birth of third child and, 149
childhood music studies of, 141
children’s reaction to divorce of, 157
Communists’ arrest of, 115–19
Communists’ harassment of, 109, 110, 111
courtship letters to Edith from, 97–98, 163
decision to immigrate to America with Edith by, 130
desire for new relationship with Edith after divorce, 167–68
earlier romantic relationships of, 93, 95–96, 100
early married life in Eger mansion in Prešov, 103–5
Edith’s decision to divorce, 158–59, 162, 163
Edith’s decision to immigrate to America and, 125, 130, 140
Edith’s decision to marry, 99–100
Edith’s feeling of love for, 96, 99, 118, 160
Edith’s pregnancy and birth of first child and, 104–5, 107, 108
Edith’s return to Auschwitz and, 221–22, 227, 228, 233
Edith’s survivor past and family life and, 151, 153–54
Edith’s trip to Berchtesgaden and, 204–5, 208, 209–10
El Paso move and, 145–46
escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia by, 118–21
family background of, 98–99
family life in El Paso and, 149, 150, 155
first American job of, 137, 140, 142
first marriage to a gentile woman by, 96, 99
initial meeting with Edith, 93
Israel immigration plans of, 111–13, 122, 123–24, 125
marriage and honeymoon with Edith, 101–2
Marianne’s childhood pneumonia and, 109–10
refuge stay in Vienna and, 121–25
second marriage with Edith, 168
son’s challenges and, 152–53
struggles adjusting to life in Baltimore and, 137–38
stutter of, 94, 98, 102, 137, 144
TB hospital stay of, 95–96, 124, 130–31
TB recurrence in Baltimore and, 140–41
trip to Israel with Edith, 173
trip to TB hospital with Edith, 94
wartime escape from Nazis by, 98–99
Eger, Bob, 145, 148
Eger, Dickie (Richard), 148–49
Eger, Duci, 137, 143
Eger, Dr. Edith Eva
childhood, 12–33
ballet training during, 16, 18, 21, 37, 139, 159, 187
expulsion from Olympic gymnastics training team during, 23–25, 82
family’s use of identifying phrase for Edith, 188
father’s forced labor camp imprisonment during, 22–23
first romance with Eric during, 21–22, 23, 30, 31, 32, 33, 63
Hungarian Jewish background of, 19–20
imprisonment in Jakab brick factory camp during, 31–33
last moment together with sister and mother, 11
memories of parents and sisters during, 12–27
parents’ decision not to flee Hungary and, 27
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment, 29–31
train transport to and arrival at Auschwitz, 33–35
yellow star wearing in, 21
WORLD WAR II EXPERIENCES, 34–69. See also Auschwitz concentration camp; forced march through Germany; Gunskirchen Lager concentration camp; Mauthausen concentration camp
Edith’s thoughts about her legacy from, 205–6
learning American music and dances during recovery after, 77–78, 79
physical recovery in Wels, Austria, 73–79
psychological recovery after, 79
questioning reasons for survival after, 17, 19, 88
rescue of, at Gunskirchen concentration camp, 68–69
POSTWAR LIFE IN KOŠICE, 80–100
learning of Eric’s death, 92
reclaiming family piano, 89, 105
return to Košice, 85–92, 96–100
reunion with Klara, 85–88
TB hospital stay, 92–96
train journey home after recovery, 80–83
MARRIED LIFE IN PREŠOV
Béla’s arrest by Communists, 115–20
Béla’s escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia, 118–21
clothing factory work, 133
decision to marry Béla, 99–100
early married life of luxury in Eger mansion, 103–5
Klara’s proposed move to Australia, 105–6, 123
love for Béla, 96, 99, 118, 160
marriage and honeymoon with Béla, 101–2
Marianne’s childhood pneumonia, 109–10
pregnancy and birth of first child, 102–3, 104–5, 107–8
IMMIGRATION
American immigration papers secured by Béla, 112–13, 116, 122–23, 124, 145
Béla’s decision to immigrate to America, 130
Edith’s decision to immigrate to America, 125, 130, 140
Israel immigration plans, 111–13, 122, 123–24, 125
refuge stay in Vienna and, 121–25
LIFE IN AMERICA
arrival in New York City, 129–31
Béla’s desire for relationship after divorce, 167–68
birth of second child, 143–44
birth of third child, 149
children’s reaction to divorce, 157
daily family life rituals, 151–52
divorce decision, 158–59, 162, 163
Edith’s college studies, 152, 154, 163, 159–60, 170, 179
El Paso move, 145–46
first grandchild, 190
hunger for self, 158–59
second marriage with Béla, 168
survivor past and family life, 149–50, 151–52, 153–54, 166
taking responsibility for oneself, 204
PROFESSIONAL WORK
address to returning army veterans, 271–72
address to military chaplains in Berchtesgaden, Germany, 201, 207–20
Agnes and breast cancer diagnosis, 191–96
Beatrice’s loss of childhood and panic attacks, 255–62
California licensure, 179–80
Capt. Jason Fuller’s anger and catatonic state, 3–5, 195–201, 238–39
Carlos’s anxiety at college, 251–55
colonel’s family problems, 213–18
dissertation on survivors, 173–74, 176
Elise’s despair in a relationship, 246–479
Emma and eating disorder treatment, 182–90
establishment of private practice, 181
first patient in private practice, 181
Jim and Ling’s marriage problems, 239–45
mentors in, 170–73
need to establish new relationship with own trauma for success in, 181–82
older woman’s experience of grief over mother, 218–20
parents after a child’s suicide, 263–67
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) treatment, 7, 135, 203
teaching career in El Paso, 164, 165–66, 169
Vietnam veterans in treatment, 177–78, 216, 224–25
William Beaumont Army Medical Center work and, 176–77, 179, 201
Eger, George, 98, 101, 133–34, 137, 143, 145
Eger, John “Johnny” (son)
birth of, 149
childhood of, 165, 167
college graduation of, 179
Edith’s support for, 152–53, 154, 155, 162
parents’ divorce and, 157, 163
Eger, Marianne (daughter), 176
arrival in New York City by, 129, 131
birth of, 107–8
childhood in Baltimore of, 136–38
family life in El Paso and, 146, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 154
father’s arrest by Communists and, 115, 117–18
father’s escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia and, 118–21
Hanukkah party attendance by, 136–37
infancy pneumonia of, 109–10
marriage and family of, 176, 190
mother’s adul
t relationship with, 167, 176
mother’s early teaching relationship with, 116–17
mother’s later return to Auschwitz and, 203–4, 221, 222
mother’s survivor past and, 151–52, 153–54, 166
mother’s trip to Berchtesgaden and, 203, 204
move to El Paso and, 145, 146, 148, 149
naming of, 108
refuge stay in Vienna and, 122, 123, 124, 125
sister’s birth and, 144
Eichmann, Adolf, 207
Elefánt, Ilona (mother)
advice on marriage from, 91
calling on memories of, during concentration camp experiences, 42, 43, 45, 52–53, 63, 66
daughters’ separation from, upon arrival at Auschwitz, 35–36, 37
decision not to flee Hungary by, 27
Edith’s childhood memories of, 12–13, 17–18, 19–20, 22, 25–26, 62, 106–7, 148
Edith’s divorce and experiences of, 158
Edith’s immigration papers for America and thoughts about, 122, 124
Edith’s later life and memories of separation from, 175, 229–31
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and memories of, 221, 229–32
German occupation of Hungary and, 20–21, 22
goodbye letter to Klara from, 33, 86–87
granddaughter named after, 144
Hungarian Jewish background of, 19–20
husband’s forced labor camp imprisonment and, 22–23
loss and death of, during war, 36, 41, 62, 64, 80, 81, 106, 160, 205, 269
marriage of, 13, 158, 265
memory of last moment together, in line at Auschwitz, 11, 35, 61, 229, 231
mother’s death during childhood of, 13, 15, 205, 265, 266
portrait of mother of, 15, 52, 266, 267
postwar recovery and memories of, 69, 75, 88, 97
practicality and hope of, 29–30, 106–7
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 29–30, 31, 75
train transport to Auschwitz and, 33–34
warning about Germany ignored by, 26–27
Elefánt, Klara (sister). See Korda, Klara
Elefánt, Lajos (father)
arrival at Auschwitz and, 34–35
calling on memories of, during concentration camp experiences, 38, 42, 43, 57, 66, 68
decision not to flee Hungary by, 27
Edith’s childhood memories of, 13–14, 17, 18, 20, 21, 23, 25, 27
forced labor camp imprisonment of, 22–23
German occupation of Hungary and, 20–21, 22
goodbye letter to Klara from, 33, 86–87
Hungarian Jewish background of, 19–20
loss and death of, during war, 80
love of sweets by, 13, 66, 68, 69
Magda’s learning of tailoring skills from, 140
separation from children at Auschwitz, 35
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 29, 31, 75
train transport to and arrival at Auschwitz and, 33, 34–35
warning about Germany ignored by, 26–27
World War I service of, 21
Elefánt, Magda (sister). See Gilbert, Magda Elefánt
Elefánt. Matilda (aunt). See Spitzer, Matilda
Ellis, Albert, 170, 171, 172, 173
El Paso, Texas
daily family life rituals in, 151–52
Edith’s teaching career in, 164, 165–66, 169
Eger family’s move to, 145–47
Laci Gladstein’s (later Larry Goldstone) move to, 96, 106, 147
third child born in, 149
Engle, Lindsey, 190
Engle, Marianne. See Eger, Marianne
Engle, Rob, 176
Eric (childhood friend of Edith)
feeling of loss associated with later memories of, 154, 155, 205
first romance with, 21–22, 23, 30, 31, 32, 33, 63, 95, 96–97, 111, 160
learning of death of, 92
memories of, in concentration camps, 44–45, 47, 59, 63
postwar fantasies about reunion with, 80, 81, 90–91, 92
family
anger at partner’s infidelity in marriage and impact on, 196–200
eating disorder treatment of child and, 182–90
establishing constitution of rules in, 189
parents’ use of identifying phrases for children in, 188
Farson, Richard, 170, 173–74
flashback responses
Edith’s experience of, 135, 204, 237, 272
food as trigger for, 256
patient’s fear of, 256
as reaction to trauma, 135–36
forced march through Germany, 49–60
arrival at Mauthausen concentration camp during, 60
attempted escape with Magda from train during, 51
as boxcar decoys on ammunition trains, 50–52, 208–9
bombing of ammunition factory during, 53–54, 107
calling on memories of mother during, 52–53
connection between Edith and Magda during, 48, 51, 52, 53–54, 106, 107
crossing into Austria during, 59
death of prisoners during, 52
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and memories of, 222
food fantasies and desires during, 50, 51, 53
Magda’s attempt to steal food during, 52–53
Magda’s rebellion against soldiers and beating during, 59–60
revenge fantasy during, 54
soldier’s gift of bread during, 56–57
stealing carrots for Magda during, 54–56
thread factory work at beginning of, 49–50
forgiveness
chaplains’ work with soldiers on, 208
Edith’s experience of, 211, 218, 230
grief and grieving and need for, 212
lost childhood of patient and, 255, 257, 258
of oneself, 212, 231–32, 233
rage and, 258
survivors and, 174
Frankl, Viktor, 155–56, 159, 161–62, 169, 222, 237, 249
Freud, Sigmund, 32, 95
Gaby (doctor), 91, 92–93, 97
Gilbert, Magda Eléfant (sister)
attempted escape from train by, 51
attempt to steal potatoes by, 52–53
Auschwitz concentration camp experiences of, 37–39, 41, 43, 47, 48, 49
bombing of ammunition factory and, 53–54, 107
as boxcar decoys on ammunition trains, 50–52
connection between Edith and, in concentration camps, 37–39, 41, 47, 48, 51, 52, 53–54, 67, 69, 106, 107, 205
daughter of, 144, 267
Death March to Gunskirchen and, 64
decision to move to America by, 106–7, 111, 113
divorce of, 165
Edith’s arrival in New York City and, 129
Edith’s childhood memories of, 13, 14–15, 20, 25–26
Edith’s desire to be reunited with, in Baltimore, 140
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and, 221
Edith’s recovery in Košice and, 89, 96
Edith’s stealing of carrots for, 55–56, 57
Edith’s wedding and, 101
family’s use of identifying phrase for, 188
father’s forced labor camp imprisonment and, 23
forced march through Germany and, 52–53, 54–55, 59–60, 222
Gunskirchen concentration camp experiences of, 65–66, 67
Klara’s courtship and marriage and, 90, 96, 105
Klara’s proposed move to Australia and, 105–6
life in America and, 133, 140
marriage to Nat, 143, 144, 165
marriage to Ted, 165
Mauthausen concentration camp experiences of, 61, 62, 63–64
nightmares of, 267–68
postwar physical recovery in Wels, Austria, 73–75, 76–77, 78–79
rebellion against soldiers and beating of, 59–60
rescue of, at Gunskirchen, 68–69
<
br /> return to Košice and reunion with Klara, 85, 86, 88–89, 93
revenge fantasies of, 54, 78–79, 209
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 29, 30–31
thread factory work and, 50
train journey home after recovery, 80–83
train transport to Auschwitz and, 33–34
Gilbert, Ted, 165
Gladstein, Laci (later Larry Goldstone), 107
Edith’s early friendship with, 81–82, 83
Edith’s reunion with, 147–48
move to El Paso by, 96, 106, 147
talk with Edith about past, 211–12
Gone with the Wind (Mitchell), 12, 243
grief and grieving
denial and, 104
Edith and Béla’s marriage and unfinished, 101
Edith’s experience of, 94, 190–91, 206, 218, 232, 267
Edith’s mother’s childhood loss of her mother and, 205
Edith’s mother’s death and, 37, 92
Edith’s return to Auschwitz as rite of, 220, 232–33
Eric’s death and, 92
failed marriages and, 239, 256–57, 258
forgiveness and, 212
healing by choosing to let go of, 6, 263
lengthy mourning as impediment to process of, 266–67
loss of a child and, 8, 176
older woman’s experience of grief over mother, 218–20
parents after a child’s suicide and, 263–67
physiological manifestation of, 164
Vietnam veterans and, 224–25
for what happened and what didn’t happen, 190–91
Gunskirchen Lager concentration camp, Austria, 65–69
broken back at, 66
calling on memories of mother during, 66
connection between Edith and Magda during, 67, 69
Death March from Mauthausen to, 63–64, 80, 135
death of prisoners at, 65, 66
Edith’s rescue from, 68–69
food fantasies and desires during, 66–67, 68
liberation of, 67–69, 170
Magda’s flirting as escape at, 65–66
gymnastics
Edith’s training for, 23–25, 82
Edith’s reaction to Keleti’s performance in, 149–50
Hartmann, Ava, 103, 104, 105, 108
Hitler, Adolf, 74, 151
art student’s story about, 213
Béla on Edith’s approach to, 204–5
Edith’s rage at, 140, 143, 177
experience of forgiveness of, 211, 218
Final Solution and, 207
visit to Berchtesgaden retreat of, 201, 204, 207, 210–11, 212
Hitler Youth, 204, 209
Horthy, Miklós, 19–20, 47
Hungary
Horthy’s hold on deportation of Jews in, 47
imprisonment of Jews in Jakab brick factory camp in, 31–33
Jewish life in, before World War II, 19–20
Nazis in, during World War II, 20–21, 22, 47
The Choice Page 33