I quickly scanned through my document to make sure everything looked all right. At the last minute, I scrolled up to the top and inserted a new blank page to make an acknowledgment. If it weren’t for Zane, I doubt this book would even exist. The least I could do was dedicate it to him as my way of publicly thanking him in case I couldn’t do it in person. I took a deep breath and began typing.
To Z,
Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to be appreciated, loved, and wanted.
I’ll love you always.
- A. Donatelli
***
The next 3 weeks were hard. Zane had been calling and texting me, but I’d been unable to really respond. It was painful to see his texts and hear his voicemails detailing how much he missed me and how he was worried. Julius had been watching me like a hawk with a constant smirk on his face, as if he knew something I didn’t. He obviously hadn’t told Zane about anything because he was still contacting me as if nothing had happened. I would play along with the little game that Julius thought he was playing for now, but I would eventually find the advantage once again. I was due to meet with my mother later that evening to put the finishing touches on a social party she was hosting this weekend and demanding that I attend. Claiming that it was going to be the most talked-about party of the year, she said that it was important that I be there.
I spun around in my computer chair with my phone in my hand. Everything within me wanted to call Zane and ask to see him. I missed everything about him, and my body was already going through withdrawals. I found myself distancing myself from others, less talkative, and more irritated than usual. I hadn’t said anything to Julius unless I absolutely had to, and I hadn’t seen Gia since I stayed with her weeks ago. My mind was so consumed with the daunting task of taking off my mask. Soon, I would have to combine my two lives and confess about the real one in order to be with Zane, but would he want to go forward with me?
An e-mail notification came through on my phone, interrupting me from my thoughts. It was from Allison, again in all caps. I logged into my e-mail from my computer and giggled when I read her message:
Arianna,
I don’t know who this Z guy is, but please invite him to the party that I am planning for your making the best-seller list. The book is HOT! So hot that the printers keep running hot while trying to print! Whoever gave you this content, I want to kiss him AND his mother! This is definitely going to make a list, girl! I’ll keep you updated when we’re ready to publish!
-Allison
My smile disappeared as I wondered if that would even be possible. Even if Zane agreed, that would pose an issue with Julius. I would figure something out eventually. I glanced at the time and saw that it was almost 4:00 in the afternoon. I reluctantly got out of my chair, grabbed my purse and keys and headed out the door to meet with my mother.
It was busy at the Donatelli mansion when I arrived. My mother was meeting with the party coordinators in the dining room while my father was arguing on the phone about wine that wouldn’t be able to be imported in time. I found a quiet room in the back of the house and hid away from the chaos. I wanted no part of this fiasco. I pulled my phone out and sent a quick “I miss you text” to Zane. He instantly responded that he missed me also, that he loved me, and couldn’t wait to see me soon. I held the phone to my chest as I tightly closed my eyes, willing the tears that were trying to form not to fall. He then sent another text saying that he had gotten the biggest catering order he’s ever done, and once it was all over, he wanted to celebrate with me. I smiled. At least things were going well for him.
After about an hour had passed, the doorbell rang. Thinking it was another party planner, I didn’t budge. “Answer your own damn door,” I muttered, turning back to the Cookie Jam game I was playing on my phone. I heard a male voice when my mother answered the door before they headed off into the dining room. I shrugged. As long as she wasn’t yelling for me, I was going to continue hiding.
My father was walking down the hallway when he spotted me in the reading room.
“I didn’t know you had arrived yet. How long have you been in here?” he asked, stepping into the room.
“Probably an hour or so. Why am I here anyway?”
“To help your mother.”
“She has people doing that, so why does she—”
“Arianna! Can you come to the dining room, please?” I heard my mother call from the front of the house. I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes.
“Your mother is calling, dear,” my father acknowledged. I looked at him. I no longer saw him the same as I used to. I now felt like both of my parents were my enemies for the simple fact that they didn’t care if I was miserable or not. As long as I did what they asked, they’d continue claiming me. But was all of that really worth it in the end?
“Arianna, didn’t you hear me calling you? The caterer is here, and I need you to try samples with me since you love to eat so much,” she snapped when she stopped in the doorway of the reading room. I exhaled loudly, rose to my feet, and followed her. She quickly walked ahead of me, yapping on and on about how good the pot roast sample was and how she just knew I’d love it. I scoffed. If she continued ordering pot roast just because Julius was coming, I was going to eventually hate the meat.
“Sorry about the wait, I had to go fetch my daughter. Arianna, please hurry,” she said as I rounded the corner.
“Mom, I’m right—”
The blood drained from my face. My mother moved next to me and pulled me further into the dining room.
“This is my daughter, Arianna Donatelli. Arianna, this is Zane with Foreman’s Catering. You just have to try this pot roast,” my mother said. My mouth immediately went dry as I stood before him. Although his face showed no emotions, his eyes showed everything. I could see the hurt and betrayal harboring in his vanilla-brown eyes, the same ones that were once filled with love and lust.
“Pleasure to meet you … Arianna,” he said tightly, extending his hand. I couldn’t move. I thought I had the chance to tell him myself, but for him to see the truth without me having the chance to explain the situation was something I never saw coming. My mother cleared her throat from the other side of the table, snapping me out of my daze.
“Same,” I said softly, quickly shaking his hand. As my mother went over the menu and discussing the samples that she liked, I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was keeping a professional demeanor the entire time, not even hinting that he was upset to have found out my true identity. My mother’s phone rang, and she excused herself to take the call, leaving Zane and me alone. We were both silent for a few minutes before he spoke.
“Your parents look very alive to me, very alive and very rich,” he said flatly, looking around the dining room. I took a step closer to him and immediately felt the pang of rejection when he stepped back.
“Zane, I can explain …” I said, pausing in case he planned to cut me off. He leaned against the table and stared at me.
“I’m listening,” he simply said. My mind went completely blank. Because I wasn’t expecting him to give me the chance to explain, I hadn’t considered what I would actually tell him. At this point, I could only tell him the truth.
“We were only going to do research, which is why I didn’t think it was important to give you my real name. I—”
Zane frowned. “So why couldn’t you tell me after we decided that what we had was more than research?” I looked down at the carpeted floor in shame.
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“And what about this boyfriend who referred me here in the first place? Where was he when you stayed at my place for a few weeks?” he spat in a low tone. I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. This was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.
“He was out of town on business,” I said, finding it hard to make eye contact. Zane shook his head in disbelief as he paced back and forth. He came to a sudden stop in front of me, his beautiful eyes glaring
at me.
“You’ve lied to me since the day I met you. I let you into my life and told you everything, and you couldn’t even be honest with me!”
“I—”
“I fell in love with you, and you didn’t have the decency to tell me this before now?” he ground out. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as he spoke. He scoffed at me and chuckled.
“You asked me what would become of us after the research ended, that night at the park. I should have asked you that question. All of those times I asked you what was wrong and you wouldn’t give me a straight answer, I know what it is now. Guilt was eating you alive, and it should. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for this shit,” he spat, turning away from him. I bit my bottom lip. I deserved his anger. I deserve for him to hate me, to be upset, and to feel betrayed.
“I never lied about how I felt, Zane. I do love you, and I’m saying this as Arianna, not Sienna. I can only hope that you can find it in your heart to love me also,” I said. He turned around, his face in complete wonder and shock.
“How can you even say that? How can I love you when I don’t even know who you are? I fell in love with Sienna, not the backstabbing, lying bitch standing before me,” he growled. Just as quickly as it started, it was ending, and we were over.
“What does this mean for us?” I croaked as a fresh set of tears flowed. Zane shook his head, keeping his back to me.
“We never existed,” he replied coldly. I choked back the sob that was threatening to escape and nodded.
“I’m sorry, Zane. For what it’s worth, I never set out to hurt you—”
“Your words mean nothing, and it’s too late to be sorry. You weren’t sorry on our first date, you weren’t sorry when you showed up at my place, and you weren’t sorry when we did everything that we did. You choose to be sorry now that you’re caught? I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me the truth! And to cheat on your boyfriend? How the fuck do you expect me to trust a woman who can’t even be faithful?”
“You don’t understand—”
“What is it that I don’t understand? You keep telling me that I wouldn’t understand or don’t understand, then help me see the logic behind this stupid lie. You’re the rich girl who has everything that she could ever want. What could you possibly want with me?”
“To feel human, Zane, to feel as if I matter to someone. Julius is someone that my parents force me to be with. He doesn’t treat me like you do. I feel invisible and insecure around him, while you treat me the way a woman is supposed to be treated—”
“And you think that’s still a good enough reason to lie to me?” he interrupted. I sighed and shook my head.
“No,” I said quietly. He shook his head in disbelief once more just as my mother walked back in.
“Sorry about that. Now where were we?” she said, picking up one of the menus from the table. I excused myself and headed down the hall to the bathroom. He didn’t love or want me anymore. The thought of that alone caused my heart to shatter into a million pieces as I slid to the floor and cried.
I could only blame myself. It was my own fault, and I knew I would have to deal with those consequences sooner or later. I knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it would be so painful. It hurt so much that it caused my chest to tighten, as if someone were applying pressure right over my heart. After 30 minutes, I heard my father’s voice on the intercom calling me back into the dining room. I couldn’t face Zane again, but it was no longer about what I wanted.
I slowly made my way to the dining room and joined my parents and Zane. My father frowned at my appearance. “Arianna, a couple of weeks ago, you mentioned that you were in love with someone that was not Julius. Is this the man in question?” he asked, motioning to Zane. I glanced at Zane, who refused to make eye contact with me. If I lied again, I would never be able to redeem myself. If I told the truth, he could possibly lose the biggest catering job of his career.
“Yes,” I said softly, looking at the floor. My mother gasped and began to fuss about my betrayal to Julius.
“I don’t even understand how she managed to have an affair in the first place! Men find fat women attractive?” my mother exclaimed in surprise. I could feel Zane’s eyes on me. My gut reaction was to run, but I couldn’t will my feet to move. My father asked my mother to leave the room before he spoke again.
“Mr. Foreman, here’s the situation. My daughter is already in a relationship, and she will marry the man she is with. If she does not, she knows what dire consequences will come from it. I forbid you to have any contact with her in any form. This means no phone calls, messaging, e-mails, or anything else. I have connections at the bank that owns the building that you rent for your business. If I hear that you’ve been in contact with my daughter, I will have your business shut down. Are we clear?” he said sternly. Zane’s jaw twitched as he stared at my father.
“You can’t do that!” I protested. “It’s not even his fault!”
“You’re crystal clear, sir,” Zane ground out, picking up his papers and walking toward the door. I shook my head at my father in disbelief before running after Zane.
“Wait!” I called out as he quickly made his way down the steps and to his car. “Zane! Wait! Please!” He got into his car without a word, tossing the papers into the passenger seat, and slammed the door shut. He was starting the car by the time I finally reached him. “Zane, please talk to me! I can fix this!” I pleaded, patting the glass in hopes that he would roll down his window.
Ignoring me, he simply put his car in drive and sped out of the circle and down the long cobblestone driveway away from the mansion. I watched him until I couldn’t see him anymore, feeling a piece of my heart traveling further away from me. I collapsed onto the ground, just about unable to breathe. The pain of heartbreak was paralyzing. I tried my hardest to fill my lungs with the cool evening air, but it didn’t seem to help. Zane’s soft smile and bedroom eyes flashed into my mind, causing the pain to worsen. I knew I would never see him again or feel the way I felt in his presence. I’d never felt lonelier than I did in that moment, and that hurt more than anything my family could ever do to me.
I don’t even know how I managed to get home. I don’t remember any of the streets I traveled or even when I got in my car to leave. I remember my parents calling after me as I blindly made my way to my car, feeling completely numb. Everything was a blur on the way home. When I walked into the house, I saw Julius standing in the kitchen. I trudged down the hall, stopping briefly in the doorway and turned to him. He paused mid-sip when he saw me.
“I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done,” I said softly before making my way into the bedroom. I no longer wanted to be awake. If I could, I would sleep away every minute that I couldn’t be with Zane. I kicked off my flats, took two Ambien, and curled up on the bed, staring off into space until I finally drifted off to sleep.
The next day, I sat in my office and gazed at a photo I had taken of Zane while he was sleeping one night. My heart ached as I realized that I would never be this intimate with him again. Now that my father had threatened his business, there was no way I could fix what I’d done.
***
“My one chance at being happy is … gone,” I muttered, plucking another Kleenex from the box on Gia’s desk. She looked at me sadly and sighed.
“I’m sorry,” she said as I looked at her wearily.
“You’re not going to tell me you told me so?” I asked sarcastically, dabbing away a few tears. Gia rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair.
“I don’t have to say anything. You’re hurting enough; you don’t need me beating you down when the world already is,” she stated.
My heart felt as if it were ripped from my chest, making it hard to eat or sleep since Zane found out the truth. My mind constantly replayed the scene over and over, torturing me with each memory of the painful incident. I was also tormented by the amazing memories that I had with him. The mere thought of him sent a f
resh wave of pain through me, initiating another set of tears.
“Damn it, Arianna, you’re going to make me cry,” Gia fussed, offering the box of Kleenex to me once more. Sniffling, I took a few more and blew my nose.
“He was so perfect, G. I know I should have just told him … but I just … I was selfish,” I sobbed.
It was true. The whole time I was with Zane, I only considered my wants and feelings. I never thought about how things would affect him once everything was out in the open. Everything was falling down around me, and I had no idea what to do. With his catering company on the line, I had to be careful.
“You should go see him. It’s been a couple of days since he found out, so maybe he’s calmed down,” Gia suggested, walking around her desk to sit next to me. I looked up at her with wet eyes.
“If someone sees me, he could lose everything. I’ve ruined his life enough, I can’t do that to him.”
“Then make sure no one sees you, genius. Wait for him to come out into the parking garage or something. Either way, you two really need to talk,” she said. She was right. I needed to thoroughly think through everything I wanted to say to him and explain the whole situation. I needed him to see that despite my lies, my feelings for him were very real.
“If you were him, what would you do?” I asked, hoping to get a positive outlook on the situation. Gia thought for a moment and shrugged.
“I’d be in the next lounge, trying to find a one-night stand to forget you,” she answered, looking pleased with herself. My eyes widened in horror, as I felt more tears coming.
“Gia!” I exclaimed. She held her hands up as if to surrender and chuckled.
“Hey, you asked what I would do if I were him. This is exactly why I don’t do relationships. If there’s no love, there’s no pain.”
The Daring Assignment Page 16