. I’ve never seen his eyes so full of emotion. “Hey, Bruno.” He says hoarsely.
Bruno dips his eyes and focuses on the toy for a few seconds. “Grrrr…” His little hands bounce the toy up and down like it’s running, then he says, “Raffe.”
He grins a wide happy baby smile and holds the stuffed animal up toward Bishop and wiggles it back and forth, “Raffe.”
“His name is Raffe?”
Bruno nods.
“Raffe is very cute.” Bishop says.
“Cute.” Bruno m
imics. Bishop smiles softly, extends his hand for the toy. My breath suddenly hitches when Bruno lays his favorite toy in Bishop’s big hand.
A choked sound comes from Bishop. Then he murmurs, “Thank you for sharing Raffe.”
I turn my face away for a few seconds, the bitter sweet threatening to overtake me.
Tears drop from my eyes and cut hot paths down my cheeks.
God. If only it could be this simple. But I know it’s not. There’s so much bad blood between us, we might not ever find a peaceable way forward.
“Does Raffe eat grass?”
“Raffe…cackee.” Bruno points at the baby bag.
“Oh, Raffe likes to eat crackers?” Bishop guesses.
“Yeff.” Bruno answers.
“I like to eat crackers too.”
I dig out a container of animal crackers. “These are his favorite snack at the moment,” I say, and offer the little metal container to Bishop.
He accepts it from me, his eyes meeting mine for a second. Then he opens the lid and picks a tiny cracker. “Bruno, do you want a cracker too?”
Bruno nods and climbs to his feet. He toddles over to Bishop and accepts the animal cracker. “Raffe.” He says.
“Okay, we’ll give Raffe one too.” Bishop holds a little lion shaped cracker up to Raffe’s nose. “Mmm…”
My heart melts right out of my chest. “You’re good at that.”
“Mommy, cackee.” Bruno reaches for the container. “Mommy.” He chirps.
“Okay, big guy. I’ll give Mommy one too.” Bishop pulls out a tiny cracker with his thick fingers and offers it to me.
Bruno squeals. “Mouf!”
Bishop glances at me, raises a brow, and shrugs.
“He wants you to feed me.”
“—Ah. I see.”
Bishop’s Adam’s apple bobs for a second, then he swallows roughly, slowly leaning toward me. He gently places the cracker in my mouth, his eyes fixated on my lips. A flash of heat pools in my womb and sets fire to my cheeks.
I’d pay a hundred thousand dollars to know what he’s thinking right now. Heck, I’d pay a lot more than that to know where I stand with Bishop.
I chew the cracker slowly and try like crazy to pretend that my body didn’t react that way.
But I’d be flat out lying to myself. It started in the elevator when his arms wrapped around me. All those forgotten memories came back in a rush of pure lust tangled up in heart strings.
He always drove me crazy, good crazy and bad crazy. His incredible lifeguard’s body was my undoing. His alpha bossiness was just part of the lure…and the frustration.
He’s strong willed as an ox. Hard-headed as a ram. Protective as a wolf. All with a smoldering intensity that begs respect and order.
Bishop owned my heart. Until he tore it clean out of my chest. But somehow he still owns a piece of my soul.
I know that what we are about to come to terms with is going to be a rough ride.
Bishop watches me, his blue eyes dark and mysterious, until Bruno gets in his line of sight. “Cackee!” He squeals.
The tension between us breaks. If only for a moment. “Okay big guy, here you go.” He gives out another cracker.
This goes on for a couple of minutes. Bruno. Raffe. Mommy. Everyone gets more crackers.
“Where are you staying?” Bishop asks finally.
“Cassidy & Nick’s. They were nice enough to let me use their couch while I look for a place.”
Bishop’s face goes hard. “You’re what? That’s ridiculous. You and Bruno should not be sleeping on the couch anywhere.”
“I didn’t have a choice. We just got back yesterday. I’m looking for something I can afford.”
“You should have called me.”
I sigh. “Bishop. I…” I force the words out using all the might in my body. “I knew you didn’t want to see me. It’s not like I could just call you up and expect you to pick up where we left off.”
He grunts. “You’re right about that. But Jesus, did you think I’d just leave you and our child high and dry, without anywhere to go? I’m not a monster.”
“I’m not sure what I thought.”
The muscles tick in his jaw and I see the little flutter of pulse he gets in his temple when he’s mad. “Mia, you are not staying at their place.”
“You can’t just tell me not to stay there. I don’t have any options right now.”
“You heard me loud and clear.”
“Where are we staying then?”
“At my place.”
I curl my lips in to stop my protest. He watches me intently, as if he’s ready to head off any attempt I might make at defying him.
Staying at his place feels wrong for so many reasons but the first thing that comes out is, “I couldn’t…what will your family think?”
“Stop, this is not open for discussion. You and my son are staying at my house until something acceptable is worked out.” His words are filled with bite.
I press my finger to my lips. Reminding Bishop to lower his tone.
“Bishop. This is so hard. I want to talk to you, alone.” I tilt my head toward Bruno. “He picks up more than you think.”
Pushing up off the grass, Bishop says, “Will Cassidy watch him for a couple of hours this evening? We can get you settled at the house and talk by ourselves.”
“Come here,” I wiggle my fingers for Bruno. He scoots over to me on his knees, pushing Raffe in front of him.
“I think so. She didn’t seem to mind. She likes kids.”
“I’ll be at their house after work to pick you and your belongings up.”
I open my mouth to protest, but see the look on his face. I know that look. Nothing I do could budge him. Moving Bishop is like an ant trying to move a sky scraper.
Bishop leans down and offers his hands to Bruno. “Wanna go for a ride?”
Bruno giggles and squeals, “Riiiide!”
“Come on, let’s get you in the car.” He scoops Bruno up in his muscular arms and grins at our son. “My, you’re a solid little fire-plug.” Bishop looks at me over the top of his head, his blue eyes so much like Bruno’s. They hold a mix of determination and sadness.
I follow them to the car, still in disbelief at the sight of my baby with his father. Bishop is so natural with him. I knew he loved kids, but I didn’t really know this side of him.
Apparently Bishop also knows how to work a child seat, or he figures it out on the fly. I double check the buckles and everything looks right.
I have no idea what to say as Bishop and I stand next to the car. “I guess I’ll see you around five?”
“I will be there by five sharp, unless a rescue holds me up.”
“Of course. I remember…” Being a lifeguard’s wife meant work didn’t always end when expected.
He studies me for a second. “I still have the same number. You’ll call me if you need anything, right?”
I nod.
He takes a step back. Draws a big breath. “I gotta go.”
“Sure. I’ll be at Cass & Nick’s.”
I watch as he retreats across the parking lot toward the boardwalk, his body rigid, his steps determined.
That’s the Bishop I knew and loved—hard, solid, and surprising in every way.
When Cass rushes in the door, she’s all worry and fuss. “Oh god. Did I mess up things for you with Bishop?”
“It’s okay. I was going to tell him soon. It was just a little more off the cuff than I expected.”
She sags into the kitchen chair across from me. “I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t even think about it.”
“Don’t worry over it. It’s done.”
She fidgets with her long, polished fingernails as I motion for Bruno to eat. “What did he say?”
Bruno’s pushing around some food on his plate, more or less just fiddling with his spoon, ignoring our conversation.
“He didn’t really say much. Other than he basically said I have no choice but to stay at
his house until I find a place.”
My phone dings for the tenth time in ten minutes. I glance at the screen. Franco, my coworker, again. I shove it in the baby bag and ignore his text.
She frowns. “Is that okay with you to stay there again? I don’t know how I’d feel about staying with a man that cheated on me while I was on the other side of the world doing my job."
I feel the frown lines forming on my forehead. “I’m not sure how I feel about that either, but I do know that this is the best thing for Bruno. He needs time to get to know his father, and Bishop’s family. And it gives me time to sort out my feelings for Bishop.”
“You have feelings for him still?”
Messy, hard feelings. I sigh. “Of course, I loved him. Things were hard for us. We were so young.” I shake my head. “God, we were just barely twenty and twenty-one when we got married.”
“That is young. I know Nick and I have gone through so many changes and we were in our mid-twenties when we got together.”
My mind drifts off for a second to the times we had back then. So carefree and wild. “I can’t tell you why exactly, but I haven’t gotten over him. It’s like I have this deep knowing that we have unfinished business.”
I find my fingers twisting one of my pink braids around. “I feel a lot of guilt too. I made a huge mistake by not telling him about Bruno sooner and now I need to try to fix that.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell him?”
“I was hurt. And I listened to the people around me. They convinced me that Bishop would get custody because he was stable and had a home. My uncle didn’t want me to stop working for the show, of course. I knew his motivation, but I thought the other people I listened to cared, really cared about what happened to me and Bruno. I was scared and alone in a way. The troupe was my family, and if I left the safety of that community, I would have nothing since I didn’t have Bishop any longer.”
I watch Bruno for a few seconds. “Later I realized it was a horrible decision. Bishop deserves to know Bruno, and Bruno deserves to have his father in his life.”
“Mia, do you have any other family? Parent’s, a brother, anyone?”