by Naomi West
“Are you pregnant again?” he asked, sounding scandalized, and I could help but scowl at him.
“No!” I said exasperatedly. “But at the end of the night, I have to go back home to Cole, and I'd prefer not to stink of booze when I do that. Especially not given that Cole's dad…” I broke off, blinking a little. “I mean, not Cole's dad, because you're obviously his dad. But my, um, husband.”
“You have a husband,” Jake said flatly. He stared at me for a long moment and then threw his hands in the air. “Jesus Christ, then, woman what the hell are you doing here? You swoop back into my life as though you want me to fuck you again or something, and then I find out that we have a kid together, but oh yeah, you've already got a husband — who's been there as Cole grew up, right?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, barely able to be heard there in the bar. I felt a couple tears slip down my cheeks as I rubbed at the inside of my wrist. “Look, I'm sorry. I know you're upset and that I probably should have told you about Cole before, I was just ... I was scared. And my parents sent me off to Louisiana to live with my grandparents, and things were just difficult. Scary and difficult. And I really needed some help, and that was when I met Brian. But I couldn't ask you to leave your whole life.”
“Because you had to do the same?” Jake growled. “What the hell kind of a man do you think I am? I would've stepped up, you know. I would've made sure that that kid had everything.” He took a deep breath. “I'm an orphan, you know. I had a pretty fucking shitty childhood bouncing from home to home, and I moved out on the streets when I was fifteen. Trust me when I say, I would have given that kid everything, everything that I never got to have.”
I was fully crying by now. I just wanted to fall into his arms, to look to him for comfort, but I also knew that I didn't deserve that. “You have every right to be angry with me,” I sobbed. “What I didn't wasn't fair to you. I just thought I was doing what was best for both of us. I didn't think that you'd ever want to see me again anyway, and especially not when I had a kid growing inside of me. And my parents were already so furious. They're so conservative, and I can only imagine what would've happened if I'd brought you home. They'd probably never have spoken to me again. I thought I was doing what was best.”
“Hey,” Jake said softly, pulling me into his arms and cradling me gently against his toned chest. “Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to make you so upset. I mean, I'm upset too, don't get me wrong, but we'll figure it out. You just have to tell me what you're actually here for.”
“I want you to get to know Cole,” I whimpered, clinging to him. “I want you to be his dad.”
“I hear he's already got one of those, though,” Jake said patiently.
“Not for much longer,” I told him. “Brian and I are in the process of a divorce. Things just aren't working out. That's part of why I moved back here; I had to get away from there. But I also. wanted you to meet Cole finally.”
Jake was silent for a long moment. “All right,” he said finally, pulling away from the hug and making me instantly regret losing the feeling of his arms around me. But he kept an arm looped around my shoulder, keeping me there close to him. “You were drinking cosmos, if I remember correctly. And then I vaguely remember something about whiskey neat.”
I wrinkled my nose but laughed a little. “Good memory,” I told him. “But I was only drinking the whiskey to fit in.”
Jake laughed and shook his head, his eyes twinkling. “You, my dear, are never going to fit in with a crowd of biker chicks. And I mean that in the best way possible.”
“So, what exactly are you doing here?” Jake asked when we both had drinks in front of us — mine a gin and tonic and his a whiskey sour. “And if it's just that you want me to meet Cole, then why now? You're going through a divorce, okay, but what else is there?”
I sighed, stirring the ice around in my drink and playing with the wedge of lime, dunking it under the liquid over and over again as though that were the most fascinating thing in the world.
“I need your help,” I finally admitted, barely risking a glance up to see Jake's answering expression. “My husband is not a very nice man. He's an alcoholic, and he gets ... abusive.”
“And what, you remember me knocking out that guy who was getting handsy with you, and you thought that—”
“No,” I interrupted, holding up a hand. “I mean, honestly, I don't really care about it as far as I'm concerned. I can deal with all of it; I have been for years now. But Cole...” I swallowed hard. “I just can't bear to think that something would ever happen to Cole. I don't think he's safe with me right now, and I know that you're part of a biker gang and I just thought...”
“A biker gang is no place to raise a kid,” Jake snapped.
“I know that,” I said, desperate to make him understand. But the trouble was, I didn't even really know myself what I was asking. “Isn't there some way that the gang could keep us safe, though?” I asked.
Jake was silent for a long moment and then looked away. “I'm not sure what I can do,” he finally said. “I'll ask Frank, our top dog, and see what I can do, but I may not be able to help you.”
“Okay,” I said softly. “Okay. That's all I'm asking, really.”
Chapter Eight
Jake
I was never this nervous to see Frank, not even when I messed up a mission, not even when I'd flunked out of that class that he insisted I take to learn some business skills. Of course, it didn't help that I'd had a little too much coffee that morning, after a little too little sleep. I was practically buzzing by the time he was ready to meet me for lunch.
And he recognized it as soon as he stepped out of his office.
“I knew it was strange for you to call and schedule lunch with me, rather than just showing up spur-of-the-moment and dragging me off for lunch, but I didn't realize it was this important,” he said, frowning at me and eyeing me from head to toe. “So. Who have you got pregnant?”
I gaped at him, wondering how he just knew. “How—”
Frank swore and shook his head. “Jesus, that was just a joke,” he said. “You actually got a girl pregnant, didn't you? Is it one of ours?”
“If it was one of the other Devil's Route bikers, I wouldn't be this nervous,” I pointed out.
“True.” Frank's eyes narrowed. “We'll talk about this over lunch, then, but at least tell me she's not a member of the Holy Flames.” The Holy Flames was one of the other biker gangs — that would have been like a modern Romeo and Juliet story, if that had been the case. But with probably more deaths on either side.
I grimaced. “It's not that bad,” I said. “She's not even a biker. It's just...”
“You're not sure you have it in you to be a dad,” Frank said sagely, and I nodded. That wasn't really what I wanted to talk to him about, but I figured that at least would give us a jumping off point. “Let's go get lunch,” Frank said with a sigh, clapping me on the shoulder. “I'll tell you everything that I know.”
“Her name's Halley,” I told Frank over burgers and beers at our favorite local greasy spoon. “I met her at a party eight years ago.”
Frank raised an eyebrow at me. “Have you been keeping her a secret this whole time?”
“No!” I said. “Look, we had a one-night stand and then she moved to Louisiana. I resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to see her again. But she's back in town. With our son.”
Frank's brow furrowed. “With your son,” he said slowly. “But you only had the one one-night stand?” I nodded. “So, the kid is seven or eight years old, and you're just now learning that you're a dad?” I nodded again, and Frank exhaled heavily. “This conversation needs something stronger than beer,” he said, pulling a flask out of his jacket pocket. He took a swig and then offered it to me, but I shook my head.
“I'm coming to grips with it,” I said. “The kid is, well, he's great, Frank. She raised him so well. He's super polite, and he's smart, and—”
“I'm guessing you didn't a
sk to have lunch just so you can sing the kid's praises, or else you would have brought the kid with you,” Frank interrupted, and I colored a little.
“You're right,” I admitted. I picked at the bun of my burger for a moment. “The thing is, they're kind of in a bad situation at the moment.”
“You need money,” Frank surmised, looking sage. He pulled out his checkbook and a pen, ready to write me a check right then and there.
“That's not it,” I said, shaking my head. “I kind of wish it were that simple.” I awkwardly rubbed at the back of my neck. “They need protection, actually. Halley is in the middle of a divorce from her husband, and the man is apparently not good people. She says he's an abusive alcoholic and that it's not a safe environment for Cole to be in. And despite her insistence that she can handle things for herself, I'm guessing it's not a safe environment for her either. She already has a restraining order against the dude, but they're kind of worried that he might violate that.”
Frank gave a low whistle. “Sounds like quite the mess,” he agreed slowly. “So, what are we going to do about it?”
“I need the help of the Devil’s Route,” I told him. “If we all worked together to protect her — I mean, that's not exactly foreign territory for us; we've done that for other people. We could figure out a schedule of shifts and—”
“There's one thing that you're forgetting,” Frank interrupted. “Or neglecting, at the very least. Our protection is a benefit that we afford to our members, but only to our members. It's too much of a risk otherwise. She could go to the authorities and expose us all.” He frowned, shaking his head. “If she's really a good girl, what do you think she's going to do the first time she catches wind of the fact that we routinely smuggle weapons and deal drugs and do all sorts of other outlaw shit? She run for the authorities, I guarantee it.”
I deflated a little. “But there has to be some way that we can protect her,” I said. “This is my son and his mother that we're talking about.”
“There's nothing that we can do unless they pledge themselves to our MC,” Frank said, shaking his head. “You know the rules, Jake. And you know that they're in place for a reason.”
“I know,” I said, frustrated. “But all the same—”
“No,” Frank said. “You know that there are very few things that I would ever deny you, Jake, but that's one of them. I'm sorry, but there's just no way that we can keep the two of them safe unless they join Devil's Route. You need to claim her as yours with a claim so strong that no one would ever even think to question it. That's what it means to be the president of the MC.”
“Okay,” I said unhappily. I would just have to find a way to convince Halley. She clearly cared about her son's safety more than anything in the world, so I didn't think that it would be too difficult to convince her. In fact, she probably already suspected that this was the case and that she would have to make this pledge. That would make things easier.
I hoped.
Chapter Nine
Halley
I picked up my phone, trying to keep it pinned under my ear as I continued juggling groceries and pushing the cart along. “Yeah, hello?” I asked.
“Hey, it's Jake,” the man said. “What are you up to right now?”
I made a frustrated noise as Cole took advantage of my distraction to put a box of sugary cereal into the cart. He stared up at me with wide, innocent eyes—knowing exactly what he had done and hoping still that I somehow wouldn't catch him and would let him have the box. “Appreciating the futility of having a grocery list when I'm shopping with a seven-year-old,” I told Jake.
I grabbed the box of cereal and put it back on the shelf. “No,” I told Cole. “Look, remember, I said we could get some pudding cups if you were really good, right?”
“But I want the Crispy Snowflakes,” Cole pouted. “All my friends get them.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten.
“Sounds like maybe you could use a hand,” Jake said. “What store are you at?”
I laughed a little. “Jake, it's fine. I've been doing this for years, remember?” I wheeled the cart around to a new aisle, already wondering what the munchkin would be putting in my cart here. Sometimes, he didn't even grab things that he wanted; he just thought it would be funny for me to find myself accidentally buying cans of SPAM or things like that.
“I want to see you guys, though,” Jake said. “I want to spend some time together.”
I paused at that. “We just had lunch together yesterday,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but I have seven years of lost time to make up with you and Cole,” Jake said. “And if you leave town again—”
“We're not planning on leaving town again,” I interrupted. Then, I shot a look towards Cole. This wasn't really a conversation that I wanted to have in front of my son. “Look, maybe we should—”
“Why don't you guys come over?” Jake suggested. “I don't have much for kid entertainment, maybe, but I do have a TV. You could have dinner and we could spend some time together, and you and I could talk.”
“Okay,” I found myself agreeing, even before I'd given conscious direction from my mind. I frowned and shook my head. “I mean...” Well, it probably wasn't the smartest idea to let Jake and Cole get attached to one another when we didn't really know what was going to happen. On the other hand, I couldn't really keep Cole away from Jake; the man was his father, and it wouldn't have been fair to continue to keep them apart, especially not now that Jake knew about the kid.
“You don't sound very sure,” Jake said, sounding amused.
“Yeah, well. This whole situation makes me kind of uncomfortable,” I said, putting two boxes of pasta down in the cart. Where I found two packages of ramen that I definitely hadn't put in there. “Cole!” I said in exasperation, putting the noodles back on the shelf.
Jake laughed a little. “Sounds like maybe you need to go,” he said. “But seriously, come over here when you're done and we'll just have a little family time. I'll text you my address.”
“Okay,” I repeated. “See you soon.”
I hung up the phone and went back to consulting my shopping list. “Mama, who was that?” Cole asked. “Who're you gonna see soon?”
“Do you remember my buddy Jake from lunch yesterday?” I asked.
“Yeah!” Cole cried. “He's silly.”
I smiled a little, glad at least to hear that Cole seemed to get along with his father. Of course, the boy really got along with everyone. “So, you want to come see him with me after shopping?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
“Yeah!” Cole repeated excitedly.
I smiled a little to myself and subconsciously picked up the pace, eager to get out of there and over to Jake's.
When we got there, his place was nothing like I might have expected. I looked around in surprise at the warm leather couches, the tasteful artwork on the walls, and the bookshelves in the corner. Of course, I had been there once before, the night that Cole had been conceived, but it had been dark, and we'd been preoccupied, to say the least. I hadn't really gotten the full tour then.
“I expected you to live in more of a bachelor pad,” I admitted to Jake.
He laughed a little, picking up the remote and searching for something that Cole could watch. “Yeah, I mean…” He blushed and glanced sharply over at Cole, as though whatever he was about to say wasn't appropriate, and I wondered if this was his way of admitting that he'd decorated the place strictly to be a babe magnet. Not that I was about to ask that in front of our son, though.
“Well, you have good taste,” I said finally.
“I bought some coloring books,” Jake told Cole, gesturing towards the table. “I didn't know if maybe you, uh, but I mean, there are a lot of adults that like coloring too, right? I thought maybe it was a safe bet.” He looked over at me.
I smiled encouragingly. “Cole loves coloring,” I told him.
“Yeah,” Cole said enthusiastically, already l
ooking through the books. He gave an excited little yelp. “Mama, he got the one with the superheroes just like Tyler has!”
I grinned at him. “What do we say, then?”
“Thank you!” Cole said, flinging his arms around Jake.
Jake looked surprised by the kid's enthusiasm and affection, and he awkwardly patted him on the back. “Uh, cool,” he said. HIs expression was growing increasingly panicked, and I couldn't help laughing.
“Hey, Coley, do you think you can stay in here coloring and watching some...” I checked what Jake had put on “...Animal Planet, while we go talk in the kitchen? It'll just be for a little while.”
“Is this like when you and daddy fight?” Cole asked, his eyes serious as he looked back and forth between the two of us.