by Natalie Ann
“I promise. I know you’ll watch out for me. I know you’ll protect me.”
“Always.”
“Would you protect Kristen too?” she asked.
“Of course.” He paused for a second. “Did Kristen ask you not to tell me something?” He caught onto the adult part now.
“I don’t want her mad at me.”
“Let me ask you something. Listen to your gut. How did she look when she told you this? What happened when she asked you this?”
Chloe dropped her head. “She looked scared.”
“I don’t think Kristen would be mad at you, Chloe. But if you think I should know—and you wouldn’t have come to me if you didn’t think so—then I can’t help you if you don’t tell me. I can’t help or protect Kristen if you think she needs it either.”
“When we were at the mall yesterday a man bumped into her when we were leaving. Then he said some mean things to her.”
He let out a breath. Probably just a dick in the crowd. “What did Kristen say?”
“She said she was sorry she bumped into him, but then he was mean. He said something about warnings and he didn’t care or something.”
Shit, shit, shit. Now he had to stay calm though and not frighten Chloe, but get all the information at the same time. “Did Kristen say if she knew him? Did you hear his name?”
“She said he was a friend and that they weren’t friends anymore. I think it’s because he was so mean. Then when she went to walk away, he grabbed her arm to stop her, but she shrugged it off. When we got to her car her hands were shaking.”
And she didn’t tell him this? He wasn’t sure what he was more pissed off about. That Kristen made a promise and broke it, or that this asshole wasn’t going away.
“Did you hear a name?” he asked again.
“Scott? No, Steve?”
“You did the right thing, Chloe. Telling me.”
“Kristen won’t be mad at me, right? I just didn’t like seeing her upset and it kind of frightened me too.”
“I’m sure it did. Don’t worry about it though. I’ll take care of it. Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”
Chloe stood up. “No. I feel better that I told you though.”
“That’s what is important.”
***
Monday morning Kristen was in the bathroom putting her makeup on when she heard pounding on her front door.
She had no idea who could be knocking this early, but walked out with her mascara wand in her hand and looked through the peephole to see Landon standing there.
She pulled the door open. “Landon, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“What the hell were you thinking?” he shouted at her.
“What?” she asked, but she knew it was stupid to play dumb. He knew. He had to know.
“Don’t try to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about. Steve. You had words with him at the mall on Saturday. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it could have been a coincidence that he was there,” she said back. “I didn’t want to make matters worse.”
“You know damn well there aren’t any coincidences when it comes to this. Tell me exactly what happened.”
She told him everything. She hated doing it when she saw how red his face was, but she wouldn’t lie about what happened. She knew she shouldn’t have kept it from him to begin with, but that damn fear of hers that he’d think she was too much to handle in his life won out.
“I left. I watched in the mirrors and he wasn’t following me. I even turned to look over my shoulder and he was walking away.”
“I don’t care,” he said. “How dare you not tell me? How dare you not only keep it from me, but also tell Chloe to not tell me? You put yourself in danger. You put her in danger.”
She started to cry. “I didn’t think of it that way. He was only trying to rattle me. He barely even looked at Chloe. It was all about me. I wanted it to be over with. I wanted to get away. I knew if I told you, you’d get angry like you are now.”
“You’re damn right I’m angry. Kristen, do you know anything at all about him in the past two years? Anything about his life? Have you even wondered why he came to you out of the blue?”
“He said his mother told him I was the best thing that happened to him and he was done racing now.”
“Did he tell you why he was done?” he asked, storming around her tiny apartment.
“No.” What didn’t she know? Why hadn’t she asked more questions? Because she didn’t care.
“He had an accident. Severe head injury. People with head injuries can change. They can be more violent, more aggressive after. They can flip for no reason. There are all sorts of studies on this. I’ve seen it myself from friends that have had concussions. Head injuries are weird things.”
Her jaw dropped. “He’d had a few concussions before that I knew of too. Why didn’t you tell me what you found out?” She felt betrayed that he didn’t share that with her.
“It’s public knowledge. When I got his name, I did an internet search on him. You could have done it yourself. I didn’t know you weren’t aware.”
“Looking into him would have given him more importance in my life than I wanted to. I told you I just wanted to ignore it.”
“Well, how is that working out for you now!” he shouted at her. “You’re making some piss poor decisions on top of it.”
Whatever makeup had been on her face was rushing down her cheeks making her wonder if she resembled some washed up Goth singer. “I don’t need you to lecture me.”
“Someone has to. And I repeat. You put Chloe in danger, not just yourself. He is watching you in public. What did I teach you in self-defense? Did you forget it all? Did you not realize?”
She sat down, feeling ill. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle this. That you’d get upset with my problems and think I was too much of a headache to have around.”
“That’s crazy,” he said. “What have I ever done to make you think that way?”
“You’ve got a lot on your plate. Your life has been turned upside down with Chloe in it and the last thing you need is a girlfriend with issues.”
He snorted. “I hate to tell you, but we all have issues in life. Get over it.”
He was right again, but she didn’t want to admit it. She was still so fearful he was going to leave her over this, but she had to tell him she wasn’t stupid. That she could take care of herself. That she wasn’t that big of a problem for him. “Twice I felt like someone was watching me in the mall. I looked around and didn’t see anyone though. I just thought it was people in the crowd.”
“Self-awareness is part of the battle. Self-defense isn’t always physical as much as mental. As much as your inner self telling you to be on alert.” His voice was calmer now. Almost soothing and though she wanted to question it, she didn’t. Maybe she was doing a good job at convincing him she had it covered.
“I know that. I remembered it. I guess that is why I kept looking around when I felt it.”
“Don’t mistake my tone for not being angry,” he said. “I’m livid on so many levels I can’t even fully explain it. But we need to deal with this first. I need you to come with me and fill out papers for a restraining order.”
She knew he was right, but still felt the need to argue. “I don’t want to make it worse. Won’t that make it worse?”
He stood up. “You haven’t wanted to make it worse all along and yet it has escalated. You know I’m right and you know you need to do this. Finish getting ready and let’s go do it before you go to work.”
She nodded. When she was ready to go she followed him to the police station and did everything he asked her to do. And when it was time to leave he barely said a word to her, let alone pulled her in for a hug or a kiss.
Everything she thought she had might just be gone and she had no one to blame but herself. By trying to prote
ct her heart, protect herself from him leaving her, she might have just caused the very thing she feared.
Uncomfortable Position
A week had gone by and she had no clue where she and Landon stood at this point. They were barely talking and since she knew she was in the wrong with how she’d handled everything, part of her didn’t feel right bugging him.
She’d apologized a few times and he said fine, but things weren’t the same. All those fears she had that made her act the way she had ended up being the wrong moves in the end anyway.
She’d been selfish, she knew. She hadn’t thought she was putting Chloe at risk. Or even putting a nine-year-old in an uncomfortable position. She was just trying to make sure she could handle this on her own. That she didn’t need Landon to solve her problem.
That she didn’t want to turn him off.
But when Landon told her about his conversation with Chloe she felt lower than a worm’s belly in a mud puddle.
The first thing she’d done on Tuesday night was bring pizza to dinner and let Chloe know she wasn’t mad at her. That she did the right thing by telling her uncle.
That sometimes adults made mistakes and she should always follow her gut no matter how uncomfortable it all was.
Kristen should have listened to her own advice. She shouldn’t have been selfish. She shouldn’t have let her past fears dictate her future.
Maybe if she’d thought enough she would have realized that she had been single for so long because of those fears. That she found a great guy that wasn’t like any of her exes and she should have given him the benefit of the doubt for being stronger than she thought.
After dinner was done, Kristen had gone home and not even gotten a good night kiss from Landon. That was almost a week ago and they hadn’t seen each other since. At this point, she had no idea how to make things right between them again and wondered if it was even possible.
It was her night to close at Olivia’s shop and Marcy was working with her. Kevin had left over an hour ago and the store was empty.
They’d locked the front door and set the alarms, getting ready to leave out the back when Marcy’s cell phone rang. She picked it up and said, “I’m on my way home now. Just ten minutes.”
“Everything okay?” Kristen asked.
“Yes. Robbie just threw up and you know my husband can’t handle that stuff. He’ll be fine until I get there. Actually I wish that I was working another few hours. He’ll probably leave the mess for me now.”
Kristen laughed, a forced one at best. There wasn’t much she’d found to be happy about lately.
Once they were out the backdoor and in the parking lot, Kristen said, “Crap. I left the deposit on Olivia’s desk rather than locking it in the safe for her tomorrow.”
“Okay, let’s go back in,” Marcy said.
“No, you go home and relieve your husband. It will only take me a minute to move it. I’ll lock the door when I get in and then lock it when I leave.”
“Are you sure?” Marcy asked. “You know we have to leave together. That is the rule.”
“It’s fine,” Kristen said. “I’ll be one minute. Go.”
Marcy hesitated at the door, but then walked to her car and Kristen turned to go back in, locking herself in the building, taking care of the deposit and then walking back out. She might have been distracted lately, but she wasn’t stupid.
Or maybe she was, because when she turned to leave after locking the door and setting the alarm, she saw a car next to hers in the parking lot. She didn’t know who it was, but the car started up and moved. She figured they were just turning around, so she walked forward.
When she got closer to her car, she realized the other vehicle hadn’t left and came back next to her and stopped.
Steve opened the door and got out and she realized that Landon was right—things weren’t going to go away.
Unfortunately Steve was now between her and her car. She could try to go back to the building, but she’d have to unlock the door and he’d catch her by then. Maybe he just wanted to talk.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing filing a restraining order on me?”
“Which you’re violating now,” she said, her hand going to her pocketbook trying to locate her phone.
“I’m not touching you.”
“It has nothing to do with touching me. Didn’t you read it?” Why was she goading him?
“I’m sick and tired of you running to your boyfriend and making this out to be more than it is. That’s always been your problem. Nothing more than a drama queen and having to get your way.”
“If you think so badly of me why do you keep coming around? Just walk away.”
“Because you’ve got to understand you can’t always get what you want.”
He moved closer to her and she knew there was no way she was going to be able to get her phone fully out and call. Her gut told her even the threat of calling would set him off more. Maybe she could just talk him down.
He got a step closer, his face an ugly shade of red and her inner self was telling her to be prepared. To remember everything Landon taught her in self-defense almost a year ago.
“I just want to go home. Leave and we can forget about this,” she said, trying to walk past him.
He grabbed her arm and she just reacted. Her knee went into his groin and when he doubled over, she turned her body and tossed him over her shoulder to the ground and ran to her car. When she got in and started the engine, locking herself in, she turned and saw he wasn’t moving on the ground.
What had she’d done?
She pulled her phone out and made a frantic call to 911.
***
Landon was walking down to the living room after making sure Chloe was set for the night when his cell phone rang. It was the police department and he was wondering who he could call to stay with Chloe as he was still too ticked off at Kristen.
He figured they’d have to talk it out at some point, but he wasn’t ready.
Chloe had been upset and wanted to know what was going on and he just said that sometimes adults have disagreements and they were working them out.
He hoped Kristen and he could, but he really wasn’t sure. Trust had been broken and for him that was hard to regain.
“Barber,” he said.
“You need to get down to Hartman’s now. There’s been an incident with Kristen.”
He didn’t hear anything else, but ran up and told Chloe to get up, and to get in his car. He hoped what he found didn’t frighten her, but right now he was pretty damn frightened himself.
When he pulled onto the scene ten minutes later there was an ambulance and several police cars.
His heart was racing fast enough that he thought he might actually pass out.
“Stay in the vehicle,” he told Chloe and ran out to the ambulance to see Kristen standing there giving a statement to one of his coworkers, shaking, with tears in her eyes.
He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, whispering it’d be okay.
“He’s not waking up,” she said. “He cornered me and grabbed my arm and I kneed him and threw him to the ground. I think he hit his head. I don’t know if he’s alive or dead.”
“He’s alive,” the officer said, “but not waking up.”
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” Kristen said. “What did I do? What if I killed him? Am I going to go to jail?”
“Take a deep breath. Relax. We’ll sort it out. I’m sure he’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t want to live with this if he isn’t.”
She burst into more fresh tears and he held her tighter and realized that all his anger at her had been misplaced. He’d never taken into consideration how scared she might have been. He’d never really even talked to her about it and realized it was wrong on his part.
“He’s going to be fine. Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I won’t let you go. I promise.”
***
Several hours later, Kristen w
as at Landon’s sitting in one of his big sweatshirts and a pair of his shorts that were hanging down to her knees.
“You should start leaving some clothes here,” he said.
She’d wanted to do it for a long time, but hadn’t wanted to overstep herself. Then this past week she’d thought she lost everything with Landon.
“Maybe I will. I don’t know. Are we good now? We haven’t talked in a week and now you are talking about me leaving clothes here.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I guess under it all I never really stopped to ask how you felt about everything. I just wanted to step up and protect you. Watch out for you. I never asked what you were feeling. I just jumped down your throat and that was wrong of me. Worse that I’ve been keeping my distance and not talking to you. You told me you were fearful of that and it’s exactly what I did proving your fears correct. Childish on my part when I’ve never been that way.”
“I wasn’t any better. I made a promise to you that I broke. I don’t do things like that. And I put Chloe in a horrible position that I never should have done. That was wrong of me too.”
“I guess love makes people do the wrong things at times.”
“Yeah,” she said, putting her head on his shoulder. “I’m really sorry about everything with Chloe. You’ve been working so hard to make this a home for her. To give her a good life. I come in and try to make her not tell you something. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know how you can forgive me or trust me again.”
“You aren’t going to be the last person that puts her in that situation. You probably aren’t even the first. It’s life and she has to learn to live it and deal with it. Maybe she can learn from our mistakes. But if you tell me you won’t do it again, I’ll believe you.”
“We’ve made enough mistakes. I know I’ve made enough poor decisions in my lifetime that I’ll never forget.” She was done with that. She was going to do what was right now even if she was fearful of the consequences.