by A L Williams
Their hands grabbed my thigh and I sucked in a breath, shuddering at the aggression. I wanted more. “I want you to flog me,” I whispered.
They pulled back with a frown. “I have never—”
I breathed out and smirked. “You’ve never hit anyone?”
“I have, but—”
I covered their mouth with my finger. “I will use safe words. Green, yellow, red. Remember?” This type of thing usually would require training, but I was experienced enough that I knew it would be alright. I had dommed so many times I knew how it worked.
Gabriel nodded. They stepped back and looked down. I eyed the obvious bulge in their slacks and then walked to my room. They followed me, and I closed the door. I walked to my closet, grabbing the flogger and handed it to them. Doing it this way was not protocol and, in most situations, extremely stupid, but none of this was normal and something in me begged for it.
They examined it, waving it around in their hand.
“We swing it, you start off slow, you have to work up to the harder impact. With each swing, you slow and soothe the area. I am not a masochist, so I will need it. You ask me what color every so often, and I will tell you. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
I walked over to the bed, pulling off my dress and stood before them in just my pink lace panties. I hadn’t worn a bra, not wanting the straps to show through. Gabriel’s eyes travelled over my body and I found myself hoping they liked what they saw. Based on their obvious arousal, they did.
I turned and climbed on the bed, laying on my stomach, groaning from the glide of my nipples along the cool comforter.
“Color?” they asked.
“Green.”
A moment later, I felt the cold leather slide along my skin, and I gasped at the tingling sensation it left behind. I hadn’t been flogged in a long time because I didn’t like how vulnerable it left me, but now I craved it.
The leather tails left my flesh and came back seconds later, smacking my skin. I jumped at the sudden impact and then moaned, sinking into the bed. They dragged the tails along my skin once more, soothing the area. They were a quick learner.
Gabriel continued the assault on my back, each hit growing harder. They soothed my skin each time. It stung, but in the most delicious way. This was very different from the first and only time I’d been flogged. I loved it.
A second later the tails were gone, and I felt the bed dip. I looked up, finding Gabriel crawling on top of me and straddling my body. I eyed them with a question.
“I want to touch you. Color?” They waited.
“Green.” I replied.
They reached for me without another word, and the moment their hands touched my back, I gasped. They dragged their hands along my back, kneading the muscles and cherishing each curve. They leaned in, and I felt their lips kiss my shoulder blade. I was overwhelmed already. How could a simple back rub and kiss make me feel like I was falling to pieces?
They continued their exploration sliding down my body. They climbed off me and lay at my side. I turned my head so I could see them, and they gazed back at me. Their eyes bore into me as if they were looking into my soul.
They moved closer and captured my lips with theirs, groaning into my mouth. I mirrored the sound and leaned in. Their hand stopped at the dip in my lower back just above my ass. I pushed my hips into the comforter, realizing how close they were to my ass. Gabriel didn’t move their hand though, instead focusing on devouring my mouth. They kissed me with everything they had, exploring as if they wanted to burn my flavor into their memory. I could feel myself growing wetter by the second. Wanting. Needing.
I would go insane if they didn’t do something. I pulled away. “More,” I said, breathily. They reached down further and smacked my ass, making me jump and then groan, dropping my head down to the comforter. “Slow,” was all they said. I whimpered and relaxed, resigning myself to their slow torture. Although a part of me liked it, they were going to kill me.
They rubbed the spot they hit and then squeezed. I started to tremble, becoming progressively more sensitive. Their hands were everywhere. Touching everything. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I bit my lip, fighting the urge to beg. I knew it would do no good. This was about Gabriel discovering their sexuality. I just wish they would hurry up.
Their hands slid lower, settling between my ass cheeks. They dragged their fingers along the sensitive flesh there, and my breath picked up until they reached my asshole. They pressed circles into it, their wet fingertip slipping in. I bit my lip again, trying to calm the shake of my body. I didn’t have anal sex often, but now was one of those times.
I pushed my ass back onto their finger, and they laughed, pulling their hand away. “We can stop,” they said. I growled, surprised by the sound. Was I that desperate?
My question was answered when I felt them move between my legs. The minute their lips made contact with my hole, I almost screamed. I had never been rimmed before, not really thinking it would do anything for me. That was what my pussy was for. I was also surprised that they knew how to do it.
They lapped at my center, pushing their tongue as far as it could go into my hole. I was grateful I had cleaned that area before the date.
I dropped my head to the bed, pushing my ass back. I needed more. They continued their assault, and I broke moments later. “Please... more…” I begged.
Gabriel stopped for a second and then dove back in licking and teasing my flesh faster. I groaned loudly, hoping Cory didn’t hear me. They gripped my hips and held me in place, taking any control I had away. I shuddered at the thought.
They pushed me higher and higher, and when I thought it couldn’t get any more intense, a single finger slid into my wet depths, twisting and sliding deeper. I shouted from the combination of tongue and finger, shaking so hard I could have vibrated off the bed if it wasn’t for Gabriel holding me. It was like they were an anchor, preventing me from sinking.
I panted and clenched around their finger, my essence dripping onto the bed—lost in pleasure. I stood on the edge about to fall over and just when I began to fall the mouth and finger disappeared. I tensed in shock until my body relaxed and the pressure left, my orgasm fading into the background.
I sobbed, shaking and gripping the comforter. I was drooling by this point, but I didn’t care. I was a ball of need, and I felt like I was falling apart. My head was clouded, and I couldn’t tell left from right.
Was this... was this subspace…?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gabriel
She was beautiful. It was at that moment I understood why Lucifer and Adam could not keep their hands off each other. Watching her writhe in pleasure was addictive.
I fully expected to go back to my room after the date, but I was glad I did not. The moment we connected I knew how I wanted this night to end. I wanted to take her apart, piece by piece, and then put her back together. I wanted her to remember me. Remember my touch. My mouth. All of me. Always.
When she had asked me to flog her, that had been a surprise, I was apprehensive. Once I got into it, I loved it. The flush of her skin after each impact was delicious. Her ass was the most beautiful shade of red which accented the pink of her underwear.
I licked my lips, watching her absentmindedly push her ass in the air, following the leather tails.
Moments later, I was on her exploring every curve of the flesh. Every brush of skin set her on fire, and I never wanted to stop. I was responsible for her pleasure. Me. No one else. At that moment, she was mine.
Mine.
I shuddered at the thought. I had never been consumed by such a need to own, to claim, but I wanted her. I wanted her to need my touch. I watched as her body shook beneath me. I thought back to the times I had seen Lucifer and Adam do this and remembered something they both seemed to enjoy. I wondered if she would and found out quickly that she did. The taste was not unpleasant. The smell of her was intoxicating, but only because it represented her
arousal. Her need for me.
I pushed her to the edge until she was shaking, and then without warning, pulled away. I wanted this to last. I wanted her to know who was in charge of her release. I felt my myself throb against my zipper, but it mattered not. I wanted to own her. I cared very little for my own release. Was this what it was to be dominant?
I sat back on my heels, watching her pant into the comforter. Her body was trembling and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
Beautiful.
I reached out and rolled her over, eyeing the wet spot on her panties. Her eyes were glazed, and she seemed to be far away. I leaned down. “Are you well?” She looked similar to how she had last night. She blinked and met my gaze.
“Yes,” she murmured. I searched her expression. She smiled dreamily. “Please,” she begged, reaching out.
The vulnerability in her eyes warmed me. It was not of fear or pain, but of need. I reached down and pulled her into my arms, sitting back against the headboard and settled her astride my lap. She put her full weight on me, still trembling from the denied release.
I looked at her and she met my gaze with clouded eyes. “Color?” I asked.
“Green.” She laid her head on my shoulder, tucking her face into my neck. I pulled her flush against me and reached down behind her. I slipped my hand into her underwear and started playing with her once again. She grinded against my thighs, moaning softly as I probed. I slid down further and dipped my finger into her wet heat, and she moaned loudly, clenching around the single digit like she did earlier.
She pushed back on my finger, gyrating on it with a groan. I considered making her wait again but decided against it. I wanted to give her her release. Her breath brushed my skin as she panted into my neck.
She chased her release, her moans sinking into my core. I inserted a second finger, sending her over the edge. She threw her head back with a shout, and I gazed at her in awe as she trembled.
When her body stilled, she collapsed on top of me, completely limp. My cock pulsed between us, and I knew I had to deal with it. I rolled her off me, holding her close. She had passed out. I reached over and brushed her golden locks from her face and then reached down, pulling myself out and stroking until I reached release, spilling into the palm of my hand. I shuddered.
Once I had regained my breath, I climbed out of bed and left the room to wash my hands. When I came back, I wiped between her legs with a warm wet washcloth.
Once she was clean, I climbed back into bed and pulled her close, kissing her forehead as she slept peacefully.
I smiled to myself, a sense of contentment washing over me for the first in perhaps ever. I never felt like this before, and I never wanted it to end. I looked down at Hayley as she snuggled closer. I kissed her forehead and she smiled but did not wake.
I stared up at the ceiling. The only way I would keep this was by dealing with Lilith. Even if that meant taking her life.
A few days later, I leaned back on the couch at the LGBTQ+ center, staring up at the ceiling. Hayley and I had spent quite a bit of time together, but we had not been intimate again, which I took responsibility for. Hayley had explained that she had been in subspace, but it was still unsettling. I asked if we could slow it down, and she agreed.
We started taking walks through the park, once she found out that’s what I liked to do. We also made plans to revisit the Japanese restaurant later that week. I was the happiest I had ever been, but something tugged at me that I couldn’t put my finger on.
The cushion moved next to me, and I looked over, finding Ashley flopping down next to me. “You alright?”
I frowned. Was I? “I do not know.”
She leaned back. “What’s bothering you?”
I looked at the table with an assortment of queer magazines and resources scattered about. “Hayley and I had sex.” I was pretty sure that was sex. I did not actually penetrate her, but it felt like it still counted. “I liked it.”
Ashley made a face. “First time?”
I shook my head. “My previous partner would convince me to do it, but I did not want to.”
Ashley scowled. “That’s rape.”
I tilted my head. “But I agreed.”
“Anything other than enthusiastic consent or obvious physical cues is rape.” Was that what it was all this time? I always assumed something was wrong with me, or that I had to. That’s what couples did.
“Do you mind if I touch you?” she asked. I shook my head. A hand brushed my shoulder rubbing up and down. “That must have been horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.” I peered up at her, finding her smiling at me with affection.
My chest tightened as warmth spread through me. “Why do you care?”
She tilted her head. “Well one, you’re my friend. Two, rape is painful and isolating. You thought it was something you had to do, didn't you?” I nodded, surprised she was able to guess. “I’m sorry.” She leaned down and wrapped her arms around me, and I tensed and then relaxed, the embrace strangely pleasant.
When she pulled away, she grinned. “Alright, so you had sex and you liked it?”
I nodded. “Something odd happened. Hayley said she went into subspace, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable. Like...”
Ashley leaned her elbow on her knee and put her chin on her hand. “Like you were doing what your ex did to you?”
“Yes.”
“You’re so sweet,” Ashley said with a huge smile. I furrowed my brow. This was serious. Why was she calling me sweet? “Subspace is when you feel floaty and almost outside of yourself. It’s different for everyone. Others have described it as heaviness. Hayley has always been a Dom. Who would have thought she’d actually let someone Dom her, let alone send her into subspace? Hayley tends to keep her walls up. She has some serious trust issues.”
For good reason.
“She must really trust you.”
I gawked at her, and she burst into giggles. “Oh my God. Your face. You act like no one has ever trusted you before.”
I looked down. No one ever had. Even Lilith always took the reins in our relationship. Father, Lucifer, and the other angels shut me down before I could even say a word. I had spent centuries fighting to keep control, only to be knocked back down again.
Ashley reached out and patted my hand on my lap. “I think she is beginning to trust you, even if she doesn’t admit it. The question is do you trust her?” I opened my mouth and then closed it.
Did I?
She smirked. “You better figure that out before you get too deep with her. She has been hurt. Be sure.”
She jumped to her feet and walked to the door, glancing back. “It’s okay not to know all the answers now. Give yourself time. I don’t know you that well, but I can tell you’ve been through a lot. Give it time. I am always here to talk. You’re my friend, and that's what we do.” Moments later, she was gone.
I stared at the door. Friend?
Friendship was a concept foreign to my kind. My purpose had always been duty and to follow Lucifer without question, because that was what Father desired. I had to admit, I liked it. It was nice to have someone who cared and did not want something from me.
My golden armor sparkled as I walked through the great hall, shining with ethereal light. At the base of each pillar, clouds hovered. Lucifer came into view, surrounded by our brethren. He turned to me and met my gaze with a nod, his face not unpleasant, but serious. I nodded back as I approached him, still in awe of his glory. He was the closest of all of us to Father, and he shined with a light only deserving of the Morning Star.
He walked away, disappearing into Father’s chambers.
I turned around, finding Raphael approaching with Uriel and Michael at his back. They were all dressed in golden armor like mine, but theirs shone brighter. A mark of their status as archangels. “It,” Raphael said. My hair stood on end, and I whipped around. “What are you supposed to be? He? She?”
I thinned my lips. “I am them.”
He scoffed. “You are a freak.”
“Brother, leave them alone,” Michael said. Raphael glared back, and the other angel flinched. Uriel stepped forward and gave Raphael a warning stare and then turned to Michael and took his hand. Michael looked at me, and I smiled, nodding. Uriel then guided Michael away.
Raphael smirked at me, hatred shimmering in their eyes.
“Why do you hate me? I have done nothing to you.” I said.
Raphael grimaced, but did not respond, instead turning and disappearing into the heavenly haze. I watched them, wishing that they would just talk to me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hayley
Later that night, I walked out of my room and looked towards Cory’s room. The light was on. I approached and peeked through the cracked door. Corbin sat on the floor in his closet in front of a box marked Laura, staring blankly at the picture frame in his hands.
I frowned. Every so often, I would find him doing this, and he would always avoid the subject. I wished he would talk to me about it instead of bottling it all up.
I sauntered in through the door. “Hey! I’m hungry. What’s for dinner, old man?” I flopped on his bed, leaning back on my hands.
He jumped, dropping the picture back into the box. He stood and tucked the box inside the closet, closing the doors and turning to me. “How many times have I told you to not come in here without knocking?”
I shrugged. “I did.”
He furrowed his brow. “Oh.”
Guilt curled around my heart. It was a lie, but he wouldn’t have heard me if I had anyway. “So, food?”
Cory shook his head and nodded. I pushed off my hands and stood, following him out of the room and fighting the urge to wrap my arms around him in comfort. He wouldn’t accept it anyway. He was stubborn like that.