She stared at me for a minute, absorbing my words, at first with a hint of apprehension that quickly shifted to a light, teasing smile. “Don’t you be getting all mushy on me, Professor Badass,” she finally whispered.
Good catch, I thought to myself.
“I don’t do mushy,” I replied.
She nodded skeptically. “Right.”
“Seriously… you’re really that good of a fuck.” She laughed as I began to gently push the blanket from her body, watching the firelight flicker over her satiny skin, glowing in contrast to the deep shadows of her hair. “Nothing mushy about that.”
She clearly didn’t believe me, though.
But then I didn’t really believe me either.
“So, I’m heading out for a couple weeks tomorrow,” Cole said as we sat at the bar of the Copperline late the following Thursday afternoon. “Are we on for tonight, or are you gonna lie to me again?”
I sighed.
He’d known. I’d known he’d known, although I’d had just the faintest glimmer of hope that he hadn’t.
“Fuck, dude,” I began, “I’m sorry. There was some shit I had to talk to Rain about. Class stuff.”
“Playing teacher? Nice.” He sounded upbeat, yet there was a bit of a hard edge to it. Something still wasn’t quite right. “Did she dress up for you?”
Fucking better happen soon, I thought to myself, barely containing the groan.
“I wish,” I replied, “but it was actually kind of serious. It wasn’t really about sex.” Not at first, anyway…
“You mean you didn’t fuck her then?” he asked.
Unthinkingly, I puffed out my chest and gave a typical dickhead manwhore response. “Yeah, I fucked her. Of course I fucked her.”
“Thought so,” he snapped. This time, the tinge of jealousy rang loud and clear.
Shit. Who knew the dude I was sleeping with would be the one to turn all possessive chick on me?
“How often do you guys fuck when I’m not around?” he asked after a long, totally awkward moment.
Daily, I thought. Sometimes two or three times.
“Not much,” I lied and took a sip of my beer.
“Surprises me… hot little thing like her. Most guys would be all over that twenty-four/seven.” He sat back and eyed me. “Ever think you might be gay?”
I actually had wondered that before. Before Rain, maybe, but it had crossed my mind. Second-guessing my sexuality because of the desire I’d had for dudes, even my friends at times. And there were all the things Cole did to me and that I wanted to do to him. The things I craved.
But those things just weren’t quite enough.
I could admit that I was very much attracted to Cole. Enough that I had imagined myself sleeping with him even without a chick. I had fantasized about it before. Many times.
It just suddenly didn’t feel right to be with him, or anyone, really… not without Rain.
“I really do like pussy, though, man,” I shrugged. “What we’ve done… that’s some wild shit and I got off on it like crazy, but there’s nothing quite like sinking into the warm, silky wetness of a woman’s body.”
Cole shrugged. “Pussy is great. Don’t get me wrong. I love pussy, too. Honestly, though, I think I prefer dick and ass. Pussy has too much give. I like it to hurt a bit.” He paused and narrows his gaze at me. “And you kinda get off on pain, yourself. I remember.”
Yeah, I remembered, too. His eyes glittered a deep, dark green, and I could almost feel him biting into my skin as he pounded my ass. It had felt amazing. Feral and raw.
But Rain’s sweet sighs sounded in my dreams. Just the thought of her silky depths, especially now that I’d had her bareback, made me hard as granite.
What a strange turn of events for me. I never had second thoughts about sex. Wherever… whenever… whoever. None of it had ever really mattered. I’d been a whore forever, born into it with my dad’s DNA. For a split second, I wondered if he’d ever felt like this about my mom. About anyone. If he’d ever been tempted, but resistant.
If he’d ever felt anything real.
I suddenly felt a little ill. I needed to escape. To get away from Cole and the dire dread that swelled in my throat.
“I need to hit the road, man,” I said, standing and sucking down the last of my beer. “I’ve got some shit to do. Talk to you later.”
His gaze remained impassive, but the light dimmed. Hardened. Warily, I dipped my chin in parting and headed out to my truck. I felt strange and unsettled.
And I went straight to Rain’s.
“Justin?” Rain gasped when she answered my knock, glancing around nervously before she quickly pulled me inside her apartment and closed the door behind me. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not sure exactly,” I replied. I took a few steps across her small living room before I turned back to face her. “I just saw Cole.”
She froze momentarily, but recovered so quickly it was almost unnoticeable. Almost. “You just saw Cole… like saw him ‘saw him’ or did him ‘saw him.’”
Jesus, this was suddenly getting complicated. Both of them were starting to show signs of envy. When this all began, they had both kinda wanted each other, too, but now they each seemed to be focusing more on me. Almost like they were fighting over me.
“He thinks I’m gay,” I blurted out.
Rain pondered that momentarily before responding. “What do you think?”
I just frowned. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know the right answer. I didn’t want to say some dick thing.
“Have you slept with just him? Like without a girl?” Her voice was a little small, but she was clearly trying not to sound affected. “Without me?”
“No. Not before you, and not since without you,” I replied, unsure what else to say. I hadn’t. Yet for some reason, I continued to talk. Rain wasn’t one I felt like I could lie to. I felt the strange compulsion to be forthright and upfront. “But I’ve thought about it.” Then glanced at her nervously. Her face revealed a tiny touch of her own insecurity. “Do you think I’m gay?”
Her eyebrows came together thoughtfully. “Well,” she started slowly, “I guess, I don’t really know. I’m not exactly in your head, so I only know what you tell me. It would be an awful shame if you were, though.”
Okay, that wasn’t helping. I hadn’t the faintest fucking idea what she was talking about.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you’re really fucking good with pussy.” Her voice almost shook with emphasis. The air began to thicken around us.
Just like that, I felt incredibly better. My uncertainty vanished in the beat of a heart. Her words soaked through me, mending the cracks of doubt in my mind, leaving a warmth that brought cocky Justin back out into the mix.
“I am, huh?” I grinned as my ego levels began to return to normal.
“You are,” she nodded as a warm flush began to warm her skin. Her breathing hitched just a bit as I stared at her, as I took a step towards her, and then another.
“Tell me more,” I hoarsely ordered. I was so close now, I could feel the heat radiating from her body. I could feel the wisp of her breathlessness on my skin.
“The details are a little fuzzy,” she murmured, “but I remember you fucking me into unconsciousness once. La petite mort. Nobody’s ever done that to me before.”
“Scared the shit out of me,” I recalled, with a tinge of guilt tightening in my chest.
“It’s something about the way you hold me sometimes,” she said softly, “tight up against your chest. So tight I can barely draw a breath.”
“Jesus, I’m probably asphyxiating you,” I realized, a little startled. I hadn’t realized a correlation, but now that I thought about it… fuck. That could really hurt her.
“It’s beautiful. Unbelievable. I’m feeling a little lightheaded just thinking about it.”
“You know, I’m kind of a freak. You shouldn’t say shit like that to me.” I murmured. My lips
were a whisper away from hers. As sick and twisted as it was, my dick was raging. I suddenly wanted to fuck her into next week.
“Does it make you want to do it again?” she asked.
“A little,” I murmured, surprising myself. “Do you think about stuff like that often?”
“All the time. That’s why I fucked up so bad on that last test. Over the past couple weeks, the whole time you were lecturing—the whole time you were preparing us for it—all I could do was think about your thick, hard cock inside me.”
“Jesus, Rain,” I moaned, and swept in to capture her lips.
And just like that, we were off to the races, fucking like animals on the couch.
“Hold me tighter,” she breathed.
“Fuck, Rain,” I moaned, “I don’t want to hurt you."
“Please,” she begged, kissing me deep and curling her body tight up against mine. “Please, Justin…”
Fuck, the way she pleaded. It fucking killed. I knew I shouldn’t, but, God…
“Please…”
I clutched her closer, gingerly at first. Trepidation rocked me to the core.
“Tighter…” she whispered. “Harder…”
She begged so beautifully. I was scared shitless, but her pussy really made me do some crazy-ass shit.
And I did as she wanted. I fucked her harder and held her tighter. Everything got rougher and wilder until I was barely hanging on by a thread. It was intense. Insane. Her hoarse pleas became more and more fervent until her pussy suddenly pulsed around me, drenching my dick.
And then Rain’s eyes rolled back as she began to go limp in my arms.
I immediately relaxed my hold as a surge of panic ripped through me. I lowered her to the couch, my throbbing cock painfully hard and still buried balls deep.
Jesus. Fucking hell.
I placed tender kisses over her eyes and stroked my fingers lightly down her cheek.
“Shit, Rain,” I gasped.
She was barely out a split second before her lashes fluttered and slowly opened, blinking once and then twice.
“You did it again,” she whispered with a lethargic smile.
“Just call me Britney, bitch,” I choked out, a bad joke in an attempt to cover the pure overpowering panic I felt at it all.
Her breathless laughter squeezed her pussy tight around me, and I moaned a little. She bit her lip at the sound and gingerly urged me to roll to my back, then rose up over me, swaying slightly as she slid back down on my cock. Her body stilled momentarily as another wave of bliss coursed through her. As she gathered herself to move. As she worked me over so well, exactly how I needed her to.
The truth was, I felt a bit vulnerable after going all Neanderthal-ish. I felt like I’d turned into the fucking Hulk and was almost afraid to touch her for fear she’d pass out on me again.
So I gave her the reins. I gave her complete power over me, something I’d never done before with anyone.
At first, it was genuinely terrifying. The how and why of it all—how did she do this to me and why her—had me freaking the fuck out for a second.
Then she arched back, her hands behind her head to lift her hair. So fucking beautiful with her hips circling gently. The soft bounce of her breasts. Suddenly, the how and why didn’t matter. Everything about her spoke to me on some molecular level and seemed entirely too right and real. All my senses tuned to her—the taste of her kiss, the touch of her skin, the scent of her arousal, the sound of her gasp, and the vision of her entire being. She overwhelmed me with her allure as the aftershocks of her orgasm rippled through her, drawing the cum up out of me like a fucking geyser.
And when I’d shot off like Old Faithful and the waves of ecstasy finally stopped, she curled up against my chest, pulled a blanket over our naked bodies, and fell fast asleep in my arms.
As I held her, a lump developed in my throat. A new, foreign sensation took root in my chest.
I was lost.
I was hers.
I saw my life flash before my eyes and it terrified me. It was full of her. Her smile and the way she’d gaze up at me in class. Flashes from the past that morphed into the future. Hunger burning as she watched me on stage. I saw her in white, standing before me whispering vows. I saw her crying tears of pure joy as she held our first child. I saw her crawling across the bed—our bed—in a slinky little number that rocked my world.
I saw everything, realizing I hoped it was true and real and forthcoming. Everything I wanted that I never knew I wanted. What my friends had found and treasured. What made me ache and burn.
Swirling images chaotically raged through my mind, and I shifted back a touch to look down at her. Her lashes lay thick against her cheeks.
With every fiber of my being, I knew I would never feel this way with anyone else.
I was a fucking goner.
It was my fault that things went to hell.
Cole, Rain, and I were playing on a Saturday afternoon. I was taking it to her from behind while she gave Cole head, and he twisted around to sixty-nine her. This gave him a front-row seat to my dick ramming into her, and he moved his mouth from her to my balls, stroking them with his tongue.
That did it.
I shot off inside her, pumping a few last vinegar strokes as she milked me dry and Cole laved his tongue along our connection. He pulled me free and started to suck me into his mouth.
Suddenly, he pushed Rain off him, and sat up. His eyes fluttered dangerously. A little hot, but kinda scary like in a not-so-hot way.
“You son-of-a-bitch,” he growled at me.
Rain and I, both trying to come down from the orgasmic high, stared at him.
“What?” I asked.
“You just fucked her without a rubber.”
Oh shit.
It had been a few weeks since we’d seen Cole. He’d been out of town for work. In that time, we had fucked like rabbits, never once using a condom.
I didn’t even think about it today. I had just slipped inside her.
“I can’t believe you,” he snarled.
“Cole—” Rain started, but he pointed at her.
“You shut the fuck up.”
“Cole—” I growled, moving in front of Rain protectively. I did not like him taking that tone with her.
“You cocksucker,” he interrupted. “How long have you guys been fucking bare?”
“Just calm—” I tried again.
“How long?” he shouted.
“A month or so,” I finally admitted. “Right about the time Brannon and Sophie had their kid.”
Cole kept up his tirade and stormed over to his clothes. “You’ve been fucking hiding it from me.”
“We didn’t know how to tell you,” Rain quietly said, but he ignored her as he pulled on his jeans, still fuming.
I grabbed mine, too, tugging them on, yet leaving them unbuttoned, as Rain grabbed a blanket to wrap around her naked body.
“You still used them with me. Both of you fuckers have still been using them with me.”
Which was true. We hadn’t reached the point with him that we felt comfortable going without.
“Cole, wait—” Rain began.
“You shut the fuck up. This is between Justin and me.”
“What?” I interjected. “How is she not a part of this conversation?”
“She’s a fucktoy,” he shot back. “She’s just like all the other sluts you’ve banged over the years.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” I shouted, closing in on him where he stood there belligerently fuming back at me. “You know it’s more than that.”
“So I’m the fucktoy then," he spat. “Is that it? Someone for you to get your homo rocks off with. Yet you bring a girl into the mix so you don’t have to come to terms with your true sexuality.”
“I have never lied about my sexuality, to you or anyone.”
“So how much do your friends know? How much does your band know?” He glared at me, his green eyes glowing with rage. “Do
your buddies know that you’ve been fucking me up the ass for the last couple months?”
“Stop it, you two,” Rain said, pushing in between us. “You guys are way too upset, so let’s just calm down and—”
“Bitch, stay the fuck out of this!” Cole snarled, shoving her back against the wall with a firm grip squeezing her throat.
I went fucking mental when he touched her.
I flew at him, spearing him in the gut with my shoulder and driving him to the ground. I managed to land two good solid punches before he recovered enough to fight back, and Rain screamed as he wedged enough resistance under me to break free from my grip.
He and I circled each other like animals, crashing together in a rush of fists and curses. Our sizes were pretty evenly matched, and we fought for what seemed like forever, slamming into walls and knocking over furniture. Eventually, worn and bruised, I threw him across the room. He stood and stared at me, eyeing the nearby door and spat a thick stream of blood and saliva onto the floor.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I growled.
“Gladly,” he snarled as he grabbed on his coat, “you two fucking enjoy each other. I’m am so done.”
It only got worse.
I had just gotten done advising a student and was running late for my own class. Just before I turned away from my computer, I saw an email from Glenn, the head of my program.
Come see me before Transient Pressure Analysis class.
Shit, I thought. Sorry, Glenn, no time. It’ll have to be after class.
I buzzed through the hallways, but stopped short when I came around the corner and saw Glenn standing in front of the classroom door. He was looking inside at John, my PA, who appeared to be lecturing from my notes.
My gut twisted with dread.
“We need to go talk to Dave,” Glenn said.
Dave Franklin. The Provost.
Oh shit…
When we arrived at Dave’s office, he was sternly looking at his computer with no small amount of disgust marring his expression. He glanced up at me in the doorway.
“Come on in, Professor Dorsey. We have a little bit of an issue.”
Hot Dirty Love (Copperline #5) Page 13