by Natalie Ann
“Did you tell him to leave you alone?”
“No. I ignored him. I felt he was baiting me. I didn’t want to waste my time nor did I have the energy to deal with it.”
“Have you told Landon?” her mother asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“No. I just figured ignoring it would be enough.”
“But I get the feeling something else has happened.” Her mother topped both their wine glasses off.
“He’s sent me a few texts. Same thing. Misses me. Apologizing. Said he threw the best thing he had away. I wanted to change my number, but then I’d have to tell Landon why. On top of that, Steve knows where I work. It’s not like he can’t find me.”
“Why haven’t you said anything to Landon about this?”
“Because he doesn’t need this in his life.”
“Ah. You can complain that you don’t want a guy with complications or issues, but you don’t want anyone to know you’ve got them?”
Why hadn’t she ever realized her mother was this smart before? Probably because she was so blinded by her wardrobe. Possession and superficial again.
“I guess.” She was afraid to admit Landon might leave her if he knew.
“It doesn’t sound like this is going to go away anytime soon. You really should mention it to Landon.”
“What is he going to do?” Kristen said.
“Lots of things. He can have a talk with Steve. You could tell Steve what Landon does for a living. Have you? My guess is you haven’t and the question is why.”
“I haven’t. I really hadn’t had a chance. I mean when I told him I was involved with someone, it didn’t come up with who and it was still somewhat new. Then I’ve ignored him since so I haven’t said a word to him.”
“The way I see it, you’ve got two choices. The next time he reaches out, because I’ve got a feeling he will, you tell him you’re dating a cop. A karate instructor. Someone who’d wipe his skinny little childish ass on the pavement if he looked at you funny again.”
Kristen laughed. “I wouldn’t say that no matter how much I want to.”
“Bummer. I would. I’d be glad to seek Steve out and tell him.”
“No. Stay out of it, Mom.”
“Then you’re next choice is to tell Landon what is going on. And the next time Steve contacts you, you let Landon know and see how he wants to handle it. I get the feeling he’s pretty reasonable and wouldn’t rush over there guns a blazing.”
“No, he wouldn’t.” She remembered him lecturing Chloe on how you have to learn to handle things without violence in life.
“So I think I’ve got all my dating advice out for the night. The next thing I’m going to ask you might tick you off though.”
“Great. What is that?”
“Have you talked to your father lately?”
Her mother never talked about her father anymore. His name stopped coming up years ago. “No. Not in months. Is something going on?”
“I often wonder if you are looking for so much out of men because you didn’t see much between your father and my marriage. That you’ve got this image in your head of what a mate should be, but you really don’t know.”
She’d never thought of it that way. “Dad seems happy enough with his new family.” With his perfect wife and family. A woman that acted right, looked right. Someone her father was thrilled to be seen with in public.
“And you’re bitter over that too,” her mother said. “You weren’t put first there even though your father always treated you well.”
She shrugged. “You two had your issues and I was in the middle.” Her father hated how her mother acted and dressed. He always thought that her mother had problems and Kristen was determined to not let it show she had any in life. She didn’t need a man to watch out for her, protect her. She just wanted one that cared for her.
“Which was wrong of us, but common during a divorce. I probably should have apologized to you years ago. I should take some of the blame of why you are the way you are.”
“You can’t change the way you are any more than I can change the way I am,” she said.
“Exactly. Just remember that.”
Stable Family
On Valentine’s Day, Kristen was dealing with customer after customer. Last minute shoppers were rushing in hoping to make their sweethearts happy, and since it was filling her own pocket with commissions, she was more than thrilled over the busy day.
When she heard the bell go off again, she glanced up, her smile dropping from her face.
He wouldn’t dare. Or she didn’t think he would, but damn it all. There was Steve coming forward with flowers and a grin. This was getting out of hand.
She called another employee over to cash her customer out and marched forward, pulling Steve to the side.
“What are you doing here?”
“I brought you flowers. You always complained I never gave them to you. I thought today was the perfect day for them.”
“I told you I was seeing someone. I told you I wasn’t interested. What part of that don’t you understand? I don’t think he’d be thrilled to know my ex is pursuing me.”
“So you haven’t told him,” Steve said. “Maybe because you aren’t as invested in him as you think and are considering taking me back.”
“Absolutely not,” she said firmly. “I haven’t told Landon because it hasn’t come up. I told you I wasn’t interested. Then you sent me flowers and texts and I haven’t responded back to you at all. Where do you think that means I’m interested in you again?”
“You always played games like that before. Whenever you were mad at me you’d ignore me. I thought it was the same thing.”
She didn’t remember any of what he was saying. When they fought or she was mad, sure she’d need a day or so to calm down, but not weeks. And she’d never ignored him completely, just told him she needed time to process thoughts more than anything.
“You’re living in some world where crazy people rule. I want no part of it. I will be telling Landon about you and you’d be wise to back off and stop. He’s a captain with the Saratoga Police Department.”
Steve started to laugh that laugh of his when he was going to be petty. “Really. You’re the one who hated violence so much. You couldn’t stand it when I was yelling at someone, let alone fighting, and you’re dating a cop. That’s rich!”
“Why are we having this conversation?” she asked. “Just leave.”
“This is a public place and I can be anywhere I want. Maybe I want to shop for some jewelry.”
She took a deep breath not wanting to cause a scene. “If you want to shop, then so be it, but I won’t be helping you.” She turned and walked away to deal with another customer.
Steve stood there for about two minutes, then turned and walked out. She’d never realized how unstable he was before now and knew she’d have to tell Landon what was going on.
***
Landon pulled the pork chops out of the oven and dumped the potatoes into the strainer, then dug around trying to find the masher.
It would have been more romantic to take Kristen out to dinner for Valentine’s Day, but he really couldn’t swing it. He didn’t feel right finding a sitter for Chloe, not to mention dealing with how busy it’d be out.
There were times he wished he could do better by Kristen.
That he could offer her more than he was.
They didn’t spend a lot of time together...just the two of them.
If Chloe wasn’t with them—like tonight—then they spent their time talking about Chloe.
He had been making more of an effort to take her to lunch at least once a week. They’d even snuck back to her place for a little bedroom action where they didn’t have to worry about having a kid in the house.
But lately, she’d been quiet and he was wondering if it was getting to be too much for her.
That all those talks they’d had about complications or commitment issues, things from her exes, were now slipping
into her mind about them.
He knew she held back saying what she wanted the other night. Maybe he should have pushed more. Thinking back, he realized he should have.
He didn’t want to pressure her though. Part of the reason he fell in love with her was because she never held back what she wanted to say.
So if she really wanted to the other night, she would have.
And tonight, well secretly, he wanted more nights like this. Things he’d never had before in his life.
A stable family.
Something he could give Chloe.
Maybe something he could give himself. Even Kristen.
Was it selfish of him to feel that way? To think that way? Probably.
He heard the front door open and then Chloe’s yelling, “Hi, Kristen. What do you have there?”
“Just a little something for you and Landon,” Kristen said.
“Uncle Landon is in the kitchen.”
He turned to see Kristen standing there grinning at him, Chloe fast on her heels. “Do you need some help with dinner?” she asked.
“I could always use some help. Chloe, why don’t you set the table.”
Kristen walked over to him, gave him a kiss on the cheek, then the lips. Her eyes seemed almost distant and he wasn’t sure what to make of that, but decided to push it off for now.
Once dinner was done and cleaned up, he handed Chloe a little gift bag and one to Kristen.
“I get a gift?” Chloe asked.
“Of course you do. We all get gifts today,” Kristen said.
“But I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never gotten a gift on Valentine’s Day before. Just the little cards in school and some candy.”
He didn’t need to be reminded of the time he and Chloe had spent addressing all those cards and attaching lollypops to them. He couldn’t remember doing stuff like that in school.
Chloe dug into her bag from him and pulled out a little teddy bear. She had her New York Giant teddy bear on her bed and he thought maybe he could add to her collection with one in a heart-covered diaper holding a bow and arrow.
She squealed and hugged it tight, then gave him a hug too.
Kristen’s gift bag had some nail polish and hair accessories in it for Chloe. She got the same response from Chloe and it just reminded him again how much he wanted this in his life.
He handed his gift bag to Kristen and watched while she opened it up and pulled out a small jewelry box. She flipped the lid and saw the amethyst drop earrings.
He was guessing she didn’t need to see the Hartman box to know where they came from. “Olivia made these,” she said. “They go with my ring.”
“Yeah,” he said. He’d gone to the store one day when she was off. He’d looked around and tried to find earrings that would match the big bold ring she had on more often than not.
“This is such a surprise. Thank you,” she said, standing up and walking over to him, then sitting in his lap to give him a hug. “I love them.”
“I told Uncle Landon that purple was your favorite color,” Chloe said. “But he picked them out all by himself.”
“He did a great job,” she said. “I’m afraid my gift isn’t nearly as thoughtful as yours.”
She reached over and handed him the heavy bag. He pulled out a bottle of expensive bourbon. “Oh, this works just fine.” Some nights he’d loved nothing better than a glass on the rocks to unwind before bed.
And in that moment he got the image of an old married couple again and he was more than okay with it.
Suited Him Well
“Chloe,” Landon said. “It’s time for you to go shower and get ready for bed.”
The three of them were sitting in the living room watching a game show. Normally by now she would have been getting ready to leave, but she wanted to talk to him about what happened at the store today and didn’t want to do it in front of Chloe.
It was time to man up and push her worries away that he’d be upset or mad over her situation.
“Okay. Are you leaving, Kristen?”
“No. I’ll be here when you’re done if you want to come down and say goodnight to me.”
“Everything okay?” he asked her when Chloe headed upstairs. “You seem quiet tonight. Distant maybe?”
“I’m fine. There is something I want to talk to you about though and it’d be better to do it without Chloe around.”
They continued to watch TV while Landon sipped his bourbon. She’d thought it was funny the first time she’d seen him drinking it, but then realized it suited him well.
That there were times he was older and more mature than most men who drank only beer.
Chloe came down and gave her a hug, then said goodnight to both of them. She could see the look in Landon’s eye that maybe he was hoping for a hug too, but it didn’t come.
“Does that bother you?” she asked.
“What?”
“That she doesn’t hug you good night. That she just says it?”
“Not really. I understand it’s different with us. She still doesn’t feel as comfortable reaching for me as she does a woman.”
“But you know she loves you,” she said.
“Of course I know that. Sometimes it’s still baby steps. But that isn’t what you wanted to talk to me about. So what is on your mind?”
“I’m not sure how to say this. Or how to start this. Part of me thinks it’s silly and the other part knows I should have maybe said something before now.”
“I don’t like the look on your face, so just say it.”
“My ex has been in contact with me. It started a few months ago. He stopped in to see me at Hartman’s. I was shocked as it’d been almost two years and the breakup wasn’t a good one.”
He frowned. “What did he want to see you about?”
“He said he wanted to get back together. I thought he was joking. I told him he was crazy. That I was seeing someone and even if I wasn’t, we didn’t end well and I wouldn’t get back with him anyway.”
“What happened with you two?” he asked. She liked that he was staying calm and not overreacting. Maybe she did think more of it than it was. Maybe that fear of telling him about her problems or concerns wasn’t a big deal.
How many times in life had she tried to hold things back to not turn a man off? To not have someone leave her because she might be too much trouble for them.
“Back when we broke up?” He nodded his head. “He was immature. He raced cars and they were his world. That and his friends. We didn’t have as much in common as I thought. I mean I thought he was different. Or he was when we first started dating, but then he changed.”
“Changed how?”
“He’d act childish. He’d get in fights at the racetrack. I guess he was always like that there, but I had no clue. We were set up by a friend. He’s in sales and, well, we had that part in common. But then when we got closer and I saw the other side to him, I didn’t care for it.”
“How long did you date?”
“About a year. I tried to give him a chance. Maybe I tried to get him to change a bit. Or put a lot of effort into liking what he did, so I did more changing than he did. Lots of things. In the end I wasn’t happy. His friends all thought I was a stuck-up bitch. I thought they were all jerks that never grew up. It just didn’t end well.”
“Then why did he come back a few months ago?”
“He said his mother had told him I was the best thing he’d ever get and he realized he was wrong and she was right. That he wanted another chance. I told him no. I wasn’t interested. I thought that was the end of it.”
“But it wasn’t?” he asked, his eyebrow rising.
“No. He sent me flowers in January. Said he missed me and wanted me back. Again, just shock over that. It’d been weeks since he was in the store and I told him I wasn’t interested and dating someone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the flowers?”
She wasn’t sure she liked the frown on his face. “I di
dn’t want you to think I was trying to create problems or make you jealous. Steve said I used to do that before. I didn’t think I did. But he had a way of twisting stuff all the time.” Making her wonder if she was the cause of their issues. That she was to blame when she tried so hard to not be the way her mother was. Or how she saw her mother and father’s marriage as a kid.
“And what did you tell him about the flowers he sent?”
“Nothing. I threw them out and didn’t respond to them. I thought that was the end of it.”
“But it obviously wasn’t,” he said, crossing his arms. Oh boy...well, she started this and knew she had to finish it no matter how hard it was.
“No. He sent me a few texts that I ignored too. I thought about telling you, but with everything going on after your mother’s visit and Chloe being suspended from school I just didn’t want to burden you with more issues or concerns. You had enough on your plate.”
“So you think that I wouldn’t have dealt with it? That I’d get annoyed or frustrated that you were having a problem?”
“I guess. I talked about complications enough in our lives and you always told me that everyone had them. I did, but didn’t want to put them on your shoulders. Again, I didn’t think much of it really. A few texts that I was ignoring.” She could handle this on her own. Why burden him with them? She wouldn’t have said anything now except she almost felt like she had no choice.
“How long ago was the last text?” he asked.
“A few weeks. I just pushed it from my mind and figured he’d moved on. I thought worst case I’d change my number, but—”
“But you’d have to tell me why you were and didn’t want to?”
“That was part of it. The other was, he knew where I worked, what good would it do to change my number?”
“You’re telling me this now because you think he hasn’t moved on? Or something else happened?”
“Both. I told my mother and she said I should have told you. I almost did, but it just didn’t seem the right time.”
He snorted. “You never have any problem telling me what is on your mind and someone from your past is harassing you and you don’t think I should know about it? Aside from us being in a relationship together, I’m an officer of the law who can deal with this.”