He immediately thinks of Leni. She’s the person he would call to come and support him. She is his go-to person for everything.
“She is eight weeks pregnant,” is all that he can think of to say.
The doctor nods. “I see. Again, I am truly sorry.” He smiles a sad smile that Conor knows is probably because he has done this so often before. He probably sees cases like this every day. He will go home tonight, sit down to dinner with his wife and children, chat about their day – he might mention this or he might not. He will go to bed and sleep that night and tomorrow will be another day. Some people make it, some people don’t.
And that was when his world had ended, when he shut a part of himself off from everyone.
He starts to cry then. “No, no, no. I can’t do this without her. I just can’t do it.”
Chapter 55
Ella gets a fright when she sees Conor in the hospital bed. His face is a mess. There is a bandage covering the bridge of his nose, another over his left eye. The threads of spidery black stitches peep out from underneath.
“Two broken ribs, a broken nose, a fractured eye-socket – you were lucky he didn’t kill you!” She takes up a newspaper left on the chair beside his bed and sits down at his bedside where he is being kept in overnight for observation. He has told her on the phone all about what happened in the store. “I hope you’re going to press charges?”
He takes a breath in and the pain sears through his ribcage. He grimaces. “I’m not sure . . . ”
“What?”
“I don’t want to do anything that will upset Jack any more.”
“How will that upset Jack? His father is a monster. He’d be better off if he was in prison!”
“His mother is dying, Ella – I don’t want to cause him any more trauma no matter how much of a scumbag his dad is. Anyway the doctors said I’ll be fine again in a few weeks.”
“Well, I hope so – you gave me such a fright.” She is holding his hand. “If anything had happened to you, I don’t know what I would have done. I’m just so glad that you’re going to be okay. I hope if Jack ever shows up again, you’re going to tell him not to come any more? You don’t need this trouble.”
Conor knows she is right. John-Paul had threatened to kill him if he ever saw Jack in his shop again. “Yeah, I know,” he sighs. “I’ll miss him though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to know him over the last few weeks and he’s a good kid.”
“Well, I don’t know how he managed to turn out like that with a father like he has!”
“True. By the way, thanks for getting Liam in to look after the shop.”
“Don’t mention it. He was delighted to get a few hours’ work.” Liam is a student who sometimes used to cover for Conor before Leni died whenever they were on holidays or had something on, although he hasn’t been able to afford to give him any hours lately.
“Who’s minding the girls?”
“Andrea said she’d take them for a few hours so I could come in to see you.”
“How are things with Dan?”
“Not great.”
Suddenly the broad frame of a man in a Garda’s uniform is shadowing the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt you. I’m Garda Gerry McCartney. I hope you don’t mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?”
Ella stands up to leave. “I’d better go – I have to get the girls anyway but I’ll ring you later, okay? You get well soon.” She leans over him and kisses him on the forehead.
Garda McCartney removes his hat and sits down in the chair that Ella has just vacated.
“They are some pretty savage-looking wounds you got there. Can you tell me some more about how you sustained those injuries?”
Conor squirms in the bed before him. “It was just a fight, that’s all. I’ll be all right in a few weeks.” He is staring up at the fluorescent lights hanging from the roof.
“And who was the fight with?”
Silence. His eyes flick up again. The lights aren’t parallel with the grid of the ceiling tiles and Conor feels the urge to straighten them.
“It is really important that you tell me what happened, Conor. I believe you know Jack White – he sometimes likes to visit your shop?”
That gets his attention.
“You probably aren’t aware but Jack hasn’t been seen since around four o’clock this afternoon. His mother is very worried for his wellbeing.”
“He was in the shop earlier and then his dad came in and went ballistic!”
“Did John-Paul Murphy do this to you?”
He nods.
“And why would John-Paul want to assault you?”
“Jack comes to the shop most days after school. He eats a sandwich, we have a chat, he reads a few pages of a book and then he goes home for his tea. I’m not sure how it started and I don’t even know why he comes. I can understand how it must look from the outside, an introverted bookshop owner hanging out with a young boy. I know it’s an unusual friendship – if you can even call it that – but, honestly, hand on heart, it is completely innocent.”
“But John-Paul doesn’t see it like that, does he?”
“No. Jack’s dad has always been suspicious of it. He threatened me before and I had to tell Jack not to come any more because I knew it would just incense John-Paul further but he still insisted on coming back. I couldn’t talk him out of it.”
“So what happened earlier, Conor?”
“I was inside the shop, head stuck into my paperwork, Jack was in the shop chatting to me and the next thing the door opens and before I know it I am on the floor and John-Paul is kicking and punching the living daylights out of me. Jack was screaming in the background but there was nothing I could do to stop it – he took me completely by surprise.”
“And do you know where John-Paul and Jack went next?”
He shakes his head. “I assumed they went home – with all due respect I wasn’t in any state to get up and look out the door after them.”
“Of course not. So they left your shop and you don’t know where they went then, is that correct?”
“I just assumed he took him home.”
“Okay, Conor, I think I am starting to piece things together. I’ll go now and leave you to get some rest and see if I can track down John-Paul.”
“I hope Jack’s all right.”
“Well, thanks for your help, Conor, and I hope you get well soon.” He places his cap back on his head and leaves the room.
Jack looks around the concrete walls of the empty shop unit that his dad had led him to, to shelter in for the night. He had to pick the lock on the rear door to let them in. Plywood covers the square where the window should be and the unit isn’t yet wired for electricity. It smells dusty and damp and Jack can’t remember ever being so cold in his life.
“I’m scared, Da, it’s very dark in here.”
“Look, I told you, it’s just for one night – we’ll get somewhere better tomorrow.”
“But it’s freezin’!”
“Here, put my coat over you.” He takes it off and puts it over his son’s legs.
“I don’t like it here – can we just go home now?”
“It’ll be grand, Jack, you’ll like it tomorrow, all right?”
“But I’m hungry.”
“Well, you shouldha eaten something on the train like I told you to – there’s nowhere open now at this time of night.”
“I miss Ma – she’s going to be worried about me.”
“She’s grand, all right? I cleared it with her first.”
“What about Conor? He looked bad, I hope he’s okay.”
“Don’t worry about that fucker, he’s fine.”
“He’s me friend, Da!”
“He’s not your friend – trust me, son.”
“I need to go to the toilet.”
“There’s no jax here – you can go over there in the corner.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Nobody is usin
g the place, Jack, so it doesn’t matter where you do it.”
“I can’t wee on the floor.”
“Well, here, do it into this empty Coke bottle so if that’ll keep you quiet.”
“I’ll just hold it.”
“Suit yerself.”
“It’s so cold, Da, I’m freezing!”
“Stop giving out, Jack! I told you we’ll go somewhere better tomorrow.”
“But this doesn’t seem like a holiday.”
“Tomorrow it will – we’ll have a great time tomorrow, son.”
Garda McCartney leaves the hospital and straight away sets about tracking down John-Paul. His parks up on the path outside the address he was given by Libby. He can tell from the darkness inside the window that the house is empty, just as Libby said. He knocks on the door anyway just in case but there is no answer.
He goes back to the station to make a few calls before calling back to 9 St Dominic’s Terrace.
Libby answers the door.
“No sign of him?” he asks. “Or news of his father?”
She shakes her head.
“I just wanted to give you an update and tell you where we’re at now. Is Tina awake yet?”
“I’ll bring you up to her.”
He follows her up the stairs to Tina’s bedroom door.
“Is she asleep?”
“She can’t sleep and that’s saying something with all the drugs she’s on.”
He goes in and sits down at Tina’s bedside.
“How are you doing, Tina? I had a chat with the bookshop owner in the hospital.”
“And?”
“And it appears that John-Paul assaulted him following an altercation in the bookshop earlier on.”
“Jesus, well, he must have beat the shite out of him for him to wind up in hospital! That’s John-Paul all right – he lets his fists do the talking. He always has.”
“Indeed, it was a pretty serious assault – he has two broken ribs, a broken nose, a fractured eye-socket –”
“And does he know where Jack is?” Tina is holding her head in her hands.
“Well, according to him Jack was in the bookshop earlier at about four o’clock. John-Paul saw him there, felt enraged and attacked him, and then he left quickly afterwards with Jack. Conor assumed they were going home but as we know Jack never made it back here.”
“So it’s John-Paul then?” Tina says. “John-Paul has taken him? Well, if he harms Jack I swear to God I will kill him with my own two hands.”
“Here’s what I think happened. John-Paul was obviously distressed about the court hearing earlier on and he went to find Jack who was in the bookshop as you’ve told me he likes to do. John-Paul found him there and flipped out. He assaulted Conor and then ran off with Jack.”
“But where would he go?”
“Well, that’s what we’re trying to find out.”
“But what if he does something stupid – you never know with John-Paul what he’s going to do next. That’s why I broke up with him – he’s unstable!”
“I have alerts out with every station across the country. And I’ve left messages for him to say it’s okay just to bring Jack home and nothing else will happen but I haven’t heard from him yet.”
Tina nods. “That’s all I want. I just want Jack home here where he belongs. I need him to be here. I don’t have the energy for this.”
Chapter 56
Ella lies on the sofa watching a rerun of Mad Men before eventually falling asleep at some stage. She wakes up to feel someone putting a blanket over her. She opens her eyes. It is Dan.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” He sits down on the ottoman in front of her. His blue eyes look red and Ella isn’t sure if he has been crying or if it’s just tiredness.
She looks around her, adjusting her eyes to the light.
“I’ve been thinking it all over and over. I can’t get it out of my head. I keep having these mental images and one minute I’m raging and the next minute I’m a crying mess.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. “I’m so sorry for how I’ve been acting since you told me. I just couldn’t get my head around it all – I’m still struggling, to be honest.”
He falls quiet for a moment before leaning forward and taking her two hands in his. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Ella.”
He is crying into her hair. She can count on one hand the number of times she has ever seen him cry. It is unnerving.
“I’m so sorry, love. I’m sorry that you felt you weren’t able to tell me for all these years. But I’m here for you now, do you hear me? We’re going to get you help – whatever it is that you need, we’ll do it, okay? We’re going to get you better again.”
She feels relief course through her body. Finally he understands and is going to try to mend her. A song is on the TV with a husky-voiced singer strumming on a guitar. He pulls her off the couch and takes her in his arms.
“Dance with me, Ella, it’s been so long since we’ve danced together.” His voiced is croaky, choked with tears.
She feels a bit silly as first but then she presses her head against his chest and it feels good there. It feels as though she has been running for miles and miles and she has finally just sat down.
Dan starts singing softly with the song, “You and me, honey, it’s always you and me. You and me, honey.” They move in slow circles and she can feel the dampness of his tears in her hair. She lets her body move with the sway of the music. He is going to get her through it.
Chapter 57
“Any update?” Rachel asks when she calls in the next morning.
Libby shakes her head.
“I’m so worried about him, Rachel. I’m trying to play it down to Tina – God knows this is the last thing that she needs. What if something terrible has happened to him? Or what if John-Paul has done something to him? He could have him wandering the streets – you never know what sorts he’d bump into. I just am so worried . . . ”
“I know you are but you need to be strong for Tina right now. Is she sleeping?”
“She was awake most of the night so she’s only after dozing off there just before you came – she’s exhausted, the poor thing.”
“I know you mightn’t like him but, I have to say, from talking to John-Paul I could see that he does love Jack – so we just have to hope that common sense reigns and he lets him come home.”
“That fella and common sense don’t even belong in the same sentence! What if Tina passes away in the meantime? What then? You saw what she’s like, she hasn’t long left. She’s asleep most of the time. How can he be so selfish? How can he do that to her when he knows she only has a few days left? What if she dies not knowing where Jack is?” Her voice breaks.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on inside his head but the Gardaí are doing all that they can – they’re making contact with everyone he knows who might have seen him. Let’s just hope they get him soon.”
“She should be able to go in peace instead of that fella causing more drama. All he has done is bring her trouble since she first met him as a teenager – she broke my poor mother’s heart. All she wanted was drugs – I don’t think she even liked John-Paul that much – he was just a source of what she wanted. I wish Mam could have seen the woman she turned into though, after Jack was born, and what a great mother she is to him. That’s the only thing keeping me going – that I know Mam and Tina will be together very soon. They’ll have each other then.” Libby yawns, searching out the air in the room. “Sorry – I’m exhausted – it’s been a long day.”
“Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down for a while and if there’s any news or update from the Gardaí, I promise I’ll wake you straight away.”
“You shouldn’t even be here, Rachel, it’s not your job.”
“I want to be here, I want to see Jack safe where he belongs just like you. Now go up and put your head down for a bit. ”
“Thanks, Rachel, I really appreciate this and I know Tina does too
.”
Garda McCartney calls in after ten.
He shakes his head. “No news,” he says.
Rachel goes upstairs to wake Libby.
“Is there any news?” she says quickly.
“No – no news apparently.”
“I better wake her up – she made me promise I’d wake her when he came. Will you bring him up?”
Libby goes into Tina’s bedroom and opens the curtains to let in the morning before she gently starts to rouse her sister.
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