“You’re really good for him,” I said.
“He’s good for me,” she responded, and smiled. “Did you eat?”
“No,” I admitted. “I kind of forgot.”
She opened her fridge and pulled out a glass dish. “Chicken and broccoli casserole?”
My stomach grumbled. “That sounds amazing. Thank you.”
Posey heated a plate up for me as I sipped my wine. We didn’t talk, which I appreciated more than Posey would probably know.
My memories flooded back to when Mom woke me to tell me Daddy had died, along with my grandparents. I was ten. It took me weeks to fully grasp that my father wasn’t coming back, and it had wrecked me. The fact I’d lost my grandparents as well was devastating, but overshadowed by the fact my father was just suddenly not there.
I’d had my mother and my brother, so I had a buffer of sorts, and support. At least, as much as you could have when you were all grieving. We clung to each other, but Nova had no one. At least, no one I knew of.
“Mommy?”
I turned as Nova came padding into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.
I slid off my stool and knelt in front of her. “Hi, baby. You okay?”
“I’m wet,” she whispered, crying softly as she held her pig close.
“How about I go start my big bath?” Posey offered. “We’ll get you all cleaned up and you can have bubbles if you want.”
“I want Mama,” Nova whispered.
“I know, baby.” I cupped her face. “We’re going to take care of you, okay? Let’s go get you out of those wet clothes.”
We followed Posey up to her master bathroom where she started the bath.
“What are we going to do about soap?” I asked. “I didn’t think about grabbing any from her house.”
She raised a finger and waved it. “Be right back.”
I helped Nova get her wet clothes off just as Posey walked back in with a basket wrapped up with cellophane and a bow. “Baby shower gift. The party’s on Saturday, so I’ll just grab another one tomorrow.”
She unwrapped it and pulled out baby bath supplies, including shampoo and lotion. She even pulled out a towel that had a duck hood sewed onto it.
“This is perfect,” I said, showing Nova. “It’s a ducky towel. Quack, quack.”
Nova smiled. “Quack.”
This small smile took a weight off my shoulders I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“There you are!” Posey exclaimed and pulled out a small rubber ducky squeezing it, so it squeaked before handing it to Nova. “You have a friend to join you.”
Nova nodded, then leaned against me. “Can I take Mr. Diggles into the bath?”
“No, baby, we don’t want him to get wet, but we’ll keep him close, okay?”
Posey felt the water and smiled. “It’s all ready, honey. You ready to hop in?”
Nova looked up at me and I cupped her cheek. “I’ll help you.”
“I will wash your stuff and give you guys some space,” Posey offered, scooping Nova’s wet things up off the floor and leaving us alone.
I lifted Nova into the tub, and she rested her chin on her knees. “Is Mama dead?”
I bit back tears. “Do you understand what that means?”
She nodded. “It means she’s sleeping and never going to wake up.”
“Yeah.”
“She’s not going to wake up, is she?” Nova whispered.
“No, baby, she’s not.”
She burst into tears and I cried right along with her as I lifted her wet little body onto my lap, wrapping a towel around her, and holding her as she cried.
“You are not alone, beautiful girl,” I promised. “I will make sure you’re safe, okay?”
“Can I live with you?”
“I don’t know, sweetie, but you can stay with me until we figure all of this out.”
“Can Uncle Shutter stay too?”
“I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, so let’s figure things out and go from there. We will both make sure you’re safe even if he doesn’t stay with us. Always.”
“Okay.” She nodded and kissed my cheek. “Can I finish my bath now, please?”
“Absolutely.”
I lifted her back in, ignoring my soaked clothing and she seemed to relax a little as the time went on. Posey knocked on the door and peeked in. “I changed the sheets and grabbed her some fresh clothes out of her backpack.”
She set the dry clothes on the counter.
“Thanks, Posey. That’s great.”
She frowned. “Are you wet? What happened?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“I’ll see if I can find you something to change into.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Honey, I’m a size sixteen, you’re a two. I highly doubt even your yoga pants will stretch enough. I’ll dry out.”
“Nolan might have something.”
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” I said. “Thanks.”
Posey had found a pair of my brother’s sweats and T-shirt that I pulled on while she washed my things along with Nova’s.
After finishing up Nova’s bath, I helped her dress into her clean clothes, then gently brushed out her hair letting it air dry as I read her three books. I had to download them onto my phone, but we got it done and she seemed to fall asleep with a little more peace than she had earlier.
I left the door open a crack again and made my way out to the living room to find Quin and Willow, a couple of the club women, chatting quietly.
Willow, Dash’s wife, jumped up and rushed to me. “How are you? How’s Nova?”
“I’m okay. She’s better, I think.”
“Quin and I made a Walmart run,” she said. “We bought a few essentials for her.”
I pulled her in for a hug. “Oh my god, that’s amazing. Thank you.”
Posey handed me a fresh glass of wine and I flopped in one of her oversized chairs and pulled my feet under me.
“What does Nova know?” Willow asked.
“Well, she knows her mom’s ‘sleeping and never waking up,’” I said.
“Oh my god, really?” Quin said, blinking back tears. Quin was married to Badger and you rarely saw Dash without Badger, so the women were often together as well.
I nodded. “Who’s watching your kids?”
“Gator’s watching mine,” Willow said.
Gator was one of the crotchety old bikers who’d been adopted into the club. He and Dash had been tight before Dash had met and married Willow, but she’d decided to keep Gator as her surrogate dad, considering hers had died several years ago. It was a win-win situation, and he seemed to get nicer the longer I knew him.
“Brooke’s got mine,” Quin said. “She brought her kids to my place, so it meant I didn’t have to wake mine.”
Brooke was married to Caspar and although they had three kids, they were older, giving her a little more freedom.
I heard my phone peal from the kitchen, so I stood and rushed to it, answering it without looking at the screen. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Mel. Everything okay?”
I stepped into the office and closed the door. “I have no idea.”
I filled her in on everything that had happened, and she let out a low whistle. “That poor little girl.”
“Yeah. I have no clue where to go from here. I don’t think Darlene had any family. None she cared to mention, anyway.”
“Let me put some feelers out,” Melonie offered.
“I don’t want her on the radar of CPS, Mel. Not yet, anyway. We’ve got her covered, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as we can.”
“I would suggest you start going through foster care classes. It’ll help down the road.”
“When?” I challenged. “I barely have time to breathe as it is.”
“You’ve got some sick time banked. Take tomorrow off. I’ll approve it.”
“Okay, Mel, thanks.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.�
��
“Thanks, honey. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course.”
She hung up and I made my way back out to the living room. It was empty, so I walked into the kitchen where Posey was closing the dishwasher. “Where is everyone?”
“They headed home. They were just here for a little bit to check on you and Nova.”
“That’s really sweet.”
“Yeah.” She leaned across her kitchen island. “You should sleep, Cat. I highly doubt anyone’s going to have any answers for a while.”
“I want to be here if Nova needs me.”
“Crash on the sofa. I’ll go watch television in the bedroom. Nolan’s shift is over in an hour, so I was going to wait up for him, anyway.”
“Okay, Posey, thanks.”
“I’ll grab you a pillow.”
She grabbed a pillow from the closet, covering it with a pillowcase while I pulled a blanket out of the chest she kept by the sofa.
I curled up on the cushions, convinced I’d never be able to sleep, but quickly crashing despite my worry.
* * *
Shutter
I pulled into Shadow’s driveway just as he did. I had managed to get into Darlene’s apartment without anyone’s knowledge, but it didn’t really give me any answers to the thousand questions running through my head.
“Hey, brother,” Shadow said, as he climbed out of his truck.
I gave him a chin lift, then took off my helmet and gloves.
“You find anything?” he asked.
“No. I grabbed some paperwork she had sittin’ on a desk, and found a few things in drawers, but I haven’t gone through it yet.”
Shadow nodded. “Come in. We’ll look at it together.”
“Did your sister head home? She hasn’t returned my texts,” I asked as I followed Shadow inside, setting the stack of papers I’d grabbed from Darlene’s onto the kitchen table.
“Posey said she was going to hang out in case Nova needed her. She probably just crashed in the guest room.”
“Hi,” Posey whispered, and I glanced up to see her walking down the stairs.
“Hey, baby,” Shadow said, greeting her with a kiss. “Where’s Cat?”
“Shh,” she warned. “She’s asleep on the sofa.”
I walked into the living room and leaned over the sectional. “No, she’s not. Where’s Nova?”
Posey frowned. “She’s in the guest room down here.”
“Down the hall, last door on the right,” Shadow said, and I headed that way.
The door was already ajar, so I pushed it open further and the light from the hallway gave the room a soft glow.
My heart swelled at the sight of Catalina curled around Nova, both of them sacked out and sleeping soundly, and I knew Cat would protect that little girl with her life.
Jesus, Catalina was the prettiest woman I’d ever seen.
She was the sweetest, too.
I just wish she’d let me in.
“Hi,” she whispered, and I met her eyes. She was sleepy and her hair was a mess, but she was still beautiful.
I smiled. “Hey.”
She put her finger to her lips and slid off the bed, trying not to jostle Nova. She pulled her hair up into a hair tie as she walked out of the room with me. I moved to close the door, but she stopped me, shaking her head. “Nova’s having nightmares, so I want to be able to hear her.”
“How’d she do?”
“Not well. She guessed her mom’s dead and I had to confirm it.”
“Jesus,” I hissed. “You okay?”
She bit back tears and shook her head, but when I moved to hug her, she stepped away. “Did you find anything?”
“Not sure. I grabbed a stack of papers—”
“You went into her house?” she hissed.
“Yeah, how else was I gonna get information?”
“How did you get into the house?” she asked, then raised her hand. “Nope, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
I grinned and nodded.
“Let’s take this into the living room,” she said. “I don’t want to wake Nova.”
I followed her down the hall and back into the kitchen where Shadow had already started sorting the paperwork. He held up an envelope and I could see it was addressed to me.
I frowned, taking it from him and tearing it open.
Shutter, if you’re reading this, it means I’m dead. Damn that sounds so dramatic. I got myself into a shit heap and I’m pretty sure I can’t get out of it. I know we’re done, and I know that you have no obligation to me or Nova, but I need you to take her and protect her. I know she’s not a possession, but I’m willing her to you. I have a little bit of money put aside and you can have it. It’s not much, but it will help. You’re the only one I trust. I know this is a lot to ask, but please don’t give her to the State. She loves you. She trusts you. Please tell her nice things about me.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” I hissed, and stormed out the front door.
* * *
Catalina
I let out a sigh, then followed Silas outside, crossing my arms to ward off the chill. “Silas, what’s wrong?”
He handed me the letter and I stepped over to the outside light to read it. “Whoa. I can’t even imagine how hard it would have been to write that.”
“She had no right,” he growled. “No fuckin’ right.”
I handed him back the letter and watched him as he paced and raged, albeit somewhat quietly.
“What else was she supposed to do?” I asked.
“Leave her with her family?” he said. “Her blood.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Does she even have blood relatives anywhere?”
I shrugged. “No fuckin’ idea.”
“Do you think you should maybe find out?”
“I can’t keep her,” he said.
I nodded, swallowing convulsively, as I tried to keep myself from bursting into some weird sobbing jag.
“What, Cat?” he challenged. “I can’t.”
“Okay,” I said, my heart breaking.
“I have no idea how to be a father.”
“Why do you think that?” I pressed.
He shook his head and I sighed.
It didn’t matter how close we were, he never talked about his past. I’d tried to get him to open up, but every time I asked even the most benign question, he would change the subject or flat out refuse to talk about it. I know he’d had a rough childhood, but no one had ever expounded on exactly what that meant… especially not Silas.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he ordered.
“Like what?”
Silas frowned. “Like I’m disappointing you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t realize.”
“Yeah, you did.”
I dropped my head in an effort to hide my guilt, but the truth was, I was disappointed in him. He was better than this.
He dragged his hands over his face. “I trust you, Cat. I trust your judgement. You might be the only one I trust in that department, so if you think I’m making the wrong choice, I’d appreciate it if you’d tell me.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to do that.”
He stepped toward me and I backed up, running into the garage door. He continued to crowd me, and I bit my lip to keep from squeaking in fright.
“Don’t do that,” he whispered.
I dropped my head. “What?”
“Don’t look like you’re afraid of me when I know you’re not.”
I swallowed again.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby,” he bossed. “All of it.”
I shook my head.
“Why not?” he asked, lifting my chin gently and stroking my cheek.
“It’s not my place.”
“Then tell me what you’d do,” he requested.
“If it were me, I’d take her, and I’d love her. Make sure she knew she was always covered.”
“That’s be
cause you’re a saint.”
“I’m not a saint, Silas. I just know what it’s like to lose my parents,” I rasped. “But it’s obvious Darlene wasn’t thinking straight. Nova’s not a dog, you can’t just give her to someone, especially a biker with questionable morals.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Questionable morals?”
“Did you or did you not, break into Darlene’s home ignoring the fact it’s a crime scene, and steal paperwork that might be pertinent to finding her killer?”
“That doesn’t mean my morals are questionable.”
“It does in polite society.”
“Never been much for polite society,” he retorted.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, regardless, Darlene has put you in an impossible situation and Nova shouldn’t be punished for that.”
“We agree there. But what the fuck happens now?” he asked. “Does someone come take her? Because you know I don’t have a place for her. I live out of the club and work out of my studio.”
Shutter was an incredible photographer, in demand by pretty much everyone, and his studio was booming. But he was right. He didn’t have a proper home, which meant, even if family services approved him taking Nova, there was nowhere for her to sleep.
“I’d imagine nothing for the moment,” I said. “CPS is a government agency, they don’t typically move quickly, so I told her she could come home with me.”
“You did?”
I nodded. “It will buy us some time, at least enough to figure out a permanent solution.”
“You’re kind of amazing,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes, my heart racing.
“Cat?” my brother called, and it gave the perfect excuse to extricate myself from Shutter and his sexiness.
“I’m here.” I dipped under Shutter’s arms and rushed back inside.
“You okay?” Nolan asked.
“Yep.”
“What the fuck’s goin’ on?” this question was directed to Silas, so I put more distance between me and Silas, heading down the hallway to check on Nova.
I peeked into the room and found her still sleeping soundly, so I stepped into the bathroom, leaning against the door to try and compose myself.
I had thought for a second Silas might kiss me and when my brother called for me, I was sure I’d die from disappointment. Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself it could, and would, never happen so my brother’s interruption had been perfect timing.
Revealing the Biker's Destiny (Dogs of Fire: Savannah Chapter Book 9) Page 3