“Hi, Anne, nice to see you.”
“Hi, Your Honor, good to see you as well.”
Lourdes wants to chat. Anne had retired from the PD some time ago. She had a reputation as an exceptional trial lawyer, funny, and a helpful colleague. She’d resigned due to an ethics problem. Lourdes had only met her a few times. Lourdes wants to ask what she’s been doing, if she’s still with Jason, but doesn’t feel comfortable chatting in front of Anne’s client. Time to get on with business. “Let’s go into chambers.”
She points to two chairs which she’d positioned earlier so she can see both women and not be distracted by the court reporter.
“We’re on the record In the Matter of Meghan Morgan Kennedy. Present in chambers are Meghan Kennedy, a minor, her lawyer, Anne Levy, and Becca Olsen, my law clerk. Ms. Kennedy is requesting the court grant her petition to have an abortion. This hearing is on the record. The proceedings will be sealed.”
“Ms. Levy, why should I rule for your client?”
“First of all, Meghan will be almost eighteen when the baby is born. At that time she could get an abortion without the court’s intervention. She’s a junior at Prep.” Lourdes groans to herself. Prep is an exclusive day school that has almost a complete absence of Latinos, at least in her day. She wonders if there’s been any change. “She has no juvenile record. She’s traveled extensively with her school including to France and in the States with her friends.”
“Ms. Levy, I know travel is listed as a factor to measure maturity, but do you believe her travel is relevant?”
“The Legislature does,” Anne shrugs. “Meghan gets good grades and plans to go to college. She wants to be a journalist. Having a baby will put all that at risk. Her parents are Catholic and against abortion even in cases of rape. They have told her several times if she gets pregnant they will kick her out of the house.”
“Parents often say that,” Lourdes says, “but when it happens they’re supportive. Especially in today’s society since the stigma of being an unwed mother has lessened. Have you told your parents?”
“No, you don’t know them. They are very prominent in the community and all they care about is being seen in the right places. They would be mortified to have a pregnant daughter. A friend of my sister’s got pregnant and they wouldn’t let my sister have anything to do with her.”
“Have you ever had a job, Ms., may I call you Meghan?”
“Yes, I worked at my dad’s insurance office answering the phone last summer.”
“Your Honor, if I may, I’ve talked to Meghan at great length about her options. I’ve explained to her that if she wants to keep her baby she can do that without her parents’ help, and that if she has religious objections to abortion she could give up the baby for adoption. I believe she understands her options and is mature enough to pick the right one.”
“I think that’s my decision.”
Meghan Kennedy, prominent family. Is she the daughter of the mayor? Mayor Micah Kennedy is in his mid-forties. Has a couple daughters. Catholic. She’s seen him at the cathedral. She heard he and his wife go to Mass daily. She remembers one of the other mayoral candidates trashed Kennedy for sending his kids to private school. So what if she’s the daughter of the mayor? Lourdes would go out of her way to make sure a poor Latina got a fair shake. She has the same obligation to a rich Anglo.
“Have you informed the father of your child of your decision?” Lourdes asks.
Meghan looks at her lawyer.
“I’m sure you’re aware that a father has no say in this proceeding, Your Honor.”
“Of course I’m aware of that, Ms. Levy, but the statute says I can consider her conduct since being aware of the pregnancy.”
“Answer her, Meghan.”
“No, I haven’t,” Meghan says.
“Is there some reason you haven’t told him?”
“She can’t ask that,” Megan said to Anne. “Why is it her business?”
Hmmm, maybe she isn’t so mature.
“Can I have a minute with my client?”
“Of course. I’ll leave so you can have your privacy.” Lourdes walks out the door, signs some letters still at her secretary’s desk and goes back in. Meghan has been crying.
“Your Honor, I don’t know who the guy is. I was at a party, got drunk and I’m not sure.”
“Do you think someone spiked your drink or that you were raped?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.”
Lourdes doesn’t know how to respond.
“I’m not a slut.” Meghan says. “I want to go to college. I want to live in the dorm or with friends. I’m not ready to be a mom.”
“Have you considered how you’ll feel in ten years?”
“You mean about getting rid of it?”
“It’s not an ‘it.’ You’re talking about your child,” says Lourdes.
“In ten years, I’ll be twenty-seven. I’ll probably be a reporter traveling all over the world. I think I’ll feel fine. I don’t want it—I mean I don’t want a baby. A couple of my friends have had abortions and they don’t feel bad.”
Lourdes doesn’t know what else to ask nor is she 100% sure of what to do. Meghan hasn’t demonstrated a lot of maturity at times in this hearing. Once again she remembers what Bev said about taking matters under advisement. “I want to go over my notes. I realize the importance of making this decision quickly so I’ll rule before the end of the day.”
As if my notes will make this any easier.
TWENTY-TWO
Lourdes wonders if Bev’s free for lunch, but knows if they get together she’ll talk about the hearing. It’s not unethical to consult another judge. But Lourdes knows it’s time to make her own decisions. She’s a Judge.
Becca knocks. “I’m going to the bagel place to pick up lunch. Want anything?”
“No, I’m going for a walk. I’ll pick up something.” Lourdes takes off her shoes and puts on the sneakers she keeps in a gym bag in the bathroom. The weather’s warm, not hot, so she can wear the slacks and shirts she wore to work without worrying about sweating and feeling stinky the rest of the day.
Lourdes walks west away from downtown where she’s less likely to run into anyone she knows. Seeing Meghan in front of her makes the abortion debate more concrete. Meghan has a child inside of her. This isn’t a chat at Starbucks or debating the pros and cons. This child may be a great musician, a scientist, someone who will change the world. Does that matter? If the child grows up to work at a dry-cleaner, a day care facility or is a stay-at-home parent, is that less important?
Meghan seems to understand her options, but is she mature enough to decide what’s best? She’s spent seventeen years with her parents. They know her. Maybe they know what’s best for her no matter what she thinks. I’ve spent less than an hour with her. Parents. Why does she have to be the mayor’s daughter? Maybe Meghan’s parents won’t find out, but she can tell anyone she pleases. Lourdes, Becca and Anne are the ones bound by confidentiality. What if Meghan tells her parents about the abortion? Lourdes can imagine her blurting it out in an argument. What if her parents start a campaign to kick her off the bench. It happened to a judge in Phoenix. Pro-life forces went after her. If she’s an ethical judge, she needs to put that fear aside. Judges make decisions based on the law, not because someone will oppose or applaud her.
Lourdes thinks back to being sixteen, seventeen. Everyone regrets decisions they made. Lourdes never got drunk and slept with some guy. She’s never slept with anyone but Carlos, but she could have gotten pregnant. She might have considered an abortion.
Meghan might regret the abortion later, but there’s no way she or Lourdes can know that. Maybe she’d regret it if she doesn’t abort the child. Maybe if I don’t grant it, she’ll go to some quack who will botch the surgery so she can never have kids. Or worse she’ll bleed to death.
And then there’s Carlos. She’ll have to tell him what she decides. She wishes he’d never brought up the fathers’ feelings and their lack of power. Men didn’t have to go through pregnancy. Put their careers on hold.
Does Meghan truly not know who the father is, or just not want him involved? Does it matter? If she’s promiscuous-what a judgment laden word-it doesn’t change a thing.
She’s glad the decision needs to be made now. She doesn’t want to spend days debating the pros and cons. She needs to get out more. It’s nice to feel the breeze and look around. Only a few blocks from the courthouse there are restored old mansions that transitioned to wedding and party venues, flower gardens, and barrio homes with mesquite fences and political signs.
Lourdes sees a food truck advertising Peruvian fusion. She’s not sure what that is, but it smells fantastic. She orders a chicken mole plate and sits down at a picnic table. Too much food, she thinks, until she has a couple bites. It’s delicious. Not like Mexican mole, no hint of chocolate, maybe pumpkin. She eats it all.
She knows what she’s going to do.
When she gets back to chambers she asks Becca to come in. “Have you decided?” Becca asks, “I’ve been thinking about it since the hearing.”
“Any thoughts you want to share?” Lourdes asks.
“I should tell you I’m pro-choice. A supporter of Planned Parenthood.”
“I’m not surprised. Anything you want to say about Meghan?”
“She seemed snotty. Spoiled. It’s probably not relevant, but she didn’t seem ready to be a mom.”
“No, she doesn’t seem ready nor want a child. But the statute doesn’t address that. It just requires maturity. I’ve been pondering what mature means in relation to the statute. I decided to assess her maturity against other teens. I’d feel better if she’d talked to her parents.”
“I remember how hard it is at that age to talk to your parents about anything. ‘Hey, Mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know who the dad is,’’’ Becca says. “That would go over well.”
“I can’t talk to mine about much now,” Lourdes says.
“I had a friend in high school who had prominent parents,” says Becca. “She got pregnant senior year by her long-term boyfriend. Both were ambivalent about a baby. When her parents found out, they whisked her away for an abortion. It ruined her life for a time. Her boyfriend didn’t believe her folks forced the abortion and broke up with her. She was angry at her parents for years, decades. She had a couple of scholarships, but she dropped out.”
“Sounds horrible. Do you know what happened to her?”
“She ran into her old boyfriend at a reunion. He was divorced, no kids. They got married, adopted two kids. By then she’d gone back to school. She was a nurse, working on her PA certification.”
Becca adds nothing else and doesn’t change Lourdes’ mind.
“Remember, Becca, you can’t tell anyone about this. Not even people outside the courthouse.”
“I understand. I’d never tell.”
“ Please get Anne on the phone.”
“Line 2.”
“I decided to grant the abortion.”
TWENTY-THREE
She wishes she could talk to someone about Carlos. Not her mom or dad. They wouldn’t understand. If she says anything negative about Carlos her dad would never forget. She doesn’t want that. She wants them to care about him. Molly’s no help. She’s rarely in a relationship long enough to face the problems Lourdes has. There’s Bev. She’d probably understand how Lourdes feels, but their friendship’s too new. She doesn’t want Bev to think she can’t handle her marriage or that she’s a wimp. Her friends go to counselors, but she hates the thought of talking to a stranger. That’s for Anglos.
Tacos for dinner. Her go-to meal. She always keeps on hand the ingredients so all she has to do is defrost or buy meat. She stops at the market to pick up a pound of hamburger, adds toilet paper, two packages of Eggo waffles, maple syrup. Hamburger turns into $42.50.
As she undresses, she checks her slacks for spots and gives her shirt a quick smell check. Time to go to the dry-cleaner. She slips on a pair of denim capris and a pink top with lace at the throat and sleeves. She takes off all her jewelry except the new earrings from Carlos and of course, her wedding ring.
A pot of cooked beans is in the fridge. Mash them and add seasoning. While she grates cheese and lettuce, chops onions, tomatoes and green chilis she ponders her tactics for questions from Carlos.
He’d texted, see you @ 6:30. Plenty of time. By the time Carlos arrives the table is set and the food ready.
“Hi, Lourdes, I gotta get out of these clothes and take a quick shower. We had an emergency drill. I got all muddy doing a fake rescue.”
“Okay, dinner’s ready when you are.”
Lourdes turns on Pandora to a country-western station and sits on the couch. She thinks about catching up on some reading, but doesn’t have the energy to get up. Her thoughts turn to Molly. She hasn’t had a moment to touch base with her. She’ll see her Saturday. She hopes Jack’s concerns are unfounded.
Carlos showers and changes and the two sit down at the table. He shovels food into his mouth. “Didn’t you eat lunch?”
“Not really. The drill was right before lunch and I didn’t have much free time in the afternoon. Basically I had a couple candy bars.”
“That’s horrible. No wonder you’re hungry.”
“Not for long. These tacos are delicious.”
Lourdes asks everything she can think of about the emergency drill. She starts asking questions to kill time, (full, he’ll be in a better mood), but realizes she may have underestimated his job. It’s more than a rent-a-cop.
Carlos helps clean-up. He suggests they watch a movie. Maybe he’s forgotten.
Maybe he had, but he turns on the news and the scroll underneath reads: Supreme Court rules Oklahoma’s abortion bill unconstitutional.
“See that?” Carlos says. “The Supreme Court overturned Oklahoma’s abortion law.”
“Yeah, I saw.”
“Did you have that abortion hearing?”
“Yeah. I did. It was tough.”
“Tell me about it.”
“The girl who wants the termination is almost 18. She doesn’t think she has the ability to parent a child. She wants to go to college and live in the dorm. She wouldn’t make a great mother.”
“What about the father?”
“She says she doesn’t know who the father is.”
“Do you believe her?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re letting a slut kill her baby.”
“That’s a horrible word, but that has nothing to do with whether she keeps the baby.”
“It should. I suppose then the father of the baby has no idea this is happening.”
“I don’t think so.”
“How could the law ignore the rights of a dad? If you ever had an abortion without my permission I’d be furious. If you ever had an abortion, I’d be furious.”
“I don’t make the laws, Carlos, I follow them. And, don’t worry, I’m not going to have an abortion.”
“If you feel that way, why don’t we start making a baby? It’s not like it’ll happen the first time we try.”
“It could. Happens to some people.”
“Well, if you want a baby, who cares?”
“I do, but not now. I’ve told you that. After I’ve been a judge a reasonable amount of time.” Lourdes is glad they’re arguing about having a baby instead of her ruling in the case. “It’s getting late. Why don’t we watch TV or have some dessert?” Lourdes gets up and walks back to the kitchen to see what they have. She’s not glad for long.
“Don’t try to change the subject. Did you rule?”
She looks in the fridge and the freezer. “Want an ice cream bar? I�
�m having one.”
“How about a beer?” Carlos says.
Lourdes decides to forego nagging about the beer and grabs an ice cream sandwich for herself and a can of Corona for Carlos. Maybe it’ll help his mood.
“So, how did you rule?”
“In her favor.”
“You mean you let her kill her baby.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because if I said no, she’d probably go to Mexico and maybe get a botched abortion.”
Lourdes doesn’t know what else to say. If she tells him about the prominent parents, he might be able to figure out who the family is. She’s already said too much. “Carlos, one of the requirements of my job is keeping things confidential. All I can say was the girl was mature enough to understand her options and make a decision.”
“Couldn’t you have another hearing and have the dad there?”
“No, the law doesn’t allow that. She may not know who the dad is or where he is. Even if I could, the decision to allow the abortion has to be made quickly. There’s only a short period of time that it’s both legal and medically sound.”
“What’s a couple days in a kid’s life?”
Carlos walks into the kitchen and grabs another beer. Lourdes thinks he must have chugged the first one to be finished so fast.
“Come on lets watch television,” Lourdes says.
“I don’t feel like it.”
“You always want to watch TV. We can talk later.” Carlos says nothing. “I know you’re upset, Carlos, but I did what I felt was right.”
“Did you have an abortion when I was in Afghanistan?”
“Of course not.”
“What about in college when you dumped me for that Anglo guy?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Carlos. I went out with him a few times. We never had sex.”
“How can I believe you?”
“How can you not?” Lourdes says.
Carlos doesn’t answer.
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