She falls back asleep against his chest.
I can’t smell that he has taken her yet. She doesn’t smell like that yet.
“What are you looking at?” He watches as my eyes travel the length of them.
“Why are you doing all this to her? Why not just let her be with him? She doesn’t want you.”
“The thing is, Rya, I’m not a quitter, like you. I just don’t give up on my mate.” Looking at him funny, I’m somewhat confused.
“I did try to fight for him. I have the scars to show for it.” How dare he say I didn’t fight for him? I tried.
“One time, you tried one time only. You got your hand slapped and decided just to quit and give up, hide away and cry yourself to sleep at night, feeling sorry for yourself. Did you try your best, Rya? Did you put all your effort into your fight?” He huffs out his breath, already thinking he knows the answer.
“You left him, walked away from him, and didn’t fight for him. That’s how I see things. See, that’s the difference between you and me, Rya. I won’t quit. I will wake up every day and fight for what I want. It’s not easy. It’s a lot of work.” He brushes the hair out of her eyes, kissing her forehead. “I will put as much effort as it takes for us to be together.” He looks down at Kennedy, who’s sleeping peacefully in his arms, exhausted from being out for so long.
“Rya, you just gave up on yourself. You just gave up when things got hard. You decided that it was too difficult to fight for something you wanted. You just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see that light, and I will do everything I can to reach it for her, for us. This is where she belongs, by my side.” His teeth have stopped chattering; the slight blue tinge is gone.
“If you hurt my brother in any way, I will tear your throat out myself. He’s a good wolf, Rya, better than anyone I know. I’m not sure that you deserve him.” He turns his head away from me.
“He needs someone who will fight for him. He’s not that same wolf. I’m hoping he will come back to us the way he was. Can you be that wolf who brings him back?” I’m not really sure what he means by that, so I don’t respond.
Watching, Kennedy snuggles into him more. She whispers, “Clayton,” into Cash’s neck. Instantly he stiffens, shaking her awake.
“If you dream of him, you don’t get to sleep!” he yells into her ear as she jumps, waking with a crying scream.
Such a twisted interpretation of love.
Chapter 20
Just A Nudge
The tension is so heavy at my table, tongues are talking, tense through gritted teeth. Chairs squeak as we shift positions uncomfortably, trying our best to get comfortable.
I am unable to stop myself from looking at Kennedy, up close and personal. I’m just trying to see what she has that I don’t possess. What’s so special about her?
“Stop staring at me.” She doesn’t look me in the eyes as she opens her mouth for Cash to put the spoon to her lips. She takes what he offers, except I am the one who provided all of this. I hate the way the metal clinks against the porcelain bowl. I can’t look away as he takes another spoonful, blowing on it before putting it up for her to take another bite of my food.
Cash gives me just the slightest glare. I still don’t turn my eyes from her. I just can’t stop staring. The way her lips are full and thick, the way her hair falls in soft curls around her face, the way her chest gently rises and falls with each breath. I just can’t stop wondering about this female. What makes her so much more than me?
“If you don’t stop, I’ll make you!” Now her eyes are on mine. My wolf is excited by her threat.
Dallas has his hand on my back, rubbing in a calming, circular motion. It works, slightly.
This is a nightmare come true for me. I would have never predicted this, ever. Kennedy sharing my food at my table. The next thing is me helping her ease a pup into the world. I won’t be able to do that. I can’t be expected to do that.
Already I can detect just the faint change in her scent; the way she smells is ripe. She will have to start changing her panties regularly now. Her body is producing more fluids for her male to smell. Instinct and hormones are at play that can’t be controlled. Her mind will rebel, but her body is full steam ahead. Cash will become a force to be reckoned with as her heat progresses. Aggression takes over. A need to mate and produce offspring will be all-consuming to the both of them. Enemies becoming one in an age-old dance.
How will she feel after this? How will she meet her lover’s eyes when she has her mate’s pup in her belly?
Love is hard.
A knock on the door has me greeting Luna Grace and her Silverback male. He’s something else as I let my eyes travel the length of him.
He’s sophisticated, well-aged with a look that he can belong anywhere he desires. You make room for him and adjust to him and his needs.
He smiles toward me as I try to get myself under control. The wolf in me wants to stare at his eyes, a compulsion so great that I can’t pull away. She thinks she is her equal and doesn’t want to turn tail toward him.
“Rya, enough.” His voice is deep, with a slight menace of threat below the layers.
Luna Grace, watching the interaction, says nothing, just observes her male and myself.
Dallas is quick to stand beside me with an arm around my shoulder. His body just angles slightly in front of mine, protectively. He pushes me very smoothly behind him. His father laughs slightly, and the mother gives him such a sweet look as if to say, “That’s my boy.”
“It smells so good in here, Rya. Is that soup you made?” Luna Grace steps inside. She’s looking around. Her eyes never stay on any one spot for too long.
“Are you hungry? I have lots left.”
“That would be wonderful.” They take a seat at the end of the table as Dallas sits at the head with me on the right.
“How are you two doing?” Luna Grace is all smiles, waiting patiently for one of them to answer.
“How do you think we’re doing?” Cash spits out.
The alpha’s big paw of a hand lands on his son’s shoulder; he’s showing teeth. “No need to speak like that to your mother.”
“I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I apologize.” Cash’s voice is very soft now. Kennedy doesn’t look at anyone; she just keeps her head down, trying to hide behind the curtain of hair.
Putting the bowls in front of Dallas’s parents, I’m feeling very awkward.
“Rya, do you have bread? This would go very good with bread.” She dips her spoon into the soup without scraping the side of the bowl. She eats silently.
Taking a deep breath, I get her the bread she wants.
“Kennedy, would you like a piece of bread?” Luna Grace says.
“No.” She says the word very low in her throat. Cash rubs her back as she shakes slightly.
The relief I feel inside me is beyond heaven. Never would I break bread with that female.
I feel as if I’m just waiting for an implosion to happen.
When Kennedy lifts her eyes up, they are of a she-wolf who wants to tear into something. My nails bite into the palms of my closed fists.
A low growl escapes her chest when her eyes find me. A flash of teeth from her, as mine, say hello.
“They need to work this out.” I hear the Silverback male putting his two cents into the conversation that Kennedy and I are having without sound. Actions sometimes speak louder than any words.
“It wouldn’t be fair, Father. She hasn’t trained. She can’t even shift properly yet.” Dallas stands up, coming once again beside me.
“Maybe I should teach her.” Cash and Dallas both look at their father in surprise.
“No,” Cash answers for me.
“Why not, Cash? Afraid she will be able to back her teeth up once I’m done with her?” his father says very quietly. How is it he can project strength in a whisper?
“Father, I can train her.” Dallas speaks up to his father.
“No,
I think you would be too easy on her. She has too soft of a look. You would give in too easily.” His arms cross over his massive chest.
“She’s needed here. She has a few females who will be birthing soon.”
“You deliver them. You’re trained for that kind of emergency.” His father seems like he has an answer to anything Dallas can throw his way.
“You know how I feel about that. You know that it’s hard for me.” Dallas’s voice gets low and very serious. He’s prickling up his back fur along his spine. I can feel how tense Dallas is becoming.
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” My turn to voice my opinion.
“Rya, I could train you to become what your wolf wants to be. She would be able to back up those sharp teeth instead of tucking your tail underneath you. You need some guidance that you never had. I could help you.”
All of our heads turn toward Kennedy, who starts laughing at me. I can taste the vileness in it, the bitterness she feels. The wolf in me hates when wolves laugh at me. It makes her insane. I throw the bread I’m holding at her face and actually hit her. Crumbs scatter on the table and floor, sticking to her head.
Implosion.
She clears the table easily, in one massive leap.
Before I know it, I’m thrown into the door hard by hands that are reaching for my neck.
“Let them do this. They need it,” Luna Grace yells out to the two males, who are now trying to separate us. Cash and Dallas let go and slightly posture to one another before their father rumbles his dislike for that.
My fist connects with Kennedy’s jaw; I think my hand hurts more than her face. She takes the punch easily with a smile full of sharp teeth. It looks like she can take a punch as she begins to laugh again.
The Alpha gets up and opens the door, taking us females by the scruffs of our necks before throwing us outside. It’s as if he has done this several times before with how smooth his actions are.
Landing on the ground, Kennedy rolls on her side, springing up faster than me. Her fist answers mine back with a bone-crushing crunch. I think she broke her hand on my jaw that is now hanging off its hinge.
A kick to my stomach makes me gasp, another kick comes, but I grab her foot, twisting hard, making her fall down. I’m on her with fists that fly hard at her face. It’s like high school all over again. I wonder what the watching wolves are thinking.
Kennedy is crying her rage, pulling my hair back. A knee to my back bruises delicate kidneys, an elbow to that side of my jaw has me dizzy with pain. She takes the advantage as her fists land again on my face. She rolls me off her, so now I am the one on my back. She straddles my chest, and both her hands wrap around my neck, squeezing the life out of me. I can’t take a breath in as my hands try to break her hold.
The Silverback Alpha pulls Kennedy off of me, kicking and screaming. She’s thrown at Cash, who catches her easily in his arms.
Dallas is encouraging me to take big breaths into my oxygen-starved lungs.
Cash is looking at Kennedy as she circles around him, posturing to her mate that she’s not happy.
“Stop touching me!” she screams to Cash, who stands straight. Her words hurt.
“You’re not him. You have no right to touch me. How could I even find you worthy when I had him between my legs? You’re nothing compared to him. You are nothing but a weak little wolf. You can’t even begin to satisfy me the way he does.” Both Cash and I flinch at the acid dripping from her voice. “When he gets better, he will challenge you for me. He will tear your throat out, and I will eat your heart while you lay dying at my feet.” Her laugh bubbles out of her mouth as if she is also on the verge of insanity.
“He doesn’t want you, Kennedy.” Cash’s voice is calm, cold, as he regards her. He circles her so she has to spin slowly around to face him. Is he still going to try to put his effort into her? It seems she doesn’t appreciate his fight. “He gave you to me. He threw you away, like garbage. I would never have given you to anyone. He doesn’t care anymore.” His canines have descended.
“He loves me! He’s going to fight for me. You’re a liar! He would never do that to me!” Tears once again are coming down her face, which is bright red and starting to bruise.
“I’m going to teach you, Kennedy, who you belong to. It’s not him. You’re my mate, and we belong together. I know it’s hard for you, but I won’t give up making you understand this. I’m going to make you understand who I am to you.” He grabs her, biting down on her neck, hard. She moans from the contact. Her body is the biggest betrayer her mind will ever know.
Hands wrap in his hair, their bodies melting into each other’s. They hold that position for just a minute, unable to untangle themselves. Reason must have found her brain as she begins to kick and scream, but he restrains her from doing damage.
He wants to be her oxygen, but she’s refusing to breathe. Unfortunately for her, she’s going to be forced to breathe him in.
“You both need to leave now!” Dallas is in front of me, hands cupping my cheeks, shaking his head sadly.
“At least you tried, Rya. You might not have won, but you tried. No one likes being laughed at. Maybe next time, she might think before she tries to laugh at you. She knows now that you will fight back.” His fingers caress my bruised jaw, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.
He brings me into his chest, where the smell of him envelops me. It’s alluring. His touch soothes my pain. I feel the thrum of his body with my presence so close against him. My heart rate starts to slow, trying to match his. He just holds me tight and safe against his chest. No one can touch me now in this minute. He wouldn’t let that happen. Fingertips are now at the curve of my neck; my jaw feels better pressed against him.
“Both of you go. Cash, you should take her to go see him. Have him tell her himself if she doesn’t believe you. Remember, Cash, you can’t hurt him. He’s injured, and it wouldn’t be a fair fight. It would be without honor for you to hurt him when he can’t defend himself.” His words are thrown like knives against him, sharp and to the point.
Kennedy actually perks up. Her bruised face still is beautiful, and I want to hate her for that.
I’m not sure that I’m prepared for the next family dinner. One day, maybe we could all sit down like one big happy family that you see on TV. For now, our dinners will always end in violence and bruising instead of hugs and kisses goodbye.
Dallas takes my hand, leading me back inside. He sits me down on the chair. Looking inside my freezer, he gets some ice in a plastic bag and wraps it in a towel. Handing it to me, he starts to clear off the bowls of half-eaten soup. Placing them in the sink, he washes them.
“Are you okay, Rya?” Luna Grace asks, taking in my injuries.
“I’m fine.” I’m slightly ashamed I’m not a good fighter. I deliver babies, not fight for the pack.
“You put up a good fight for not being trained.” She pats my leg, rubbing it slightly. “You females really need to try to get along if you can.” She says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“I’ve seen you before, haven’t I, Luna Grace?” My jaw barely moves with my words because of the pain. I just need to change the topic of conversation.
“Yes, you have, Rya. I was never really introduced to you. I’ve seen you before in the pack that you were trained in.” Her big male puts an arm around her shoulder.
“I heard a rumor that there was a moon-eyed female training away from her pack, so I had to come and see for myself.” She leans into his arm, and he kisses her temple.
“You see, Rya, you’re very special. That mark on your neck won’t fade. You are the only one born in a century to carry the eyes of the moon. You have a choice. You get to decide who you want as a mate. Imagine that, the moon giving someone a choice.” Her smile reaches those eyes that look so loving. Even my own mother doesn’t have eyes like hers.
“Are you upset with the choice the moon made for us?” The Alpha smiles into her neck before kissing it.
/> “No, my male, I’m very pleased with her choice.” He runs his fingers through her hair, and I need to look away from them. I’m embarrassed by their outward display of love. For them, it doesn’t seem that love hurts; there is no pain in their faces when they look at each other.
“As I was saying, I have never been introduced until I arrived here. My sister is the Luna of that pack you were at. She called me, knowing that I would be interested in someone like you for my son. She told me your mate rejected you, that you were available for the taking.” Her words sound truthful. She looks me in the eye, never looking away.
Dallas sits down beside me, arm over my shoulder, a kiss to my neck. His mother smiles at us approvingly.
“Go on, Mother, I’d like to hear the rest of this.” I put my hand on his thigh. His muscle quivers from my touch.
“I never approached you personally, Rya. I wouldn’t do that. I did help my son decide about this pack. There were many offers on the table for him. He was wanted by many. I told him that I had a good feeling about this pack, that maybe he might find something of worth there. He was on the fence at first. The pack is small. So I mentioned to him he could do it for only three years, give it a chance. We set up a contract. If he didn’t like it there, he could leave after three years. I also had him put in the negotiations that if he found a potential mate that he is free to bring her back here. That she would be allowed to leave the pack to go live where my son decided if he didn’t want to stay. The former Alpha of this pack signed it without question. Imagine my surprise when they told me the contract was not going to be honored.”
“Is that why you pushed so hard for me to come here? You knew she would be coming here. How did you know that I would take interest in her?” It’s obvious he’s feeling slightly betrayed.
“How could you not take interest in her? She’s the most beautiful female I have ever seen, inside and out.” I turn red with the compliment.
“So what I did was just give you a nudge in the right direction, my son. Just the tiniest push to see if anything could happen between the two of you. If you weren’t interested, then you weren’t interested. No one was forcing you to like her. You did that all on your own. You liked her on the outside first, but I bet once you got to know her, it’s the inside that made you like her more.” She’s waiting for his answer.
Clayton (The Wildflower Series Book 1) Page 18