by H. M. Clarke
She found her eyes staring once again at the dark form of Adhamh.
Maybe what both Tayme and Adhamh say is true, that she is this Kalena Tsarland and a small part of her mind was inclined to agree with them. But if that was so, why could she not remember anything about them?
Surely seeing people so familiar with her would spark some kind of recognition in her. Surely it would, wouldn’t it?
Dearen thought on the feeling she felt when Adhamh spoke to her this afternoon, about how natural it felt to hear him. But Dearen did not recognize it or remember hearing it before.
The camp watchman moved into her view carrying a small storm lantern. The glint of the new light caught and flashed in the bright blue eyes of Adhamh, the black Hatar. Dearen could feel his gaze upon her, it had rarely left her all day. It was as if the Hatar was afraid to let her out of his sight. Which, if what Kral Tayme says it is true, is quite understandable.
If she was to be completely honest with herself. Dearen longed for it to be true. It would answer so many questions about her past and how she ended up where she was now. Dearen was desperate to have a past, but she also wanted to keep the future she now had. If she was a Hatar Kalar, she was not going back South. She was Cearc of the Dymarki. They accepted her for who she was and did not punish her for being different. If the bond was as strong between a Hatar and their bareskin partners, then this may cause problems for Adhamh. If he wants to stay south, then she will not be going with him. If he wants to come north with her…then they will need to see how Adhamh can be accommodated among the Dymarki.
Dearen flipped back to her other side and arranged the blankets back around her. She could still feel the Hatar’s gaze drilling into her back. She hunched her shoulders and closed her eyes.
She was going to sleep whether her body and mind like it or not.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Dearen awoke to the morning sounds of camp life.
Hauga was sitting beside her with his tail wrapped around the head of her bedroll. She sat up and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. The sun had not finished rising from behind the mountains and the camp was still covered in an eerie grey twilight.
‘Morning Hauga.’
‘Good morning Dearen.’
‘Anyone start breakfast yet?’
‘Someone has started some of that porridge mush that bareskins seem to like so much, but I’m going to stick to my jerky.’
‘Porridge mush huh. If it’s warm, I’m having some.’
Dearen then studied the camp around them and then looked to the conifer trees beyond.
‘I wonder why the snow hasn’t hit this part of the mountain range yet? It’s fallen everywhere else but not here.’
‘I don’t know, He of the West Winds could answer you, but our lore always states that the Northern approach to Daegourouf never received snow.’
‘Not that I’m complaining about not having snow here. It’s just odd.’
Hauga gave her one of his shrugs. It was one habit that frustrated Dearen about the Dymarki. If they could not explain it they simply did not worry about it.
‘Maybe the Pydarki mountain has a magic of its own.’
‘Maybe.’
Dearen sighed and gave Hauga an affectionate smile.
‘I’m going to see if that porridge is hot. I’ll be back.’
Hauga nodded as he retrieved some of his jerky from his bandolier pouches and started to munch on it.
Dearen served herself a thick bowl of porridge from the cook pot and came back to her bedroll to eat.
‘I think we need to head back today. The others need to know that the Arranians have not accepted our challenge to meet on Haten’s Field.’
‘I agree. Are you completely sure that your need to head north is gone?’
‘I’m sure.’
‘So does that mean that you were looking for Adhamh all along?’
‘The urge to head North did stop when I found him.’
‘Does that mean what they have been saying is true?’
‘Even if what they say is true Hauga. It does not change the present. I am Cearc. I am now Dymarki. I have the future of our people on my shoulders-‘
‘Our shoulders,’ Hauga cut in.
‘On our shoulders,’ Dearen agreed.
‘How are we going to leave? I don’t think Kral Tayme or Adhamh will let us go now that they have found you.’
‘They will have no choice in the matter. We go, or they will need to imprison us or kill us to stop us. If they do that then they will be breaking their word to us.’
‘Hmmmmm…’
Dearen placed her now empty bowl on the ground between them.
‘Should we go now while most of the camp is asleep?’
‘Adhamh is awake. He is still watching you.’
‘So we cannot leave unseen.’
‘No.’
“Good morning.”
Dearen started and turned back to see Kral Tayme standing behind them with his own bowl of porridge in his hands.
“Good Morning. Did you sleep well?” Dearen asked quickly to cover up her surprise.
“As well as I can under the circumstances,” he replied. Tayme then sat down on the ground beside her.
“What did the Lieutenant end up deciding on last night about the Arranians?” she asked. Dearen did not want to leave things open for him to talk to her about Kalena again.
“He is sending a small group of men up to the pass to see if there are any Suenese there waiting. If there are people there, and a Justicar is among them…” Tayme let his voice slide off, letting that implication sink in.
“I take it from the sound of your voice that you do not like these Justicars,” Dearen asked, thinking to use the question as a lead in to telling Tayme that Hauga and herself were leaving.
Tayme let out a small bark of laughter before using his hand to help wipe his smile away. “Ah, no. I’m not a supporter of the Justicars. Just as the Justicars are not fond of us Kalarthri.”
Tayme rubbed his thumb over the tattoo on his cheek, and then he looked hard at Dearen.
“You are thinking of leaving aren’t you.”
“No, of course-“ Dearen raised her eyebrows in mock surprise, and then dropped them. “How did you know?”
“Kalena, I’ve known you for so long that even now you are still easy for me to read. And I know you. It is something you would do.”
Dearen felt her jaw automatically clamp at the mention of the word Kalena and his casual reference to their supposed friendship. One she still could not remember.
“Yes. Hauga and I need to get back to the others. They will be missing us.”
She felt Hauga move beside her and from the corner of her eye, she could see the black tip of his tail twitching in annoyance.
“I still think you should come back to Fort Foxtern with us.
“I can’t do that Kral. I have to get back to my people.”
“But we are your people Kalena,” Tayme said thumping himself on the chest.
Dearen moved away from him at the vehemence in his voice. In her far sight, she saw Adhamh get up from his crouch and butt Trar awake. And after what could only be a quick conversation, Dearen heard Trar talk to Tayme.
‘Kral, Adhamh wants you to leave off for a bit. Don’t confuse her more than she already is.’
‘Really? He said that?’
‘Yes. And I agree with him.’
Dearen saw the Hatar Kalar frown before rubbing at his face with the palms of his hands and turning back to her.
“I and Trar were sent out by Wing Commander Harada and Colonel Oded to find you and bring you back. We can’t go back without you.”
“I’m not going back with you.”
“And we can’t go back without you,” Tayme stated again. “Which means that we’ll have to tag along with both you and Hauga until at least you can remember who you are.”
Dearen turned and looked at Hauga.
‘Hauga, they wan
t to come with us.’
‘So it seems. It would make your home coming more impressive if you appeared with two Hatar’le’margarten in tow and a southern bareskin.’
‘Maybe, or it might make things more difficult with Raga.’
‘He is only one clan. The others will support you.’
‘I know. But how do you feel about it?’
‘It doesn’t matter how I feel Dearen.’
‘It does to me. You’re my brother.’
‘I worry that this Kral Tayme will push you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.’
‘I won’t. Especially if I have you beside me watching my back.’
Dearen was pleased to see what passed for a grin come to the Dymarki’s face.
“You really want to come with us?” Dearen spoke aloud to Tayme but mind spoke the question to Adhamh and Trar as well.
“Commander Harada would do unspeakable things to me if I return without you. It’s safer for me if I stay with you.”
‘Now that I’ve found you, where you go, I go,’ was Adhamh’s answer.
‘What Kral said. What Harada would do to Kral, Samar would double it on me.’
“Okay then.” Dearen turned to Hauga.
“It looks like we are going to have quite a home coming.”
‘Yes, it does.’
“And we will be accompanying you until my company needs to turn onto Daegourouf.”
The trio nearly all jumped in surprise as Dalon Peana’s voice entered the conversation.
“You still think that Captain Vosloo has gone to Daegourouf?”
“I do.”
“You are not going to command me and Trar to stay with you?” Tayme asked surprised at this turn of events.
Lieutenant Peana shook his head. “Your search was never officially assigned to me in the first place. You are free to follow your original orders.”
Tayme gave Peana an appreciative nod.
“I’ve also sent five men to the pass. They are going to scout and observe, and if after five days they find nothing, they are to head back to Foxtern. If they find something, they are to head straight back and inform Colonel Oded himself of what is happening.”
“So, it looks like we are to be travelling companions for a little while longer.”
“Yes, it does.”
“You are not going to try and keep us with you?” Dearen asked the Lieutenant.
Delon Peana shook his head. “We gave you our word that we would not hold you, and you are also Hatar Kalar and you seem to have forged an alliance with the Ice Tigers.” Peana gave Hauga a nod of acknowledgement. “ And the Ice Tigers hold no love for the Arranians. I have no reason to hold either of you.”
“Fair enough.”
“Now that we have all decided on our travel plans, I think we should all have a decent breakfast and then break camp.”
“Agreed!” was the sentiment given by all present.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“You still don’t remember anything about me, do you?”
Tayme’s question caught Dearen by surprise. They had been walking quietly for the last half an hour and she did not even realize that the Kalar was walking just behind her. She thought he was flying with Trar and Adhamh.
“I have no memory of you past two days ago. I have no memory of Adhamh before we freed him. No matter how many times you ask me, that’s not going to change.”
“You never know, something might trigger your memories to come back. Maybe a smell, a sound, a situation, my annoying voice…”
“So your constant nagging is going to help me remember my past?”
“It might. Though you were usually the naggy, bullying one. I just tagged along to keep you out of trouble.”
‘He’s got you there Dearen.’ Hauga’s amused voice sounded through her mind.
‘I am not a bully.’
‘I think he meant it in a nice way. I most certainly did.’
“You don’t make this Kalena sound like a very nice person Kral Tayme,” Dearen said. She caught the smile that sprang to his lips and was echoed in his eyes.
“No. You weren’t,” he said with all seriousness.
Dearen could not believe what she had just heard. Was Kalena really that bad?
Tayme must have seen something of her feelings echoed on her face and he broke down with a full throated belly laugh.
“Wow. You really believed me,” Tayme said between large gulps of air as he tried to hold off his mirth.
“What do you expect you Hordus,” Dearen said and then instinctively punched Tayme hard in the arm.
“Ouch! That hurt.” Tayme rubbed hard at his wounded arm. “I see you haven’t forgotten how to do that then.”
Dearen gave him a curt smile, but inwardly her emotions were churning. She did remember hitting someone like that before. A lot. And it felt natural to her. But the people around her in the memory were all fuzzy and clouded as if there was something in her mind trying to stop her from seeing.
“No, you were, are, a very nice person Kalena. You are my best friend. The first Kalar I met after I underwent the Krytal. You might remember Holm Lunman, another close friend of ours.”
Dearen shook her head. The name held no meaning to her and nothing triggered out of her memory for it.
“What about Motta? He is Holm’s Hatar partner.”
Again Dearen shook her head. “Tayme, I don’t remember you, Trar, Adhamh or this Holm or Motta. If I am this Kalena person, there may be a chance that I will never remember any of you.”
‘That is true,’ Hauga agreed.
“But you need to come back, Harada and Prince Garrick need you. I need you.”
“The Dymarki need me more. They are my family, my friends. I don’t know you or Harada or Garrick.”
“Kalena…”
Dearen heard a loud rumble behind them then Hauga’s voice boomed in her head.
‘Leave her alone!’
She automatically stopped in her tracks and Tayme nearly collided with her. And then Tayme was shoved aside as Hauga pushed his way between them, a snarl on his face.
Tayme backed up with his hands held up. But the look on his face showed that he wasn’t going to back down.
“And just what are you concerned about cat? Are you worried that she might actually remember herself and come home with us?”
The rest of the column had stopped dead watching the situation intently with some men readying their swords just in case a fellow countryman needed help.
Hauga’s snarl hardened and a low rumble began deep in his chest as he stood ready to leap to Dearen’s defense.
‘She is our Cearc. She deserves respect. And she should not be hounded by people who know nothing about her and what she has done for her people.’
Hauga’s voice could be heard by anyone with Talent and Dearen caught a glimpse in the sky above them of Adhamh and Trar pulling an abrupt turn and returning back to them.
Though Tayme could not hear Hauga’s words, he must have guessed the meaning behind Hauga’s stance.
“I’ve known Kalena for longer than you have furball and I know exactly what she has given to defend her friends and family.” As he spoke, Tayme moved in closer to Hauga.
Hauga took a step closer to him at the same time, the hackles on his neck raised and bristling.
Tayme straightened and held his hands out, ready to attack.
The sight of the two would look comical if not for its seriousness, Dearen thought as she noted that Tayme’s head barely came up to Hauga’s shoulders.
‘The Cearc deserves respect no matter how well you know her. And Dearen has told you that she has only known you for a few days. Stop trying to force her to be who you want her to be.’
Dearen felt her emotions tremble at Hauga’s words. She now realized just how much anxiety and fear he had been hiding from her about losing her to her past. She raised a hand and placed it gently on his back.
‘Hauga…’
The Dymarki di
d not move, but she felt the muscles in his back relax slightly.
At that moment Adhamh and Trar landed on the path beside them and the black Hatar moved to push his head quickly between Tayme and Hauga.
‘Trar, tell Kral this,’ Dearen overheard Adhamh say quickly before either person could react.
‘Leave it be, no good will come of this if you and Hauga fight this out. And you shouldn’t be fighting at all. The fact is that Hauga is right. Kalena does not remember us and because of that has no reason to trust us. Actions like this do not help our cause.’
Tayme glared at Adhamh as Trar finished talking before giving him a nod.
“You’re right as always Adhamh. I think it best I ride with Trar for the rest of the day.”
‘I think that’s best Kral.’ Adhamh replied.
The Flyer quickly turned on his heel and stalked over to Trar who lowered herself to the ground to let him climb into the saddle.
Adhamh turned his flashing blue eye back to Hauga.
‘Let me talk to Kral Tayme. You have to understand that this is hard for him and myself. He also cannot hear you and therefore cannot understand your own pain.’
The Dymarki slowly relaxed his stance and the raised hackles on his neck disappeared.
‘Yes Adhamh, but if he tries to push her again I will not be more lenient.’
‘I understand Hauga. Kalena is my wingmate and she and Kral are, were, best friends. You need to give him some leeway.’
‘What leeway he had owing was given to him today. Talk to him if you must, but he must not upset the Cearc.’
Adhamh nodded to the Dymarki and then moved away towards Trar. Once the two Hatar had enough clearance, they both leapt up into the air and disappeared into the trees to reach the sky.
CHAPTER NINE
“Adhamh, why did you interfere? I might have made her remember.”
Adhamh turned a sapphire eye on Trar and Tayme as they flew together. He felt Trar open her mind and Adhamh used it to talk to her rider.