by Lexy Parker
“I should go,” I mumbled.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asked.
Dani smirked, which pissed me off. I wasn’t going to stand there defending myself and my choices to a complete stranger.
“You know, I’ll take these for today, but tomorrow, it will have to be Clay or someone else,” I said abruptly. “If Clay can’t do it, then you’ll have to hire another company.”
Jamie laughed. “Sure, I’ll walk you out,” she said, still smiling.
I looked at her then Dani. Jamie’s smile slipped. “Dani, what’s going on?” she asked in a soft voice.
Dani shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing.”
“Do you have the sheet for today?” I asked.
Jamie nodded. “Yes, sure, I’ll grab it.”
I watched her walk to the table, pick it up, and stick it in the box. I took the box and walked for the door. I heard the two women whispering. I pushed the door open, needing to get as far from her as possible. I knew I was being harsh, but it was necessary. I couldn’t keep seeing her. I couldn’t see her every morning if I wanted to make a clean break. I had to make a clean break.
“Philip, wait,” Jamie called.
I took a deep breath, stopping halfway to the truck and turning to face her. “I have to get going.”
“What is going on?” she asked. “What the hell is happening here?”
I shrugged. “I’ve got to go. See you around.” I kept moving.
She probably thought I was a dick. I was being a dick. I was taking out my own anger and frustration over the situation out on her. I should have never gotten involved with her. I knew that deep down. I had stayed away from women for three years for a good reason. I wasn’t ready to leave Tara for good, which wasn’t fair to Jamie or any other woman. I couldn’t give away my heart when Tara still had it.
I got in the truck, glancing out the window, and saw Jamie still standing there. I could see the hurt on her face and hated that I had done that to her. It was better to get it over and done with before things had progressed any further. I jumped the gun inviting her to meet Sadie. Again, I had ignored my gut instinct and jumped right in without thinking about the consequences.
“Fucking idiot,” I mumbled, pulling onto the street.
Chapter 34
Jamie
I watched him drive away, wondering what in the hell had just happened. Part of me expected to wake up at any minute. It was one of those horrible dreams that feels so real, and then you wake up, your heart racing only to find out it was only a bad dream. I felt the cool February breeze on my face and knew it wasn’t a dream. He’d just dumped me. Not just me, but my delivery service.
I turned around and headed back inside, still trying to process what had happened. Dani was leaning against the wall, a look of pure guilt on her face. She wouldn’t look me directly in the eyes. It was her. She had said or done something to elicit that reaction from Philip.
“Dani,” I said her name in a low voice.
“Hmm?” she replied.
“Dani, what the hell happened?” I asked, my voice barely disguising the rage I suddenly felt boiling inside me.
She looked up at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make him mad,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
I took a deep breath. “What did you say?” I demanded.
“I asked him about the wedding ring he is wearing,” she said, looking at me defiantly. “The ring that screams he belongs to another woman.”
“Why would you do that?” I screeched.
“Because you weren’t!”
I shook my head. “It’s my business! It isn’t up to you to decide what offends me.”
“I was only looking out for you,” she protested. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t like him using you to warm his bed while his heart is with someone else.”
I shook my head. “Again, that isn’t any of your business. What if I’m using him?”
She rolled her eyes. “I know you well enough to know you don’t use anybody. I can see how much you care about this guy, and I don’t like the idea of you getting your heart broken because he doesn’t have the balls to tell you you’re nothing more than a way to pass the time!”
My mouth dropped open. “How dare you say that? You don’t know how either of us feels!”
“Jamie, I know you,” she said, her voice strained. “I see how into him you are. You are falling hard for him, but he is a married man. I don’t care if his wife is dead. He is still married to her, and he isn’t leaving her anytime soon. If he was truly ready to move on, he’d take that ring off or at least wear it on a different finger. The fact it is right where it was placed on the day they got married is very telling. Will you please try and understand I only want what’s best for you? If it isn’t him, I want you to move on without having your heart shattered. I do know a little something about a broken heart.”
I loved her like a sister, and I hated that she had a broken heart, but her trying to pull me into her own suffering wasn’t okay.
“Dani, it was not your place to bring up that ring,” I said sternly. “That is between him and me. I’m the only one who gets to have a problem with him wearing it—not you. You were out of line.”
“I’m sorry. I really am, but it had to be said.”
“No, it didn’t, and it definitely didn’t need to be said by you,” I replied, feeling hurt and vulnerable.
“Would you have ever asked him to take it off?” she asked.
I shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe, but I’m the one who has spent time with him. I’m the one who knows him better than you do. I know he’s torn. I know I’m the first woman he’s been with since she died. Don’t minimize his grief or his loss. This is something he needs to work through on his own timeline, not yours and definitely not mine.”
“I don’t think you would ever tell him how you felt,” she said on a sigh. “I think you would have bottled up the hurt over him still wearing the ring. Eventually, it would have interfered in the relationship.”
“I guess we’ll never know now,” I snapped. “You took care of that. Not only am I out a boyfriend, but now I have to figure out how to get my stuff delivered tomorrow.”
“I’ll help you,” she offered.
I shot her a glare. “I think you’ve helped enough.”
“Jamie, come on. Don’t be mad. This is a good thing. This is going to make him think about what he’s doing with you. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. It’s off. Now, he either figures out he’s ready to move on with you, or he realizes he’s not ready to be in a relationship with anyone.”
I shook my head. “I think we could have gotten to that point on our own. He needed time to figure things out. I was willing to give him that time, and to be perfectly honest, I was really enjoying the sex!”
She rolled her eyes. “You can get sex anywhere.”
“I’m not like that, and you know it,” I shot back.
She slapped her hand on the counter. “Exactly my point! You aren’t like that! You aren’t one of those friends with benefits kind of girls, and you are certainly better than a booty call. I don’t want you to end up being one of those women who gets a little sex and then falls at the man’s feet, ready to do whatever he asks. You’d end up babysitting his kid while he went out with the guys or hooked up with other women.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’re making some pretty harsh, snap judgements that couldn’t be further from the truth. He isn’t like that.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“I have to work,” I snapped. “You know your way out.”
“Jamie, don’t,” she said softly. “We can’t be like this.”
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t lose her. She was a part of me as much as my own arm. I did get to be mad, though. I needed some time away from her, but I already knew I would forgive her for what she had done.
“Dani, not now,” I said. “Right now, I need some time. You
way overstepped. You have to admit that. Just please, go.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe you get to be a little mad, but you know I don’t like to beat around the bush. I promise I only said something because I’m worried about you. I didn’t do it to be mean. I did it to try and protect you. You know I would never intentionally try and hurt you, but someone needed to say it.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if that someone is you. If he wanted to take off the ring, he would have. I don’t like the idea of making him choose. It isn’t like we’ve declared our love or undying affection for one another. It was too soon. It would have been different if we were serious or thinking about marriage, but we aren’t. Hell, we’d barely made plans for the weekend.”
“I’m sorry if you’re hurt, I truly am, but I want to make sure you’re not being used,” she insisted.
“Next time, will you please talk to me first?” I asked her, still angry. “I could have told you we had talked about where our relationship was going. I could have assured you I was okay with taking it very slow. I don’t know if I want to have a serious relationship with him. It’s part of exploring something new. You took that away.”
“I don’t think I took it away,” she said, shrugging her shoulder. “The ball is in his court. That isn’t a bad thing. Now you’ll know what he wants.”
“Whatever, I need to open,” I grumbled, not ready to hash it all out.
“I’ll go, but I’m calling you tonight. I’m not going to let you sit and stew on this.” She picked up her purse.
I walked up front, not saying a word. I was mad—really mad—for so many reasons. Who needed enemies when I had friends like her? No, that wasn’t true. She wasn’t my enemy. I knew what she did came from a place of love. It was definitely a tough love, though, and I didn’t like it. I would be okay with a little gentle love. To be fair, she had tried the gentle approach, but I wasn’t ready to hear it.
“It’s only been a couple weeks,” I mumbled, heading up front to unlock the door.
I unlocked it and flipped over the sign announcing I was open. I was not in the mood to talk to people, but that wasn’t an option. I had to suck it up and make a call to the delivery company. That was going to be fun.
“’Why do you need a delivery man, Miss Yates?’” I said in a husky tone. “Oh, because I’ve been fucking your other delivery man, and it turns out he doesn’t want to see my face ever again.” I felt humiliated by the conversation that was coming.
I fired up the computer, prepared to check emails and online orders. It was hard to get excited about anything when the rug had just been ripped out from under my feet. I had been so looking forward to seeing him this morning after our brief evening the night before. I had felt like we had crossed a line together. I had seen and felt the change in him. He had been more connected. It wasn’t just fucking. I knew that, but clearly Dani felt otherwise. I generally took her advice in all matters of the heart, but in this case, she was wrong.
The bells over the door rang. I inwardly groaned, not in the mood to face anyone. I took a deep breath, pushing away the sadness and frustration, and pasted on a fake smile.
“Hello,” I said in my friendliest voice.
I looked up and saw it was Mr. Reynolds. Of course, it was. He was a man dedicated to his wife. I had a feeling he would be the kind that never took off the ring should she die before him. Then another thought occurred to me. They were the kind of couple who would probably die together or within minutes of each other. Their love for each other was that powerful.
“Oh, you look sad,” he said immediately.
I smiled. “I’m not sad.”
He nodded his head. “You’re surrounded by pretty flowers. It is bound to cheer you up.”
“I hope so,” I muttered. “What is it going to be today?”
He looked around the shop. “I don’t know. I’m thinking roses today.”
I grinned. “You never do roses.”
He winked. “I’m feeling spunky today. It will be a surprise.”
I laughed, loving his spontaneity. “Absolutely. Do you want red? White?”
“Pink!” he exclaimed.
I nodded my head. “Pink it is. She’s going to love it.”
I quickly set about putting together a bouquet of short-stemmed roses, adding plenty of baby’s breath and ferns before adding a pretty pink and white ribbon.
“These are gorgeous,” he said. “I don’t know why I don’t go with roses more often.”
“Because you said they are cliché,” I reminded him.
“Oh, that’s right,” he said with a pleasant smile. “Thank you. I hope your day gets better”
“Me too,” I replied, not bothering to hide my dour mood.
He walked out of the store, leaving me alone with the flowers and my shitty mood. I couldn’t imagine not seeing Philip again. The thought slammed into me like a ton of bricks. Was he really gone from my life? Maybe he was just mad and would call me later, apologizing for storming out.
I’d seen the look on his face when I had walked in on the volatile conversation. He’d put up a wall, blocking me out completely. I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who said things without meaning them. He wouldn’t be back tomorrow. We weren’t going to hang out on the weekend. He wasn’t going to stop by my house for a quickie or anything else.
Dani had destroyed any chance of us ever having anything.
Chapter 35
Philip
The week had been ridiculously long. Every morning, I opened my eyes and dreaded the coming day. I was happy as hell the week was over—well almost over. I had to get through the day. Then I could go home and hide out for a couple days.
I felt like I had been on a rollercoaster and had been unceremoniously booted off, landing on my ass. Everything had been going so well, and then with a few sharp words, I had been thrown off. The ride was over. The fun had come to an abrupt stop, and I was alone once again. I should have known better. I couldn’t help but blame myself. I had gotten too caught up too fast. Dating wasn’t for me. I was destined to be a widower for the rest of my days.
“Sadie are you ready?” I hollered down the hall.
“Coming,” she replied.
We were going to have breakfast at Connie’s. It was a treat for Sadie. I knew I had been inattentive all week and owed her a little something special. She loved the breakfast at the diner, and if it meant I got to hang out with her a little longer, I was up for splurging.
She finally walked out of her room, dragging her backpack behind her. We quickly loaded up and headed for the diner. Grace was on duty and immediately came to our table. I could see how much she liked Sadie. Sadie had a huge smile on her face.
“Good morning, Grace,” Sadie said, grinning big.
“Hello, Miss Sadie. How are you this morning?”
“I’m good, thank you,” she said. “I don’t need a menu. I already know I want pancakes with blueberry syrup and milk to drink please.”
Grace raised an eyebrow. “You are easily the best and easiest customer in the world. What can I get for you?” She looked in my direction.
Sadie’s decisiveness put a lot of pressure on me. “I, uh, I guess I’ll have the same,” I said, not really sure it was what I wanted.
“All right, two orders of pancakes coming right up,” Grace said and walked away.
Sadie looked at me, folding her hands on top of the table. “Why are you sad?” she asked me, looking into my eyes, giving me no room to escape her mini-interrogation.
I blinked. “What?”
“Why are you sad?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sad.”
She gave me a look of irritation. “You are sad. Not like super sad, but you’re not happy like you were.”
I shrugged. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long week.”
“Are we going to see Jamie this weekend?” she asked.
I grimaced. “No, I don’t think so.”
“How come
?”
I shrugged again. “I don’t think we’re going to be spending a lot of time with Jamie.”
“Did she do something bad?” she asked innocently.
“No, not at all. It’s adult stuff.”
She turned her head, giving me a very good side-eye. “Were you mean to her? Did you guys have a fight? Did you break up?”
The kid never ceased to amaze me with how much she knew about life and things I felt were far too grownup for her to know about. I wasn’t doing as good a job at shielding her from life as I thought I was.
I cleared my throat. “I don’t know that we were a couple. We can’t break up if we’re not together.” I hoped that would satisfy her.
“I like her,” Sadie stated.
I nodded. “I know.”
“I don’t want you to be mean to her,” she instructed. “You have to be nice to her so she’ll want to go to the park with us again.”
I sighed, hating that I had ever brought Jamie around. I should have waited another week, or I should have met her friend a week earlier. Dani was obnoxious. I wasn’t sure what Jamie saw in her, but I was certainly not looking forward to running into that pit bull on the street.
“I’ll be nice,” I said. “I am nice. Like I said, it’s adult stuff, and that’s all you need to know.”
“Fine,” she grumbled, clearly not happy with my answer.
We managed to make it through breakfast without talking any more about Jamie and who was being mean to who. If only it was so straightforward. Neither of us was being mean, but if we were going to point fingers, I was the asshole. I was the one who’d been dallying. I was the one wearing the wedding ring. I was the one who wasn’t really ready to make any kind of commitment to Jamie.
I drove Sadie to school, dropped her off in the assembly line, and headed for work. Clay wasn’t happy with me for dumping the route, but he’d been kind enough to hire a temporary driver. Thankfully, there was enough work for all of us, but I knew it was only temporary.
I walked into the office. Clay was printing out the route sheets for the day. “Philip,” he hollered my name.